Chapter 6
Chapter Six
SILAS
If you’d told me as a child that I’d be living the perfect life, there wasn’t a chance I’d have believed you.
But here I was.
The stage lights were blinding, my earpiece doing little to drown out the roar of the crowd as my palm slapped against the bass.
We were five weeks into our six-week tour. An exhausting slog across twelve cities, playing a total of eighteen shows.
I’d loved every fucking second.
Up here, on stage, was where I was happiest. Why wouldn’t I be?
I was literally living out my wildest dreams. It was so many miles from my childhood in every possible way.
Not that Frank didn’t still pop up from time to time.
While my mum had stayed noticeably absent, he’d given interviews to whatever media outlet would pay him, selling them whatever stories they wanted to hear.
Kai had stayed true to his word. He was the one who worked with our lawyers and management to keep Frank down where they could. And when they couldn’t? Kai would take me out and distract me with reminders of how great our life was now.
It was great. The best. And having my best friend at my side was the cherry on the cake.
Kai stepped into my eyeline, his brow furrowed with concentration as he flew through his solo. Little did I know that when I saved him from a beating all those years ago, he was hiding this magnificent talent.
What had started as us hiding away from the real world with our guitars progressed into something more serious when we joined forces with Arlo and Luca.
Our band practices had morphed into playing wherever we could get into.
Weekends were spent performing on street corners during the day and whatever pub would let us in during the evenings.
We’d got lucky. Don’t get me wrong, we were a talented bunch of fuckers, and we knew it. But if it hadn’t been for that video of us busking outside West Quay shopping centre going viral, Caffeine Daydreams wouldn’t be what it is today.
Arguably the most famous rock band in the Western world.
Obviously, this was amazing. Magnificent. Unbelievable. There weren’t enough adjectives to describe how great this life was.
Yet I missed those quiet sessions with just Kai and me. The hours spent scrawling lyrics and playing with chords. We still did that, but now there were always other people around.
Even though Kai was right beside me…sometimes, I missed him. Missed what we once were in the privacy of his garage.
It was a small price to pay to be living my dreams. It wasn’t like I’d left him behind. He was literally six feet away from me, his head tipped back as he played through the final notes of his solo. His dreads were pulled back in a bun. Eyes closed, he swayed on the spot, totally lost in the music.
It was my favourite time to watch him.
That day we’d met in the woods was the only time Kai had allowed me to have his back. The dude was overprotective of everyone—his parents, his siblings, his dates.
But with me? Kai took it to a whole new level. Even now, with Frank having been silent for years, he couldn’t help but look after me. Whether bringing me coffee or reminding me to eat, he was always thinking of me.
On stage was the only place he seemed to truly let go long enough for me to watch him. To check he was okay.
Other than looking slightly exhausted, unsurprising given our hectic schedule, Kai looked fine. Great even.
Satisfied, I nodded along with the beat, my fingers flying over my bass. Sweat ran freely down my torso, soaking my shirt to me. Maybe I needed to take a leaf from our lead singer’s book.
Luca had taken to performing shirtless, something our fans were very appreciative of if the clips circling TikTok were any indication.
But there was only one fan Luca was doing it for, and he was stood right in front of the stage watching our lead singer like a hawk.
Ollie was a journalist who’d joined us to report on our tour.
Seemed innocent enough until you heard the whole story.
Ollie might’ve met all of us that first day of the tour, but his first meeting with Luca had happened months before.
After being stranded in a lift together for several hours, the two had parted ways.
Luca had been surprisingly tight-lipped about what exactly had happened, but an obsession had been borne that none of us could escape.
Needing to see him again, the sneaky git had pulled every string at his disposal to get Ollie on this tour with us.
There was no judgment from me though. I’d yet to fall in love, but if I ever found the right girl, I’d move heaven and earth to be with her. I’d fight dirty and play whatever card I could to get her to give me a chance.
From the way Ollie was watching Luca—like he was two songs away from leaping onto the stage and devouring him—the feeling seemed to be mutual. I might not be the best at reading people, but you’d have to be missing the majority of your brain cells to not spot the raw chemistry there.
