Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
OLLIE
Luca was fucking with my brain.
Watching him during the sound check was a revelation. Sure, I’d seen videos of him performing, but this…was different.
He was performing for me. Despite everyone watching, I was the one he gave all his attention to. The one he didn’t take his eyes off.
That kind of attention was dangerous to someone like me. I’d lived my life surviving on the barest scraps. What Luca was offering was a full five-course meal.
But a meal like that wouldn’t last. Before I knew it, I’d be back to living off scraps, my body aching now it knew what it was like to be truly satisfied and fulfilled.
If I thought watching him perform the first song was bad enough, it was nothing compared to the second. When Kai started playing the opening to “Something”, Luca obviously hadn’t been expecting it.
I’d heard the song before. Even if it hadn’t lived in the charts for many weeks, listening to Caffeine Daydreams’ back catalogue was the guilty pleasure I gave in to during the darkest hours.
That and jerking off to thoughts of the lead singer on his knees for me.
So yeah, I knew the song. But as Luca rasped the lyrics, his eyes asking for things I dared not believe, I heard it in a way I never had before.
When it finished, he stepped towards me, and I found myself hoping. Despite everything…every reason why I shouldn’t go there, I stepped towards him.
Only for him to snap into professional mode. Of course I’d read the situation wrong. As a journalist, you’d think I’d be better at reading people. Fuck, given my upbringing, I should be better.
But everything about Luca threw me off.
After his brush-off, I’d kept a low profile for the rest of the day.
Even though my article wasn’t due until the end of the week, I’d already gathered enough material from the other band members to get writing.
This piece would focus on the build-up to a show, covering everything from their prep to how their dynamics worked on and off stage.
Their official dynamics, that was. Although I knew my editor would have my balls, there’d be no mention of the tension lingering between Arlo and Luca’s bodyguard. No reference to the longing looks Kai threw at Silas whenever his back was turned.
And certainly nothing related to what had passed between Luca and me during the sound check. But that was more because the connection was all in my head, a product of my obsession and overactive imagination.
Honestly, thinking about it now, the way I’d stripped Luca with my eyes made me blush.
When the crowds began filling the stadium, I tucked my laptop away.
The band was chilling in the so-called green room, munching on Maltesers and M&Ms. Arlo and Silas had extended invitations for me to join them, but I’d refused.
I wasn’t going to fuck around with Luca behind closed doors only to have him treat me with disinterest in public.
Maybe I was being too harsh. After all, I was the one who’d told him we needed professional boundaries.
Could I really be mad at him for taking me at my word?
“Where are you going?”
Jack’s surly expression had me phrasing my answer as a question. “Umm, to my seat?”
He grunted. “Plan’s changed. You’ll be watching from the front of the stage with me.”
I shifted on my feet, torn between wanting to be professional and reluctant to be up close while drooling over Luca on stage. “Who authorised this?”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Who do you think?”
It seemed Luca wasn’t done fucking with me today. “Of course he did. Okay, lead the way.”
I trailed after Jack as he wound around the barriers to a small gap at the front of the stage.
The pit was crammed full of fans of all ages.
Like with all Caffeine Daydreams’ shows, there were various hilarious signs and countless T-shirts bearing the familiar band logo.
Even with nothing but an empty stage before them, they were leaning over the barriers, their excitement palpable in the air.
Not that the stage was going to be empty for long. The supporting act, an upcoming pop-punk group called Eden Project, was filing out and grabbing their instruments.
The enthusiastic roar from the crowd had me grinning.
A band as big as Caffeine Daydreams could have their pick of support acts.
But I’d heard from Arlo and Silas that they always chose artists on the brink of breaking into the limelight.
It was apparently something Luca had insisted on from the beginning, claiming their launch into stardom had been based on luck as much as talent.
And that now they’d hit the big time, it was their responsibility to help give other artists the same opportunity.
While Eden Project was good, I couldn’t help counting down the minutes until Luca took the stage. I shouldn’t want this. Watching him perform during the sound check had been one thing, but this? In his element?
It was going to drive me crazy.
Eden Project left the stage to cheers and hollers. The lights dimmed and the stage crew ran to switch out the instruments. All around me, the buzz of anticipation increased as the fans waited for Caffeine Daydreams to appear.
The lights cut out, plunging the arena into darkness. An excited hum began to rumble over the stadium.
There was a strum of a guitar.
The tapping of drumsticks.
Then the sound of Luca’s husky voice rolled through the speakers.
Don’t worry about me, darling
You’ve always had me on my knees
Because your love is a poison
Yet you’re still the one I need
On the final word, the lights went up, and the roar of the crowd almost frightened me off my feet. Jack put his hand on my shoulder to steady me, but I barely noticed him.
All I could see was Luca.
His white cotton shirt hung open, his skin golden under the spotlights.
Against his chest sat the necklaces I remembered loosening that day in the lift.
Tight faux-leather trousers wrapped around his long legs, so tight I was convinced you could see his dick imprint.
Dark liner made his eyes pop, the green looking more surreal than ever.
His hair was mussed like he’d just stepped out of the shower and roughly towel-dried it.
Or like he’d been on his knees while someone ran their hands through it.
