33. Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Three
Violet
W e walked down to the kitchen. It was so quiet after everyone left this morning. Only a few people were still here, packing to head to their new homes, and none of them lived in the pack house.
Bells was upstairs getting Adam ready for the zoo. She wanted to distract him after he spent the morning crying because Cade left. I had a feeling Bells needed the distraction, too. Whatever Cade said to her today when he left had her on the verge of tears.
We decided to make sandwiches to take into the living room, since we pretty much had the pack house to ourselves. Lindsay was able to switch her last classes to online courses so she left with Charles, despite both offering to stay with Bells until it was time for her to go home.
Only Beta Hugh, Bells, Adam, Chris and I were left in the pack house, as far as I knew. Chris and I agreed to help Bells pack all her stuff, and make sure there was nothing left to do before she handed over the keys. Mom and Dad felt better knowing we were driving back to Crescent Moon with her and Adam. The buyer she found was planning on demolishing all the buildings, and setting up some sort of bed and breakfast experience thing. I didn’t pay too much attention.
“Oh,” Martha’s voice came from behind us, and I tensed.
I loathed that woman. Regardless of what I told Bells about Chris’ actions being his own, that woman had no business giving her opinion on my relationship. I thought she’d left days before Cade, though.
“Hello,” I answered, not bothering to hide the icy tone from my voice.
“I can come back later,” she said.
“You do that,” I answered.
“Well, it seems your manners are already devolving,” she huffed, eyeing Chris, who was doing his best to ignore her while he cut up some cantaloupe to go with our lunch.
“Martha, what the hell are you doing here? I thought you were leaving yesterday?” Bells said with distaste, entering the kitchen with Adam in her arms. He was still wearing Cade’s hat; holding onto it with one of his tiny hands to ensure it didn’t fall off his head.
“I figured since your family has a private jet, I could just leave with you.” Martha shrugged.
“You’re not going with us to Crescent Moon,” Bells and I said at the same time, not bothering to mention we weren’t even using the pack plane.
“Well, of course I am. We’re family,” she argued, waiving a hand dismissively.
“No. You’re not,” I answered firmly.
“I’m her mother-in-law,” she insisted.
“You’re her ex-mother-in-law. Your son is dead, thankfully. You’re not invited to Crescent Moon,” I informed her.
“Rose said anyone from the pack was welcome.”
“One, her name is Bells or rather, Luna Bellarose to you,” I said, showing her my index finger up and pointing to it, wishing it was the middle finger instead. “And two, I don’t care if Bells invited you. I’m disinviting you.”
“You can’t do that. Only the Alpha—”
“Oh, you mean my older brother who loves me and calls me ‘Bug’?” I asked with a mocking, innocent smile before I let it drop. “All I have to do is tell him your views on pack members dating a member of the alpha family and that you made me cry, and not only will you not be welcomed at Crescent Moon, but every pack that’s allied to ours will close their doors on your face. Do yourself a favor, Martha, go back to your sister’s pack and leave Bells the heck alone. You’ve done enough damage to her.”
“Well...” Speechless, Martha huffed and left, stomping down the hallway.
“Wow, Vi. I didn’t know you could be that petty. Using the ‘I’m the little sister to the alpha’ thing to get what you wanted. I love it.” Bells grinned. “We’ll be back later.”
Bells left and before I could do much else, Chris swept me into his arms. I grabbed the plate with a few sandwiches, and he hurried up the stairs.
“You’re so hot when you’re angry,” he panted, as he put me down by the bed. He took the plate I was still holding and placed it on top of the dresser before pulling me into his arms and kissing me hard. Before I could wrap my arms around him, he pulled back and corrected, “When you’re angry at someone else.”
I giggled and pulled his shirt over his head. I loved the feel of his chest hair against my skin as I leaned in and kissed one of his pecks. When I felt the muscle flex underneath my lips, I began placing kisses everywhere on his torso, finally closing my lips around his nipple, and making him groan.
We’d been working on my triggers, but every time I panicked, it took me a few tries to convince him to try again. He kept saying he didn’t want to push so quickly after one of my freak outs, but I was trying to do some exposure therapy here. That meant lots of kisses, lots of touching, lots of everything. I wasn’t complaining, even though some days I felt very emotionally tired by the time we were done.
