Chapter 1 #2
“Your home is with me. In case you forgot, I’m your husband.”
“The same husband who told me that he wants a divorce so he can concentrate on his new woman and baby? That’s the husband I’m supposed to live with?”
“Did I file papers on you, Bailey? Did I file divorce papers on you?”
“I filed them on you, Xander.”
“Exactly. So who wants the divorce?”
My eyes rolled toward the ceiling even though he couldn’t see them. “I’m not doing this with you.” I prepared to end the call.
“I don’t appreciate the fact that you went and filed on me. Seems to me like you were just looking for the opportunity to get out of this thing.”
“Stop trying to gaslight me, Xander. I don’t have the energy or the mental bandwidth to wade through your bullshit right now. I’m busy dealing with my grief! I—”
He cut me off. “I hope you drown in it, you stupid bitch!”
Then there was nothing but dead air.
Perkins found me in the bedroom I’d claimed. “You okay?”
Somewhere in the recesses of my logical mind, I knew that the things Xander had said to me should make me angry.
Livid even. But feelings and emotions were luxuries I didn’t have.
It took energy to argue and cuss people out.
It took every ounce of energy I had to get myself out of bed each morning.
I had nothing for Xander or his temper tantrum.
“Ugh. As if I don’t have enough to deal with.
Here he comes with his . . . theatrics. Now, he’s pretending like me filing the divorce papers came out of nowhere.
” I took a deep breath. “I guess he thought that I was gonna let him play in my face and take his sweet time deciding whether to file or not.”
“Well, the joke’s on him.”
“Yeah,” I said with a sigh.
She sat down on the window seat while I perched on the wobbly white chair that was pushed up to the desk. “Bailey Boo.”
My heart immediately softened when she called me by my familial nickname.
“I know how important your marriage is to you,” she continued.
She was right. My marriage was important to me. “Well, when you’re raised by a single mother with four daughters by four different men, the thought of marriage hits different.”
“I know.”
“I know Mom was doing her best, but some of her choices, Perk.”
“I know,” she repeated.
“Giving us our dad’s last names as first names? What the hell was that?”
She laughed aloud. “You need to shut up, because of the four of us, you won the war of names. Bailey actually makes sense as a last name and a first name. Perkins and Collins? Not so much. And poor little Church. She didn’t stand a chance.”
We laughed together and it felt good to laugh from way down deep in my stomach.
“Thank God none of those dudes had the last name Dix or Cox,” she joked.
I laughed more. “Or what if they had colors for last names? One or two of us could’ve ended up being named Brown Kingsley or White Kingsley.”
“Or Black Kingsley.”
I shook my head. “And she thought that was a cute idea.”
“Like you said, she was doing her best. She was young, single, stressed out, and surviving. She was trying to give us a permanent connection to our dads, even though they didn’t want a permanent connection to her.”
“Yeah. I’m not mad at her or anything. I just realized that her choices had an impact. I love Mama. I love that woman so much. I just really didn’t want to be like her. The way she struggled with us—”
“You don’t have to tell me. I followed right in her footsteps,” she confessed. “I mean, I didn’t name my girls after their dad. They all have the same father, so that would’ve been weird.”
We cracked up again.
“Plus, his last name is Bishop. Girls named Bishop 1, Bishop 2, and Bishop 3?”
We could not pull it together with the laughter.
“You did the normal thing and gave them his last name as a last name. That’s normal, Perkins.”
“Yeah,” she was thoughtful, “but I’m kinda glad that she gave us all her last name. I mean, we’re the Kingsley girls. Would we have felt like the Kingsley girls if all of our last names were different?”
I didn’t have a response.
“Anyway, as I was saying. I know how important your marriage is to you. I know you filed the paperwork, but if you decide not to follow through with the divorce, I don’t think anybody would judge you.”
“I’m following through with it. Me and Xander have been a trainwreck since the day we said, ‘I do.’ I’m tired of fighting to revive a relationship that’s been dead for years.”
She nodded slowly. “I have the rest of this week and Monday through Friday of next week. Then I’m going back to Jackson Falls. Have you thought about if you want to stay here or move with the rest of us?”
“I don’t know about picking up my whole life and moving it across the country, Perk. I mean, me and Xander own a home. I have my job. Where would I work in Jackson Falls?”
