Chapter 12
Callum stood and watched, horrified, as Cooper beat Teddy. The punches were savage, merciless, but the look on Cooper’s face was what made Callum shrink back. With every cry that escaped Teddy, a sick smile crossed Cooper’s lips. When Callum begged Cooper to stop, he spun and faced Callum. In that instant, he knew true terror. It wasn’t Cooper’s face at all, it was his!
No matter how desperately he wanted to turn away, Callum was rooted to the spot, watching as he savaged Teddy and took joy in it. But that wasn’t his way! He would never hurt anyone, but especially not Teddy, who’d given him comfort, who’d held him, asking for nothing in return. Teddy’s touch brought safety, warmth, and it made Callum… no, not Callum. Byk. He was Byk. It made him want more from Teddy. To be protected and know it wasn’t a dream? It would be the start of a life that Byk never knew he could have. It had always been Cooper’s life that mattered. Cooper who was the favored son. Cooper who… died.
Come back to me, Byk. I need you.
A voice from so far away. It was Teddy’s voice, broken, fractured, full of pain. Byk knew it as well as he did his own. How had Teddy, in such a short time, pushed past the fear and found the Byk hidden underneath all that? Why was he nervous around anyone but Teddy? When Teddy was with him, all that discomfort burned away and Byk felt as though he could stand against the world.
Had he ever felt that way in his life? Not that he could recall. It had always been in Byk’s best interest to fade into the background. Unseen and unheard by anyone—family or classmates. It wasn’t that most were openly cruel to him, but being ignored was every bit as painful as some of the hits.
“Cooper, wait up!”
He didn’t, though. He ran faster, his legs pumping harder than before. Callum was falling behind, and still Cooper ran. Then came the laughter from Cooper and his friends as Callum stumbled and landed face-first onto the muddy grass. He lay there as the tears of frustration spilled over, mixing with the already water-soaked dirt. He slammed a fist down. He hadn’t wanted to go with Cooper anyway. Why the hell did he need his brother?
“Get up, you baby” came the growl from above him as a shadow passed over Callum. “Fuck, anyone sees you crying and they’re gonna know what a pussy you are. You’re a goddamn bull, dude. Act like it. Or are you going to be one of those homo bulls that can only fuck with other guys?”
He was. Callum already knew he was gay. Had known for years.
“Holy fuck, you are!” Cooper barked. “My own brother is a faggot.”
Callum pushed up and got to his feet. The mud dripped down from his face and shirt, returning where it had come from.
“Cooper, I ? —”
His brother shoved him then, sending Callum sprawling backward and landing in the mud once more. Then he turned, a wicked laugh echoing around him, and returned to his friends. Callum lay there, an arm over his eyes, and realized—finally—that he was never going to be friends with his brother. He now understood his place in the family, as if there was one. His parents would have been happier if Callum had never been born, because that took resources away from their precious Cooper.
That was the day Callum knew he had to get out. To get away from this place, these people. He was never going to fit in here, and the news didn’t shock him as much as bring him comfort. He knew what he wanted to do with his life, and now that he understood it would be on his own, he would need to come up with a plan. First thing he needed was a job, because one way or another, he would be a success. He would get out of this place, away from the people who scorned him, and he would show them he didn’t need them. That he’d outgrown them. That he’d ? —
“Get them in the truck!”
The change in scene jolted Callum. Now he was fifteen. He had money in his bank account. With the help of his teacher, he’d acquired financial aid for school. He was going to make his dream come true!
“Hurry the fuck up! We can’t have anyone see us.” The voice belonged to the man Callum would come to know as Hyde.
“We’re trying!” the one guy had shouted. “This kid is fucking strong.”
Cooper slammed his fist into one man’s face, the crunch of his nose so satisfying. He went down like a sack of potatoes. Callum stared at his brother, awed by him in a way he hadn’t been for years. This wasn’t his tormentor—this was Cooper fighting for his life. For their lives.
