Chapter Twenty Kenny
CHAPTER TWENTY
KENNY
I was a heavy enough sleeper that I usually woke up last when people stayed over. I assumed today would be the same, but I opened my eyes to find my arms wrapped tightly around Han’s leg. Somehow I’d ended up lying upside down so we were feet to head, but that didn’t stop me from grabbing on to the first warm thing I could find: his calf, apparently.
Eyes still closed, I yawned and stretched out. I’d always been a restless sleeper, so I tended to wake up sore and still tired. Han, on the other hand, was usually up and doing things by the time I hit my first REM cycle.
“Hnngh.” Han let out a pained groan when my outstretched foot connected with his chin.
“Shit, sorry!” I quickly unraveled myself from clinging to his calf. He looked all stiff and uncomfortable, like he’d been holding his breath or something. “Did I wake you up? Are Leti and Tatiana still here?”
“Nah, I’ve been awake since, like, eight. And I heard them leave about an hour ago.” He laughed a little, rolling his stiff-looking shoulders. I glanced over at my phone on my nightstand to see it was already eleven.
“What are you still doing in bed?”
“My leg was your pillow.” He said it like it was no big deal. “Seemed like you weren’t sleeping well, so I didn’t wanna wake you up.”
“You’re sweet, but you know how heavy a sleeper I am. There’s no way moving me off your leg would have woken me up.” I laughed. Han knew how hard it could be to wake me, but he still refused to disturb my sleep if he didn’t have to.
“Anyway, you ready to go to Blaine and Zane’s wedding tonight?” Han asked as he sat up and stretched out with his back to the wall.
“Hell yeah,” I said, scooting next to him. “It’s the perfect opportunity to practice before the real deal.”
Han raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying I need practice?”
“Even a master must practice.” I may have said it in a joking tone, but it was true.
“Okay, Obi-Wan.”
I laughed. “Seriously, though! It’ll be easier to get used to acting all cute if we have more opportunities to be seen together in the wild. You know, show everyone how real and in love we can be!”
“Okay, but you know I’ve never been in a ‘real and in love’ relationship before, right?” Han looked at me with an expression I didn’t catch on him often. Was he shy? Maybe I just needed to make it simpler for him so he wasn’t second-guessing everything down to the body language.
“Want to make a checklist?” Han loved a well-thought-out plan.
“Okay, so what are some things real in-love couples do that we can do at the wedding?” he asked.
“Hmm, maybe we can do the chivalry thing? Like opening doors and pulling out chairs for each other?”
“Sounds good, but who would be the, uh, chivalr er ?” Han asked, and I couldn’t help but smile at the made-up word.
“Good point. The chivalry thing might be a little heteronormative,” I admitted, slumping my shoulders. I’d never had anyone open doors or pull chairs out for me , so I couldn’t lie and say it didn’t sound nice, even if we’d be doing it for show.
“What if we take turns?”
“Yes! That’s perfect!” I immediately perked back up. “Okay, what else do real in-love couples do?”
Han looked off into space and tapped his chin. “They eat off each other’s plates?”
“Definitely. We’ll have to be super annoying about feeding each other.”
Han laughed. “Okay, what else?”
“Oooh, we can introduce each other to strangers as ‘my fiancé ,’ all proud, then add a cute compliment. That way everyone thinks we adore each other.”
We continued for a while, brainstorming about things couples did on dates, which eventually turned into me reading off a list of romance tropes from Google.
“Oh my gosh, what about the doorstep kiss?” I asked, looking up from my phone to see Han’s reaction.
Han raised an eyebrow like he had no idea what I was talking about.
“You know, like when the couple goes home for the night, and person A walks person B up to their doorstep, but since it’s a new relationship, they don’t get invited inside. They say good night, but neither of them wants the date to be over yet, so they don’t move to leave until they finally lean in for a kiss! It’s a classic rom-com staple!”
“Ohh, you mean the romantic-comedy-new-relationship-good-night-doorstep-kiss?” Han asked like this was something he’d thought about enough to have that mouthful of a name for it.
“Exactly! It’s practically a rite of passage for a new relationship that’s headed in the right direction! The moment that kiss happens, the audience is convinced they’re endgame.”
“Guess that explains why I’ve never had one of those,” Han said thoughtfully. “I’ve never been convinced of a girl being endgame for me.”
“Wait, seriously? Haven’t you been on, like, a million dates? You never kissed someone good night?”
“You have to not get invited in for the doorstep kiss to happen. Guess that’s my problem.” Han snickered.
“Well, you have to experience the romance of a good night doorstep kiss—”
“A romantic-comedy-new-relationship- good-night-doorstep-kiss,” Han corrected.
