20. Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty
Bellarose
I looked at my phone to see if Violet responded to my text. When I saw she hadn’t, I started to get worried as I reread her vague message again.
Vi
I’m not going to be working the rest of the day and I’m not hungry so I won’t be taking lunch.
Me
What happened? Is everything okay?
I waited another five minutes for a response before I called Cade over. I needed to find out what the fuck happened.
“What’s up?” He and John showed up less than a minute after I texted him.
“Something’s wrong with Violet. I need to check on her. Keep your phone on you in case I need you?” I knew John knew about us, so I didn’t try to make an excuse for my request.
“You want me to go with you? It’s almost lunchtime.” Cade replied, pulling out his phone to check his statement, but I shook my head.
“No. She’s not having lunch, and she’s not working the rest of the day.”
“Why? What happened?” Cade asked, looking concerned.
“I don’t know. That’s what I need to find out.”
I could see Cade’s desire to go with me. I knew how much he loved Violet like a sister, but I hoped he understood more people would make it harder to figure out what was wrong. Thankfully he did, because he sighed and nodded.
“Okay. Let me know how I can help, please.” I nodded at his words and left, walking faster the closer I got to the pack house.
I knocked on Violet’s door but she didn’t answer right away, so I knocked and knocked until she opened up. My heart broke when I saw the bloodshot eyes and the tears still running down her face. I looked behind her to find Chris but was surprised to see he wasn’t there. Where was he? He was her shadow, these days even more than ever. Did something happen to him?
“What happened? Where’s Chris?” I asked, bringing her into a hug.
Violet practically collapsed against me, and she buried her face in my chest, sobs wracking her petite frame. I pushed her into the room and closed the door behind me, sitting her on the bed and letting her cry. A few stray tears left my face as I heard her anguished sobs. I pulled out my phone, ready to call Cade to go find Chris and figure out what the hell happened, if Violet didn’t start talking in the next few minutes.
It took a little bit, but Violet finally calmed down enough to tell me what happened, and I was livid.
Livid at Martha for putting her fucking opinion where it didn’t belong. Livid at Chris for listening to the wretched woman and for making my sister cry. Heartbroken for both of them, because I knew he must be hurting too right now.
“I’m going to have a talk with that man,” I growled. I wanted to talk some sense into him, or at least beat him up, but before I could do more than stand up, Violet pulled me back onto the bed.
“You can’t, Bells. This isn’t something you can fix. Chris’ issues aren’t with Martha, they’re with himself. He believes he isn’t good enough. I’ve known it, but I thought I could convince him otherwise. I just didn’t get enough time to make him see it,” Violet explained, wiping the tears from her face, a look of defeat in them that I didn’t like seeing. “If it hadn’t been Martha, it would have been some other random comment from another random nosy person, and Chris would’ve reacted the same.”
“But you guys are so cute together,” I whispered helplessly, only to watch more tears fall from my sister’s face as she looked away. I needed to fix this, or I needed to punch someone, but she was tying my hands here.
“It doesn’t matter. He said we weren’t second-chance mates, and I should find mine. He doesn’t want to get attached.”
“But—” I tried.
I was sure he already was attached. I was so sure Chris was in love with my sister. It broke my heart that he was letting this go because they weren’t second-chance mates. The Moon Goddess didn’t always get it right. I was a prime example of that.
“I won’t bully him into taking me back. I probably bullied him into it in the first place. He told me the first night we kissed that he thought he was taking advantage. I practically forced him,” my sister sniffled.
“That’s bullshit, Vi. That boy never looked at you like you were forcing him into a relationship.”
I was willing to let my sister and Chris make their own choices, but I wasn’t willing to let my sister feel guilt for being brave. That man loved her. She didn’t bully him into anything... but I might.
“Just leave it be. Please. For me.” Violet begged, even as more tears were falling down her face.
“How do you want to handle this, then?” I asked, wanting to pull my hair out. “Do you want me to send him back to Crescent Moon?”
“No. You didn’t tell anyone, right? About Chris and me?” she asked.
“No. I promised you.”
“Let him stay. We’ll go back together and no one will know,” she finished, looking down at her hands.
“You still want him to guard you?” I asked.
Violet shook her head, tears falling and splashing on her hands.
“I-I can’t. It’ll hurt too much. I can make it by myself to the office now. I think,” she said quietly.
“Vi—” I started.
“I’d like to try at least,” Violet told me, looking up at me with determination etched in her face through her pain-riddled ears. on top of the pain.
“Okay,” I acquiesced.
“Chris can stay and you can put him to work or he can hang out. He probably needs a vacation,” she chuckled dryly.
