The Broposal

Chapter Twenty-Five Han

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

HAN

A ll I could think about since last night was that Jackie was pregnant—so much so I hardly noticed the pain in my ankle and barely slept. I spent the entire night looking up all kinds of tutorials, from changing diapers to assembling a crib. If Kenny was going to be a dad, I knew I couldn’t let him do it alone. I actually surprised myself with how eager I was to help out. I thought I’d never wanted kids, but I wasn’t about to let Kenny go through this alone. I already felt fiercely protective of even the idea of Kenny’s future child. It was a big decision, but I knew the choice I had to make right in my gut.

I got up early to make breakfast so I could surprise Kenny with something nice to get his mind off everything—and to get my own mind off my foot and the immigration interview later in the day. I knew the impromptu drag show the night before helped a little, but that was just to make up for Kenny having missed the real thing. Even if breakfast wouldn’t get the interview off my mind, I could at least cheer Kenny up. It was going to be a long day, full of wedding planning and then the interview, and I wanted to start the day out right. Kenny loved when I cooked, but I didn’t do it that often anymore. My job revolved around cooking now, so I didn’t really like doing more work at home for no money. I’d make an exception for today, though. For Kenny.

I ordered ingredients from Instacart early enough that I could get started before Kenny woke up. I knew making chorizo chilaquiles on one foot would be a challenge, so I got up earlier than I normally would. I had my crutches to help me balance, but I needed to use my hands to make the chilaquiles, so I had to squeeze the crutches into my sides with my elbows and make the food like a T. rex. There was definitely a reason T. rexes didn’t cook.

After way too long of a struggle, I finally made a more than halfway decent meal. Luckily, Kenny came out of his room right as I was finishing up.

“You cooked?” Kenny’s face lit up with a smile as he sniffed the air like Luna. Mission accomplished.

“I did,” I said as I struggled to reach for the plates without dropping my crutches. One of the crutches fell to the ground anyway, but I finished getting a couple of plates down from the cabinet before picking it up. Before I could bend to get it, Kenny was at my side, grabbing the crutch for me. He smiled wide as he handed it back.

“Thank you, Han. It smells so good.”

“Thanks.” I took the crutch, and Kenny grabbed the plates from out of my hands.

“I’ll do the serving,” Kenny said with a teasing grin. I didn’t protest since it would have been really rough trying to serve breakfast with my T. rex arms. I moved to sit at the table, and Kenny pulled my chair out for me so I wouldn’t have to do it myself. He set two plates full of chilaquiles down, and a smile crept onto my lips. When I caught Kenny’s eyes, a blush came over his face before he sat down in his own chair.

I held my breath as he took his first bite. The hell was I so nervous for?

“Sooo good,” Kenny said through a mouthful of chilaquiles as he closed his eyes and relaxed his body. I knew I was a good cook, but I still felt a swell of pride at the compliment.

When Kenny was about halfway done with his food, his eyes trailed from his plate off to the distance, staring at nothing.

“You okay, bro?” I asked before I remembered how mad the “bro” thing made Kenny the night before. “Um, I mean, you okay… pal?”

Kenny’s nose scrunched up like he’d eaten something bitter. “Ew. Not pal .”

“Noted. But you didn’t answer the question.”

“I guess I’m just not really hungry anymore.” Kenny got up and took his half-eaten plate to the kitchen sink. My shoulders sank in defeat. I couldn’t even get his mind off things for one meal. I really couldn’t blame him. The dude had a baby on the way. A baby with the most selfish she-devil I had ever met. I wasn’t sure how we would make it work. If we were going through with the wedding, we definitely needed a plan.

“Hey, I’m here for you. You know that, right?” I said, making sure to hold my tongue at the end of the sentence as I watched him clean the plates. The thought of helping with a baby scared the shit out of me, but if we were getting married, even if it was fake, I was going to do everything I could to ease Kenny’s load. That was how I could begin to pay him back the impossible debt I owed.

“Yeah, I know, Han,” Kenny said, giving me a forced smile.

“No, really, I’ll help. Whatever I can do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, help take care of the baby… buy diapers and shit, whatever I can.”

“Han…” Kenny started, but I wasn’t done.

“We’ll fight for custody if we have to. Maybe we can even do this without Jackie in the picture. We can have a small wedding, something at your parents’ house. That way we can use the money for baby stuff,” I suggested. “Like I said, we can get custody. Me and you.”

“I thought you didn’t want kids,” Kenny said, eyes all misty, “because of your mom…” The mention of my mom made my stomach sink. I’d gone out of my way to avoid thinking about her since my last conversation with my dad. I went to the kitchen with one crutch under my arm and put my free arm on Kenny’s shoulder. To support me, but also to support him.