“Okay, yes, that—at least once in your life! How else will the audience be convinced we’re endgame?”
Han stopped laughing and looked at me all confused. “What about the no-kissing rule?”
Shit, I’d almost forgotten about that. I did set the rule for a reason, so it was probably best to stick to it. “Right. Okay, we don’t have to do that one. It’s not like we’d have an audience anyway. We have plenty of material to work with here. I’m sure we’ll be completely convincing.”
Han nodded his understanding. “All right, let’s do it.”
When it came time to get ready, Han and I decided to rewear our outfits from the engagement party. Nice outfits didn’t come cheap, and Han and I weren’t exactly rich. We’d only been wearing them for a couple of hours anyway, and it wasn’t like anyone at our engagement party would be making an appearance at Blaine and Zane’s wedding. No one had to know we were outfit repeaters.
We ordered a rideshare so we’d be able to drink without worrying about driving. As soon as our ride showed up, I didn’t waste any time before playing up our romance to the fullest.
“Allow me,” I said to Han as I opened the car door for him.
“Thanks, babe.” Han didn’t hold back his smile as he climbed inside.
Once he was safely in the car, I shut the door, jogged over to the other side, and got in. The wedding venue was super close to our apartment, so it wasn’t long before we were outside the banquet hall. I reached to open the door, but Han leapt forward to stop me, grabbing my wrist before I could grab the handle.
“Allow me,” he said with a smooth smile. As soon as he let go of my wrist, he rushed to open his own door, then sprinted to my side of the car and opened mine. He held out his arm for me.
“I love you,” I said with a laugh as I took his arm and allowed him to help me out of the car.
We made our way to the entrance, noting the fancy welcome sign by the door.
CONGRATULATIONS ON OUR WEDDING
It’s Truly an Honor for You
don’t forget to tag your photos!
#ZBlaineSmithHyphenSmith
I jogged ahead to open the door for Han since it was my turn to chival, but the door turned out to be automatic. Instead of opening it, I gave Han a little bow and gestured for him to lead the way.
“After you,” I said, trying to sound charming.
Han smiled and held his arm out for me to take again, so we walked in arm in arm.
People mingled in the banquet hall, standing around in groups or sitting at tables, but no dancing just yet. Before we could find somewhere to sit, we were greeted by one of the grooms, Blaine himself.
“Kenny! Han! So glad you came.” He hugged and cheek-kissed us both.
“How could we miss the wedding of the incredible Mr. and Mr. Smith?” I said.
“Mr. and Mr. Smith hyphen Smith,” Blaine corrected.
“Cute ship name.” Han smiled. “Whose surname comes first?”
At first I thought Han was trolling, but he looked earnest enough, and Blaine’s answer implied he didn’t take it as a joke, either.
“Believe it or not, it’s mine! I know Zane wears the pants in the relationship, but using his name first would be too heteronormy. So, it had to be Smith -Smith, not Smith- Smith .”
“The correct choice, obviously,” I said, still unsure if he was joking. Maybe I’d have some context if I remembered who these guys were, but I had absolutely no idea.
“Seriously, though, we didn’t think you two would show up.” Blaine leaned in like his next words were top secret. “I know we’ve kind of been huge bitches to both of you in the past. But don’t worry. There’re no hard feelings anymore. Zane and I are totally over it, and we’re actually so happy you’re getting married, too!”
I glanced over at Han for any hint about how to respond. Who these guys were. Why they were “huge bitches” to us. Anything. But he didn’t say anything. Maybe this news caught him off guard just as much as it had me.
“Oh, we’re so glad to hear that,” I finally answered.
“No hard feelings,” Han added.
“Wonderful.” Blaine smiled brightly. “Now that we’re all friends again, let’s just let bygones be gone, byeeee !”
He waved goodbye with a broken-wristed waggle of his fingers, then walked away. It wasn’t until he was out of earshot that Han turned to me and spoke under his breath.
“Okay, confession: I have absolutely no idea who these guys are. Refresh my memory?”
“Me either!” I burst out cackling, throwing myself onto Han in laughter.
“How the hell do we know them?” Han asked in between laughing fits of his own.
“We may have to do some detective work.”
“Okay, let’s investigate.” Instead of sitting down and being antisocial like Han usually was at parties when he didn’t know anyone, he led the way to a cluster of strangers.
“Hi,” he said, awkwardly announcing his presence to a trio who shared a striking resemblance to each other, all being blond haired and blue eyed.
“Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met?” The woman waved politely. “We’re Zane’s cousins.”
