Chapter 23
Teddy never wanted to leave the room. After they had a shower, Teddy crawled in behind Byk to not only provide warmth and comfort, but to partake for himself. The truth was, he was exhausted both mentally and physically. He’d spoken of truths tonight that he hadn’t even shared with Ivan.
He and Byk lay on the bed, naked bodies entwined together, with Teddy holding his bull as close as possible. This, he decided, was right. This was where the Maker had steered him. To this time. To this man. He was here for the Maker’s purpose, he had only to figure out what it was.
Byk snuffled, rolled over, and buried his face in Teddy’s chest. Maybe that’s all he was here for, to provide for Byk. To show him a life existed beyond the pain. He slid thick fingers through Byk’s long hair, enjoying the silky strands as they glided over his skin.
Ivan didn’t know what he was missing out on. Sure, sex was probably great for him, but this feeling, being the other half of one person? There wasn’t anything like it that Teddy had ever experienced.
“Teddy?” came a sleep-filled voice. “I’m going to talk to Dr. Lydia,” he said, his voice filled with certainty. “I wasn’t sure before, but now? I want to find out why I can hear Connor in my head. I want to know what they did to us. Will you be with me?”
It hurt that Teddy couldn’t protect Byk from his past, but he would be his knight every day of the future the two of them shared.
“I will never walk away from you,” he promised.
“Thank you.”
Teddy chuckled. “You never have to thank your mate.”
“Love you.”
And then Byk was asleep again. It scared Teddy that Byk might die, but what worried him more was the fact that Byk might never be whole until he faced those fears that had set up residence inside him.
“Maker, I know we’ve had our differences, but I will give my all for this man. Thank you for bringing us together.”
Another soft kiss, and Teddy fell asleep too.
“He’s going into shock.”
“No, open the valve on the sevoflurane to maximum.”
“As weak as he is, that might kill him!”
A dark laugh. “Doesn’t matter. Look at him. He wasn’t going to live anyway. Besides, we have another use for him after this is all over.”
Byk lurched up, his eyes wide. What the hell was that? Every time he thought he had come to terms, something new wormed its way into his brain. He couldn’t see, but hearing was bad enough. There’d been so many clicks and whirs, beeps, and chirps.
“Byk?” Teddy sat up and scrubbed a hand over his eyes. “Another nightmare?”
He wanted to say yes, but it hadn’t been. It was… something else. “I don’t think they’re dreams,” he rasped out, clutching the blankets in his fists.
He was enveloped in Teddy’s arms. “What do you think they were, then?”
That was a good question. They were too real, too raw. They weren’t disjointed like dreams usually were. “I think they were memories.”
“Okay.” Teddy reached over and picked up his phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Calling Dr. Hamilton,” he replied, pressing a button on the screen.
“Teddy, it’s three in the morning.”
“Good morning, Dr. Hamilton. … Sorry, Lydia. I apologize for waking you, but—” He turned to Byk. “She wasn’t asleep. She was running tests on Dobie’s latest exam.”
That didn’t make Byk feel any better. Everyone needed sleep, and the vet who was in charge of caring for everyone in Wald seemed to get so little. She was a nice woman, older, with hair that was mostly gray by now. Byk felt the pressures of Wald pack were weighing on her greatly. He found it amazing that a human cared that passionately about shifters, when some of their own people didn’t.
“We—Byk and I—were wondering if there was a way to make him rest for several hours? He’s been having these… I’m going to say visions, and he says they’re more prevalent when he’s asleep. He thinks they hold the key to whatever is going on with his head.”
Byk waited, listening to Teddy’s side of the conversation, wondering what the doctor was saying.
“No, I understand perfectly. That’s wise.”
She’d said no, of course. Why wouldn’t she? It did hurt a little that Teddy wouldn’t even argue the matter. Maybe he didn’t think there was anything wrong with Byk. Maybe he’d just been placating him. Maybe….
Teddy pressed the mute button, then turned to Byk. “She’ll do it, but she needs to have Gwyneth here in case your human side requires help.”
That surprised Byk. Then again, most things in this pack did. “Please tell her I said thank you.” Even though he’d been certain she wouldn’t. Dr. Lydia was an amazing person. Byk wished every shifter leader—no, every shifter—could sit down and take classes on empathy with her. He knew not all humans were like her. He’d dealt with Hyde, after all. But he wanted to believe more were like Dr. Lydia than that psychopath.