Over the last week, I’d gotten more comfortable getting naked and giving each other pleasure. I just needed that last bit. The biggest bit and after all the bold moves I made today, I felt like today was going to be my day.
Chris pulled my shirt off, and the way his hungry eyes devoured my chest was making me wet. His hands tenderly held my breasts as I removed my bra and had me letting out a little whimper of need. He’d been getting good at figuring out my whimpers, too. Which ones were due to me getting scared so he could back off, and which ones were filled with need, encouraging him to keep going.
The moment he heard my whimper, he picked me up by the waist until my breast was eye level with him and took one needy globe into his mouth. He lowered us down to the bed and crawled on top of me, kissing me on the lips again.
“Don’t stop,” I panted as he rubbed his hard-on against my leg, and kissed down my neck.
After coming several times by his fingers, I wanted the real deal. I wanted him. All of him. But, I was scared and it kept getting in the way. He kissed down my body until he got to the waistband of my jeans. At a nod from me, he unbuttoned and lowered my jeans after I raised my body a little so he could shimmy them down easily. He stood quickly and removed his jeans, his boxer briefs straining from the erection pressing against it, begging to be freed.
I licked my lips. Chris let me explore his body the other day, and I couldn’t wait to do it again. The feminine power I felt whenever I could make him moan, curse or whisper my name, as if he was praying to me, was something I never knew I had. I loved making him feel good after all the orgasms he’d given me without asking for anything in return, and I wanted to do it over and over for him.
He crawled back into bed, nestling himself between my legs, his head above the only piece of cloth left on my body.
“Still good?” he asked, looking as if his life was hanging in the balance waiting for my answer.
“So good. I want this,” I assured him.
He inhaled deeply, groaning as if it pained him to smell my arousal so close to his nose. His eyes closed, and he rested his head on my hip, giving it a small kiss. After a few moments, where it felt like he was trying to calm himself, he hooked his fingers on the waistband of my panties and lowered them slowly, watching my reaction like a hawk. My heart was running a mile a minute as he looked at me in silence once they were off.
He said nothing as he looked from my face down to my breasts, my stomach and all the way down to my core. Chris crawled back a bit and my heart sank for a moment until he picked up my foot and kissed the top of my foot.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered reverently, as he continued to kiss each toe on one foot and then the other. He left a trail of little kisses all the way up to my mouth, where he kissed me deeply as he pressed his body against mine. His heat was searing into my skin, and I moaned as I felt his still-clothed erection against my thigh.
When we came back up for air, he kissed all the way down my body to my core once more. He paused there, looking up at my face before he opened my folds gently with one hand, and kissed my already sensitive clit.
“Oh,” I exhaled lowly as his lips surrounded the little bud, his tongue flicking it slowly. My head fell back, and I surrendered to the sensations he was making me feel.
It felt like time was pausing just for us. He took his time, using his tongue and lips to bring me pleasure, slowly picking up speed. His eyes never left my face, I could feel him watching my reactions to everything he did. Any time he sped up, any time he added something new. It felt like an eternity, and only seconds at the same time, before my body fell over the crest of an orgasm. He growled lowly as my release started spilling from my core, and I felt the tentative way his tongue brushed against the entrance, trying to taste without breaching the one part of my body I hadn’t been able to bear to have touched.
“Do you want to keep going, Little Warrior?” he asked, his voice strangled with restraint.
“Goddess, yes,” I answered.
His lips went back to work on my clit, but I tensed when I felt his finger start circling my core. I tried to relax, to focus on the pleasure his mouth was bringing me, but when I felt one of his fingers press against the opening, I snapped.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. Please wait,” I started sobbing.
Frustration, anger and fear flushed every good feeling from my body. His fingers and mouth disappeared from my center, and then he was gathering me in his arms. I buried my head in his chest and cried.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Violet, look at me,” he ordered. His fingers were combing through my hair and his other hand was rubbing soothing circles on my lower back. “Violet, please look at me,” he begged.
“It’s not fair,” I cried. “It’s not fair that I’m so scared.”
