Chapter 4
Being Alpha suited me. The power, the respect, the way everyone jumped to obey my every command.
I leaned back in the leather chair that had been my father's, surveying the pack documents spread across the massive oak desk.
Border patrol schedules, alliance agreements with neighboring packs, and financial reports from our logging operations.
Everything that made the Cascade Pack run smoothly now flowed through me.
Nearly two years had passed since my father died in a border skirmish with rogues.
I'd inherited the Alpha position just days after my twentieth birthday, younger than anyone had expected.
The pack had rallied around me, proving their loyalty when I'd needed it most. Now, at twenty-one and about to have another birthday, I was hitting my stride.
"The Colorado pack wants to renegotiate timber rights," Jackson said from his position near the window.
My Beta looked older these days, the weight of our responsibilities aging him faster than our twenty-one years should have.
"They're claiming the boundary lines your father established are no longer fair. "
"Let them claim whatever they want," I said, not looking up from the quarterly reports. "They need our lumber more than we need their friendship. Counter with a five percent increase in prices."
"That's going to piss them off."
"Then they shouldn't have tried to lowball us." I signed off on a patrol rotation and moved to the next document. "What else?"
Jackson hesitated, and I felt that familiar prickle of irritation that came whenever he wanted to discuss something I didn't want to hear. "The she-wolves are asking about Luna succession again."
My pen stopped moving across the paper. "What about it?"
"Marshall, Annalise is fifteen now. The pack is starting to ask questions about when you'll start... preparing for the future."
I set down my pen and finally looked at him. Jackson's dark eyes held a mixture of concern and frustration that I'd grown tired of seeing. Ever since he'd appointed himself the moral authority on my personal life, conversations like this had become routine.
"Annalise is still a child," I said flatly. "She's got three years before any of this becomes relevant."
"She's not going to be a child forever. And the way things are going..."
"The way what things are going?"
Jackson was quiet for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "You barely acknowledge her existence, Marshall. When's the last time you had a real conversation with her? When's the last time you asked how her training was going, or what she's learning, or how she's feeling about any of this?"
I stood up abruptly, the chair scraping against the hardwood floor. "I don't have time for heart-to-heart conversations with teenagers. I'm running a pack. Managing alliances. Keeping our people safe and prosperous."
"And ignoring your mate."
"My future mate," I corrected. "There's a difference."
Jackson's expression darkened. "Is there? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're doing everything possible to pretend she doesn't exist."
The accusation hit closer to home than I wanted to admit.
The truth was, I'd been avoiding Annalise for months.
Not intentionally, exactly, but she made things complicated.
When I looked at her, I was supposed to see my future Luna, my partner, the other half of my soul.
Instead, I still saw a kid who still got excited about birthday parties and looked at me like I could solve all her problems.
"She's fifteen, Jackson. What exactly am I supposed to do with that?"
"Spend time with her. Get to know her. Help her understand what being Luna means." Jackson moved away from the window, frustration bleeding into his voice. "She's going to be leading this pack alongside you someday. Shouldn't you want her to be ready for that?"
"Mom's handling her training."
"Luna Etta is teaching her pack management and diplomacy. Who's teaching her about you? About what you'll expect from her as your mate?"
I picked up another document, signaling the end of the conversation. "She'll figure it out."
"Right now, the only thing she's figuring out is that her mate would rather be anywhere else than in the same room with her."
Before I could respond, my office door burst open without a knock and Scarlett sauntered in like she owned the place, wearing a tight dress that left little to the imagination and a smile that promised trouble.
"Alpha," she purred, completely ignoring Jackson's presence. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything important."
The interruption was perfectly timed, giving me an excuse to end the uncomfortable conversation with Jackson. "Just finishing up some pack business. What do you need?"
"I was hoping you might have time for a more... personal discussion." Her eyes flicked to Jackson meaningfully. "Privately."
Jackson's jaw tightened, but he knew a dismissal when he heard one. "We'll finish this conversation later, Marshall."
After he left, Scarlett settled into the chair across from my desk, crossing her legs in a way that drew attention to every curve. "You look tense," she observed, leaning forward slightly. "Let me help you relax."
An hour later, I was sprawled across the leather couch in my office, Scarlett's head on my chest as she traced lazy patterns on my skin.
The pack business that had seemed so urgent earlier could wait.
This was simpler, easier. Physical satisfaction without emotional complications.
This was what kept me going, waiting for Annalise to grow up.
"You know," Scarlett said, her voice carefully casual, "I've been thinking about the future lately."
"What about it?"
"About us. About what we mean to each other." She lifted her head to look at me, blue eyes serious. "I'm not getting any younger, Marshall. At some point, I'm going to want stability. A real relationship."
I stiffened slightly. "Scarlett..."
"I know what you're going to say. You have a mate." Her tone turned bitter. "That little girl who follows you around like a lost puppy."
"She doesn't follow me around."
"Because you run away every time she gets within ten feet of you." Scarlett sat up, her naked body silhouetted against the office windows. "Face it, Marshall. You don't want her. You want me."
There was truth in what she said, uncomfortable as it was.
I did want Scarlett. I wanted the easy passion, the adult conversation, the lack of complicated feelings.
What I didn't want was the responsibility that came with Annalise.
The expectation that I'd somehow transform from a twenty-one-year-old man into a devoted mate for someone who still needed permission to leave pack territory.
