Chapter 11
Byk fought like a wild man. He tried to hit Teddy repeatedly, but this time Teddy was ready and blocked the feeble attempts. When Byk lowered his head, Teddy feared he was out of time. He could sense Byk was close to a shift.
“You’re not really good at this, are you?” Teddy taunted. “How about we go somewhere with more room?”
Byk stood, his nostrils flared. “I’ll kick your fucking ass anywhere, anytime.”
“Then let’s go. No reason to destroy this place if it’s me you want.” He shoved Byk’s shoulder, knocking him back. “Come and get me,” he goaded.
“I’ll kill you for that!” Byk screamed.
Teddy hurried out the door. He needed to get Byk away from here before the bartender called the police. The last thing the pack needed was that kind of scrutiny. He hit the street and took off at full tilt. It was imperative he get Byk away from the town and the people. If he could move into the woods, he’d be okay, even if Byk shifted.
He looked over his shoulder and noticed Byk was lagging behind. That wasn’t a surprise. Years of muscles atrophying had left Byk easily winded, while Teddy trained nearly every day to keep his physique.
“I thought you were going to beat me?” he called out, slowing his pace to allow Byk to keep up. “Guess you’re not as good as you thought, huh?”
They’d just entered the woods that surrounded the town. As soon as they were off the road, Byk bellowed. It was time.
Teddy stopped and turned to find Byk stripping off his clothes. “Byk…. Why are you doing this? I thought we were friends.”
“I don’t even fucking know you!” Byk ground out. “I turn and find you with your fucking hands on me, and that’s bullshit man. My brother’s the fag, not me.”
Wait. What?
“What did you say?”
“Callum is the faggot, not me.”
“You’re Callum. My Byk.”
That caused Callum to falter. “No, I’m… Cooper. I’m not….” He blinked rapidly, his eyes stuttering like a camera lens. When they stopped, the gaze sharpened as he stared ahead. “Teddy?” Byk grabbed his temples. “Teddy, what’s wrong with me? Why do I hear Cooper’s voice in my head?” Byk threw his head back and screamed. “I’m Cooper!”
“No, you’re not. You’re Byk. My Byk,” Teddy said softly, moving closer to the now wild-eyed Byk. “You allowed me to brush you, remember? You like the brush, you enjoy the attention.”
“No! No! I’m Cooper. I’m… I’m….” He dropped to the ground, his head in his hands. When he peered up, there were tears in his eyes. “Teddy, please. Help me.”
Teddy rushed toward Byk and fell to his knees beside him. He wrapped Byk in his arms and held him close.
“I’m here, Byk. I’m right here. Listen to the sound of my voice, okay? I need you to hear me.”
“I’m so scared,” he whispered. “I hear Cooper’s voice in my head. He’s screaming, demanding to be let go.”
How was that possible? It made no sense.
“Teddy!”
Mal’s voice. “Over here,” he shouted.
A few moments later, Mal and Dr. Hamilton strode into view. Just seeing the First helped calm Teddy. Mal eyed Byk, but then his gaze shifted to Teddy.
“What’s going on?”
Dr. Hamilton came over and knelt beside Byk. She pulled out a needle and pressed it into his arm. “It’s a sedative,” she said softly. “Give him a few minutes to relax before you say anything.”
“Teddy?”
He tightened his hold. “I’m here, Byk.”
“Don’t leave me, okay? Not again. Please?”
Teddy nuzzled his hair. It broke his heart to hear the fear in Byk’s voice. “It’ll never happen. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“Promise?”
It was the easiest thing Teddy had ever done. “You have my word.”
“Okay.”
As he watched, Byk’s eyes fluttered shut and his breathing evened out. Then he slumped into Teddy’s arms, unconscious.
“What the hell?” Mal growled.
“I don’t know,” Teddy said, his voice cracking. “I don’t understand.”
Mal stomped closer. “Let me take him.”
“No!” Teddy snarled. “He’s mine, so you back the fuck off!”
There was silence for a moment. “Teddy, I?—”
Familiar ants burrowed beneath Teddy’s skin. They were itchy, but comfortable “Back off, Mal,” Teddy growled, not taking his eyes off Byk. “I’m close to shifting, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Let him carry Callum, Mal” came Dr. Hamilton’s soft voice.
Teddy stood, Byk in his arms. He felt good there. Right. The four of them headed for the compound, no one saying anything. When they took the ramp down into Wald, Dr. Hamilton led Teddy to her clinic. He lay Byk on the gurney, then turned to Mal.
“I’m sorry, First.”
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Mal assured him. “If someone tried to take Alp, I’d do the same thing.”
But Alp was his mate. Teddy was just a friend.
You go ahead and keep telling yourself that. Remember how you reacted when you caught his scent? How it made you feel? How your stomach squirmed and how you started popping wood?