“Nothing about what happened to you was fair, baby. Please look at me,” he requested. I sniffled and looked up at him. “I love you. We don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or afraid. I’m not going anywhere. We told your parents. We told mine. We told our alpha. We’re happening, Little Warrior. You take all the time you need because we have the rest of our life.”
“But I want this,” I replied stubbornly even after his words lifted my spirit to the heavens. “I want you. I-I’m just scared it—” I stopped, closing my eyes and resting my head on his chest. “I-I’m scared it will hurt,” I admitted. “I knew the first time was going to hurt, but it—” I swallowed, forcing myself to talk about it, because it would be the only way I could explain what was holding me back.
Chris wasn’t triggering me. Everything he did only showed me how much he loved me. My body, my brain and my heart knew that. This was all fear now.
“It hurt every time with the o-other men. P-people told me the first time would hurt but that after it s-stops hurting, but it h-hurt every—every time. I’m scared it will hurt with you, too, and that I’m not normal. That I’ll never be able to have sex because something is wrong with me, and not related to what they did to me. It happens sometimes. I googled it,” I finished lamely.
“Violet,” Chris finally spoke. I looked up at him. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and wiped the tears off my face. “When those men touched you, it was against your will. When they forced themselves on you without your consent, your body wasn’t prepared or willing. It hurt because they didn’t care about anything but their own pleasure.” He grabbed my hand and guided it to my wet core. “You feel this? This is your body preparing for me.” He released my hand and his finger found my clit, providing the smallest of pressure against it. “This is me helping your body prepare to take me, so it won’t hurt. You’re normal, Violet. Your body feels pleasure, and I would never do anything that hurt you.”
“But if—”
“If it hurts, I stop. Always. No exceptions. If it always hurts, we would still be okay. I love you because of what’s here.” He brought his hand and placed it over my heart.
I sobbed and buried my head in his neck. His strong arms wrapped around me and he leaned back so I was lying on top of him. It took me a minute to calm down, but when I was done I felt so grateful to have found him. No matter what happened, no matter how terrible the situation felt with me, he was still willing to do whatever it took to put me first.
“I love you,” I whispered, kissing his neck.
I felt his softening erection against my leg twitch and begin to harden again, and I kissed his neck again. I pulled back a little, letting my leg rub against it, making him let out a small choked groan I knew he was trying to keep from escaping.
“I love you,” I said again when I could make eye contact with him.
I leaned down and kissed him, plunging my tongue into his mouth instead of waiting for him to do it. My wonderful mate tensed his arms, unsure of what to do, but let me lead until he slowly relaxed as I continued to rub against his erection. I pulled back from my kiss a little bit later, panting.
“I want to try again,” I told him, determination filling every pore in my body.
“We don’—”
“I know,” I interrupted him. “I know we don’t. I know you’ll wait no matter how long it takes, but I want to try again.”
Chris pushed up to kiss me, his arms circling my body like they did when he was going to flip us over, but then he stopped and fell back on the bed, a slow, sexy smile appearing on his face as he looked up at me.
“What?” I asked, curious and turned on by the look he was giving me.
I felt him lift his lower body and I placed my hand on his chest to stabilize myself, wondering why he did that until I felt him shimmying his hips. I looked behind me and my eyes widened as I watched him kicking off his boxers shorts. My core tightened in anticipation as I looked at his erection for the second time.
“I-I think this will work,” he told me, bringing my eyes back to his.
“What will work?” I asked, confused.
He picked me up and set me down slowly a little further down, his erection nestling between my folds, making us both moan at the pressure the contact provided us.
“You control everything this way, Little Warrior. Take me into your body when you’re ready, if you feel comfortable and at the pace you need. My body is yours, Violet, like my heart. Use me how you see fit.”
My eyes widened and teared up as I processed his words. I took a stabilizing breath and rocked experimentally back and forth on his cock, whimpering as pleasure rocked my body and wetness dripped from my core, coating his heated cock. His hands bunched the sheets, eyes rolling to the back of his head.
His reactions spurred me on, giving me the encouragement I needed to do it again. I continued to rock back and forth on his hard cock, becoming more confident in my movements until I thought I was going to die if I didn’t feel more. His groans and moans were driving me insane with need, the fact that he wasn’t touching me was torture.
