ELEVEN
Charlotte
Noah’s admission filled the room, taking up all the air so there was none left.
It destroyed any filter I might have had and made me ramble. “I came over today, hoping you’d be here. I was going to try to get you to kiss me.” I felt wildly out of control. “To ask you to do things to me.”
His eyes widened.
I’d expected my words to make him retreat—but instead he closed the last of the space between us so he was only a breath away. Close enough it would be easy for me to curl my fingers in his hair and yank him down into my kiss.
I clenched my fists to stop myself.
“We can’t.” His voice was firm, but everything else was in total contradiction, from his proximity to his lidded eyes.
“No, we can’t,” I agreed, my words as hollow as his.
God, the way he looked at me, it sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine. He stared at my lips as if he were searching for all the reasons he shouldn’t kiss me and was struggling to come up with a single one.
“Where the fuck does that leave us, then?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. Noah wasn’t just my father’s employee—he was kind of my boss too. I needed his money, and I needed his place to generate content.
“Friends?” I offered, although it was completely inadequate. How the fuck could we be friends?
His eyebrow arched and his expression turned dubious. It announced he had the same concern.
“I could be a friend,” my pulse sent blood thundering through my veins, “who watches you fuck other people.”
Shock caused him to suck in a sharp breath and his shoulders straightened. “Is that what you want?”
Part of me thought this would be a consolation prize. Since I couldn’t have him, this would be the next best thing. But the other part of me wondered if I was settling at all... or if I was getting a better deal than I realized.
I’d had sex before, but watching someone else do it was new and exciting.
What if the next time I watched him it was even hotter?
Just the thought made the throb between my legs return.
He’d asked if I wanted that, and it came from me in a whisper. “I wouldn’t mind seeing a little more.”
He didn’t blink as he considered my statement, but his chest rose and fell with a heavy breath. There was restraint in him, like he was trying his damnedest not to show how much he liked this idea.
“All right.” His voice matched my low tone. “I could do that for you, friend .”
Then, his gaze worked its way over me, evaluating every inch. He noticed my flushed cheeks and the hurried way my chest moved from my short breaths, and whatever he was thinking about, it didn’t take him long to come to a decision.
The brown of his irises seemed to darken like a storm gathering strength, and I was so distracted by it, I didn’t notice when his hands settled on my waist. It wasn’t until we were moving, him urging me back toward the island, that I became aware.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Noah’s expression was cryptic. “Helping a friend.”
He had me pinned then, and the edge of the countertop kissed the small of my back. The coolness of the stone seeped through my shirt, in stark contrast to his warm hands. It made it difficult to think. “What?”
One of his hands slid down, gliding over my hip and thigh. The caress was gentle but sexual, and my body hummed with excitement. It didn’t give a fuck about who he was or the consequences of letting him touch me like this. I’d been on a knife’s edge watching him with her, and the conversation afterward had done nothing to help.
Noah tilted his head down, bringing his lips so close to mine, it was a cruel tease. “If you’re going to be the kind of friend who watches me fuck someone else,” I could feel the warm brush of air against my skin as he spoke, “then I’m going to be the kind of friend who wouldn’t leave you hanging after.”
How the hell did he expect my brain to function when he had his hands on me? I uttered the only word I could remember. “What?”
“You got so worked up watching, you put your hand here, didn’t you?” The hand he’d rested on my thigh moved, sliding over the thin fabric of my leggings until it was nestled between my legs and cupping me.
I let out an excited sound of surprise, one that was tinged with need.
Thank God his question was rhetorical because my voice abandoned me. He sensed it, because a wicked smile curled at the ends of his lips.
“It wasn’t enough, though, was it?” he asked. “You didn’t get to come.”
I pressed my lips together and gave the slightest shake of my head. Why did it seem like my answer pleased him?
Because he wants to be the one to do it.
When his hand moved, grinding against my needy clit, it pulled a whiny moan from the depths of my body. My hands curled around the edge of the cold countertop, holding on against the onslaught of pleasure.
“I know I shouldn’t be doing this,” he said, although it sounded like a lie. His fingers dragged across the center seam of my leggings. “Do you want me to stop?”
