Chapter 24
“Brother!”
Ivan threw his arms around Teddy and squeezed. Even though they were about the same size, Ivan was far stronger. Or maybe he just liked showing people he could crack them like a glow stick.
“How are you?” Teddy asked, gesturing to the couch.
Ivan sat, a wide smile on his face. “I am awesome. This past weekend I spent many enjoyable hours with a husband and wife who were very enthusiastic. They?—”
“Stop. Ivan, just stop.”
He sat back and stared at Teddy with a smug grin. “You are prude now?”
“When you’re lying to me, yes. If I want made-up porn, I have sites bookmarked.” He leaned in. “They tell me you’re grumpier than usual. What’s going on?”
The stony face, hardened by decades of a life lived rough, crumpled. “He will not talk to me. I tried to see him when we arrived, but he turned me away again.”
Of course it was about Jerome. Maybe Ivan hadn’t realized it yet, but he was so entwined by his mate, he’d never want anyone else again. The self-proclaimed “manwhore” was now at the mercy of a tiny man.
“Let me ask you something. How did you approach him?”
Ivan cocked his head. “What do you mean?”
“He’s not a conquest, Ivan. He’s your mate. He’s special, and he can’t be treated like someone you’re trying to pick up in a bar. This isn’t you wanting to get in his pants. It’s you wanting to have him in your life.”
Ivan scrubbed a hand over his close-cropped hair. “I don’t know how to do that,” he said morosely. “I’ve never wanted for companionship. Everyone knew going in it was going to be a night of unimaginable pleasures, but then we would part ways.”
“Unimaginable, huh? Not at all full of yourself, are you?”
Ivan snorted. “If you were not my brother, I would have had you on your knees within moments of meeting you. Bent over the couch not long after that.” He sighed. “What you’re asking for is… I don’t know if it’s something I am capable of.”
Teddy got up and sat beside Ivan. “Do you want me to be honest, or shall I lie to spare your feelings?”
Ivan scowled. “Those are my only options?”
“Afraid so.” Teddy shrugged. “Life isn’t easy. It’s even more complicated when you have someone you want to be with on a permanent basis. You need to be mindful of their feelings over your own. You’ve got to be willing to step up and show them your heart, and let them know they now own it and hope they’ll treat it gently, just as you would theirs.” He leaned closer, bumping shoulders. “You would treat his heart gently, right?”
Ivan blew out a breath. “I don’t know how to do gentle either,” Ivan admitted.
“Then you’ve got to learn. Jerome isn’t Cece or Damon. He’s not Alp or Mal. He’s broken. Hyde hurt him to his very soul, and he needs someone who can fiercely protect him, but who can also hold him when life gets to be too much. If you can be that person, then you need to show him.”
Ivan sighed. “What if I were to bring him flowers?” He shook his head. “No, that’s stupid. He would be unable to see them.”
“I think flowers would be a good start. He might not be able to see them on the mantel, but he could smell them, touch them. Believe it or not, you’d be doing him no favors by coddling him. His life will never be what it was, and he has to accept that. However, having you in his corner? Showing him you understand? That will go a long way toward making things better for both of you.”
“So no fucking?” Ivan whined.
“Not on the first date, no. At least not if you want him to come back to you.”
“But fucking is only thing I am good for.”
“Then it’s time you started working on your skillsets. Expand your horizons. Maybe by helping him you’ll also help yourself.”
Ivan pulled Teddy close, snuggling him like he did when they were kids. “I am glad I have you in my life, Theodore. I think you make me a better man.”
“You’ve always been a good guy, and that’s who Jerome needs to meet. Stop swaggering and giving him platitudes. Show him the heart you’ve got, and he’ll realize he can’t lose you.”
Ivan kissed his forehead. “ Spasibo , little brother.” He leaned back. “I am sorry for bringing my broken heart for you to mend. Please, tell me how your Byk is doing.”
“You can always talk to me about your life, but thank you for asking about Byk.” Teddy did his best to fill Ivan in on what was going on. When he finished, Ivan wrapped him in a tight hug and held on.
“I am so sorry, Theodore. Know that your Byk is strong, but having you in his corner will make him unstoppable. And we will always be by your side.” He made a face. One that Teddy knew well.