"It's complicated," I said finally. I meant it. Right now, it was complicated, but in a few more years, it would be different. Annalise would get her wolf in a few months. In our pack, that made you an adult even though the Moon Goddess didn’t let us scent our mates until we were eighteen.
Once Annalise was eighteen and could scent me, things would change. Everything would be perfect.
"It doesn't have to be." Scarlett moved closer, her hand sliding up my chest. "You could reject her. Choose me instead. The pack would understand. A mature Luna, experienced in pack politics, ready to lead alongside you..."
For a brief moment, I let myself imagine it.
A life without the guilt of disappointing a girl who deserved better than my indifference.
But even as the fantasy played out, I knew it was impossible.
Mate bonds weren't suggestions from the Moon Goddess.
They were destinies, carved in stone and written in the stars.
Rejecting Annalise would hurt her in ways I couldn't even comprehend. It would hurt the pack. It would hurt me. I wouldn’t do it.
"I can't," I said, the words tasting like ash.
Scarlett's expression hardened. "Can't, or won't?"
"Does it matter?"
"It matters to me." She stood up abruptly, reaching for her scattered clothes. "How long am I supposed to wait, Marshall? How long am I supposed to be your convenient distraction while you figure out your feelings about a child?"
"She won't be a child forever."
"I'm twenty-four years old." Scarlett pulled her dress over her head, smoothing the fabric with sharp, angry movements. "I want a mate, a family, a future. I want all that with you."
Before I could respond, she was gone, leaving me alone in my office with the scent of her perfume and the uncomfortable weight of truth. How many more months did I have to maintain this holding pattern before my mate’s long-awaited eighteenth birthday?
A soft knock on my door interrupted my brooding. "Come in."
Annalise stepped into my office, and I was struck by how much she'd changed.
Gone was the thirteen-year-old who'd accepted my claiming with starry-eyed wonder.
At fifteen, she was taller, more graceful, with the promise of real beauty starting to emerge from her childish features.
She wore a simple green dress that brought out her eyes, and her auburn hair fell in soft waves past her shoulders.
She was growing up, whether I was ready for it or not.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said quietly. "Luna Etta said you wanted to see the latest reports from my Luna training."
I had completely forgotten asking for those reports. "Right. The reports."
She approached my desk carefully, like she was afraid of startling a wild animal.
The folder she placed in front of me was thick with notes and exercises, proof of the hours she'd been spending in preparation for a role I'd barely acknowledged. I wanted to tell her it wasn’t because of her, but because of the situation.
"I've been studying the alliance structures with our neighboring packs," she said, her voice growing more confident. "I think there might be opportunities to strengthen our trade relationships, especially with the mountain packs that have access to different resources."
Despite myself, I was impressed. The observations in her report were thoughtful, showing a grasp of pack politics that went beyond simple memorization. She had my mother's instincts, combined with a perspective that was uniquely her own.
"This is good work," I admitted.
Her face lit up with pleasure at the simple praise, and I felt an unexpected pang of guilt. When was the last time I'd given her any encouragement? When was the last time I'd even looked at her as more than an obligation to be dealt with later?
"Thank you. I've been working really hard on it."
"I can tell." I flipped through more pages, noting the careful handwriting and detailed analysis. "Mom's taught you well."
"She has. But..." Annalise hesitated, then seemed to gather her courage. "I was hoping maybe you could teach me some things, too. About being Alpha, about leadership. I want to understand how to support you when the time comes."
The earnest hope in her voice made something twist in my chest. Here was a fifteen-year-old girl asking for guidance from the man who'd been avoiding her as much as possible for two years. She deserved better than my neglect.
"That's a good idea," I heard myself saying. "We should set up regular meetings. Go over pack business, leadership decisions."
Her smile was radiant. "Really? You'd do that?"
"Of course. We're..." I stopped, the word 'mates' sticking in my throat. "We should know how to work together."
"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."
For a moment, we just looked at each other, and I saw something in her green eyes that made my chest tighten. Not the hero worship of her childhood, but something deeper. More mature. The beginning of real affection for the man I actually was, not just the Alpha she'd been told to love.
It scared the hell out of me.
"I should get back to work," I said, breaking the moment.
"Of course. Thank you for looking at my report.
" She paused at the door, looking back with an expression I couldn't quite read.
"Marshall? I know this isn't easy for you.
The mate bond, the expectations, all of it.
But I want you to know... I'm grateful. For you, for this pack, for the chance to learn what it means to be Luna.
Even if things are complicated right now. "
After she left, I sat in my office for a long time, staring at her report and trying to untangle the knot of emotions in my chest. Guilt, because she deserved more attention than I'd been giving her.
Respect, because her work really was impressive.
And something else, something I didn't want to name.
The beginning of actual fondness for the person she was becoming.
My phone buzzed with a text from Scarlett: Thinking about our conversation. Let me know when you're ready to decide your real future.
I deleted the message without responding and went back to Annalise's report. There was real insight here, real potential for the kind of Luna the pack needed. Maybe it was time I started paying attention to who she was instead of who she wasn't.
Maybe it was time I stopped running from the future and started preparing for it.
Even if that future still felt impossibly far away.
She's growing up, Ranger said quietly in my mind.
I know.
She's going to be magnificent.
I know that, too.
Then why are you still fighting this?
I didn't have an answer for my wolf, just like I didn't have answers for Jackson's criticism or Scarlett's ultimatums. All I knew was that everything was changing. The girl who'd brought me that report wasn't the child I'd been avoiding for two years.