“Girl, there are plenty of jobs in Jackson Falls. There’re jobs in town, jobs at the lodge. You could work at the hair salon with Collins, me, and Church.”
Collins was part owner of the upscale hair salon that was located in the Strong family’s resort. Perkins was a hair stylist, and Church worked there as the receptionist.
“I don’t know.” I held up both hands like I was warding off her words. “It’s a lot.”
“It is.” Her tone was calm and soft. “But it is something to think about, Bailey. If your marriage is coming to end, Xander and his family probably won’t have your back. You’re basically gonna be in Chicago all alone.”
She was right. Initially when our mother decided to relocate, she took both Collins and Church with her.
It was difficult, but at least Perkins and I had each other.
And I had Xander. At the end of last summer, Perkins decided that there was nothing keeping her in Chicago.
She felt like her daughters would have a better quality of life, get a better education, and get to experience things we never did as children growing up in the big city.
I really wanted to make the move with her, but Xander had been adamantly opposed.
As far as he was concerned, his life was in Chicago.
His job was here, his family was here, and his social circle was here.
He visited Jackson Falls with me on a few occasions.
He felt like it was too slow and too country for him.
As his wife, I went where he went. So, we stayed put in Chicago.
“I’ll think about it.” I wasn’t sure why I was hesitant. When Xander wasn’t willing to move, I desperately wanted to move. Now that I didn’t have to consider his stance, I was hesitant. I didn’t get myself.
In the stillness of me thinking about what the next steps should be in my life, Perkins’s phone rang. “It’s Mama,” she said after checking the screen. “Hey, Mama. Me and Bailey are here, and I have you on speaker.”
“Hey, I just got off the phone with Mr. Wallace. What is he talking about, he had to pull out his shotty on Xander?”
I let Perkins explain the situation to our mom, while I sat there taking in the sound of her voice.
I missed that lady something awful. I went from having her close enough to visit any time I wanted to, to her living over two thousand miles away.
And with the two hour time difference, I couldn’t even talk to her whenever I wanted to.
One time I called her on the way to work, and she told me it was barely five in the morning there.
“I have some exciting news,” she announced, and I tuned back into the conversation. “Bayliss and I bought a bed and breakfast.”
“I see I need to get back home,” Perkins joked. “When I’m not there, that husband of yours lets you do all kinds of reckless stuff.”
Our mother laughed. “Whatever.”
“Won’t a bed and breakfast compete with his family’s resort?” I questioned.
“No, it’ll cater to a totally different demographic than the Manor at Sienna Sunset Resort. Mr. and Mrs. Strong think it’s a great idea. They think Jackson Falls needs a bed and breakfast.”
“Okay,” I told her. “Congratulations.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” Perkins added.
“Well, it’s not ready for visitors or anything.
It needs work, modernization. A good, deep cleaning and modernization.
But once we get it fixed up, I feel like it’s gonna be a showpiece and a money-maker.
Bailey, if you ever decide to make the move to Jackson Falls, I wanna hire you to manage the place.
With your customer service skills, it’ll be the second hottest place to stay in this area. ”
“I don’t know.” I hedged.
“She hasn’t made up her mind about relocating, Mom.”
When our mother’s voice floated from the phone it was kind and loving.
“That’s okay, Bailey Boo. Take your time.
Jackson Falls isn’t going anywhere. Of course as your mama I’m gonna be worried about you there all by yourself.
But I’ll trust that the Lord will keep you safe and that you’ll always know that you have a home wherever I am. ”
The following Monday morning, I was in my feelings bad.
It was the day I was scheduled to return to work.
My sister would head back to Jackson Falls on Friday.
It bothered me that instead of getting to spend Perkins’s last few days in Chicago with her, I would spend them in the office getting reacquainted with my job.
But since I wasn’t independently wealthy, I had to work.
On the positive side, I hadn’t heard from Xander.
But on the negative side, he also hadn’t signed the divorce papers.
It was a cold and snowy day in mid-March.
The snow and the fact that it was Monday made the return to work even more daunting than it already was.
Because I worked downtown, I took public transportation.
Taking public transportation when it was cold and snowy sucked, but I did thank God that it wasn’t raining.
There wasn’t much worse or nastier than public transportation on a rainy day.
The rain always seemed to kick up the smell of piss at the train station.