Once again, I shook my head, and that pleased expression that made him look so damn sexy flashed across his face.
“Take off your pants,” he commanded, “so I can give you what you need.”
All the air swept out of my lungs.
He was so different from the last time we’d been together. He’d been putting on a front before, hiding his true self so his aggression didn’t scare me away. But now I’d seen behind the curtain, and I was grateful. Because this dominant version of Noah?
It was incendiary.
I didn’t know how I was able to move because the excitement radiating inside my core made me shake, but I kept my gaze fixed on him and slipped my hands beneath the tight waistband of my leggings. He stepped back, giving me space to bend at the waist and slowly peel the clinging fabric down.
Every new, bare inch of skin I exposed to him made my pulse climb higher.
He watched me with a discerning eye, like I was a student demonstrating something newly learned for an instructor. I tugged the fabric free from one ankle and then the other, discarding my pants in a wad on the tile floor I’d planned to mop later.
When I straightened, I was naked from the waist down, and I bit my bottom lip as Noah’s gaze focused on the bare cleft between my legs. I wasn’t overly bashful about my body, but we were in his kitchen, where bright afternoon sunlight seemed to stream in from every window.
What if his neighbors saw?
Wouldn’t you like it if they did?
Heat burned in his eyes as his gaze rose to meet mine, and the intensity of it was so hot, I licked my dry lips, feeling parched. He moved abruptly, sliding his hands under my arms, and lifted until he had me seated on the countertop.
I gasped at the cold stone against my bare skin, but it didn’t slow him down. His hands snaked under my shirt and tugged it up. I had to raise my arms to let him pull it over my head, and I held in the sigh of satisfaction I wanted to make. There was something I loved about being undressed by a guy.
With my shirt gone, all that was left was my white bralette. It was simple, but skimpy, and I’d chosen it this afternoon hoping I’d get an opportunity to show it to him. He moved to stand between my parted legs, and when his hand gripped my breast through my bra, I arched into his touch.
My skin was hot everywhere except where it touched stone, and my vision hazed with lust. I was no longer in control of my body—maybe I’d handed command over to him. And he wanted complete control, because when I reached to pull him into a kiss, he stepped back to prevent it.
“Lie down,” he ordered. “On your back.”
I pushed out a shallow breath.
The island wasn’t small, and the countertop was empty, so there was enough room for me to do it, but... holy shit. I’d never fooled around out in the open like this, and my pulse roared like a runaway train.
He stood beside the counter, waiting for me to comply, wearing all his clothes and an impatient look. It was as if my failure to move had put us behind his schedule. God, it was seriously hot, and I was eager to please, so I pulled my legs up and turned to the side, making it easy to lie back.
The cold countertop pressed against my bare skin, causing me to release a quiet hiss, but Noah didn’t let it distract him from his mission. He loomed at the edge of the island, his gaze sweeping over me as if assessing where he’d like to start.
Lying like this, basically on a table for him, was strange, and I wasn’t sure where to put my hands. Resting them folded across my stomach would be awkward. Should I try to touch him?
Would he even allow it?
I didn’t get to find out.
He grabbed the bottom hem of my bra and began to drag the fabric up, forcing me once again to lift my arms, only he stopped once he’d reached my elbows. My arms, wrapped in the bunched bralette, were pressed over my head. The counter wasn’t long enough, so my hands dangled over the end, but he pinned my elbows to the stone with his hand on the bra.
“Stay just like that.”
His tone was so stern, so fucking sexy, I let out a tiny whimper of excitement in response. That sound did not go unnoticed by him, and his gaze heated to an inferno as it swept from left to right along the length of my nude body.
I could only imagine what I looked like to him with my hands and feet hanging over the sides of his kitchen island. I was on display for him, completely under his spell, and the idea of it only turned me on more. I was wet— so fucking wet —and he’d discover it the moment he touched me, if he didn’t know already.
I trembled with anticipation when he placed his palm on my knee. He didn’t move it for a long moment. He drew in a deep breath, perhaps needing to gather strength for what he was about to do. But it was just as likely he was simply teasing me.