Teddy said good night, then put his phone back on the nightstand. He wrestled Byk down onto the bed, then encompassed him in that warmth once more.
“She’ll talk to Gwyneth tomorrow and check in with us when she comes in to see her patients.”
“Thank you. I know you’re worried. So am I. But this is…. Teddy, I have to wonder if I’m insane. I keep hearing these voices, and they’re not all Cooper’s now. There are others, and I think it was something that happened here.”
Teddy drew the blanket up, covering them both. Seeing as how shifters tended to run warm, they didn’t need it. Still, it was comfortable and infused with Teddy’s scent, and it was that which allowed him to drift off to?—
“Callum! Callum! You have to—Callum!”
Heart hammering, Byk lurched up. Once again Coop’s voice invaded his dreams, but now it was louder, much more insistent. He glanced over and found Teddy still asleep. That was one small thing Byk was grateful for. He’d kept Teddy awake too often, and he needed rest. He slid out of bed and put on his clothes. There wouldn’t be any sleep now, especially since his brain was racing.
Byk left the room, quietly closing the door behind him, then headed down to the kitchen. As soon as he walked in, he detected the sweet aroma of hazelnuts, and his mouth watered. It didn’t make any sense, though. He hated hazelnut. Cooper was… no. Why was he craving something that Cooper enjoyed? Why was he hearing his brother in his head? Why had he attacked Teddy, claiming to be Cooper?
He sat at one of the tables and dropped his head onto his folded arms. Everything was going wrong. Teddy had mated a freak. Everyone would be better off if Byk left Wald and hid out in the woods. No one would have to deal with him there. He could be free. He could?—
“Sitting alone in the dark?”
Teddy jerked up and found Sonia dipping her finger into batter, then popping it into her mouth.
“Oh, hi. I’m sorry I haven’t been by recently. Things have been….” He bit back a sob.
“Rough?” She took a seat beside him and rubbed a hand over his back. Normally he’d bristle at someone he didn’t know touching him, but right now, he needed this. He nodded sharply.
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“When you’re in a dark place, and you don’t see a way to get out of the hole you’re finding yourself sinking deeper and deeper into, do what I do. Head to the kitchen and pig out. Well, bull out in your case, I guess. It won’t make the problems go away, but it does make them tastier.” She put the bowl on the table in front of Byk. “Normally I’d insist on utensils, but today seems like it’s made for being bad.”
Teddy followed suit and stuck a finger into the thick goop, then brought it to his mouth. Rich and decadent, he fell for it instantly. “This is amazing.”
“Just remember, you have to share it.”
He pushed it toward her, and she smiled at him.
“No, hon. Not with me.”
“Byk?”
He turned and found Teddy standing there. “Hey.”
“Nightmares again?”
He nodded, then finally dissolved into tears. “Something is wrong with me.”
“And we’ll find out what that is together.” He smiled at Sonia. “Thank you for calling me.”
“Anytime.” She got up and took a step for the door, then stopped. “Callum? I hope you get this all worked out.”
“Thank you for caring,” he said softly.
She snorted. “Caring? Boy, I want you in here to do your damn job. I don’t wanna be the only one baking.” Then she came back and hugged him, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. “It’ll be okay. Your mate will take care of you.”
“How’d you know?”
“Not hard to tell. The way you two look at each other lets me know everything I need to.” She turned to Teddy. “Don’t let him walk away again.”
“I won’t,” he vowed, then got up and pulled her into a hug.
After Sonia left, Teddy returned to his seat. He dipped a finger into the chocolate, then slipped it into his mouth. “Good stuff,” he declared. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
Byk sighed. “You haven’t been getting any sleep. You’ve been with me so much, you’re not getting the work done you’re here for. All I’m doing is causing you problems.”
Faster than Byk could process, Teddy was up and had Byk lifted off his feet. “You listen to me. You’re my mate. The only one I’m ever going to have. The only one I will want. The Maker brought us together, and I love the fuck out of you. This path we’re on? It’s not one I envisioned, but it’s one you’re traveling, so I’m going to be right there with you. Do you understand that?”
“But why?” Byk whimpered, shame coursing through him. His whole life he’d been someone’s problem, and Teddy was the last in the long line of people who Callum had failed.
Teddy sighed and put Byk back down. “Okay, I’m sorry. I forget you didn’t have the best family life growing up. In our house there was a lot of problems, but we knew our parents still loved us. Well, mostly. Mom did, of that we were certain. Dad was a lot more… ambivalent. We were his workforce, so he cared that we’d be able to work in the fields or get the canning done. What I’m saying is, you never knew what real love was. I did. And if you’re patient with me, I’ll be happy to teach you everything I know.”