Fine, Teddy had never had a visceral reaction to anyone before. Unlike Ivan, Teddy wasn’t a walking hormone. Sure, he’d gone on dates, but he never clicked with anyone. They were never right for a litany of reasons. Too loud. Too quiet. Too eager. Too shy. Ivan had told him, once he had sex, it would all make sense, but Teddy never connected on a level where he even considered getting intimate with anyone.
Byk? Teddy wanted to strip down and roll around in the clover with him. He wanted to lay in a field of dandelions, then pluck a handful and give them to Byk, because he knew, without a doubt, Byk would find it the most romantic thing in the world. Everything about Byk called to Teddy. His smile, his laugh, his happy face, his shy face. The way his cheeks reddened. The smell of him as they snuggled.
And now the man lay in the clinic, and Teddy didn’t know how to help.
When Mal asked again about what happened, Teddy gave him a full report, but it was automatic. There wasn’t any emotion involved, because all of Teddy’s focus was on his Byk, lying on that damned bed. When Mal said he had enough to work with, he excused himself to call the Council. Teddy slipped into the room and asked Dr. Hamilton if he could sit with Byk.
“Sure. He’s going to be out for a while.” She took Teddy’s hand and peered into his eyes. “I have him on intravenous sedatives, because we don’t know what’s wrong. It’s not ideal, though. I have to use a larger dose just to keep him in a twilight sleep because shifters burn things off so quickly. I don’t want him waking up and having a panic attack.”
He wanted to argue, to say that Byk wasn’t a threat, but even though he and his bear were certain of it, how could anyone else be?
“Thank you, Doctor.”
“Lydia, please. And don’t hesitate to ask me something. I don’t know human anatomy, but Gwyneth has been helping me figure out the important things. I still don’t know enough to treat Callum, but I promise we’re doing everything we can for him.”
The words barely filtered through Teddy’s mind. He couldn’t take his eyes off Byk. It was as though he was a corpse, lying there so still, barely breathing. When Lydia put a hand on his shoulder, Teddy didn’t even flinch.
“I have to go home now,” she said. “I can stay if you want, I’ll just need to let my daughter know.”
He shook his head, but said nothing.
“There will be people on duty throughout the night, so Callum won’t be alone.”
“He wouldn’t be. I’ll stay here until he wakes.”
“Teddy, it won’t be?—”
“I’ll be here,” he assured her.
The soft treads of her tennis shoes on the floor faded away, but then she asked if he wanted the lights turned down, and he nodded. He didn’t want Byk to wake up under the bright lights. The room faded to a soft glow before she left the room. As soon as the door closed, he put his head down on the thin mattress, wishing they could be in Teddy’s bed.
He closed his eyes, but he knew sleep wouldn’t come. Instead he sat up and took Byk’s hand and brought it to his lips, then placed a soft kiss on the palm.
“This is not how I would have wanted to spend time with you, you know. I would much prefer to chase each other through the woods again. That was the most fun I’ve had in far too long.” He gazed at Byk’s face, noting how fake it looked. Far too placid for someone whose emotions could be easily read just by looking at him. This wasn’t his Byk, but a shell of the man.
“I don’t know how to help you. There’s nothing that my muscles can fight, no enemy I can vanquish.” He turned his gaze toward the ceiling. “Maker, I have never once in my life asked you for anything. Even when they left Ivan and I on that mountain to die, I accepted my fate. I am asking you now, please spare my Byk from this sickness. He’s a good man, Maker. I know it in my heart. Don’t let him suffer like this, please. I would gladly trade my life for his, if only you would grace him with your healing touch.”
Of course there was no reply. He hadn’t really expected one, but Teddy lived with hope in his heart. Except now his heart was broken. Shattered into tiny fragments, and he didn’t know if it could be repaired. He reached into his pocket for his phone and called the only number he knew by heart.
“Little brother, is good to hear your voice,” Ivan boomed. “I am sorry I did not make the trip last time, but I met this woman and we?—”
Teddy sobbed, and Ivan was instantly alert.
“What is wrong?”
“It’s Byk.”
“Byk? Like bull?” He gasped. “Something is wrong with your bull?” Teddy told him the story, and Ivan remained unusually quiet. When it was done, Ivan whispered softly, “Oh, Teddy. I am so sorry. I will be there as soon as I am able. I shall wake Damon and tell him I need the jet.”
“No, it’s okay. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“You will shut up now,” Ivan barked, but with no real heat. “You will always and forever be my brother. My true family. If you need me, I will make it happen, do you understand me?”
Tears welled up in Teddy’s eyes and his throat closed up, because it was sinking in he might lose Byk.
“Theodore!” Ivan shouted. “You will stop these thoughts that race through your head, now. I will be there soon.”
Then he disconnected.
“Teddy?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face, not wanting Alp to know he’d been crying. “Yes, bunny?”
A gentle hand came to rest on Teddy’s shoulder. “I brought you something to eat. It’s not much, but I know you need to keep up your strength, because now you have to be strong for two people.”
And just like that, the facade cracked, and Teddy turned and buried his face in Alp’s chest.