“What’s on your mind?”
Ivan gave a soft smile. “I love that no one knows me better than you. I have spoken with Cece and Damon. With Mal and Alp’s permission, I have asked to become part of your new pack.”
Teddy’s heart thudded. “Really?”
“Da. I find being away from my brother to be intolerable. I miss your smile. I miss your scent. My bear misses his home.”
“Yes! Absolutely. I would love for you to come here. But who would watch over the boys?”
“Wiley will be going abroad for school next year. Damon thinks it would do him good to expand his horizons. Micah has been accepted into an art college after someone sent them samples of his work.”
“Cece?”
A shrug. “Maybe.”
Teddy leaned back. “ You? ”
A nod. “He was constantly painting and had no peers. I wanted him to get out and see there was more to the world than what he put on the canvas. I spoke with the bunny’s mother, Nura, and she was more than happy to help me find the best place for him. I then asked Cece and Damon if I could do it, and they both told me that they appreciated the fact that I saw Micah and gave their blessings. He will be taking classes now, and then when he turns eighteen, he’ll transition to their program.” Ivan grinned. “He was angry at first, thinking his parents had done it, but when they assured him it wasn’t them, he was over-the-moon happy that someone liked his work.”
Teddy couldn’t wait to meet Alp’s mother. The stories he’d heard from Cece made his heart ache, as he missed being mothered sometimes. Then again, Byk did an amazing job of making Teddy feel loved and wanted, and he could make the most amazing desserts.
“They asked him where he wanted to go, and Damon spoke glowingly of art schools overseas, but Micah wanted to be close to home and immediately said MIT. I thought they were only for technology, but they apparently have an unparalleled arts program. They were delighted to meet with him, and after he showed them his portfolio, they agreed to let him take classes.”
“I’m glad for him. Wiley we always knew would be the best First. He has his father’s focus and his mother’s strength. Plus he has George, and that calms him and makes him compassionate.”
Teddy’s phone rang. He slid it from his pocket and saw Dr. Hamilton’s name. He answered quickly.
“We’re ready to begin. Byk is looking for you.”
Of course he was. Byk was nervous about what he’d find out, and he needed Teddy there. Though how he could help with the dreams, Teddy didn’t know.
“I’ll be right there.” He stood. “I have to go. They’re about to start the procedure.”
Ivan got up and gripped Teddy’s shoulder. “Let us go be there for our Byk.”
He would never be able to tell Ivan how much he appreciated the support.
When they got to the room, Lydia and Gwyneth stood over Byk and smiled down at him as Damon and Cece, Mal and Alp, as well as Wiley and Micah, watched from the outer office.
“Nervous?”
He glanced from person to person, letting his gaze linger on Teddy. “No. My family is here, so I’m fine.”
Gwyneth stroked a hand over Byk’s head. “You know that shifters can’t really be sedated normally. Well, they can, but the drugs they use have to be in such high concentrations that it could have serious side effects. What we’re going to do today is combine two different drugs. One that Lydia uses for her animals and one I use on people. Neither by itself would put you under at the dosages we’re using, but we feel that together they’ll work on both halves.”
“I understand.”
Gwyneth frowned. “This is risky, Callum. I mean, I don’t even want to tell you the odds of something going wrong, because they’re extremely high.”
Byk waved Teddy closer. When he got there, Byk took his hand. “We understand the risks, but this is something I need to do.” He sighed. “The voices are getting louder, more insistent. I feel like… I feel like they’re calling me from the other side. Like I’m dying, and the only way I can stop it is to find out what’s happening to me.”
Dr. Lydia nodded at Gwyneth, who wiped down Byk’s arm with an alcohol swab, the scent nearly overpowering to a shifter nose.
“Little pinch,” she said.
Byk didn’t even react when the needle slid through the skin and into his arm.
“It won’t take long,” Gwyneth said as she adjusted some valves. When she finished, she headed for the door. “I’ll turn off the lights and let the two of you talk a bit, okay?”
“Thank you, Gwyneth, Dr. Lydia. I—we—appreciate what you’re doing.”
