THREE
Lincoln
Six Months Ago
I tapped my pencil against the desk rhythmically, the sound of shuffling papers and whispered words floated around me and pulled me out of the zone I had entered. Though it was only for a short time that I was able to actually stay in that zone.
The library distracted me. The people, the things they were talking about, the books around me taunted me with better material to read than my textbooks.
I could not focus here.
But I had been instructed to be here, to meet my new tutor who would hopefully help me pull my head out of my ass and get a better grade so that I could continue to play hockey in college before I left for the pros.
Technically speaking, I thought I could drop out of college right now and go on to be a pro, but that wasn’t the plan.
The plan was to get a degree so that I would have a fallback, but that was becoming more and more of a hassle for me when I knew that I could get bumped up even now at the age of twenty.
Sure, it would be overwhelming, and there would be a lot more work involved at that level, but I could do it. I knew I could.
I was a damn good player, and while my stats could tell anyone that, I knew it in my being that I was meant to be a hockey player for as long as possible.
When Coach Mitchum had joined our school over the summer, I had been shocked but ecstatic. He was a world-renowned player, playing against some of the toughest teams in the league and coming out on top, before going on to coach a team professionally in the pros before coming to our school.
We were excited to have him here.
He knew how to talk to us, how to show us what he’s asking, and keeping us in a firm reality while giving us the praise we needed.
So, failing wasn’t an option. I didn’t want to let myself down; I didn’t want to let my parents or my sister down, and now I didn’t want to let Coach down.
A soft clearing of someone’s throat pulled me out of my thoughts, and I blinked, my pencil ceasing its tapping against the desk and looked up.
Shock took over.
“No fucking way.” Somehow, I kept my voice at a dull roar in the quiet space.
“I’m not happy about it either.” Cassie, a.k.a. the she-devil, glared over at me as she set her things on the table and sat in the chair directly to my left.
I ran my hand over my head, unable to tear my eyes from her face. “This has got to be a joke.”
For one tiny split second, I swear hurt crossed her face, but before I could decipher that, she glared back at me. “You need to get your grade up, and I happen to be a master’s student in the English program. Coach Mitchum reached out to me to help.”
“How do you even know Coach?”
“I met him at your game. You stood right there.”
Right, that was weeks ago.
I couldn’t fucking sit here and pretend that there wasn’t other shit going on. That I didn’t know that my best friend—or former best friend at the moment—had asked Cassie out, and she said yes. That she was essentially dating Crew after I asked him point blank not to go there with her, and he fucking did it anyway.
Such a dick.
“Well, still, there’s got to be someone better than you.” I realized then that it’s probably not the right thing to say, but well, I’ve never been very good at keeping my foot out of my mouth.
Cassie sighed, and if I looked closely enough, I could see dark circles under her eyes, and I briefly wondered if she wasn’t sleeping. What was keeping her up at night? Was it Crew? Was it school?
Why do you fucking care?
“I don’t want to be here, Ellis, but I don’t really have a choice, either.”
“And why is that?” I leaned back in my chair, my muscles protesting the movement after two hours of drills that afternoon.
All I’d wanted to do after practice was go home and crash on my bed, not sit and work on homework so I didn’t get kicked out of school.
“You’re Mickey’s brother. She would be devastated if you lost your place on the team.”
Her words humbled me immediately, but I wouldn’t let that show. I wouldn’t let her get the better of me and show her that I was freaking the fuck out over this whole situation. I couldn’t let her see that side of me.
“Whatever.” I sat forward and rubbed my head.
“So, tell me what we’re working with,” Cassie started, and reluctantly, I told her exactly what she needed to know, what I was struggling with and why.
She sat patiently and watched my face, her eyes glancing down at the papers and books every few minutes to see what I’d point to, but she kept her eyes coming back to my face, her focus unreal.
“Okay, this isn’t as bad as I thought—hey.” She snapped her fingers in my face and frowned. “What happened just now?”
“What?” I blinked and looked back at her.
“You completely zoned out as soon as I started talking.” Her tone was pissed off, with only a hint of concern.