“Callum! You ? —”
Whatever Cooper was about to say was cut off when one guy shoved a Taser into his back. He screamed, then fell to the ground, twitching as they continued to shock him. Callum’s heart was slamming against his chest. He got up, turned, and ran as fast as he could. He needed to get away, to find help. No way could he beat these men. Then came the sound of a gunshot, and Callum’s fear grew exponentially.
Tears fell down his cheeks as he tried to find a place he’d be safe. His lungs ached, and his muscles were jelly. He had dreams, hopes. He didn’t want to die. Not here, not now. He wanted to live the life he’d fantasized about. To prove, to himself if no one else, he wasn’t a failure. That he had worth. That Cooper wasn’t the only son in his family!
After that, things went dark. When Callum awoke, he was a bull, braying for his brother. The first night he spent in that shit pit was hell on earth. They cut his skin, and put some kind of gel on it that burned like nothing he’d ever felt before. He rubbed against any surface, hoping to get the crap off, but it was deep in the abrasions.
And if he thought that was where his torture would end, he was sadly mistaken.
Every day they would come in and put something in his eyes, or his hooves, or his mouth. No matter what, it was always pure torture. He’d cry out, begging for them to kill him, but they never did. In fact, they seemed to take great joy in his pain, and they would be standing there scribbling notes on their clipboards or iPads. Then they’d huddle together, and plot tomorrow’s wickedness.
“Byk…. I have so many things I want to say to you. Stuff I want to tell you. I need you to come back, though. Please. I don’t want you to leave me.”
Teddy again. So many voices swimming in his head, Byk wasn’t sure what was real or wasn’t. Was any of it? Had he ever truly gotten free? Had he finally died and this was hell? To see things he desperately wanted, but could never have? Was there a worse torture than that?
If there was, Byk didn’t want to know.
One day passed into another, and then another. Despite repeated appeals from Alp, Teddy didn’t move. Didn’t sleep. Didn’t eat. He only stared at Byk, doing his best to will him back. Dr. Hamilton said he should get some rest, because Byk was still sedated and they wouldn’t be bringing him out until Gwyneth said it was okay to do so.
It didn’t matter. Nothing did. Teddy would sit there until Byk woke up.
“What are you doing, brother?”
He’d known Ivan was coming. He could smell him when they first entered the compound. As much as Teddy hated to admit it, he didn’t want to see Ivan. Not now, and certainly not like this.
“What does it look like?”
“To me? It appears as though you are sitting there and feeling very sorry for yourself.”
“Fuck you, Ivan.”
He chuckled. “No, I think not. Though I find you very cute, I am not into, how you say, those types of familial relations.”
Any other time, Teddy would have laughed, but he wasn’t feeling it now. “I’m really not in the mood.”
“And that is as it should be. However, I think it would be poor judgment for me not to point out that you reek, and if he was to wake, you would not want his first thoughts of you to be how badly you stink.”
Teddy knew Ivan was trying to get a rise out of him, but the words reminded him that Byk wasn’t going to wake up. “I can’t lose him.”
“And you will not. Gwyneth is here and she is working with the animal doctor. Together they will find out what is wrong with your bull.”
“Byk.”
“Byk? As in bull, da?”
Teddy shrugged. “It’s a nickname.”
Firm hands came to rest on Teddy’s shoulders, and then Ivan began to massage them, kneading the muscles. “You are far too tense. Have you shifted recently?”
Teddy shook his head.
Those strong hands spun the chair around, and Ivan glared at Teddy. “You know what will happen if you do not shift.”
Teddy didn’t reply.
“Tell me now, Theodore. What will happen?”
It had only happened once, and it had been years ago. After their failure to protect the family of their leader. Teddy wouldn’t shift, and his muscles locked in place, not allowing him to move. They’d given him muscle relaxants to allow him to finally unclench enough to affect a shift. After that, he did his best to ensure he did it at least every few days.