The room went dark gradually, until the only lights came from the equipment the doctors were using. Even in this dimness, Teddy could see Byk perfectly. The tightness around his mouth, the pinch of his eyes, the tremble of his lip telegraphed to Teddy what was going on in Byk’s mind.
“You can’t hide from me, Byk,” he whispered.
“I wasn’t trying to, I promise. I told her I wasn’t nervous, but I am. I’m not sure what I’ll discover. I can’t be certain I’ll survive. Hyde stole a third of my life, and all I want is to carve out something for us. I want us to have a child, because despite what you say, regardless of the blood you think you have on your hands, you would be an amazing father.”
“I’ll make you a deal, yeah? You come back to me and we’ll see about adopting a child from here. One who’ll know we understand them, one who will look to us for direction and love.” He squeezed Byk’s hands, noting the chill of his fingers. “I can’t do this without you, so you need to come back to us.”
“I promise I will.”
Teddy could only pray to the Maker that it was a promise Byk could keep.
Byk couldn’t have been happier. Teddy declared he wanted a family. One they cobbled together from the broken pieces of lives in the complex that started with nothing but pain and death, but had been transformed by hard work into something of love.
If someone had told him a year ago he’d be living in Wald, that he’d actually wanted to be here, he would have laughed and said they were stupid. Who could want to live in a place where his brother died? Where Byk’s life was stripped away from him. Where…. But Hyde was dead. Those days were behind him. Now, everywhere he looked, Byk saw new lives forming. And his was one of them.
He’d come a long way in such a short time. From being trapped in a crap-filled room, with hooves that were rotting away, to a shed outside where he could smell clean air and nibble on blades of sweet grass, to being mated to a bear of a man who doted on him.
And yet, he was about to risk losing all that.
“Getting hard to think,” he murmured.
“Then close your eyes and rest,” Teddy said, brushing a hand over Byk’s head. “I’m right here and won’t be going anywhere.”
Byk nodded. Or at least thought he did. His limbs were heavy, his mind becoming more muddled as he slid toward unconsciousness. This was nothing like the experiments they’d forced on him. The sedation then had crushed his mind, dragging him under, giving him a feeling that he was drowning. This was different. He wasn’t sure if it was because Teddy was there, holding his hands, whispering he loved Byk, or if the doctors had come up with a cocktail that worked without worrying about killing him.
When he opened his eyes, the room was black as night. Even with his shifter senses, Byk felt as though he’d been wrapped in cotton batting. He couldn’t see. Couldn’t hear. Couldn’t touch. He tried to call out for Teddy, but his throat was raw. Had it—Teddy and Wald—all been a dream? Was he still locked away in the lab, waiting on the next experiment? No, it couldn’t be. He’d been with Teddy. Been filled by Teddy. No way could he have dreamed that.
Yet the darkness persisted. Deep, impenetrable.
Byk stayed rooted to the spot, uncertain which way he could move that would be safe. Where was Teddy? Why wasn’t he here? He was certain he’d fallen asleep in his arms last night, and Byk doubted anyone could have spirited him out of the room or Wald without being seen.
A pulse of light to the left caught Byk’s attention. It was so brief, he couldn’t be sure if he’d actually seen it or if it had been wishful thinking on his part.
“Hello?”
His words were swallowed up by the darkness. He cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted, but again, nothing seemed to come out. Fear trailed icy fingers along his spine. This was like one of the experiments they’d done on him, placing him in a traumatic situation, then observing him to see his reactions.
No, he couldn’t still be in the lab. It just wasn’t possible.
Another flash of light, this time to his right.
Enough is enough. I am not afraid. I will not be afraid.
“I know you’re there,” he cried.
This time his voice echoed.
“Afraid” came a whisper. “So afraid.”
“I am not afraid!”
“Need him. So lonely. So scared. Where is he?”
The pain in the voice was obvious. “Who are you looking for?”
The light flashed again, and this time, for the briefest of moments, Byk saw him, plain as day. The overly large body, the hair that hung down to his shoulders, but there was something there that Byk had never seen before.
Unbridled terror.
“Cooper?”
“Cooper? Yes, that was my name. I forgot.”
“Come out where I can see you,” Byk insisted.
“No, afraid. The light burns.”