The tension winding inside my center was delicious.
Up his hand inched, sliding along the inside of my thigh and subtly urging my legs to part. And then his other hand skimmed across my chest, caressing my hardened nipples.
“Fuck,” I groaned under my breath when his fingertips brushed against my damp, sensitive skin at the center of my legs. His gentle touch was a jolt of electricity, jump starting the stalled orgasm that had lingered in my system, bringing it roaring back to life.
His hand stroking over my upper body wandered everywhere, but the one between my legs didn’t stray. He used the pad of his index finger to brush lines over my clit, and the pleasure was so intense, it bolted down my legs like lightning. The sensation caused me to jerk my knees up and find footing at the edge of the counter.
“I’m going to come so fast,” I blurted.
He loomed over me with a satisfied smile. “Because you liked watching me.”
“Yes,” I breathed.
His left hand pinched one of my nipples and gently tugged, while his right hand ground a tight circle against my pussy. “Which part, exactly?”
The heat and the pleasure were too much to think over. “When she came all over your cock.”
My words surprised him, and he rewarded me with a dazzling grin. But then he feigned disapproval. “You’ve got a filthy mouth, Charlotte.”
His left hand glided up my neck so he could push two fingers past my lips, filling my mouth and silencing my tongue. It muffled my moan he had created when he eased the first two fingers of his right hand deep inside me. I jerked, and I almost reached for him, but I caught myself just in time.
I didn’t want this to stop, and he’d told me to stay still. I was desperate to be good for him.
As I assumed he wanted, I closed my lips around the fingers in my mouth and sucked, simulating what I’d do if he wanted to put his cock there instead.
But he didn’t.
He pulsed those fingers in time with the fingers between my legs, fucking my mouth and my pussy at a slow, steady pace.
I squirmed and panted through my nose at how good it felt, all the while studying the determined, focused look etched on his handsome face. My hands that dangled over the side of the counter clenched into fists and then splayed out, and I laced my fingers together so I had something to hold on to.
Noah had put the fingers in my mouth for a reason... and it wasn’t to keep me quiet. He withdrew his hand, his fingers glistening with my saliva, and trailed them down to join his other hand.
His wet fingertips pressed to my clit, causing me to flinch and arch, and I gasped with satisfaction. He drove his fingers deep inside me, ramping up the tempo and changing angles with each thrust. I knew what he was doing, how he was searching for the spot I liked best, but it all felt so amazing, did it even matter?
God, I was going to lose my mind.
In and out he thrust his fingers, all the while manipulating my clit with his other hand. My propped-up knees shook. My breath came and went in heaving gulps. My heart pounded so furiously, it threatened to break free from my chest.
The whole thing was fucking intense.
Easily the most erotic thing I’d ever done, and for a single heartbeat, I was mad at him for hiding this version of him the last time we’d hooked up. But how could I be upset with him now?
The orgasm rushed at me, surging like an electric current. My moan swelled to a gasp as the pleasure built, and built, and built ...
“Oh, fuck,” I groaned. Heat burst inside my center, traveling through my body in waves of ecstasy as I came. This time when I bucked against the counter, I couldn’t control myself. I pulled my arms down, stretching the bra between my elbows and letting the fabric cover my face.
Not that I could see, anyway. The power of the orgasm had my eyes screwed shut.
Noah’s fingers halted, both the ones inside and out, but the connection remained. My body clenched down, squeezing against his fingers and giving me aftershocks of pleasure.
He pushed out a loud, heavy breath that was laced with satisfaction.
When my twitching body lowered back to the granite countertop, and the orgasm’s grip on me receded, he finally withdrew. His hands rested gently against my heated skin, one on the flat of my stomach, and the other across my thigh.
As soon as the blood stopped rushing in my ears, I worked to free myself from the bra, letting it fall to the floor. I moved as fast as my post-orgasm body would let me, sitting up and swiveling to face him.
I’d caught him off guard and his eyes went wide, and this time when I reached for him, he wasn’t fast enough to stop me. I threaded my hands through his soft hair and yanked his face to mine.
“Wait,” he said, and turned at the last second so I missed my target, my lips crashing against his cheek.