Arlo began tapping out the opening beat of “Tease,” and I couldn’t stop my smile from spreading. The audience was chanting, waiting for Luca to do what he’d done every other night of this tour.
Kneel. Kneel. Kneel.
That wasn’t what had me smiling though. No. Luca wasn’t the only one who liked to tease during this number.
Kai shot me a warning look over his shoulder as I prowled towards him. I paused, still strumming as I waggled my eyebrows at him.
Come on. Play with me.
He rolled his eyes, and triumph flared in me.
I wasn’t sure how this had all started. At first, it was just banter between us on stage. Over time, though, we’d started to dance together.
Whenever we did, the crowd went wild.
And the dirtier we were, the wilder they went.
I crossed the stage, stopping behind Kai.
This part of the song didn’t require any bass, so I slung it behind me, leaving the front of my body free.
Kai muttered a curse, knowing what was coming.
But I knew he didn’t mind. This is just what we did.
If I thought for a second he actually meant those complaints, I’d never touch him again.
I knew my best friend like the back of my hand. Kai didn’t have any issues with what we did on stage. He just lived for complaining. He was a grumpy fucker through and through. We wouldn’t be us if we didn’t give each other shit over stuff like this.
Being only a couple of inches shorter than Kai made it easy to mould my body to his. Pressing close to his back, I hooked my chin over his shoulder, burying my face in his neck as I gyrated against him. My hands weren’t idle either, sliding over his muscled chest suggestively.
The crowd screamed their appreciation. To his credit, Kai didn’t drop a single chord while I straight-up felt him up. I dipped my hands beneath his guitar, grinning as his breath hitched.
“Easy,” I whispered. “All part of the show.”
He grunted but let a satisfied smirk glide over his face. Kai didn’t have to worry about me stealing his virtue. With his guitar hiding what I was doing, the audience was free to let their imaginations get as dirty as they liked.
Kai and I knew this was all pretend. My hands always stopped a respectful distance from his waistband.
My best friend had fully leaned into it now. His head dropped back, his cheek brushing mine. If I didn’t know better, I’d think his hooded eyes were down to lust. He twisted so his mouth was only an inch away from mine. I could feel his hot breath mixing with my own as we sang the lyrics.
Don’t say you don’t want me, baby
Because you know how I’ll take that maybe
And tease you until you can’t think
Neither of us had a microphone, but that didn’t stop us from singing along with Luca. Our fans loved this part. I’d seen the comments online. They liked to think we were singing this to each other rather than what was actually happening.
Kai and I weren’t doing this to tease each other but the audience.
I wasn’t stupid. I’d seen the articles, Tweets, and TikToks hinting that something more was happening between us.
The speculation had begun long before we started interacting this way on stage.
It was bound to happen, given how close we were.
From the very start, wherever I went, Kai followed.
We were housemates, bandmates, and best friends.
He was the one who’d single-handedly got me through my turbulent teen years.
When he’d realised he was gay, I was the first person he shared it with.
When Kai came out publicly, the speculation increased exponentially. In a way, I think that might’ve been what had started this whole little routine. The press was too busy debating whether we were together to pay much attention to what Kai was actually up to.
There was no denying that the dating lives of my bandmates were under the spotlight far more than mine.
Which was fucking ridiculous if you asked me.
No one deserved to have their personal life scrutinised in the way my bandmates did.
It shouldn’t matter what your sexual orientation was. It never had to me.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t a message the press had received.
By leaning into the flirtation between us on stage but never confirming anything, I kept the spotlight off Kai’s real love life.
Not that he had much of one, to be fair, but it was only a matter of time before he found that special someone and settled down.
Kai was too loving, too loyal, too committed. He’d find his person one day.
Selfishly, I hoped we had a few more years together before that happened. When it did, I’d have to accept that there’d be someone in his life that he’d put before me. Someone else who’d be the person he’d celebrate his successes with. Someone else to hold him during the hard times.
I could accept that…right?