The light burns? “It’s me, Callum.”
“Callum?” There was so much hope in that word. “I need Callum. I’m so afraid.”
“I’m right here, Cooper. Come out where I can see you.”
“Callum will be so afraid of me.”
Byk clenched his hands by his sides. “I won’t be, I promise. Come out.”
“Dying. Afraid. Lonely. Feel it all slipping away. Need Callum.”
“I’m here!” Byk cried, then plunged into the darkness toward the voice. When he burst into the light, Byk stood there and did his best not to scream. It was Cooper, strapped to a table, the bright lights shining down into eyes that were held open by staples. “Cooper!”
Around him people bustled, one barking orders, telling them to hurry. The top half of Cooper’s skull was ripped away, his brain exposed. Wires had been hooked up to the fleshy bits, and on one of the monitors, Byk could see the lights dancing. Cooper was crying, tears mixing with blood before running down his face, leaving behind crimsons streaks that then fell onto the crisp white sheet below.
“Hurts. Dying. Callum, please. Callum.”
“He’s not going to last much longer,” one of them said, probing Cooper’s brain. “We need to do this now.”
“Then do it! I want this done before he dies.”
The tech stepped forward, scalpel in hand, then sliced into Cooper’s brain. He arched his back, crying out as they removed bits of the muscle, then stabbed a needle in it, extracting fluid of some sort. Byk stood in mute horror as the scene progressed. Then the lights became even brighter and another table could be seen. The person on the table was… him? He didn’t remember any of this.
Without saying a word, the men and women around the table snipped chunks of Byk’s brain, tossing them into a pan, then replaced them with the bits they’d removed from Cooper. Byk watched, unable to move, as things progressed faster, like a movie on 3x speed. When they’d finished the surgery, they injected the fluid they’d removed from Cooper into Byk’s brain.
“Not my brother, please,” Cooper pleaded. “Not Callum! Take me instead. Leave him alone. If you hurt him, I’ll kill you!” He coughed, blood splattering the floor, and when he spoke again, his voice broke. “I’m sorry Callum, so sorry. I tried to keep them away from you. I didn’t want them to touch you. I shouldn’t have tried to make you stay. This is all my fault.”
“It’s done,” one of the doctors said.
“Then let’s finish this.”
They brought out prods and shocked Cooper, who screamed until his voice went out. He thrashed on the table, his muscles spasming and contorting as he assumed his other form. They continued the torture until his shift was completed. The transformation had done something to him. His head was misshapen, his eyes wide, and he was in obvious pain. Cooper lowered his head and gored one of the doctors, dark blood blossoming on their white coat. Another doctor screamed, and Cooper turned and went after her.
Then someone came in with a gun. They shot Cooper in the head, over and over. Still, Cooper fought. Finally one of the bullets hit the exposed brain, and it… splattered. Then, finally, Cooper Martin lay still, his eyes wide open, but unseeing, unmoving.
This was his brother’s final moments. This was the fear and anger that Byk had been enduring. They’d somehow put Cooper’s memories into his head, and they were tearing Byk apart.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Byk turned and found Cooper standing before him. Not as a bull, not as a test subject, but as he remembered him, all tawny skin stretched over a muscular frame. Handsome, gleaming hair, those amazing eyes. “Cooper?”
He smiled, such an alien reaction from him. “No, not Cooper. Well, not the one you remember. I never had the chance to tell you. No, that’s not true. I had plenty of chances, but never took any of them. I was a coward. So afraid of not being the golden boy, of disappointing everyone. Especially you.”
“Me?”
“You were my brother. For a while, you looked up to me, and I spat on that. I should have helped you become what it was you dreamed about. Instead, I only thought of you leaving me, of me being alone, and I panicked. I went after you, planned on begging you to take me with, to not leave me here. I… wanted to protect you. Or maybe for you to protect me.”
“From what?”
“Mom and Dad, they…. Everything was mortgaged. They were going to lose the farm. My winnings went out faster than they came in, and I was getting old for a bull. No one wanted to see me anymore, preferring younger ones. There were no new prizes. Dad came up with the idea of studding me. He… found these people could inject me with something that would keep me as a bull permanently. He planned to sell my spunk, to impregnate Highland cows. I tried to tell him it wouldn’t work. I was a shifter, so couldn’t get a cow pregnant. It didn’t matter. In the end, the lure of fast money made him go ahead with his plan. Those men were there to take both of us that night. I tried to fight them off, to keep them away from you, but… I failed you.”