“We haven’t!” I said, relieved we didn’t have to pretend to recognize them, too. “I’m Kenny, and this is my fiancé, Han.”
“Wait, no way. The Kenny and Han? You actually came?”
“Um, of course we came?” I said, trying not to let on how absolutely clueless we both were.
“Didn’t realize we were famous,” Han said. I hoped one of our new acquaintances would take the hint and tell us why we were famous, but they did no such thing.
“Not so famous that we know anything about you,” the woman said with an eager smile.
“Well, we must fix that,” I said, taking the opportunity to check something off our “things real in-love couples do” list by inserting a compliment. “Han’s pretty much the strongest guy I’ve ever met. He can bench-press both me and our newly adopted son.” They didn’t need to know that the son in question was a succulent.
“I might be able to lift, but Kenny could take me in a fight hands-down. He’s a black belt in Taekwondo!” Han said, playing along perfectly.
“Oh, please, all you’d have to do is flex before the kick and I’d break my foot!”
One of the guys started laughing. “You two are cute. I can see why Zane and Blaine were so jealous.”
Before I could make any sense of that , food started being served, so Han and I found our way to our table. I reached to pull out the chair for Han, but his hand landed on top of mine. We looked up at each other, holding the gaze just a bit longer than necessary.
“It’s my turn, right?” Han said, and I laughed and shook my head.
“The door was automatic! Still my turn.”
Han hesitated before allowing me to pull the chair out for him. Then we spent the next half hour or so being super obnoxious about feeding each other and eating off the other’s plates. The checklist didn’t stand a chance.
Soon enough, it was time for the bouquet toss. Han and I eagerly joined the masses behind Blaine, who held a beautiful bunch of red roses in one hand and a microphone in the other.
“According to gayncient legend, whoever catches the flower bougay will be the next to get married!”
He winked, then turned his back to us as the crowd counted down from five before Blaine tossed the roses over his shoulder.
It felt like the roses soared through the air in slow motion, gradually making their way right into my hands. If I caught the bouquet, that could pretty much replace the doorstep kiss as the thing that would convince the audience of our ship being endgame. I stretched my arms into the air, reaching for the bouquet until I could almost touch it.
I did touch it.
A single rose got caught between two of my fingers, while the rest of the bouquet bounced right off. I slumped my shoulders in defeat and turned behind me to face Han, only to find the bouquet in his hands.
Time was still slow as we stared at each other in disbelief and excitement. Han took my hand in his and carefully plucked the rose from between my fingers. He smiled shyly as he slid the stem behind my ear.
The crowd went wild, but I could still make out a few comments through the chaos.
“I heard they’re already engaged. Isn’t that so sweet?”
“How romantic!”
“Is that Kenny and Han? Zane’s gonna lose his shit.”
The cheering turned into chants for Han and me to kiss. He looked at me with wide eyes, and I knew he was worried about the no-kissing rule.
“We can pause the rule, just for tonight,” I said quietly enough for only his ears.
That was all the reassurance he needed before he cupped my cheeks in his hands and leaned forward, smiling as he pressed his forehead against mine. We stared at each other in anticipation for just a moment before we both went in for the kiss. The crowd cheered even louder as I wrapped my arms around Han.
The music started then, a slow, romantic song. Instead of pulling apart, Han put his hands on my hips and held me close as we swayed with the bouquet crushed between our chests. The smell of roses mixed with the music and the cheers all around was exhilarating.
Slow dancing with Han was like a warm hug. I felt safe holding him, content in the knowledge that neither of us would ever let the other fall.
It wasn’t until I heard our names from a familiar voice that I was pulled out of the moment, though I still didn’t dare leave Han’s embrace. It was Zane, and he sounded drunk, doing that talk-yell you do when you’re completely unaware of how high your volume is.
“Let the record state that ZBlaine Smith-Smith got married first! Who’s most likely to get married now, bitch? WE ARE!” He laughed and laughed, and his next words came out sounding less angry. “No, but seriously, I’m sooooo happy for them!”
Han must have heard, too, because he looked at me like he was trying his best not to crack up.
“I guess we went to high school together,” I said with a giggle. Apparently Jackie wasn’t the only one bitter about Han and me getting the vote for most likely to get married our senior year. Good for them for beating us to the punch.
“Mystery solved.” Han laughed.
“Maybe we should get out of here. Stop stealing their spotlight on their big night.”
Han’s smile faded into a pout. “One more song?” he asked.
It took me a minute to process the fact that Han wanted to slow dance with me. We’d already done everything on our checklist. There was no reason for us to stay. But…
“One more dance,” I agreed. Somehow, even though it made no sense, it made all the sense in the world.