Chapter 34
CHAPTER 34
ARLAND
W illiam and Grant finally appeared at my sides like they’d been summoned. William took my arm and physically moved me a couple steps back before Grant stepped between the Walkers and me. He held up a hand as he turned to them, a charming, easygoing smile on his lips.
“Alright, everybody, it’s been a long day, a long night, and a long weekend,” he said, his voice firm but friendly. “Obviously, there are a lot of heightened emotions in this room right now. So what do you folks say we all call it a night and see each other in the morning, when cooler heads prevail?”
William’s grip on my arm loosened, but I felt his continued presence at my side. He was ready to step in again at a moment’s notice if I tried to move closer to Brian again. Smacking my thigh with his hand, he slid in between us and looked at Brian first before he glanced at me.
“You two have just started this business together. The place literally hasn’t even been open a week and you’re already at each other’s throats. Stand down, take a deep breath, and have this conversation when you’re both prepared to do it with clear heads and without so many voices in your ears.”
He sent a pointed look at Mr. and Mrs. Walker as well as at Lillian before he finally came back to my side. “Let’s go, people. We’ll have dessert sent to everybody’s rooms. On the house.”
I sent him a quiet glare. The entire meal had been on us, anyway. We’d never intended for anybody present tonight to pay but he’d just made it sound like that was all his idea. On the other hand, they had probably just saved me from having to buy Brian out of this place in the morning.
Mr. Walker nodded first. Mrs. Walker took his hand, following him out after they gave us all a polite nod goodnight. Lillian sent me a worried look, but I shook my head at her. Now wasn’t the time to talk about it.
Instead of trying to push me on it, she took my mother’s arm and they left. My brothers and the rest of my family wordlessly went with them. Smith and Lisa hadn’t reappeared after he’d taken her away, so at least I didn’t have to worry about them, and Gregory sent his wife and kids to the car ahead of him, coming over to talk to me in hushed tones before he left.
“This is a shit show, Stone. Mariam left a few minutes ago and she didn’t look happy. I don’t know how you’re going to fix it, but I can guarantee you’ve lost her unless you can find a way to make it right.”
My heart sank like a lead weight. I’d seen the expression on her beautiful features when I denied ever having been with her, but I’d honestly thought that was part of her plan. What was the point of a secret if you just admitted to it immediately? Was that even a secret or just something you haven’t told anyone yet?
Revealing the truth would have betrayed Mariam’s trust. I needed to discuss it with her before we came out to her family about our relationship. But now she was gone, maybe forever.
I took a quick look around the room to confirm, but Greg was right. She was nowhere to be found. Pain shot through me, but I wasn’t about to give up because of a misunderstanding.
I brought my gaze back to Greg’s. “I’m going to make it right. Don’t worry. Go on home with your family and I’ll call you later.”
“You might want to start making it right by talking to him.” He inclined his head at Brian, who hadn’t yet left the room.
He’d gone over to the bar and was gripping a tumbler filled with amber liquid, his other hand busy undoing his tie and his jacket already off. My stomach churned at the thought of all the lies I’d just told, but I knew I had to come clean.
Right now. Now that it’s just him and me.
I nodded at Greg, stoically waiting until he was gone and had shut the door behind him. Once we were alone in the private dining room, I strode over to the bar too, shaking my head at a bartender who was coming back in from the door that connected this area to the kitchen.
The guy stopped and turned in his tracks, leaving us alone once more. Brian seemed so lost in thought that I didn’t even know if he’d realized I was still in the room with him, but I walked around the small bar and helped myself to a whiskey before I sat down across from my friend and business partner.
“Well, that went sideways pretty damn fast,” I commented, staring at him from across the bar. “I’m sorry, Brian. It shouldn’t have gone down that way.”
He scoffed, his gaze sad and empty as he glanced in the direction of the door. “Fucking Lisa, huh? You can always count on her to fuck shit up just when you think it’s going really well. I swear that woman poisons everything she touches.”
Before I could respond, he brought his eyes back to mine, and I saw the knowledge in them as soon as I looked into them. “You are with her, though. Aren’t you?”
“I know this must be confusing as all hell after what just happened,” I said. “But yes, I am with Mariam. I’m more than just with her, actually.” I inhaled a deep breath, not breaking eye contact as I finally confessed the truth. “I’m in love with her, Brian. For the first time in my life, I’m absolutely head over heels in love with a woman and I give you my word that it’s not just about her body parts. ”
He cringed again. “I figured it wasn’t about that as soon as I saw the look on your face when I said it. I shouldn’t have spoken about her that way, though. Mariam is so much more than that. I never should’ve suggested it.”