Looking at the people in Wald, those who hadn’t shifted for months or years, and who were now hobbled? No, that wasn’t what Teddy wanted for himself.
“What am I going to do?”
“In order to answer that, you must first tell me something. What have you done for him lately?”
Anger roared up, and Teddy shoved Ivan back. “What the hell do you mean? I can’t do anything. I’m fucking useless to him.”
Ivan’s features softened. Teddy wasn’t sure which was worse, the angry glower or the pitying looks. “This is not true, and I believe you know it. Why did you come to Wald in the first place?”
“To be something other than a bodyguard.”
“Yet here you sit, guarding his body.”
“What would you have me do? I’m not smart, so I can’t help the doctors.”
“Are you certain of this?”
There was a teasing lilt to Ivan’s voice that was pissing Teddy off. “If you have something to say, just get it out.”
“I ask again, what is it you do here?”
“I’m supposed to be sorting Hyde’s files and scanning them into the computer.”
“And what records are these?”
“Pretty much everything. They were packrats and seem to have kept every scrap of....” The light came on. “If they did something to Byk, there has to be notes!”
Ivan smiled. “And now you understand, brother. Gwyneth and the woman doctor can do nothing, but you? If you were to find the papers that show what they did, it could give them vital information, da?”
Teddy grabbed Ivan’s face and kissed him on the lips. “I love you!”
“Yes, I see that,” Ivan teased. “Go. Hunt down this information. I will sit here with your Byk until you are able to return.”
“Ivan, I?—”
“Must learn to kiss better,” Ivan said, wiping his lips off. “That was hardly even noticeable. If you kiss your bull like that, he might be as turned off as I am.” He reached for Teddy and pulled him in. “You will save your Byk,” he whispered in Teddy’s ear. “Of this, I am most certain.” He stepped back. “Now go. Be useful, but first, I beg you to shower. You are making me look bad, and I don’t want anyone here knowing I am related to the walking garbage pile.”
“Thank you,” Teddy whispered.
Ivan cupped his cheek and looked at him fondly. “Theodore, my brother, my best friend, I will always be here if you need me. This you should already know.”
And he did, but sometimes it was nice to have a reminder.
There was a change in the current of energy that surrounded Byk. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but it no longer felt the same, and that bothered him.
“So, you are the one who has my brother all twisted up in knots” came a voice Callum was fairly certain he’d never heard before. “I can see why. You are very beautiful. I approve of Teddy’s taste.”
Beautiful? Callum?
“The thing is, we have a problem here, and you are at the root of it all. Teddy is aching because he cannot help you. This bothers him. He does not like the fact that he cannot reach you, cannot get you to open your eyes, cannot speak words of love to you.”
Love? Teddy loved him? Was that even possible?
“I must tell you, I’m disappointed. Of the two of us, Teddy has the much softer heart. He is the one who is hurt more easily. And believe me, you are hurting him. Oh, I know it isn’t intentional. Who would choose to lay there like a lump when he could be held by someone who adores him, am I right?”
Yes! He wanted Teddy to hold him. Things weren’t so scary when Teddy pulled Callum to his chest.
“And the fact that he calls you his Byk? That tells me what you mean to him. Never before has my brother become so attached to someone that he gives them a name.”
Byk? Yes, he was Teddy’s Byk. No longer Callum, but Byk. He liked being Byk, because the name helped him wash away the pain of his past.
“So I must ask you, Byk, what is it you want? Teddy is willing to give anything to save you. Are you going to let all the effort fall on him? Will you do nothing to help him?”
It was so dark, and Callum—Byk—knew that Cooper was out there, waiting on him. He was afraid.
“Will you let Teddy fail you? Will you let him fall apart like he did before? Will you allow him to not have love in his life? Only you can make that decision, Byk. Only you have the power to unshackle Teddy’s heart again and find love.”
He had the means to help Teddy? To prove he could be a capable partner? To show he could love and be loved? Yes! Yes, he wanted that more than anything.
“Teddy” came the harsh whisper. “I love you.”