“He breaks your heart and you want to give the man a vacation?” I asked, dumbfounded.
My fucking sister was a goddamn saint.
“He’s basically been working eighteen-hour days since we got here. He deserves it. I don’t want Cory to punish him because he chose to end things with me. That only proves to him that he’s beneath us and deserves to be punished for what he did; that he shouldn’t have gotten involved with me. I owe him a lot, Bells. It doesn’t matter how this ended. He’s the reason I’ve gotten this far.”
I tucked her hair behind her ear.
“You know he is right about something: He doesn’t deserve you. No one fucking deserves you, sister.”
Violet started crying again and crawled back into bed, hugging a pillow like it was her lifeline. I pulled the covers over her and bent to kiss her forehead, realizing the reason she was holding onto the pillow was because it smelled like Chris. My heart broke further, and I wished I could take all the pain away from her.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t lock the door. I’ll be just down the way a little.”
“Okay,” Violet whispered, closing her eyes.
I stepped out of the room, walked a little bit away from the door and called Cade.
“Can you grab Adam from daycare at four?” I asked.
“Of course. What’s happening to Violet?” Cade asked.
“I’ll explain later, but the short of it is, Chris broke up with her,” I explained.
“What? But he looks at her like she hangs the moon,” Cade huffed.
“Yeah, well, like I said, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you the long version later. Right now, I’m going to spend some time with my sister.”
“You got it, Princess. I’ll make sure Adam is picked up and fed.”
“Thanks, Cade.” I hung up and went back into the room, crawling in behind Violet and wrapping her in a hug.
I let her cry until she fell asleep. I stayed there for a bit longer, thinking about all Violet had been through. I knew Chris was perfect for her, and she was perfect for him. They helped each other be better, braver, more open.
I really hoped they found their way through this. I hated that I gave her my word that I wouldn’t intervene, but it was her decision, and I needed to respect it. Chris needed a reality check.
I knew Violet was right. Chris always felt like he was beneath us. It showed in the way he treated us. The way he refused to speak with me without using my title. The man had a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas, but I thought being with Violet was slowly chipping away at it.
Dinner time came, and Violet was still sleeping. A small knock on the bathroom door sounded, and I stood up and went to open it. Chris tensed when he saw me standing on the other side of the door. I pushed him back, not wanting to wake my sister.
Once we were in his room, I sat him down on his bed and got right down to business. “My sister is not your responsibility anymore.”
“I—”
“I’m not done. No one in Crescent Moon knows what was going on between you and Violet. Violet didn’t want to put that pressure on you. I was going to send you back, but Violet refuses. She wants you to stay here until she’s ready to head back. She won’t tell anyone that you were dismissed from guarding her, but she doesn’t want you around her anymore.”
“What about her training?”
Chris couldn’t even look me in the eyes. They were solely on the floor. His shoulders were sagged and though I couldn’t see his face very well, the pain radiating from his soul was palpable.
“I don’t know, but it’s not your responsibility anymore,” I said a little softer.
“I would like to talk to her,” he said, finally looking up.
I scoffed. I may like Chris but I wasn’t giving him an opportunity to hurt my sister again before he got his head out of his ass, and listened to his heart.
“And I would like a million dollars. You broke up with her, big guy. Now you’ll wait until she’s ready to talk to you.”
“But—”
“No buts. It is what she needs.”
Chris looked down at his hands again.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her,” he whispered so low I almost couldn’t hear him.
“And yet, here we are. Are you going to respect her wishes?”
“Yes, Luna.”
Chris looked so miserable that I couldn’t even really give him a piece of my mind. I shook my head and headed back to the bathroom to get back to my sister, but stopped at the door and looked back at him over my shoulder.
“I’m not a luna right now. I’m just the sister of the woman’s heart you just broke, and I don’t like you very much because of it right now, Chris. Violet’s been through a lot over the last year. And even with this, I know she’s going to get through it all. The question is, will you?”
Chris looked back up at me, a question in his eyes.
“She’s not going to chase you, Chris. She’s going to let you go because she respects you and loves you. She’ll let you lose her and find someone else, even though it will kill her. Because that’s how big her heart is. But one day, you’re going to realize you just gave up on a woman who would have given you one hundred percent of herself. Violet doesn’t half-ass anything. When she gave you her heart, she was in, all the way, and you just threw that away.”
Chris looked away, swallowing hard, and I left. My job was to help my sister with her broken heart, not his.
By the time Violet woke up, it was nighttime. She seemed calmer and told me she was just going to watch some TV or maybe get Elim to hang out with her. I let her know I told Chris her wishes and left, knowing she needed time alone to process. I brought her some food, even though she said she wasn’t hungry. I didn’t want her to go without dinner if she got hungry halfway through the night, and she didn’t want to go downstairs alone.
