Chapter 9
Teddy nearly fell off the bed when the screaming started. He’d never heard a sound like that in his life. Callum lay on the bed, thrashing, scrabbling as if he was trying to escape some demon. Teddy put a hand on Callum’s chest, holding him in place, but Callum struggled against it.
“Callum, wake up.”
Still, he continued to scream. Big, fat tears streamed down his cheeks, pooling on the pillow. Teddy had no idea what to do. He grabbed his phone and tapped Mal’s contact.
“I need Dr. Hamilton in my room right away!”
“What’s wrong?” Mal asked, the concern in his voice obvious.
“Something’s going on with Callum. I can’t get him to wake up.”
If Mal said anything, Teddy didn’t know. Callum’s voice continued to rise, the shrieks getting louder and louder. Teddy lay atop Callum, trying to keep him from hurting himself. When the door opened, four people rushed into the room. Mal lifted Teddy off Callum as if he weighed nothing. Dr. Hamilton stood over Callum, lifting his eyelid and flashing a light in it, then using her stethoscope to listen to his heart.
“Callum? Callum, can you hear me?” She shook him. “Goddamn it, wake the fuck up!” she cried.
“What can we do?” Mal asked.
“I’m not a fucking people doctor!” she snapped. “I’m not sure what I can do without hurting him.”
Teddy pushed his way in, moving Dr. Hamilton aside as gently as possible. He put his mouth next to Callum’s ear. “I need you to wake up, Cal. Come back to us. Listen and follow the sound of my voice.”
Beneath the lids, Callum’s eyes were darting back and forth. He lashed out, but Teddy caught his hand and held it between his.
“Hear my voice, Cal? Hear me calling you? Come on, wake up.”
“Teddy…” came a croaked whisper.
“Yes, that’s it. Come back to us.”
Callum’s eyes flew open as he lurched up. “Teddy! Teddy, help me!”
Teddy wrapped his arms around Callum and pulled him tight to his body. “I’m here, right beside you.”
“I killed him! I killed Cooper!”
Teddy petted Callum’s sweat-drenched hair. “No, you didn’t. Hyde did that.”
“No! He said it was my fault.”
“It’s just a nightmare. You’re safe with me.”
Around him there were murmurs, but Teddy ignored them, his entire focus on Callum. “Cal, are you with me?”
He turned his head slowly toward Teddy’s voice. “Teddy?”
“Yeah, I’m right here.” He dragged Callum’s hand to his chest. “Feel my heart? I’m right beside you.”
“It was so real. I could see him. Smell him.”
“You’re okay now. You’re here with me.” He turned to Mal. “Could you get me a hot cocoa from somewhere?”
“I got it,” Alp said, slipping out of the room.
“How’d you know I like cocoa?” Callum asked.
“You love chocolate, like me, right?”
He nodded, then clutched Teddy’s arm and peered up at him, terror in his expression. “I’m afraid.”
“Don’t be. We’re going to take care of you, I promise.”
Mal stepped closer. “Lydia? Do you think Gwyneth might be able to help?”
“I’ll call and talk to her,” she said. “Is everything okay?”
“We’re fine, I think,” Teddy replied. “Thank you. I’m sorry about this.”
“Don’t be. I’m here to help, even if I couldn’t.”
The door opened a few minutes later and Alp came back into the room, a steaming mug in his hand. “I added whip cream.”
“Thank you, little bunny,” Teddy said, his gaze locked on Callum. He was pale and drawn, his eyes haunted. “Here, drink this.”
Callum took the cup in both of his shaky hands and lifted it toward his mouth. The steam curled around his lips as he sipped the hot beverage. When he’d drained the mug, he set it on the nightstand, but that fear hung on, acrid in the air, burning Teddy’s sensitive nose.
“Feel better?”
A quick shake of his head. “I don’t know that I’ll ever feel right again,” he whispered.