I caught my breath and pulled back to look at him. “What’s wrong?”
He grasped my wrists, freeing his head from my hold, and stepped back from the island. His breathing and voice were uneven. “Friends don’t kiss each other.”
Um . . . was he serious?
I narrowed my eyes. “They don’t finger fuck each other either.”
“That was a one-time thing.” His expression was stricken, full of confusion and doubt. Even he didn’t believe what he’d just said.
I struggled with the whiplash he’d given me and gaped up at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Fuck. I don’t know.” Once again, he combed a hand through his unruly hair, which only made him look more unsettled. “I wanted to help you.”
His statement hung awkwardly, like he’d left off the part he’d meant to say. I wanted to help you, friend-to-friend. Thirty seconds ago, he’d been confident and in control, and now he was acting like I’d shattered that by trying to kiss him.
Which was a normal response to what we’d just done. The warmth in my system disappeared in the blink of an eye, and I was painfully aware of the imbalance between us. He had all his clothes on, and I was stark fucking naked. The chill of it clung everywhere.
I slid down off the counter to stand on my shaky legs. “You didn’t have a problem kissing me last time.”
“I know,” he said softly. “And it’s not that I don’t want to. Believe me, I do.”
He’d said it before, but I still bristled, because saying that he wanted it and wouldn’t do it made me feel worse.
He sighed. “But things are different now. I shouldn’t have done that.”
That was what this was? Guilt?
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to tell my dad about it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He frowned, but I didn’t want to see it.
Instead, I picked up my discarded clothes, dropped them on the counter, and then got to work pulling my pants back on. I hated this pattern emerging with him, how he’d give me a mind-numbing orgasm, which was quickly followed by me getting dressed in frustration.
He sighed again, only this one was louder and filled with surrender. “I’m not allowed to kiss Shannon.”
My hands slowed as I tugged my bra down over my breasts, and anger grew a lump in my throat. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because when Patrick said I couldn’t kiss her, I didn’t care. I like kissing and all, but I wasn’t bothered by this rule. I don’t need to kiss her.” His eyes turned stormy. “But when I found out you’re Ardy’s daughter and I can’t kiss you anymore? I was fucking pissed, Charlotte.”
I turned to stare at the spot where I’d just lain naked on the counter for him. “I... I don’t understand.”
“I don’t either.” He said it begrudgingly, annoyed with himself. “I can compartmentalize a lot of things and keep my feelings out of it, but if I kiss you again? I don’t think we can stay friends.”
An invisible fist tightened in my chest.
“That can’t happen.” His expression was resigned. “We both know it won’t lead anywhere.”
Because I worked for him. Because my father was his boss. And because Noah was thirteen years older than me and didn’t have time for love. There was a mountain’s worth of reasons why we wouldn’t work.
But my stupid heart did not care.
It wanted him, regardless.
“We have to stay friends,” he said as he delivered a sad smile. “Hell, since I moved back, you’re one of the only friends I’ve got.”
He’d probably meant for it to sound like a joke, but I heard the truth buried in his words. The connection to him lashed tighter around me. I still had a few friends around from high school, but we were on different paths. They were all in college, in serious relationships or engaged, and had moved on with their lives. They weren’t stuck or floundering like I was.
Coming home had made him lonely, and no one understood that better than I did. The only time I hadn’t felt that same loneliness was when I’d been here at his house.
“Tell me I didn’t fuck this up,” he said quietly. “Tell me we can still be friends.”
My voice was unsteady. “Friends who watch each other fuck, but don’t kiss.”
His shoulders lifted with an enormous breath. Maybe he was thinking about what a terrible idea that’d be, but it was overruled because of how badly he wanted it. He peered at me with an intense look and slowly nodded.
My gaze dropped to the floor, and I stared at the tile, wanting to collapse on it and pout about how truly unfair this all was. But rather than throw a tantrum, I swallowed my disappointment and formed a plan.
I couldn’t have him now, but I could bide my time and convince him. I wanted this—and things usually worked out for me.
“Fine,” I announced, pressing out a tight smile. “I can do that.”