Their parents did this? “How could they?”
Cooper shrugged. “Easy money. Dad liked it, feeling important in the herd. Then wanted to be part of a bigger group, but that would take more money. So he contacted a friend, who sent him a link to Hyde’s people. Had to wonder what Dad thought when he found out they were never intending on paying him. It made me think Hyde took him and Mom too. They might be dead.”
Fear and anger warred for supremacy. “This is bullshit! They were our fucking parents!”
“We stopped being useful to them,” Cooper confirmed. “It doesn’t help that there is a rot in the packs. A group who wants us outed to the world. I heard Hyde talking to someone on the phone, about getting irrefutable proof of the existence of shifters. That was his biggest reason for all the experiments. He wanted to present the findings to the world, to show them what lurks among them.” Cooper shimmered. “And they’re close.”
“No, the pack killed all the scientists.”
“Hyde was a small cog in a big machine. They’re not the only ones who have an interest here. There were men who came to witness some experiments. I think they were from the government, maybe the military. From what it sounded like, they want to weaponize shifters, use them in combat. To remove their empathy and turn them into mindless killing machines.”
It was horrifying in the extreme, and Byk believed it.
“I’ll tell Mal and Damon. They’ll know what to do.” He reached for Cooper, but his hand slid right through as though Cooper was nothing more than mist. “What happens to you?”
Cooper smiled. It was the dazzling smile that made people fall in love with him. “I’m not sure what you mean? I’m dead. I knew it when they shot me to keep me from getting to you.”
“You were… trying to save me?”
Cooper looked pained, his lips drawing into a harsh line “The day they tried to take us, I knew they were after you. I tried to yell for you to run. To get the hell out of there. I was going to cover you.” The image became fuzzy for a moment, before sharpening once again. “You’re my brother, and no matter how much of an asshole I was, I always loved you. I’m just sorry I had to die to be able to tell you.”
If he was dead, how could Byk be seeing him? “How are we talking?”
“We’re not. That day in the lab, they shot you up with my memories. All you’re hearing is what I remembered. What I wished I had time to say to you. That’s why I’m fading away too. They said the experiments were never expected to be permanent. It was supposed to be the first step toward perfecting failed research of years gone by. When they did them back then, the animals never retained them, but this? You and me? They thought the success was maybe because we were related. Whatever it was, we’ve moved them closer than they’d ever been before. You can’t let them take you again, because they won’t let you go. Callum, you have to know, the Chimera is coming, and he wants you.”
The what? “Cooper, I?—”
“Not Cooper, just his memory, but he knew you loved him too, so that made it okay for him to die if it could save you.”
He flickered again, this time looking like a washed-out copy of a copy. The memories of ball games that still resided in Byk’s mind faded, until they were fragments, and then even those were gone. Cooper was dying again, it seemed, and it was breaking Byk’s heart.
“I love you, Coop.”
He smiled and mouthed, “Love you, bro,” before he was gone for good, leaving behind only a vague remembrance of past thoughts. Byk closed his eyes, then felt warmth surround him. He lay quietly, trying to process what he’d seen. Mal and Damon needed to know this. Had to hear the truth.
Byk sat up and opened his eyes. Soft snuffling had him turning to find Teddy asleep, his fingers curled around Byk’s wrist. He wanted to sink into the feeling, but there was so much pain inside him. The things he knew, the stuff he saw.
“Teddy, wake up,” he called softly.
A quick jerk of the head, and Teddy was alert. “Byk!” He threw his arms around Byk’s shoulders, squeezing him close. “Are you okay?”
How could he answer that? “No, not remotely. I know what they did to me and… and….” He sniffled.
“What’s wrong?” Teddy murmured, pulling Byk closer.
“I need to see Mal and Damon. We’re… in trouble.”