Adam was already bathed and asleep by the time I went to check on him. I walked into my room, not seeing Cade, and I huffed out a breath of disappointment. I’d have to thank him tomorrow. Just as the thought popped into my head, he stepped out of my bathroom, wearing only his boxers briefs.
“I thought I heard you out here,” he said, walking to me and pulling me into the bathroom by the hand. The bathtub was full of bubbles and smelled of oils. “I figured whatever happened was going to leave you drained,” he explained, pulling my shirt over my head.
I sighed as he unhooked my bra and palmed my breasts as he removed it. After I was naked, I got into the tub and pulled up a little, motioning for him to get in. He removed his underwear and slid in behind me, wrapping me in his strong arms, surrounding me with his scent, and making me feel safe. Just having him hold me helped soothe the pain I was feeling for my sister. I relaxed against his hard chest and told him everything that happened as we soaked.
“I feel for Chris. Feeling like he isn’t enough. That was me once.” He sighed, holding me close.
That’s me on a lot of days for the last eight years, I thought.
“You’re a great alpha,” I assured him. I saw the way his people respected him and how much time he took throughout the day to check in on them.
“Dad taught me well, but I didn’t always believe it.” Cade kissed my temple. “I thought he was perfect for Violet. It’s a shame.”
“Yeah, and I wish I could meddle and make him see reason, but I promised Violet.”
“I didn’t. Can I talk to him?”
“I doubt it.” I sighed.
If I knew my sister, she would make Cade make the same promise.
“Well, fuck. I don’t like seeing Violet sad.”
“Me, either,” I answered, kissing the bicep that was wrapped around me.
It was the first night we spent together but didn’t have sex. I was too drained, and Cade didn’t try. Instead, he curled me up in his arms and we talked until we fell asleep.
The following week was excruciating, watching both Violet and Chris. My sister was trying so hard to be strong, but the smile was gone from her face, and she was barely eating. She had me lift the no-talking rule from Chris the following day, though she did ask me to request space for her to get used to not being around him twenty-four-seven.
I escorted her to the office in the mornings and then back, even though she managed it independently a few times when I was busy. Her emotions were still too raw. I didn’t want her pushing herself when her control over her feelings was so tenuous.
Chris was technically on vacation, but I found him following behind wherever Violet went, just out of her line of sight. He stood watch around the corner of her office, growling and telling people off if they looked to be heading in her direction. Violet was still insisting on going to dinner with the pack, and Chris would sit far enough away to give her space, but his eyes were always on her. He barely ate, watching everyone who stood and walked near her, ready to protect her. I was beginning to wonder who was struggling with trauma more, Chris or Violet.
Chris’ mood became downright foul after the third day, when Violet let me know Elim was going to be training her at night like Chris used to do, on our walk toward the stairs. I honestly thought he was going to lose it. Violet hadn’t noticed how close he always was to her, but I heard his breathing increase and his heart rate speed up behind his closed door.
Thankfully, he didn’t make a scene, and if he did lose it, it was in private, because I watched him walk past his usual post on my way to grab breakfast, and I didn’t see him for the rest of the day. Chris was visibly hurting, yet he did nothing about it.
I was hurting for my sister and my childhood friend. I spent hours wondering what I could do to help them without meddling, but then Friday came around, and everything went out the window as Eric mind-linked me first thing in the morning as I was grabbing the plates for breakfast.
‘Luna, the thermometer in the cellar broke.’
‘What’s the damage?’ I asked, my stomach sinking.
‘It’s bad. You should come see for yourself.’
‘I’ll be there in a few.’
I placed a plate on the coffee table next to where Chris was sitting. He looked surprised, but I hadn’t failed to notice the dark bags under his eyes or that he was also barely eating. I wasn’t heartless. I knew he was miserable, but it was of his own making, and until he got out of his head and listened to his heart, there wasn’t much more I could do for him.
I sat the tray down in the conference room when I got there, but instead of sitting, I took a step back. “Violet, can you watch Adam for a little while? I have to go meet with Eric.”
“Sure. Everything okay?”
“No. The thermometer broke in the cellar, and I have to go see how much grape we lost.”
“Want me to come with you?” Cade asked, instantly standing.
I shook my head. His people were done with work. Right now, they were relaxing or helping out with patrol.
I walked into the cellar where we were storing the grapes for processing. The heat hit me in the face when I entered the room, followed by the sugary vinegar smell.
“What the hell, Eric?” I said, looking around helplessly at the cartons of leaking fruit.
