TWENTY-FIVE
Cassie
Present
The drive down this road was so familiar, and when I parked and headed inside, it was like I’d done it a million times.
I’ve been to the ice rink a bunch, especially with Mickey over the last two years, coming with her so she didn’t have to sit alone and avoiding watching Lincoln play as much as possible. It was basically impossible to ignore him, of course, but I had tried.
Mick and Victoria had been my first real friends in adulthood that I could trust and count on, and when they asked me to come with them to things, I felt like if I said no, they would replace me as a friend.
Of course, that stemmed from bullying from middle school and high school, when friends expected you to drop everything for them. And Mick and Victoria were not like that whatsoever.
But insecurity was a bitch, so I’d dropped everything to be there for my friends whenever possible.
I was coming off a high of having my first phone “interview” with an agent. She saw promise in me and my book and was working on a contract right now.
It still didn’t feel real. I had an agent.
Well, almost.
The ice rink had a good number of people inside for this scrimmage, parents and siblings littered the stands, watching the game that was already in play.
Lincoln stood in one of the team boxes and Crew was in the other, and to my surprise, Tanner was playing ref for the game, a big smile stretched over his face as he called plays and watched them all go.
I found Mick in the stands and decided it would be worse to not sit with her than to avoid her, so I went to her.
Her eyes widened in surprise, and she gave me a big hug. “What are you doing here?”
It was easier to be around her now that the secret was out, and I could reply honestly. “Lincoln told me about it. I couldn’t resist coming to watch a bunch of mini hockey players.”
“Right? Aren’t they the cutest? When Tanner told me he was going to ref the game, I had to come watch.”
I watched for several minutes, smiling at how intense some of the kids were being. There was a healthy mix of girls and boys, and some of the girls were even more aggressive than the boys. Tanner had already scolded three of them so far.
“So, when did Lincoln talk to you?” Mick asks, glancing over at me.
“At the cabin,” I answer, keeping it vague. It was also on the tip of my tongue to tell her about the agent, but for some reason, I really want to tell Lincoln first.
That’s probably a sign of something, but I wasn’t willing to look too far into it yet.
“So, are you two…” Mick trails off, probably dying to pry into my business but knowing that I wasn’t going to just give it up like that.
“I don’t know,” I answer, feeling nervous about the whole thing. Lincoln hurt my feelings pretty good. “How did you forgive him for how he acted after he found out about you and Tanner? How do you get past the words he said?”
Mick sat for a moment, her eyes like mine, watching the kids skate around the rink. Mine, of course, kept straying to the man who was playing coach for the day.
He hasn’t noticed I’m here yet, and that was okay. He would know soon enough.
“Well, I love him, for one thing,” she says, looking over at me. “He’s my baby brother, so yeah, he said some pretty hurtful things. But he also has shown me how sorry he is, and by showing up here and treating Tanner with respect whenever they’re around each other, he’s showing me that he supports me again.”
“But the things he said about Tanner using you and stuff.”
“That’s between him and Tanner. He spoke in anger.” Mick shrugs and says, “I know he hurt you by using my secret against you, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that.”
“That wasn’t your fault. I chose to keep the secret, and he chose how he reacted.”
Mick smiles at me softly. “True. But I wish I could go back and not tell you. Or, hell, tell everyone right off the bat so none of that happened. Sometimes, though, people speak out when the emotions are really high, and maybe they should have calmed down or waited to react until they’d thought it through. But that’s human.” She pulls me into a side hug and says, “It’s how they make up for it, it’s how they act after they’ve said the hurtful things that matter. And depending on where you’re at, you can either forgive it and believe the best of them or move on.”
I nod my head, my heart pounding in my chest at what I’d like to do. What I want is to go up to him and feel like he’s mine again, to wrap my arms around him and kiss him and tell him that I forgive him.
I want to get back to that place because, despite what he did, he’s worked on apologizing to me. He’s tried to grovel.
But there was still a piece of me that held back.
Don’t rush yourself, Cassie.
Right. I nod at my inner voice. Patience.
After the scrimmage is over, I wait around in the stands, staying out of the way while Lincoln talks to his team and high-fives them all for good work. He then has to talk to some of the parents.
Mick leaves to meet up with Tanner and gives me a big hug, not trying to push me one way or another with her brother, which I appreciate.
I stand off to the side, stretching my legs, when Lincoln notices me for the first time, his mind being too occupied with the job at hand.
He smiles when he sees me, and it brings me back to dating him. How free he was with his smiles around me always made me feel special, and I don’t know why.
When he’s done with the parents, he makes his way over to me, not waiting to ask if he can hug me when he scoops me into his arms.
My arms go around his shoulders and his stay firm around my lower back, holding me tightly, and I let myself bury my face in the crook of his neck for a few seconds.
Lincoln doesn’t even say anything, he just holds me, almost knowing that I need this hug from him without even knowing it.
“I can’t believe you came,” he says in a low voice by my ear, making shivers snake down my spine.
“Yeah.” I release him slightly and try to take a step back, but I’m standing in a corner, so there really isn’t a place for me to go. His hand grasps mine lightly, like he doesn’t want to lose contact. “I had to see what this scrimmage business was all about.”
He nods with a smile. “Not bad, huh?”
“Not bad at all, Coach,” I tease, and his grin widens.
“I kinda love being a coach, not gonna lie.” He rolls his shoulders and pretends to puff out his chest. “Gives me some power.”
I laugh and shove at his chest with my free hand. “Mm-hmm. You’d just love standing on the sidelines while everyone else played the game, right?”
He purses his lips and tilts his head to the side. “Hm, maybe not.”
“Right.” I nod and wave at Crew as he walks past. “So, I have some news. Could you go for some coffee or something?”
His eyes dim for a moment, and he gives me a sad smile. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I have another class tonight, and I need to work on my paper.”
I swallow the hurt at the rejection, even though he looks just as crushed as I feel for having to say no, and I shake my head, smiling to cover it up. “Okay. No worries.”
He grasps my hands with his, holding tightly. “What’s your news?”
Just then, some new families filter into the rink, and I nod at them. “Looks like your next class is here.”
Lincoln nods but turns back to me after he smiles at some of the kids. “They need a few minutes to lace up. What happened?”
I smile at the eagerness in his voice, at least I know he didn’t reject me because he’s over it. That’s something. “I talked with an agent today.”
His eyes widen with anticipation. “And?”
“And she’s drawing up a contract.”
“What?” He basically shouts the question, startling everyone in the vicinity, and I smile and nod. “You got an agent?”
“Looks that way.” I can’t stop the grin from my face, and when he picks me up and swings me around in excitement, I can’t help but laugh.
“Hell yeah!” he says, finally setting me down. Then, unexpectedly, he presses a kiss to my lips. It’s so brief, it’s like it barely happened. “I fucking told you they would love it!”
I nod my head. “You sure did.”
“Coach!” one of the younger boys, who looks like he came in alone, calls out, needing help with his laces, and Lincoln glances over.
“Just a sec, bud.” He turns back to me and smiles broadly. “I’m so happy for you, Sunshine. Bright things are coming.”
I nod and cross my arms over my chest, unable to keep the small smile off my face. “Yeah.”
“I gotta run, but I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
I nod again and head out the door.
And that night, when he calls me for the first time in months, I don’t decline.