My blood rushed south at the thought, my balls pulling up tight. Get it together, Ollie.
Luca had his hands around the mic stand, singing into it like it was his lover and the lyrics were the dirty things he wanted to do to them.
When the chorus kicked in, Luca yanked the mic from the stand and sauntered across the stage. His arrogant smirk had his fans going wild. They threw hats, flags, and even a plastic cup or two.
There was no denying this was Luca in his element. He wasn’t one of those stars who shunned the limelight. He thrived in it. This might not be the real Luca, but it was a persona he donned like armour. A persona he clearly loved.
Like everyone else, I knew all the words. I tried not to sing along, but I couldn’t help it. I could’ve blamed it on the energy pulsing through the arena, but it wasn’t that.
It was all Luca.
He worked the crowd like the pro he was, dancing suggestively, bending over and singing to fans. Blowing kisses and just generally having everyone melt under his attention. Luca was the king of the stage, and he knew it, strutting across the space—sex dripping off him with every step he took.
But that wasn’t what had my mouth watering, my fingers itching to explore him. No, that was all down to the expression on his face. The fierce joy that lit him from within as he gave the song his heart and soul.
After the first song, he returned to the mic stand, pushing his hair off his face as he grinned at the crowd. “Hello, Roma!”
They screamed back in response, making Luca chuckle deeply into the microphone. “Looks like we’ve got a rowdy lot here tonight. Are you ready to make them hear you all over the city?”
I winced at the wall of noise that hit me. Beside me, Jack rolled his eyes. Unlike me, he had earplugs in. That was smart. I should probably invest in a pair if I wanted my hearing to survive intact.
Not for the first few shows though. I didn’t want to miss a second of Luca in all his glory.
Luca introduced the band members like the audience didn’t have their names written on signs, T-shirts, and in a few cases, their chests. I barely paid attention to any of them, unable to look away from the frontman.
Luca hadn’t so much as glanced at me, which was a good thing. It meant I didn’t need to worry about the fact I was openly drooling over him.
Because how could I not? There was something enigmatic about watching him perform. It wasn’t his fame. It wasn’t even the actual performance.
It was just…him. His love for life made me want to pin him to a flat surface and try the things I’d only seen in porn.
As the concert went on, I found myself dancing along to the music, shouting the words as loudly as the fans behind me. Jack’s mouth twitched with laughter, but I didn’t care. I highly doubted he’d tell any of them about this when he barely seemed to speak a full sentence at a time.
I was having fun. For the first time in…fuck. I didn’t even know how long.
The tempo increased as Arlo smashed out a familiar beat. My mouth dried in response, knowing what was coming. This was the song Luca had tortured me with during the sound check.
“Tease” was exactly what it sounded like. It was filthy, dirty, desperate. All the things Luca made me feel.
Had I watched him perform it in the dead of night, remembering how it felt to have his hands on me?
Yes. But I’d never admit it aloud.
Luca pulled the mic free, crossing over to the side of the stage I was on. He stopped dead in front of me, the words falling like poisoned honey from his lips.
His hooded gaze didn’t leave mine as he dropped to his knees. Sweat glistened along his chest and abs.
Don’t say you don’t want me, baby
Because you know how I’ll take that maybe
And tease you until you can’t think
Until you’re ready for me to sink…
The crowd took up the final part of the lyric as Luca sucked a finger into his mouth. As they chanted ‘lower, lower, lower’, that fucking tease ran his finger slowly down his body. His thighs spread wide, his hips gyrating like he was fucking someone.
I was frozen in place, utterly transfixed by Luca. There might as well have been an empty stadium behind us, given all the attention either of us was paying them. There was just the two of us for a heartbeat, the tension stretching to a breaking point.
His hand stopped at the button of his trousers, and I sucked in a breath. My eyes flew up to Luca’s in alarm, only to see him wink.
In one lithe movement, he jumped to his feet, singing the next verse as he strode to the other side of the stage.
A bottle of water was pressed into my hand. I glanced up to see Jack glaring at me with a pinched expression. He leaned close so I could hear him over the music. “You look thirsty.”
I nodded in thanks, trying to calm my flaming cheeks.
“You need to be more subtle,” Jack said before turning back to the stage.
“There’s nothing going on,” I shouted back.
Jack clapped me on the shoulder. “If there’s not, there will be. Just be careful. That’s all I’m saying.”
Unsure of what to say, I drank some more water. Luca was back in front of me, but the teasing from earlier was missing now. Instead, he raised an eyebrow as he sang, like he was asking me if I was okay.
I gave him a thin smile in response.
No, I wasn’t okay. I was a fucking idiot.
Because Jack was right. Nothing might be happening right now, but it was going to.
I didn’t know who I’d been kidding, but there was no way I would be able to resist Luca if he came at me again.
I didn’t want to.
I was going to do this, knowing it was wrong. That it would lead to pain for me. I wouldn’t be able to get involved with Luca without feelings entering the mix. If we were caught, I’d be risking my entire career.
So yeah, I was a fucking idiot. Because I knew all of that as well as I knew my own name.
Yet I was going to do it anyway.
Because even a taste of Luca would be worth any risk that followed.