Alp stepped up beside them and put a hand on Callum’s shoulder. “I had nightmares too,” he said. “It took a while to get over them, but now I sleep through most nights. Give yourself some time.”
Callum blinked up at him. “Who are you?”
Alp gave a soft smile. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Alp. We met when you were still a bull. Me and this guy,” he said, gesturing toward Mal, “are in charge of Wald pack, and we welcome you.”
Callum’s gaze slid down Alp’s arm, to his missing hand. “What happened?”
Alp gave him a reassuring smile. “Hyde did this. He thought shifters could grow back missing limbs. I proved that son of a bitch wrong.”
The tone was light, almost teasing, but Teddy could feel the pain under the words. He understood. No one got over that kind of trauma without help. He feared the same would be true for Callum.
“Byk? Alp has some people who are helping others with their fears. Do you think you’d want to talk with them?”
He expected Byk to argue, but he shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe?” Callum looked up at Teddy and gave a tremulous smile. “What is Byk?”
This time Teddy’s cheeks heated. “I’m sorry. Byk is bull in Russian. It seemed… right. I don’t have to use it.”
“No! I… like it when you call me Byk. No one’s ever had a nickname for me before.” He gave a soft smile. “It makes me feel like I belong somewhere.”
Teddy grinned. “Then I shall call you Byk!”
“Listen, Teddy. We’ll get out of here. Thank you for letting us know what was going on,” Alp said.
“I’ll check in on you later. Get some rest, Callum. Eat your fill.” She smiled. “If you need me, call. I’ll come right back.” She turned to leave.
“Wait,” Byk called. “Thank you for… taking care of me, Dr. Hamilton. I know I wasn’t a very good patient, and I hope I didn’t hurt you.”
She moved closer and bent to hug Byk. “No, you most certainly did not. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I wish I could make it all better. Neither you or your brother deserved anything like this.”
Teddy was glad no one else knew the details of what happened with Cooper. Hell, he wished he didn’t know.
“Did you want to try and sleep some more?” he asked Byk.
“The cocoa did make me sleepy, so I think I’ll try, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is. Did you want me to stay with you?”
“Would you?” Byk asked hopefully.
“You don’t even need to ask.” He turned to Mal. “Will that be okay with you, First?”
“You take as much time as you need,” Mal told him. “Callum, we’re so happy to be able to talk with you. Later, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to speak in depth.”
A sudden surge of protectiveness rushed through Teddy. “Why?”
“To find out if he wants to call anyone or if he’d prefer to stay with us. We do have plenty of room, and if I’m honest, I think Wald is a place you’d feel at home.”
A small flutter floated through Teddy’s stomach at the thought that Byk might stay. He’d love to show him around the town, take him to the diner that served amazing mozzarella sticks, maybe romp through the woods again. Okay, fine. He really wanted to brush the bull some more. There was something about all that beautiful hair cascading down, drooping over his eyes, and the gentle demeanor that settled Teddy.
He didn’t want Byk to leave, and he had to wonder, if he did, would Teddy be willing to take a chance and go with him? He’d done stranger things. Leaving home to go with Hiram, for example. After he discovered Hiram had killed his family, Teddy actually wished he’d never left the farm. True, he hated it there, but Casper and Alana…. He wouldn’t have gotten attached and wouldn’t have a hole in his heart now. Maker damn Hiram to hell. To sell out shifters to someone like Hyde? To murder your wife and children? All to protect the fact that you stole money?
“Teddy?”
He smiled down at Byk. “Yeah?”
“I’m scared.”
Teddy lay beside him again. “I know, but I’m here, and I’ll take care of you. Close your eyes for me.”
His eyes fluttered shut. “I’m not a brave person,” Byk admitted.
Teddy scoffed. “What is bravery? I was a bodyguard before I came here. I stood between my First and anyone who would do him or his family harm. Do you think that’s brave?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Then why is it, every time we were to go out, Ivan had to come and hold my hand while I threw up? Or comfort me when we were on our way here? I was scared to death to go out there. Cece—she’s my former First mate—is a big, strong wolf. She could kick Ivan’s and my ass, even if we fought her together. She’s scared of her sons being hurt. We’re all afraid of something, Byk.”
