Chapter 12
Two weeks without her, and I finally understood what I'd thrown away.
I sat in my office staring at the same patrol reports I'd been pretending to read for the past hour.
The words blurred together, meaningless marks on paper that couldn't hold my attention.
Nothing could, not when Ranger was a constant snarl of fury in my mind and the scent of my pup still lingered in my memory.
You smelled him, Ranger said for the hundredth time, his voice raw with pain and rage. You smelled our son, and you threw them both away like garbage.
"I know," I whispered to the empty room.
I tried to tell you. I tried to break through, but you blocked me out while you destroyed everything that mattered.
The memory of that moment was burned into my brain. The instant Annalise had said she was pregnant, Ranger had surged forward with recognition and joy. Our pup. Our heir. But I'd slammed every barrier I had into place, refusing to listen to my wolf's desperate attempts to reach me.
By the time Jackson had forced the truth on me two weeks ago, it was too late. Annalise was gone, taking my child with her, and I had no one to blame but myself.
You've been treating her badly since the beginning, Ranger continued his relentless accusations. I never wanted those other females. I wanted our mate. But you ignored me, ignored her, ignored everything that should have mattered.
Do you remember Scarlett's birthday party when she was sixteen? Ranger's voice grew sharper. Veronica poured wine on her dress, and you just laughed it off as girls being girls. You didn't even notice how humiliated she looked.
The memory hit me like a physical blow. Annalise stood there in her ruined dress, trying not to cry while the other she-wolves giggled. I'd been so focused on Veronica's flirtations that I hadn't even cared about my mate's obvious distress.
Or when Tiffany 'accidentally' locked her out of the dining hall during the autumn feast, Ranger continued mercilessly. She missed the entire meal, and you never even noticed she was gone.
Another memory surfaced—coming home to find Annalise sitting alone in the kitchen, eating cold leftovers. I'd been annoyed that she hadn’t been with me in the dining hall, never thinking to ask why she'd missed dinner.
They've been torturing her for years, Ranger said with devastating clarity. And you gave them permission by treating her like she didn't matter.
He was right. God help me, he was right about all of it.
A knock on my door interrupted my self-flagellation. "Come in."
Jackson entered, his expression carefully neutral. We'd barely spoken since our confrontation two weeks ago, when he'd laid out exactly how thoroughly I'd destroyed my life.
"The pack council wants to meet with you," he said without preamble.
"About what?"
"Probably about the fact that you've done nothing for two weeks except sit in here feeling sorry for yourself while the pack falls apart."
I looked up at him sharply. "The pack is fine."
"No, Marshall, it's not." Jackson closed the door behind him and moved closer to my desk. "Half the pack thinks you made the right call. They never thought Annalise was good enough to be Luna anyway, and now they're circling like vultures, thinking they have a shot at the position."
The thought of Scarlett, Veronica, or Tiffany as Luna made my stomach turn. "And the other half?"
"The other half are disgusted with you. They've been watching you treat Annalise like dirt for years, keeping their mouths shut because you were their future Alpha and then their Alpha. But now they're saying what they should have said years ago."
I pushed back from my desk, standing to pace to the window. "Which is?"
"That you're a selfish bastard who never deserved her in the first place."
The words angered Ranger, who didn’t like to be disrespected, but I couldn't argue with them. Every accusation, every piece of criticism—it was all true.
"Elder Maeve came to see me yesterday," Jackson continued. "She wanted to know what I thought about challenging your Alpha position."
I spun around to face him. "What did you tell her?"
"That you'd already destroyed yourself more thoroughly than any challenge could.
" Jackson's dark eyes were hard as flint.
"The pack is divided, Marshall. Some are celebrating that the 'weak little Luna' is gone, and others are horrified by how you treated a pregnant mate.
And you've done nothing but hide in here for two weeks. "
Because you know what you did, Ranger said bitterly. Because you finally understand that you've been a monster.
"I know what I did," I confirmed, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Do you? Because knowing and acting on that knowledge are two different things."
Before I could respond, my door opened again without a knock. Scarlett swept in, wearing a dress that clung to every curve and a smile that set my teeth on edge.