“I cannot lose him, Alp. I have only just found him, and now he might?—”
“No, don’t. You can’t let your mind go off in that direction. Lydia has Gwyneth coming, and together they’ll figure it out, I’m sure.” He stroked a hand over Teddy’s back. “You need to have faith that the Maker won’t let anything happen to him.”
Teddy leaped up, knocking his chair back, and sending it crashing to the floor. Anger surged in him, and it needed an outlet.
“Like she protected you? Or the man who has lost his eyes? Or the children who will never walk properly? The Maker is a fantasy, Alp. One we use to keep ourselves from addressing the real problems. Hyde did this to you, to everyone. Did the Maker strike him down? No. She allowed him to torture, to maim, to kill, and nothing happened until Cece tore him apart. What kind of goddess is she, if she allows her people to suffer?”
Alp stood, his shoulders back, and glared at Teddy. “Do you think I haven’t had those same thoughts?” Alp asked, his voice stronger than Teddy would have thought. “Every night I lay in that cage and I cursed her, but then I prayed as well. How did Mal find me? One tiny lone rabbit in a forest? Why did he save me? I have to believe she sent him to free me and everyone here.” He moved closer and wrapped Teddy in his arms. “He died doing that, and it was only Gwyneth being here that saved him. Why was she here? Lydia was, so it wasn’t as though one person should matter, but on that day, she was the most important one here. Did the Maker send her? I don’t know, but I don’t want to give up hope that she did. Does that make me a fool? Maybe. For all I know, there is no Maker, and we’re on our own here. If that’s true, then I will continue my hard work, not in service to her, but to those who live here, and in the memory of those who’ve died. Why? Because I can’t do anything else.”
Teddy hefted Alp off the floor and squeezed him so hard, Alp grunted. “You are a good man, Alpin Dawkins. Your mother must be so very proud of you.”
“She is. I think she’d love to spend time with you. And Callum. She’s a force of nature wrapped up in a teeny tiny bottle. If Nura Dawkins loves you, then nothing had better get between you and her. And you, Theodore Egorov, are someone she will absolutely fall for.”
They stood there, Teddy holding Alp to his chest, for several long minutes. Finally, Teddy put him back down on the floor and picked up his chair.
“I am sorry for my outburst,” he said, swiping at his eyes before taking his seat beside the bed again.
“Don’t worry about it. Trust me when I tell you, I’ve had more than my share of freak-outs. Nightmares are a thing here, you understand. We’ve had some people wake up screaming at the top of their lungs, and it seemed as though it would never end. I’m grateful to Lydia, Gwyneth, Damon, and Cece for everything they’ve helped us with, especially finding psychological help for everyone. Without their assistance….”
His words were unsaid, but Teddy understood them.
“I must admit to you, part of my reason for coming was because I wanted to help here. I wanted to show the children that strength—true strength—comes from inside, and that it lies in kindness toward others.”
“They’ve noticed,” Alp assured him. “At movie night, they loved climbing on the big bear and hearing you chuff. You were even better than the movie. You have such a good heart, and I know that’s why Callum is perfect for you.”
“What? I never?—”
“No, you didn’t, but I know that look. I see it whenever I catch my reflection when I think about Mal. If you’re not in love, you’re well on your way. I’d be willing to bet that your bear wants to claim Callum as his, to keep him safe and loved, just like Mal does for me.”
The words were truth. He wanted Byk in their room, to sleep in their bed, to wake and have breakfast together before starting their day, and then to come home at night and take comfort in each other. For the first time, Teddy wondered about sex, but only with his Byk. No one else interested him in that way, and they never had. But, even if Byk never desired sex, Teddy still wanted him. Ivan had expounded on the joys of sex with any partner who was willing, but for Teddy it never seemed important. Now he could understand the excitement he could find in coupling with his mate.
So you admit he’s your mate?
No, Teddy admitted only to wishful thinking, because without Byk’s consent, there would be no claiming bite, no exchange of seed. If he was opposed to the idea, they could still have a relationship, and they would make it work, if Byk wanted more with Teddy.
Please, let Byk be interested in more.
“Is there anything I can get for you? Some hot cocoa? There’s some apple and blueberry pie left from dinner, if Mal hasn’t eaten it.”
“No, but thank you, First mate. Mal could not have chosen anyone better. You are a so fierce for someone so….”
Alp chuckled. “Tiny. Yeah, I know what you mean. In the time we’ve been here, I’ve come to think of these people as my own. We’re still trying to find their families, but I remind them that they have one here as well.” He reached a hand out and gripped Teddy’s wrist. “You do too.”
“I am coming to understand that, and it is very much appreciated. Good night, Alp.”
“Night, Teddy.”
One last lunge, a final hug, and Alp was out the door, leaving Teddy alone with the man he was coming to realize he couldn’t live without.
“Come back to me, Byk. I need you.”
Teddy took Byk’s hand in his, then sat and watched, praying to the Maker for a miracle he wasn’t sure he deserved. Maybe this was his penance for failing in his duty, but it wasn’t one Byk should have to pay.