“Listen, I’m not my mom,” I admitted, for the first time, to myself and to him. It was true. I was my own person, and I knew what not to do because of my mom. “I’m serious. I’m helping.” I made sure to look Kenny in the eye as I said it. He slipped his arms under mine in a hug, knocking the crutch to the floor again. It was okay, though, because Kenny supported my weight so I wouldn’t fall.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Kenny mumbled.

“We’ll figure it out,” I said, and Kenny pulled away, wiping his eyes before picking the crutch up off the floor. Unlike me, Kenny wasn’t one to hide his emotions. When he wanted to cry, he just cried. I actually kind of admired that about him. I was jealous, even. I had no trouble crying during Disney movies or Kleenex commercials, but in real life? I was useless when it came to emotional maturity in front of other people. Kenny, on the other hand, was still openly crying. I wanted to drop everything and pull him into another hug, but instead I awkwardly patted him on the back. “Love you, bro.”

“Shut up .”

Early on, Kenny’s mom had insisted on helping with the wedding planning, which was good, because it meant Kenny and I didn’t have to do it all ourselves—and we had someone who actually knew what she was doing. On the ride to meet Kenny’s mom at what she insisted was “the best bakery in New Mexico” for the cake-tasting appointment (which I was stoked about since I wouldn’t have to cook), Kenny quizzed me on some questions we would probably be asked at the immigration office to prove the marriage wasn’t fraudulent. This would be a piece of cake (heh) because all the answers were either the truth or half-truths, since Kenny and I already lived our lives similarly to how a married couple might. I didn’t have to think twice about how we met (elementary school) or our dog’s name (Luna) and who fed her (me).

When we got to the bakery, his mom was already sitting inside waiting for us. Kenny held the door open for me so I could get through on my crutches, and we made our way over to sit with Elisa.

“I know Han is injured right now, so I already got all the logistics taken care of with the baker! All you two need to do is pick a cake and frosting,” she said with a huge grin on her face.

I frowned. I had wanted to talk with her before she gave wedding details to the baker, since everything was about to change. “We’ve been talking a lot, and we decided to have a small ceremony instead,” I said, avoiding the bit about the baby, in case Kenny wasn’t ready to have that talk yet. His parents probably hadn’t seen Jackie’s Insta-sound, since they weren’t online, but I had to just hope no one had blabbed to them. It was still possible Jackie would get an abortion, and if she did that, we wouldn’t have to tell anyone who didn’t already see the post. Including the USCIS officer at the immigration office. I held out hope for that, knowing a baby might complicate the whole green card thing.

“What? Why?” Elisa’s eyes were wide, and she looked absolutely horrified. Based on her reaction, I guessed no one had told her about the baby. But of course she was disappointed. She had been looking forward to a huge party.

“We’d rather save the money,” Kenny said, refusing to meet his mother’s eyes.

Elisa leaned forward, as if getting ready to tell a secret. “We were going to wait to tell you until everyone came over for Thanksgiving on Thursday, but we would love to pay for it! So don’t you worry about money, all right? We want you to get to have the wedding of your dreams.”

“Mami, you don’t have to—” I started, but Elisa shushed me by practically shoving a piece of cake into my mouth.

“It’s the least we can do, really. We’re happy to do it!”

A lump formed in my throat as I swallowed the cake and tried to let that sink in. I didn’t know if I’d be able to forgive myself for lying to Kenny’s parents if they did this for us. It was one thing when we were paying for our own wedding, but how could I ask them to pay for something that wasn’t even real? It all just felt so much more wrong now. Kenny looked at me with a huge grin on his face, but I couldn’t give him one back. I just felt tense. And sick. How could I let Elisa and Cedric pay for this? How could I ever make it up to them if they did? And would they ever forgive me if they found out it was all fake?

I couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the conversation, and I had a hard time enjoying the tasting while Elisa and Kenny got to work picking out a venue and got started on the guest list. I could barely hear them. All I could think was how I was betraying their trust in a way I could never make up for. But no matter how guilty that made me feel, I couldn’t bring myself to speak. Kenny seemed perfectly fine with this arrangement, but I could hardly breathe.

I finally came out of my haze when Kenny kissed my cheek.

“Ready, babe?”

I shook my head to get my foggy brain to focus. “For what?”

“We have to go to the immigration office, remember? It’s almost time for our appointment.”

Shit. How long had I been out of it? If Kenny was the one bringing it up, we had to be running late. I pulled out my phone to check the time. To my surprise, we still had plenty of time. I sighed in relief and nodded, glad Kenny was taking this seriously enough to break his late streak. “Yeah, let’s go. Bye, Mami, love you,” I said as I kissed her cheek, and we headed out.