“I like it when you call me Byk,” he said again. “I never had a nickname. I was always Callum.” He reached out and took Teddy’s hand. “What am I going to do?”
It was a valid question. “You let the doctors see if they can help you, and you lean on me for strength. I won’t let you down, you have my word.”
“I know you won’t.”
He slumped into Teddy’s arms, and Teddy was glad to take his weight. They lay there, neither speaking, until they fell asleep.
For someone so big, Teddy’s snores were quite soft. It was more a sigh than anything. Oddly, Callum—Byk, he reminded himself—found the sound soothing to his fractured nerves. What had been up with that dream? Cooper had seemed so real, right down to the stench that used to trail behind him after he finished a workout.
“You’re not sleeping.”
Byk turned on his side and found Teddy staring at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t. I…. Well, I felt like you were awake, and that woke me. What’s going on?”
“Just thinking about that dream. It was so vivid. I swore I could smell my brother.”
“Well, Alp said he’d talk to Dr. Hamilton in the morning to get you set up with one of the therapists.”
“I know.” He sighed. “Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”
Teddy propped himself up on his elbow and rested his head in his hand. “Seriously? You were forced into form and kept that way for who knows how long? No one could ever not be affected by something like that. We need a balance in our lives. If we don’t shift for too long, our muscles ache. If we stay in shifted form for too long, we run the risk of losing ourselves to our animal. So if you’re seriously asking, no, there’s nothing wrong with you that wouldn’t be with anyone else who had to endure what you did.”
“Alp seems well adjusted, though.”
“Hardly. When we were here, before I moved to Wald, Alp had nightmares too. In his, he saw his mate die, and that sent him into a tailspin. Cece told him she has similar dreams. We’re not just humans—we’re animals too. That means our minds don’t work like either of them. It’s a unique wiring that allows us to become an animal and still retain some humanity.”
It made sense. Byk had never given thought to the necessity of their brains when it came to shifting.
“Look, you just shifted back. You need time for your mind and body to become acclimated again. It’s not something that should be rushed, okay?”
Byk nodded, but he wasn’t feeling the least bit agreeable. Something niggled in the back of his mind, barely out of reach. He knew whatever lay there was dark and scary, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to venture into that area.
“You never ate,” Teddy said, pulling Byk from his thoughts.
“I know, and I’m starving.” He did his best to smile. “When your bull has four stomachs….”
Teddy’s eyes widened. “Really?” The mixture of horror and curiosity on his face was everything.
“We have one stomach, but it’s got chambers. We can’t digest grasses and the like easily, so our food gets pushed through each chamber, which breaks it down. You’ve heard of a cow chewing cud? That’s part of it.”
“I never really gave much thought to shifter biology beyond bears.” He leaned in closer. “Tell me more about bulls.”
“Well, I’m a Highland bull. We’re supposed to be friendly and docile, but as a shifter, we have to deal with aggression too. My family lived on a farm?—”
“Mine too.” He smiled. “Sorry, go on.”
“Cooper is… was….” He sniffled.
Teddy reached for Byk’s hand. “We don’t have to talk, if you’d rather not.”
Byk shook his head. Having Teddy touch him gave him strength to go on. “No, it’s okay. Cooper was the biggest one in our herd. He used his power to bully the smaller males and figured any female would fall over for him. When the housing bubble burst, a lot of properties in our area were in trouble. Dad came up with an idea that he’d take Cooper out and show him in county fairs and things. Some of those places have insane prizes, and, of course, Cooper swept them all.”
“But how?”
“Well, they didn’t do DNA tests, so no one questioned it. They did check for steroid usage, but Cooper would never touch that kind of crap. Anyway, my parents sank a lot of money into getting him geared and traveling and stuff. So, naturally, I was left without more than the basics, because Cooper needed it. Then I was selfish, because I was thinking of myself instead of the herd.”