“I don’t know how this happened, Luna. I checked the rooms myself yesterday, as we always do. It was working.”
“Call someone to fix it, and let’s see what we can salvage.”
I removed my sweater and got to work.
This room was supposed to be temperature-controlled, so there were no windows to let out the heat or the smell except for the entrance door. I was sweating profusely as we worked, placing the remaining grapes in the wine cellar for now, which thankfully ran on a different furnace. Things were looking grim by the afternoon. I was exhausted, and sweat and the syrup of the grapes saturated my clothes.
We lost almost eighty percent of the grapes to the heat. They pretty much cooked in the cellar. The furnace repairman didn’t understand what caused the malfunction. At this point, it didn’t matter. Even if I survived this year, I’d be fucked the next.
I walked out with Eric late in the evening to find a bunch of my people waiting outside the building.
“The grapes are in bad shape, but we still have options. Things will be alright,” I lied.
It was already past dinner, and Chris was still in his post, so I went to the luna office and found Violet working. On the little table that used to belong to Chris, Adam was coloring on some printed pictures.
“Can you watch him for a little while longer?” I asked.
“Sure. Take your time.”
I walked into the alpha office and sank into the desk, trying hard not to cry. How the fuck was I going to survive a year without making wine? I wasn’t even sure the amount of grapes we were able to save was usable. If they went bitter because of the heat, they were going in the trash. Even if they weren’t, I wouldn’t make much with them. Not enough for a pack to survive.
A knock on the door made me pull my head out of my hands, and Cade walked in a moment later.
“What’s going on?”
“I just got fucked in the ass,” I answered.
“You cheating on me, Princess?” Cade joked, making me let out a half snort.
“I wish. This wasn’t voluntary.” I sighed, pulling my hair up, and out of my face. “The thermometer in the cellar broke. The furnace was running all night. We lost almost all the grapes.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. All the work your peop—”
“That’s not even on my radar, Bells. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet,” I told him honestly. “But I’ll figure it out. I have to.”
“Have you eaten?” Cade asked, a pensive look on his face.
I shook my head. I hadn’t eaten breakfast, lunch or dinner. The smell of the grapes all day made the thought of food unappetizing.
“Let’s go find you something to eat.” Cade walked around the desk and offered his hand.
I took it, and he pulled me up and hugged me. I rested my head on his chest, relishing the comfort his hug was offering me.
“Luna, I heard—” The door burst open, and Hugh came running in, stopping when he saw me wrapped up in Cade’s arms. “Pardon me.” The idiot turned right around and left.
I wanted to curse, but instead of running after him, I sighed and hugged Cade tighter. Everything was becoming a fucking mess that was slowly getting out of my control.
‘Come to my office in twenty minutes,’ I mind-linked Hugh.
‘Of course, Luna.’
“Do you want me to go talk to him?” Cade asked.
“No. That’s my responsibility. Just stay here for a moment.”
Cade humored me, letting me hug him for a few more minutes before I pulled back.
“I’ll grab us some late dinner. Want to eat in your room?” he asked. When I nodded, Cade bent down and kissed me. “It’ll all be okay, Princess.”
I nodded again, though I didn’t know how it would be. Hugh showed up a little while later.
“You wanted to see me, Luna?”
“Yes. Have a seat,” I said and waited for him to sit down. To his credit, Hugh looked nervous. “What were you coming to talk to about?”
“Oh, it-it’s not important.”
“It was important enough to burst into my office without knocking. What was it?”
“I heard about what happened to the grapes. I wanted to know how I could help.”
Well, that was a surprise. Since when did he volunteer to help?
“I’ll let you know once I figure out what to do,” I told him.
Hugh nodded and moved to stand.
“I’m not done.” He sat back down. “About what you wal—”
“I won’t tell anyone, Luna,” he blurted, stopping my next words.
“You won’t?”
“No. It’s no one’s business. You deserve to be happy, Luna.”
His words took me by surprise, and I guess it showed on my face because Hugh sighed.
“Listen, I know I’ve been a shit beta. I’ve noticed all the work Beta John and Alpha Cade do. I-I never had to do anything with Alpha Brandon. He gave me the title, and then all I had to do was hang out and enjoy the benefits. He and Gamma Lance always took care of everything.”
“That was never strange to you?” I asked.
“It was at first, but then I got used to it, you know? I know I was a jerk about it when Alpha Brandon died, but I just wanted to keep being comfortable.” Hugh had the decency to drop his eyes to the floor.
“I needed your help,” I replied quietly.