I shook my head. “Sorry, that’s what happens when I’m in this fucking loud library.”
Cassie glared at me. “Seriously? Loud library?”
“It is fucking loud,” I whispered at her, leaning closer than I probably should have. “I can’t fucking focus.”
She sighed and rolled her shoulders, seemingly trying to shake the tension from them. “Okay, fine. Don’t take this seriously then.”
Suddenly, she stood from where she was sitting and grabbed her bag that she never even took anything out of.
I frowned severely at her. “What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving,” she stated simply, not looking at me.
“What? You can’t leave, I need help.”
She turned her glare on me, and suddenly I’m transported back to last year, when I didn’t know who Cassie was, when she didn’t know who I was, when things were…really fucking cool for one night.
“If you needed help, you would try to at least listen to me. You aren’t trying.”
I covered my face with my hands, emotions trying to overwhelm me. I couldn’t let that fucking happen now. “I’m trying to listen, I promise. I just can’t focus.”
“Well, call me when you think you can.”
I pulled my hands away from my face and saw her retreating form. I groaned and quickly shoved my books into my bag, standing and hustling after her.
“Cass!” I get glared at by everyone around me for my too loud voice. Fuck them. I don’t really fucking care if I’m too loud.
She doesn’t turn, weaving through tables, and is out the door before I could grab at her.
I don’t stop moving until I’m out the door myself. She pressed the button for the elevator and waited for a moment before she saw me and turned for the stairs.
“Fucking wait, Cass,” I grumbled from behind her. Reaching out, I snatched her hand and pulled her to me. She lost balance, and I spun, using the wall behind her to reach out and balance myself.
And suddenly, I had Cassie pressed against a wall.
Fucking hell.
I’ve dreamed of this.
Our breaths were moving rapidly, her eyes scanning my face in shock and mine…well, I couldn’t decide what’s prettier, her eyes or her fucking gorgeous mouth.
I wanted to reach down so bad, take her lips with my own, and glue my body to hers, holding her to me while I explored every inch of her.
I wanted it so bad that I was about to say fuck it and do it when she ripped her hand out of mine and shoved at my chest.
I was nowhere near budging from her little shove, but I stepped back, trying not to overcrowd her and trying desperately to get a grip on myself before I embarrassed us both in this hallway.
“What do you want?” Her words were a hoarse whisper, and I watched as her throat bobbed in a thick swallow.
“I need your help,” I said, deciding to humble myself. Did I want someone else to help me? Someone who wouldn’t fucking take my shit seriously like my sister’s best friend would? Someone who was only in it for the money and not because they actually gave a shit?
No. I wanted Cassie to help me. Even if I do have a little place in my heart reserved just to hate her, I knew she was fucking smart. I knew she was going to be able to get me where I needed to be so I could keep playing again.
“I can’t focus in the library with all of those people around, with all the whispered words and shuffling of papers. It’s too distracting.”
“You zoned out as soon as I started talking.”
I shook my head again, gripping the back of my neck. “I promise, it’s just what happens when there’s too much going on around me.”
“So.” Cassie cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest. Even though she was wearing a hoodie, she still looked fucking amazing. Not that I would tell her that.
I didn’t want to lose my favorite appendage.
“We need a new place to study then. How about your house?”
“Not a chance,” I said immediately. I didn’t want her there and have Crew all over us while we were trying to study. That was my time with her, not his.
My time? What am I, five?
Not to mention the fact that all my fucking teammates would salivate over Cassie, and it was way too fucking loud for studying.
She bit her lip. “Well, we could try this diner, it’s off campus though, so we’d have to drive, but I don’t currently have a car.”
“I can drive us,” I said quickly, thinking a diner would be perfect. I could actually get a real meal in and get some studying done. “How loud is it?”
“It’s not so bad,” Cassie said, her eyes averted from my own. “We can sit in the back booths where no one really goes.”
I bit my tongue, wanting so badly to make a joke about it, wanting to push the boundaries that were pretty firmly in place, but I don’t.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”