When I thought I was ready, I tried to push back onto his cock, but it never slid in. I was doing something wrong and I was getting frustrated.
I should have read some of Mom’s dirty romance books.
“Chris,” I whimpered, stopping my movements.
“I’m here. Do you want to stop?”
I shook my head very quickly. If we stopped I would die.
“Help me,” I pleaded.
“What do you need me to do, my love?”
“H-how do I do this? How do I take you inside me?” I asked.
I’d felt the tip of his cock so close to the entrance a few times, but it would keep sliding forward instead of in.
“Lift up a little,” Chris instructed.
I did, placing my hands on his chest to steady myself. He reached between us, his eyes searching mine as he lined the tip of his cock to my entrance.
“When you’re ready, start lowering down on me. Go slow, so it doesn’t hurt.”
I felt a little silly, needing instructions on how to have sex. But, if he thought my questions were silly, too, my man didn’t show it. All I saw was pleasure and pride on his face, as I started lowering myself on him while he held his cock steady for me.
The first inch stretched me, and I stopped.
Chris wasn’t moving. I wasn’t even sure he was breathing as he waited for me. I took a few deep breaths, and when the stretching didn’t hurt like I thought it would, I lowered myself little by little until he was fully seated inside me.
“Ju-Just like before. If it feels good, rock back and forth until you find a rhythm you like,” he managed to instruct, even though he appeared to be having trouble swallowing.
I did an experimental wiggle, trying to put a word to how it felt to feel him sliding inside me. I couldn’t. It felt too good for words, and by the strangled noise ripped out of the love of my life, I could tell it felt good for him, too. I rocked again, letting his cock slide out a little further each time I did, experimenting and moaning when I felt the tip hitting a spot just right that made me gasp.
“Fuck, Violet. You’re noises are killing me. Does it feel good, Little Warrior?” he cooed, his knuckles white from his restraint.
I whimpered and nodded, trying to change the way I was moving. I leaned down a little, my hands resting on his chest. I lifted up and sank back down on him, causing him to throw his head back, and moan loudly when I did it again.
“Touch me,” I begged him.
“Where do you want me to touch you?” he asked.
“Everywhere. I need your hands on me. I need—” I panted, trying to figure out exactly what I needed. “I need you to take over. Make me cum, Chris. I wanted to feel you making love to me. Your way.”
He sat up, growling his approval. I almost fell back, but as usual, my love had me. I never had to fear anything as long as he was near me. He steadied me before he pulled me to his chest and kissed me. He ripped his lips from mine as he placed his hands on my ass, and started lifting me and letting me sink back down on his cock. I let my head fall back when he hit that spot inside me again, and he latched onto my throat, leaving tiny little bites everywhere, before he dipped his head a little further down and pulled my nipple into his mouth. I detonated like a firecracker with a silent cry.
“Goddess, Violet,” Chris groaned, pushing my body down onto his cock one more time as he buried his face in my neck, and I felt the rush of his hot cum filling me up.
He lowered himself back to the bed, keeping me wrapped in his arms as if I was the most precious thing to him. I snuggled closer, feeling like the happiest person in the world.
“You’re fucking perfect, Little Warrior,” he whispered, after a few minutes of silence as our bodies calmed. “Thank you for choosing me.”
“I will choose you every day until the day I die,” I assured him. I looked up at him, happy tears coming to my eyes. “Thank you for being so patient. Thank you for choosing me back.”
We cuddled for a while and then I asked, “Can we do it again soon?”
“If I ever say no to that question, shoot me because someone took over my body,” he chuckled. “First we should eat, though.”
I was about to protest, but at the mention of food, both of our stomachs growled. I looked at the warm sandwiches on the counter and realized that would do nothing to fill us up.
“How about I cook some real food for us downstairs?” I suggested.
“I’ll help. Come on, let’s get cleaned up.”
I rolled to the side so I could land on the bed. Before I could get up though, Chris rolled over on top of me. He kissed me properly, using his whole body to tell me how he felt, and making me forget I was hungry. He pulled back, the heat in his eyes getting me ready for another round instantly, but he stood, lifted me into his arms and carried me into the bathroom.