“I wish I could tell you that I’m sure she’d understand, but right now, I have no idea what she’s thinking.”
Brian’s jaw tightened all over again. The same fury I’d seen earlier returned to his eyes as they locked on mine. “Of course, you don’t know what she’s fucking thinking. She’s almost twenty years younger than you. God knows how their minds work, but we sure as hell don’t.”
“See, that’s just the thing. Generally, I know exactly how her mind works. I understand her because we’re usually on the same page about things, but I messed up tonight. I’ll give you that.”
“Gee, thanks.” His chest heaved as he took another big gulp of his drink. Once he’d swallowed it, he shook his head at me. “Is that what makes you think that you’re in love with her? You think that you know how her mind works?”
“I don’t think I’m in love with her, Brian. I am in love with her.” I waited until after he’d downed the rest of his drink before I spoke again. “We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks and we’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you.”
“A few weeks ?” I saw the shock ricocheting through him and he blinked hard. “Do you mean to tell me that this has been going on since she got here ?”
“No. Well, yes, in a way, but I didn’t know she was your sister at first,” I explained. “Both of us always intended to tell you eventually, but?—”
“But what?” His eyes widened and his nostrils flared. “If you always intended on telling me, why wasn’t I told, Stone? Unless it was all because of the thrill of fucking around with my sister behind my back, I?—”
“I’ve already told you that had nothing to do with it,” I interrupted, not about to let him say anything else that would suggest I’d only been after her for sex. “I didn’t tell you because I had to respect what Mariam wanted. Neither of us wanted to upset you before the opening and we agreed to just see what happened before we spoke to you about it.”
“See what happened?” He grabbed the bottle of whiskey that I’d set down on the counter and poured himself another full glass. “Yeah, I can guess what happened, Arland.”
“What happened is that we fell in love, asshole,” I said. “It was completely unexpected for both of us and I’m sorry you found out this way. Lisa had no right to stick her nose in my business, but even so, I was planning on talking to you after the opening anyway. For what it’s worth, I really am sorry that you had to hear it from her.”
“So am I.” He screwed his eyes shut and sipped his drink, letting out a soft, pained groan before he looked at me again. “Why didn’t Mariam want to tell me?”
“She was afraid of how you would react, but this isn’t just on her, Brian. We both should’ve told you. I can give you a dozen reasons why we didn’t, but none of them will make it right. We shouldn’t have waited to see what happened before we came to you about it.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” His eyes searched mine, and while I didn’t know what he was looking for, I didn’t look away. Eventually, he grunted and shook his head. “I fucking hate this. I’ve always told her she can talk to me about anything, and if she didn’t feel like she could come to me about this, I feel like I’ve failed to be there for her.”
“Insightful, but absolutely untrue.” I took a sip of my own drink. “She loves you, Brian. Adores you. The fact of the matter is simply that it took us both some time to accept our feelings for each other. As has been pointed out several different ways tonight, I’m in my forties and she’s in her twenties. We’re not blind to how difficult that kind of age gap could make things for us.”
“I thought you were done giving me excuses about why you didn’t tell me,” he said bitterly. “That sounded an awful lot like an excuse to me, though.”
I shook my head. “I’m not denying that we should’ve told you, man. All I’m saying, and I’m sure you’ll understand this, is that it wasn’t easy for either of us to accept the way we felt about each other, let alone to tell other people about it.”
Brian groaned, but he didn’t respond immediately. Instead, a semi-comfortable silence fell between us as we sipped our drinks. He was still fuming, but he wasn’t being an immature dick about it, which was more than I’d had any right to expect from him. Every so often, his gaze flickered either to mine or to the door, and I waited him out, knowing he was taking time to process.
“How do you know you’re in love with her?” he finally asked once his glass was empty. “Why her? Why not any of the legion of women you’ve been with over the years?”
“I don’t know why it had to be her,” I admitted. “I didn’t go after her for the challenge she presented or because she’s so young. I don’t even know if I really went after her at all. All I can tell you for sure is that I’ve never felt the way I feel about her. Not about Lisa. Not about anyone.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Are you sure about that? Let’s say you two keep seeing each other, what happens when she’s our age? For that matter, what happens if she agrees to go public with your relationship and there’s no more sneaking around? Is she going to keep your interest, then?”
“She’s always going to have my interest,” I promised. “And for the record, we weren’t really sneaking around. All her friends know about us. My family too.”
“So I’m the only idiot who didn’t know?”
