Chapter twenty Parker
Chapter twenty
Parker
“I’m trying to run a restaurant, and you call an emergency meeting?” Dallas walks into the back room of Catch & Release, hands on his hips. Penn and Grady are already seated, waiting for me expectantly.
“You know I wouldn’t if it wasn’t important. Cashlynn has enough to deal with right now and Seth’s my mess to clean up.”
My oldest brother sighs and sits on the edge of a table, crossing his arms over his chest. “All right. What’s going on?”
The second I left work, I texted my brothers and Grady, knowing I needed some advice before I went home to Cashlynn.
I let her know I was going to be late, and then headed to the restaurant, hoping that hearing some different perspectives on the matter would help me decide what to do because I’m fucking torn.
“Seth knows that Cashlynn quit her job,” I say, getting straight to the point. “He’s threatening me with the information, basically saying he’s going to tell Dr. O’Neil and use it as a way to get the practice.”
Penn growls. “Do we know his address? I have quite a few power tools on me that could do a lot of structural damage.”
“Fucking up his house isn’t going to solve anything,” Grady says. “But I could have Chase throw a baseball through his window accidentally.”
“Focus, please,” I say.
“So, what if he does tell Robert?” Dallas asks. “Do you think it’d be enough reason not to give you the practice?”
“I don’t give a fuck about the animal hospital anymore. I’m worried about Cashlynn.”
My oldest brother smiles proudly at me. “Looks like you’ve finally figured some shit out.”
I stare down at my hands clasped between my legs. “Yeah, therapy will do that to you.”
Penn slaps me on the shoulder. “Proud of you, little brother.”
“It was time,” I say, not wanting to focus on that revelation right now. “Back to the problem, please.”
“What if you told Dr. O’Neil first?” Grady asks.
“That’s my dilemma. I feel like if I do, I can give him the real story, not the one that Seth is going to fabricate. But Cashlynn wanted me to wait. She’s been adamant that her dad was not to know anything until the gallery is open.”
Grady shrugs. “That’s this Saturday though, right? What’s a couple of days?”
Dallas clears his throat. “Sorry to say this, but you have to look out for everyone’s best interest here, Parker, and I think telling him before the opening could be the best option.”
“Even if it means breaking Cashlynn’s trust?”
“She might thank you in the long run,” Penn says.
I bury my head in my hands. “I just don’t want to fuck this up. Do you know what it feels like to fail at love?”
Dallas’s brows pinch together. “A failure in love? Is that what you think you are?”
I peer back up at my oldest brother. “It’s the one thing I’ve never been able to get right. Everything else in my life is a piece of cake, but loving Sasha was the one thing I failed at. I don’t want to fail Cashlynn too.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Penn chimes in. “God, you’re na?ve if you think that one failed relationship means you are a failure, Parker, let alone that one.”
“Two relationships, actually,” I correct him. “Don’t forget about Ashley in high school.”
“Okay, two relationships. You’ve only had two and you think that makes you a failure because neither of them worked out? Do you realize how many times people start dating someone only for it to end up…ending?” Penn scoffs.
“Well, it’s not like you two have failed at it. And Mom and Dad…”
“Do you know how badly I messed up with Willow in the beginning?” My older brother asks me.
“Yeah, but that was just because you were mad about the house.”
He points a finger at his chest. “It wasn’t just the house.
It was my fucking feelings that I didn’t know how to manage, especially when I found out how we were connected.
I fucked up royally, and I still do shit wrong sometimes, but loving someone isn’t about being perfect, and it isn’t about saving them. ”
Penn shoves my shoulder. “Look at me and Astrid. We tiptoed around each other for years because we were afraid of getting things wrong, and as a result, we lost time together, but transitioning from friends to lovers was still difficult. And we still argue. It’s never going to be perfect, but it’s worth it with the right person. ”
Grady clears his throat. “Need I remind you that I was too chickenshit to tell Scottie that I liked her back in high school, and it took seventeen years and a surprise pregnancy for us to get it right?”