“I’m sorry. I know I haven’t treated you with the respect you deserve. I do see how hard you work, Luna. You always tried, even before the attack, but Alpha Brandon never treated you right. I should have said something, and I never did. I should have offered my support to you and I made myself a problem, instead. So, if you found someone now—if he makes you happy—I’ll keep your secret. You more than earned it after almost a decade of being miserable.”
“I—Thank you.”
I sat back in my chair, speechless. I thought I would have to negotiate or use my luna command to make him keep this to himself. I never expected this.
Hugh nodded, and after seeing that I had nothing to say, he stood and walked to the door. Before he shut it behind him, he turned and said, “I’ll try to be a better beta.”
I sighed when I was alone again. While his words meant something, I was beginning to feel like it was too little too late. I still had no clue how I would get out of this one.
I was putting away everything on my desk when I heard a knock on the door, and the final nail in the coffin for this shit day walked in.
“Luna, may I come in?” Lydia’s soft voice flowed into the room as she cracked the door open. She was the woman who ran the day care, and I tried to remember if I told her Adam wouldn’t be in today.
“Lydia! Come in! How can I help you?” I asked.
“I—” She wrung her hands and looked around the room nervously as she walked in, closing the door behind her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, already anticipating bad news.
“I-I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you for a few weeks now, and I’ve run out of time,” she answered quietly.
“Tell me what?”
“My sister just had another pup. She asked me to come help her by taking care of them. She gave birth yesterday and bought me a flight for two days from now.”
“How long will you be gone?” My heart sank when her eyes shifted away. “You’re joining her pack,” I guessed.
“I—She’s the last family I have left. I thought I might be able to find a mate there.”
“Will you be able to work tomorrow?”
“I could. I do need to pack, though. I left everything to the last minute.”
“Why don’t you meet me at the daycare in the morning so you can give over the keys, and show me where things are? I’ll try to find someone to take over.”
“Thank you, Luna. I’m so sorry. I should have told you earlier. I just-I didn’t want to put more burdens on you, but I made things worse.”
I sighed, not wanting to make her feel worse. It wouldn’t achieve anything. The damage was done.
“It’s okay, Lydia. I hope you find what you’re looking for there.”
I went and grabbed Adam from Violet and put him to bed, trying really hard not to fall on my knees and cry as I read to him. Today was too many blows at once.
I managed to keep things together until I reached my room, where I found Cade falling asleep on the couch. Cold plates of food and wine were on the coffee table, a candle was lit between the set up.
Cade shook his head to clear the sleep from his head when he heard the door shut and looked at his phone. I was late. I was late to the lovely dinner he set up for us. As I looked over the nicest gesture someone had done for me in a long time, I wondered if he would be mad I took so long.
He stood, and I braced for impact, but what he said was much more devastating than what I expected to happen.
“Hey, what’s wrong? You look like you’re on the verge of tears.”
His soft, concerned voice made the tears gather in my eyes quicker than I could blink them away. When he guided me toward the bed with a tender hand on my lower back, and then sat me on his lap, once again asking me what was wrong, the dam broke.
“Bells, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Talk to me, Princess. I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”
I tried, but I couldn’t get any words out. The tears just flowed. His arms encircled me, hugging me close to his chest. I felt the weight of everything crashing down on me, and I crumbled under its weight. I cried and cried, gasping for breath at times because it felt like I wasn’t getting any oxygen into my lungs as my body seized with sobs.
“Princess, you’re breaking my heart,” he whispered, his voice cracking. He laid me down on the bed and pulled the covers over us before he encircled me with his body. “Let it all out. I’m right here with you.”
I don’t know how long I cried before I finally ran out of tears. Cade continued to hold me in his arms without asking anything until I was able to talk about what happened. His embrace never wavered, though I thought the arm under my body must have gone numb hours later. He listened as I told him about my conversation with Lydia and Hugh.
After that, I started explaining some of the things that happened in the last year. It was all coming out as word vomit. The only thing I couldn’t do was talk about life with Brandon. I couldn’t open that can of worms yet. Opening up to Cory about it was hard enough, and even then, I couldn’t tell him everything. It would destroy my brother.
Once I was done processing what had happened to me when I entered the room, I began to realize that maybe Violet was right. I needed to speak with someone. Someone to listen and not judge. Maybe I would ask her to put me in touch with Dr. Campbell on her next appointment. Therapy was working wonders for her. She was so strong and becoming stronger every day. I would need to do that to keep dealing with all the hits life threw at me.
I fell asleep in Cade’s arms, feeling a bit more settled but still unsure of how I could fix everything. One thought stayed in my head as sleep claimed me: Maybe Cory was right. Maybe it was just time to go back home.