Surprisingly enough, we didn’t have to sit in the waiting room for very long before Kenny’s name got called. But we did have to meet with the USCIS officer separately to answer questions. Kenny seemed pretty paranoid that they’d somehow know about the baby, but I wasn’t convinced, so I bet him ten bucks on it to try to lighten the mood. Still, I bounced my good leg while Kenny got up and left me alone to freak out about every way this could possibly end up going wrong. I felt like Dr. Strange in Infinity War , watching millions of alternate futures playing out, with only one good outcome to latch on to. Sure, Kenny and I had practiced, but what if the officer threw us a curveball question we hadn’t thought of? What if we both gave different answers? Would we be accused of fraud right then? And if we were, what next? Would I simply be denied a green card, or would the whole thing be taken more seriously? Would I get deported? Would Kenny go to jail? I cursed myself for not worrying about all this sooner. My green card wasn’t worth Kenny’s freedom.

But before I knew it, Kenny walked back into the waiting room. He looked happy enough, but he didn’t have a chance to give me any indication of what happened in that interview. Did they know about the baby? If so, why did Kenny look so relaxed? He seemed way less nervous than he was before the interview, so maybe they didn’t know? The questions couldn’t have been that hard, right?

I got up on shaky legs and hobbled on my crutches through the door where the USCIS officer was waiting for me. The officer led me down a corridor into an office at the end of the hallway and sat down behind the desk.

“Have a seat.” She gestured for me to sit. Right. I sat in the chair on the other side of her desk, hoping she didn’t notice how shaky my hands were. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans.

“So, how long have you and Mr. Bautista been together?” she asked.

“Well, officially, since October, but we’ve been in love since high school. Well, I have. Kenny says he loved me since first grade, when I saved him from a bully by throwing a dodgeball at the kid’s crotch.” I chuckled nervously. I figured it’d be a good idea to give details. It was hard not to dread the whole baby question, but I forced myself to focus on what she was actually saying.

“Mm-hmm…” The woman typed something into her computer before flicking her eyes back to me. “You don’t think that’s a little fast to be getting married? You’ve only been dating a few weeks.”

I shook my head, wiping my palms on my thighs again. “Like I said, it’s been a long time in the making. We’ve been into each other longer than anyone either of us has ever dated. If anything, we should have gotten married a long time ago.”

“Mm-hmm…” she said, typing something again. “And how did you two meet?”

I went on to tell the story of how we met when we were six, and how I thought Kenny hated me when really he had a crush. Most of the questions went this way for a while. They were easy enough to answer, and I was confident my answers wouldn’t clash with Kenny’s since they were all true. But the officer’s expression never changed, and she kept typing things on her computer and “mm-hmm”ing at me. It was intimidating, and it did nothing to fix the clamminess in my hands. I had to force myself not to bounce my leg, because I didn’t want to seem as nervous as I was.

“And I’m sure you’re aware that we go through your social media… Do you do the same?” she asked, which threw me off a little bit until I remembered that the baby was all over Instagram. So she did know.

I nodded. “I know about the baby, if that’s what you’re asking,” I started. Finally, I let my answer differ from what Kenny’s had probably been. “Kenny might not have mentioned this, but the mom is extremely abusive. We’re going to try for custody, together. It’s gonna be my baby, too.” I tried not to sound as nervous about that as I was. I was sure I wanted to do this, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still scare the hell out of me.

“Getting someone else pregnant doesn’t really seem like something you do when you’re in love with your fiancé, does it?”

“We didn’t get engaged until after he broke up with her. Like I said, it wasn’t that long ago. The way I see it, his relationship with her was so toxic, and it was just hard for him to get out. When he finally did, we knew it was the right time for us.”

“Mm-hmm,” she said as she typed.

Then the questions continued like before. After what felt like ages, she finally let me go.

I made my way down the hall to meet back up with Kenny, feeling pretty confident. My phone buzzed in my pocket before I got to him, and I paused to take it out to see my dad calling.

I debated whether or not I should even answer it. I was still mad about how he’d reacted to the wedding. But then again, he could be calling to give an update about my mom…

“Hey, Papi…” I finally answered, scrunching the phone between my ear and shoulder. I hoped this would be quick if it wasn’t about my mom. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to talking to him.

“Como estás, mijo?”

I made my way through the door and into the waiting room, where Kenny was waiting. Kenny gave me a huge grin and a double thumbs-up, and I squeezed the crutch with my arm in order to give a reluctant thumbs-up back.

“I’m good. What’s up? Is Mami back? How is she?” I asked. Even if I’d tried not to think about it, I had to admit he’d really gotten me worried since that last conversation.

“Are you alone? Is this a good time?”

“Papi, what’s going on?”

“Maybe you should sit down, mijo.”

“Why? What’s going on? Is she okay?” Kenny gave me a concerned look then, but I ignored it.

There was a long pause and an audible sigh over the phone. “We found her. She overdosed, and—”

“Is she okay?”

Another long pause. “Mijo, she didn’t make it.”