In a heartbeat, the warmth was gone and icy tendrils pushed inside Byk once more. Teddy reached for his phone. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”
The words came haltingly, as Byk had to stop several times to receive comfort from Teddy. Each time he broke down, Teddy pulled him into an embrace and whispered how much he loved him in Byk’s ear. That, more than anything, gave him the strength to go on. When he finished speaking, Byk allowed Teddy to cradle him close.
“I’m sorry doesn’t sound strong enough. I wish I could do something—anything—to make this better for you.” He kissed Byk’s temple. “I love you so much.”
And Byk needed that right now. “I love you too.”
Teddy held 66his phone up. “Let me call Mal. I’ll tell him he needs to get Damon and they have to come here right away.”
“I’m sorry,” Byk whispered, even if he wasn’t sure why.
“Nothing to be sorry for. You’re giving us information we never would have had otherwise. Thanks to you, we might be able to save some lives.”
“Or end them. What he said…. I mean, what I remember….” Byk groaned. “I’m not even sure how to say it.”
“There is no right way. Say it, and we’ll hash it out later if necessary.”
“This thing about there being a rot in the packs. Do you think it’s true?”
Teddy tensed. “I know it is. Hiram sold us out, so how many other people did he talk to? And you said the government is involved, so that puts us in a scary position.”
Teddy pressed the screen on his phone, then tapped the Speaker button.
“Hey, Teddy! How’s it going? Is Byk awake?”
A glow filled Byk that Teddy’s family was calling him by the name he already thought of as his.
“I’m sorry, Wiley, but I really need to talk to your dad right away. It’s urgent.”
“Sure, one minute.”
A few seconds later, Cece came on the phone. “What’s going on?”
“I need to talk to?—”
“Damon, I know. Wiley told me that much. Talk to me. You never say it’s urgent.”
“I’m here with Byk—Callum—and he had… I don’t know. A vision?”
“I’m here, Teddy. Tell us what’s going on,” Damon said, his voice scratchy like he’d just woken up.
So Teddy went through everything Byk had told him, pausing several times to allow Damon or Cece to ask questions. When the story was done, Damon was growling.
“I wish we knew how bad this was going to be,” he snarled. “Are there other Firsts involved? This information is useless without context.”
Byk sniffled. Of course he couldn’t help. Why did he think he?—
“Damon, I love you and all, but if you don’t start thinking before you talk, I will sew your lips shut. Byk gave you a warning, which you didn’t have before. Regardless what we do or don’t know, he deserves effusive praise, do you understand me?”
A sigh. “Yes, you’re right. I’m so sorry, Byk. I—well, let’s just say my mouth goes places without my brain, and by the time it catches up, the mouth already has me in trouble. You did an amazing job, and I cannot express how grateful we are to you.”
“You are lucky you apologized,” Teddy snarled, his voice dark and husky. “I count you among my closest friends, but if you disrespect my mate again, we will have problems. Do you understand?”
Byk ran his fingers over the mark where Teddy had bitten him. Claimed him. Proved they belonged to each other. He couldn’t miss the puckers on the skin where the teeth had sunk in, and he lovingly stroked each one. He was going up against a First, and more amazingly, he was doing it for Byk.
“I think we all need to cool off,” Cece interjected. “Teddy, Damon is an idiot, which you’re well aware of, but he’s got a lot on his plate, and I ask you, as his mate and your friend, to please overlook his stupidity.”
Before Teddy could reply, Byk jumped into the conversation. “No, don’t fight. If what I found out is right, we already have enemies at the gates, and we don’t need to make them among our friends and allies.”
A hush fell over everyone until Cece chuckled. “He’s a good man, Teddy. You could not have asked for one better.”
Teddy smiled at Byk, whose face was hot, and nudged his shoulder. “I agree. Damon, please forgive me. It seems I have become very protective of what’s mine.”
“Nothing to forgive,” he assured Teddy. “It tells me your depth of feelings for Callum—Byk, I’m sorry—and I’m proud that another one of my boys found someone to love.”
“We’ll get Mal and gather in the meeting room,” Cece said. “I’ll bring Ivan along too.”
Byk hoped he could impress on them the danger that waited for them somewhere in the future.
Including whatever the Chimera was.
Byk had a feeling their lives were about to get way more difficult.