TWENTY-FOUR
Lincoln
Two Years Ago
There was something pressing on my chest, and it wasn’t a body. The sun was starting to stream in from the curtain in my room, and the blinding light from that sent my head into a spiral.
I drank way too fucking much last night.
I try sitting up and realize quickly that I’m not in my room, but still on the couch out in the living room. A quick glance around the room showed me that there were bodies scattered everywhere.
Fuck. That was not the night I had planned.
There was weight on my leg, and I looked down, seeing a blonde head of hair, and I smiled to myself. Cassie. Right. Fucking hell, last night was amazing.
I’ve never felt a connection as strong as the one with Cassie. She was amazing, quick-witted, smart as hell, and, best of all, knew nothing of hockey.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved when girls were into it, but since I started here at Rose Hill, the girls were only into me because I was on the team.
Cassie didn’t even know who I was when I had approached her the night before.
Hell, I glanced around again, looking for anyone I recognized, and came up blank. Carefully, I tried to move Cassie’s head off my leg because the bathroom was calling my name.
I vaguely remembered her coming out of the bathroom and straddling my lap. I remembered being surprised that she did, since she seemed like such a shy person. But I’d welcomed it.
And when she started kissing me, I started fading. I hated that I did, but I knew I was kissing like a sloppy fish as opposed to what I could normally do.
I finally dislodged my leg and her head flopped back.
And I instantly stared in horror at the face on the girl.
Not because she was terrifying, but because she was not Cassie.
I stood quickly, nearly falling over another body, my eyes still trained on the girl lying on the couch.
That’s not Cassie. Where was Cassie?
I looked around at the mess in the living room, but she wouldn’t be lying on the floor. She wouldn’t have seen me on the couch and just left, right?
Unless…
“Fuck.” I ran a hand over my hair and went to the bathroom. It’s the last place she said she would be, but of course, it’s morning, so when I get there, it’s empty.
I quickly did my business and then reached for my phone when I’m done. I look at it, seeing a text from Mickey, my sister, congratulating me on winning the game last night.
And nothing else.
Did I seriously not get her number? How the hell was I going to find her?
I leaned against the island in the kitchen, my phone in one hand and my head in the other. I can’t remember what happened.
I think and I think and I think, and all I can remember is her coming and straddling my lap, but when I think really hard about it, I realize that the blonde on the couch is the one who came out, not Cassie. And my drunk brain told me it was Cassie.
Fuck me.
I screwed up.
“Mornin’.” I looked up to see my best friend Crew coming into the kitchen. He had on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, so he clearly went to bed with his mind intact. “Feeling okay?
“Fuck no,” I answered, setting down the phone and running my hands through my hair. “I fucked up last night.”
“Why? Get someone pregnant?” he asked with a sarcastic smile, starting a pot of coffee.
“No,” I moaned, my head pounding.
“I saw you with that girl last night. Seemed like you two were hitting it off,” he said, commenting on the good part of the night.
Fuck. She was awesome.
“Yeah, we did. But she isn’t who was on top of me when I woke up.”
Crew grimaced. “Fuck. Seriously? What happened?”
I briefly told him what I remembered, not feeling encouraged by the facial expressions he was giving me in return.
“Well, now what?”
I shook my head, unsure what I could say or do to turn it all around. “I don’t fucking know. I didn’t get her number. All I know is her first name.”
“Them’s the pits,” he said as if it were helpful and left the room.
A week later, we were skating around our rink, warming up for the game, when I looked up to where Mickey usually sat. I grinned at her, waving, and when she sat, she turned to a girl with blonde hair, and my heart stopped in my chest at the woman who was sitting next to my sister.
Cassie.
She had been there. Right there, watching me play hockey. I’d grinned, waving at her and she promptly ignored my entire presence as if I didn’t just wave obnoxiously at her.
After the game, where I played my heart out and hoped that she could tell I was winning it for her, even though she wouldn’t look at me, I found her standing in the tunnel with my sister.
“Hey, distract my sister for a sec, would you?” I tapped Crew’s chest, and he nodded, already knowing my plan with Cassie.
We headed over to them, and Crew quickly got Mickey’s attention, leaving me a moment with Cassie.
“Hey.” I grinned at her, my heart thumping loudly in my chest at the sight of her, and I reached out to pull her into a hug, but she stepped back, making my heart drop.
“Hello,” she replied coolly.
Okay. I got it, I fucked up. “Hey, listen, last week, I had a great time with you.”
“Really? Looked like you had a great time with someone else,” she said quickly, and I could tell she regretted it the moment the words left her mouth because she averted her gaze and wouldn’t look at me.
“Yeah, I’m so sorry. I was way too drunk.” I bent, trying to catch her eye again. “I didn’t even know what was happening.”
“What a nice excuse,” she said, not smiling, not looking at me, not even blushing like she seemed to do. “Excuse me.”
She tried to step around me, and maybe I should have let her go, but I could feel her slipping out from under me before I had even a sliver of a chance to get to know her.
“Wait, Cassie, please. I messed up, but I’m not that type of guy.”
She scoffed, and finally, her eyes met mine, and I was hit with a blast of shame at the hurt I saw there. Sure, we only had just met that night, but she felt it too. That connection, she felt it.
“I’m not interested.”
“Cassie—”
“Hey, we’re headed out,” Mickey said, gesturing from me to Cassie, before I could say more. “You two know each other?”
“No,” Cassie answered before I could say something stupid like I’m pretty sure she’s my soulmate. “I’ve never even cared about hockey.”
“Right.” Mickey smiled at her friend and linked their arms. “I’m trying to convert her, but she’s a prickly one.”
“I’ll bet I could convince you to like hockey,” I said, hoping for something playful like last week, a spark of interest, a hint of anything from her that would make me feel less like the shitty human I feel like right now.
“Right, I’m so sure,” she snapped back and then seemed embarrassed at her display in front of my sister.
But Mickey just laughed and said goodbye, taking the woman I was infatuated with down the tunnel and out of my sight.
I stared down that tunnel for a long time, wondering what the hell I could do.
And wondering if I just gave up my one chance at someone great.