“And do you think you were?”
The question gave Byk pause. He never asked for much, and once he had his own job, he took care of his needs by himself. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Yeah, I can’t see you doing that.”
“Part of the problem was I got my own job, and they wanted me to chip in to get Cooper the things he needed. Professional hairstylists, specialists to travel with them to care for his horns, that kind of thing. I was saving every penny to go to college, and I said no. The day Hyde took us, Cooper and I argued because he didn’t want me to leave him alone with our parents. He knew he wasn’t going to get drafted by a baseball team, and he didn’t want to be a show bull for the rest of his life.”
“Sounds like your parents didn’t want to hear either of you.”
That was the truth. “They didn’t. My dad wasn’t even our herd leader, but he still felt an obligation to do what he could for the whole group, instead of worrying about his family.”
“What did you want to go to school for?”
Byk opened his mouth to answer, then closed it. “Nothing important.”
“Hey, talk to me. You can tell me anything, and I swear I won’t judge you.”
Not that Teddy would. He was kinder than anyone in Cal’s life. “I wanted to be a baker.”
He waited for the laughter, but instead got a brilliant smile. “I love cake, you know. And pie. And… well, I love all that. Bears have an innate sweet tooth that’s never satisfied. Combine that with a human’s love for sugar, and you get me and Ivan. If you ever need someone to practice on, I am your bear.”
Before Byk could answer, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” Teddy said.
The door opened, and Mal stepped inside. In his hands was a stack of clothing. He placed it on the bed, then turned his attention to Byk.
“I think these should be about your size,” he said. “Alp and I made a quick trip to the store in town and grabbed some necessities. He’ll be bringing personal supplies—toothbrushes, paste, deodorant, stuff like that. If you can think of anything else you need, let one of us know, and we’ll do our best to get it for you. Okay?”
Who were these people? They didn’t know Cal, so why would they go out of their way to get things for him?
“How much do I owe you?” His face heated. “I don’t have anything now, but?—”
Mal frowned as he held up a hand. “Nothing. You’re one of ours, so we’ll take care of you.”
“But I’m not yours,” he snapped, then immediately regretted it. “Sorry.”
But Mal seemed unruffled. “While you’re here, you’re ours. If you decide to leave, that’s up to you. As long as we have you, though, we will take as much care as we can.”
“Why?”
This time Mal smiled. “You know, when Alp and I decided to take this pack on, I was certain I was doing the wrong thing. I’d been a lone wolf for years and thought I didn’t need anyone. Then I found this rabbit running from some men who were hurting him, and at that exact instant, everything I thought I knew and believed went out the door. I walk these halls, and I see the people who we’re helping, and honestly, I can’t think of a reason why I didn’t want this.” He moved closer. “I love my pack, and I’ll do whatever I have to in order to see them happy. So take the clothes and stuff, and shut up.”
Byk was going to say something, but Teddy stopped him. “Say ‘yes, First’ and let it go.”
There was a desire to argue, just to see what Teddy would say, but Byk turned to Mal. “Yes, First. Thank you.”
Mal flashed a smile. “Good night, guys. See you in the morning.” With that, he walked out.
Teddy scooted down on the bed. “Did you want me to see if there’s another room ready for you?”
Why did that thought bother him so much? He liked being with Teddy. He liked those big arms wrapped around him. He very much enjoyed the smell that surrounded him.
“Is it okay if I stay here? I’ll try to keep out of your way.”
Teddy snickered. “I was hoping you’d say that.” He rolled and took Byk in his arms. “Good night, my bull.”
And a few moments later, Teddy was asleep. Meanwhile, Byk lay there wondering what he’d meant when he called Byk “my bull.” Did Teddy think… no, he couldn’t.
Could he?
And if he did, was that such a bad thing?
Byk ruminated on that until he fell asleep.