I shrugged. “We didn’t want to hurt your feelings but I guess we did anyway. Again, I’m sorry. And look, I know our ages seem like a big thing at the moment, and they are, but that’s not what it’s about. When I’m with her, I don’t see some beautiful young thing to?—”
I cut myself off, clearing my throat before I adjusted course. “She is beautiful, and she is young, but she’s also smart, and funny, and mature. I admire her for having the courage to leave behind everything she knew in favor of seeing what else is out there.”
As I spoke, I saw her face front and center in my mind, and I smiled. “Mariam is unlike any woman I’ve ever met. She challenges me and my perspectives. She’s vulnerable, but she’s not afraid of her vulnerabilities. She’s aware she lacks some life experience but she’s always striving to learn. To gain. To become. In that sense, she’s the most secure person I know, completely at ease even with her insecurities.”
“That makes no sense.”
I shrugged. “It makes complete sense to me. She makes complete sense to me even if she shouldn’t, and that’s how I know that I’m in love with her. Now that I’ve found her, I can’t let her go, Brian. Not now that I know how much fuller and brighter my life is with her in it.”
“She’s leaving soon,” he reminded me but not unkindly. “What happens when she does?”
“Another reason we decided to keep things to ourselves,” I said. “We haven’t figured that out yet.”
He sighed deeply and pushed his empty glass away before he stood up. “I don’t envy you right now, Arland. I can’t give you my blessing either, not until I’ve spoken to her, but you and I are okay. Now I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
“Goodnight,” I said simply, even if there were still so many other things I wanted to say. It had been one hell of a night and tomorrow was another day. There was no need to pile more on top of him right that minute.
After he left me at the bar, I finished my drink and then stood up, pulling my phone out of my pocket to try and call her. I pressed the device to my ear. It rang and rang, but she didn’t pick up. My heart sank.
Sighing, I left the private room trying to shake off my worry about Mariam when I found myself staring at Smith and Lisa. It looked like they’d decided to stay in the now-empty restaurant instead of coming back to the dinner, and I stalked over to them with my fingers clenched into fists at my sides.
They both looked up when they saw me coming, and my brother murmured something to his wife before he stood up just as I reached their table. “Arland.”
“Smith.”
He scowled at me. “There was no need to bring up Lisa’s past like that?—”
“There was no need for her to involve herself in my business.” My head cocked as I looked at my brother’s face and tried to remember how our relationship had even gotten to where it was today. “She wanted to start trouble and now you’ve got it. Congratulations. You both need to leave now and don’t ever come back. I’m done with you two.”
His eyes widened. “You’re kicking us out?”
“I am.” I let out a deep breath through my nostrils, fighting against the tide of disgust rising from the deepest parts of my being as I looked at him. “You’ve never been a good man, Smith. What’s worse is that you’ve always been a horrible brother. You’ve always coveted whatever I’ve had, and you’ve never been able to find it in yourself to be happy for me or even supportive of me. Or of anyone else.”
Lisa shot up out of her chair, leaping to her husband’s defense just like she always did when she thought the legitimacy of their relationship was being threatened. “Smith didn’t covet me. I never belonged to you, Arland. Not really. It was always him I wanted to be with.”
“Sure. After being married to me for a few years,” I said, so bored of this same fucking argument that I just couldn’t have it again. “I’ll say this one last time just to be clear, and then I’m done with it. Forever. You don’t mean anything to me, Lisa, and you haven’t meant anything to me for years. Stay out of my way, stay out of my business, and stop pretending like you’ve never done anything wrong. You two are pathetic, and I’m glad you found each other to be pathetic with, but stop pulling me into your misery. If you crave drama, find it someplace else and leave me the hell out of it from now on.”
I turned back to my brother. “As for you, you’re not welcome at any event I’ll be at ever again. For Mom’s sake, we’ll be civil over the holidays, but keep your toxic wife and your toxic marriage out of my face. You wanted her. You have her. Now keep her away from me. This jealousy and constant competition has become old. I’m done with trying to see a redeeming quality in either of you. No more trying to meet you halfway.”
Both of them were still sputtering their responses, but I turned around and walked away, refusing to rehash the conversations that we’d been having for twenty fucking years. As far as I was concerned, from now on, I only had two brothers.
Striding out of the building, I headed to my car and drove home, unable to believe how the weekend had ended. I tried calling Mariam again, but she still didn’t answer, and as I laid my head down on my pillow, I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that it was too late.
One of the best weekends of my life had turned into one of the worst, and I might’ve lost the love of my life by denying I felt anything for her at all. Gregory hadn’t been wrong. The night really had turned into a complete shit show, and that was what the rest of my life would be if I couldn’t come up with a way to make things right.