Sometimes Byk forgot that good people existed. His teacher, who gave him the love of baking, Mal and Alp, who were working hard to give homes to those Hyde had hurt so badly, and his Teddy, who could have walked away, but instead chose to stay and fight for them to have a life together.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. You’ve been in a horrible situation for years, and I know trust takes time to build. We have that, I swear. I’m not going anywhere unless you’re by my side. Got it?”
Byk nodded. “Can we go back to bed?”
“How about a quick romp outside to exhaust us? You need a good shift to help.” Teddy gave a sheepish smile as he picked up the bowl again. “But would it be okay if we finish the chocolate first? Seems a shame to let it go to waste.”
Teddy sat quietly in the corner, trusting Byk to do what he thought best. In truth, he’d rather drag him out of here and back to their room, but over the last three days, the nightmares were coming faster and faster. Earlier this morning, Byk lashed out at Teddy, and in those eyes he loved, Teddy could see nothing but hatred burning in them. This had to end if, for no other reason than to preserve Byk’s sanity, which was fraying.
He was grateful that Gwyneth had come with Damon, Cece, Ivan, and the boys. He needed his family to prop him up right now, especially so he could support Byk.
“It’s imperative you understand the risks, Callum.”
He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “Byk. My name is Byk.”
Gwyneth smiled and dipped her chin slightly. “Of course. My apologies.”
Teddy knew that after the earlier episode, he was reminding himself who he was and who he belonged with. Outside the door, Teddy could smell Cece and Damon, as well as Wiley and Micah. They’d come to lend support. The one scent that comforted him most—beyond Byk’s—was Ivan. There was sadness there, and Teddy wanted nothing more than to go to him and fix it. Ivan assured him he would be fine, but Teddy didn’t believe it.
“I understand.”
And Teddy knew he did. They’d talked a lot over the last few days, and Byk had brought up the fact that he could potentially die on the table. As much as it pained Teddy to hear it, he knew Byk was preparing him for the eventuality.
“And you’re sure you want to go through with this?” Dr. Lydia asked, her nervousness obvious. “It’s not something we’d do for a human. At least I’ve never heard of it. Then again, this isn’t exactly a normal situation. I hope the Devil is slow-roasting Hyde on a spit.”
Yes, Dr. Lydia might be the one Teddy held up as an example of a good human, but she was also a mother. She’d mentioned seeing her daughter’s face whenever she looked into the eyes of the shifters that Hyde had maimed, and though it wasn’t who she wanted to be, she discovered the kernel of hatred that dwelled in her heart, and she didn’t like it at all.
“I need to do it,” Byk replied, his tone flat.
Gwyneth looked at Dr. Lydia, who nodded. “When do you want to start?”
Teddy gripped Byk’s hand, willing his strength to bolster it for both of them.
“Today? Now?”
A soft smile from Gwyneth. “I figured you’d say that.” She glanced toward Teddy. “Will you be here for the procedure?”
“You cannot make me leave.”
“Good. We’ll get to work, but why don’t you give us a bit to get everything set. Go talk to Damon and his family, and check in on Ivan. He’s been extra surly of late.”
Of course he had. Despite what he believed, Ivan’s bear was pining for his mate. Teddy hadn’t seen Jerome lately, and he could only guess that he’d locked himself away from the world once more, feeling broken over the things that were stolen from him.
Maker, I know it’s uncharitable, but if you could make Hyde suffer for us, we would deeply appreciate it.
He kissed Byk, who clutched Teddy’s neck and held him. Teddy could feel the fear rolling off the slender form. “Shall I stay with you, Byk?”
He shook his head. “No, go talk with the rest of our family.”
Those words both shocked and excited Teddy. “You said our family.”
“I did. I always thought those we were born to were the only family we’d have, but you’ve shown me that the people we hold close to us, the ones most dear, are family we’ve created in our hearts. I thought I was alone in the world, but now I’m discovering that I have you, Ivan, Alp, Mal, Dr. Lydia, Sonia…. And the amazing and scary thing? I have more coming into my life every day. It fills my heart to bursting.”
The hope in Byk’s voice wormed its way into Teddy, filling him with the same feeling. This would work. This will work.
Because Teddy wouldn’t accept anything else.