"Marshall, darling," she said, moving toward me with predatory grace. "I thought you might need some... comfort... during this difficult time."
Behind her, I saw Jackson's expression darken with disgust.
"Scarlett," I said carefully, "this isn't a good time."
"Nonsense. You've been locked away in here for weeks, mourning that little girl who was never right for you anyway." She reached out to touch my arm, and I stepped back instinctively. "The pack needs to see their Alpha moving on, being strong."
She disgusts me, Ranger snarled. They all disgust me. I want our mate. I want our family.
"Moving on?" I repeated.
"Of course. Now that the pretense is over, now that everyone knows she was just a lying little slut, you can choose a real Luna. Someone mature enough to handle the position."
The casual cruelty of her words, the dismissive way she spoke about Annalise, made something snap inside me.
"Get out," I said firmly.
Scarlett blinked, clearly not expecting that response. "What?"
"I said get out. And don't come back."
"Marshall, you're upset, I understand—"
"I'm not upset," I said, my voice growing harder. "I'm disgusted. By you, by the pack members who think like you, and mostly by myself for ever entertaining your delusions."
Scarlett's face flushed with anger. "You're making a mistake. That little bitch—"
"GET OUT!" I roared, my Alpha command shaking the windows.
She fled, slamming the door behind her. I sank back into my chair, suddenly exhausted.
"Well," Jackson said dryly, "that's the first useful thing you've done in two weeks."
"Jackson..." I started, then stopped. What could I say? How could I apologize for years of treating my mate like an inconvenience, for throwing away the most precious thing in my life? Especially when he had warned me.
"The pack council meeting is in an hour," he said. "They want answers about what you plan to do."
"About what?"
"About finding her. Acknowledging your son. Cleaning up the mess you made."
Our son, Ranger said with fierce pride and devastating sadness. Our heir, who will grow up never knowing us because you were too proud to admit a mistake.
"I don't even know where to start looking," I admitted. The truth was, I’d already tried. In the first hour after Jackson’s revelation, a blind panic had seized me, and I’d shifted, tearing through the forest after her fading scent.
I’d tracked her to the bus station in the nearest human town, but there, her trail had vanished, swallowed up by the overwhelming stench of exhaust fumes and a thousand indifferent humans.
I had lost her. The only thing I knew for sure was that she was no longer there.
"Then figure it out. Because right now, half the pack thinks you've lost your mind, and the other half thinks you're a monster. Neither opinion is good for pack stability."
Jackson moved toward the door, then paused. "There's something else you should know. Luna Etta hasn't spoken to anyone since Annalise left. She's taken meals in her room, refused to see visitors. The pack is starting to worry."
My mother. I'd been so wrapped up in my guilt and self-pity that I hadn't even considered how this was affecting her. My mother loved Annalise like a daughter, had spent years training her to be the next Luna, and I'd destroyed all of that in one moment of rage and pride.
She's ashamed of us, Ranger said quietly. As she should be.
After Jackson left, I sat alone with the weight of what I'd done pressing down on me like a physical thing. But it wasn't just the banishment that haunted me now—it was the years of casual cruelty that had led to it.
The memories came flooding back with devastating clarity. Not just the big moments, but the small, daily humiliations I'd either ignored or actively enabled.
Scarlett making snide comments about Annalise's "childish" clothes while I sat right there, saying nothing.
Veronica openly discussing her plans to seduce me while Annalise served dinner, her hands trembling as she set down plates.
Tiffany "accidentally" bumping into her so she'd spill drinks on herself, then laughing about how clumsy the future Luna was.
You thought it was temporary, Ranger said, his voice heavy with accusation. You thought you could treat her like an obligation for four years and then flip a switch when she turned eighteen.
I had thought that. I'd told myself that once she was officially an adult, once we completed the mating bond, everything would change.
I'd be the devoted mate she deserved, and she'd forget about anything that happened in the years while she was growing up. I hadn’t realised she was being humiliated daily by the she-wolves I used to satisfy my Alpha needs.
You were careless with something precious, Ranger continued. You were careless with her heart, her self-worth, her trust. You let them destroy her piece by piece while you counted down the days until you could be bothered to care.