“Well, I mean—”
“You are not a fucking failure, Parker,” Dallas adds, cutting me off as I focus back on him.
“You loved Sasha and did everything you could to help her, but she was never yours to save. You two were not meant to be, that’s the truth of it all.
And it’s time you let that relationship go.
” He stands from his seat and walks over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
“You’re right, and I’m starting to understand that,” I say as the ground below starts to grow blurry.
“But I just want to get this right with her, do this relationship differently. Three months ago, I was hell-bent on keeping this platonic, but this woman…she’s this light I didn’t know I needed, and now I want her.
” I lick my bottom lip. “I don’t want to live without her and it’s killing me that I could potentially fuck it all up with one wrong choice.
” Burying my hands in my hair, I groan. “I should have never agreed to this. I should have just pushed her to be honest from the beginning and then I wouldn’t be in this predicament. ”
“Do you love her?” Penn asks, and I pop my head back up.
“What?”
“You heard me.” His jaw is tight as his eyes remain locked on mine. “Do you love her?”
But I don’t get the chance to respond because shouting from the other side of the room startles us all.
“Parker Eric Sheppard!”
All four of us spin toward the entrance of the back room to find my mother standing there with her hands on her hips, her face contorted in that look she gave my brothers more than me growing up because I was the good one—but it seems it’s my turn now.
“Mom?”
She waves her phone in the air as she walks into the room.
“Hi, Mom.” Dallas kisses her on the cheek, but she waves him off and comes to stand right in front of me.
Fuck. This can’t be good.
“Do you think I’m stupid, Parker?”
“Absolutely not,” I answer quickly.
She smacks me upside the head. “Did you forget that your mother also has a phone and social media?”
“Uh, no,” I say, rubbing my head in the spot where she just smacked me. “But I guess you’re about to remind me?”
“Then why did it take me this long to figure out that my son is a liar and Cashlynn O’Neil was just a cover to get these crazy stalker women away from you?”
Dallas leans in toward us both. “Uh, Mom. You might want to lower your voice a bit.”
She spins around and points a finger at him. “Did you know about this?”
“We all did,” Grady says just as Penn shoves him. “What?”
“Not fucking cool, man.”
Needing to put an end to this madness, I stand from my chair and spin my mother back to face me. “Mom, it’s not exactly what you think.”
“You lied to me.”
“I did, but Cashlynn was the one who came to me about being her fake fiancé, not the other way around. The arrangement just gave me the added bonus of getting my admirers to back off.”
She sighs, seeming to calm down slightly from that information. “I had to find out during my gardening club that my son was an internet sensation. And then to discover that it was Willow that was posting these videos…” She glances back at Dallas.
He holds his hands up in the air. “Hey, I had nothing to do with this.”
“You’re gonna tell me that you had no idea what your wife was up to?”
“Mom.” I reach for her hand and motion for her to sit. Dallas grabs her a glass of water and then urges Penn and Grady to leave the room with him, leaving me and my mom alone.
“Yes, the engagement was fake, but my feelings are real.”
Her eyes start to soften. “Really?”
“Yeah, Mom. Cashlynn is it for me, and it’s taken me a year and three months and lots of therapy to realize it, but our situation is a lot more complicated than you think.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “You’ve been going to therapy?”
I huff out a laugh. “Yeah, and it fucking sucks, but it’s time to let go of Sasha.”
Her hand molds around the side of my face, sending her warmth and understanding through me. I know that deep down I never wanted to let my father down, but on some level, I think this woman is the one who always let me fall so I knew that I could and things would still be okay.
“Someday you learn that it’s not the wrong person who makes you question what you want in life. It’s the right one, Parker.” Goosebumps break out on my arms from her words. “I’m glad that you finally figured it out.”
My vision gets cloudy again, but I blink away the moisture building in my eyes. “I’m working on it, but I’m still scared, Mom. I don’t want to fuck this up. I really thought after Sasha that my chance was gone. I felt like I let her down, and…
“I wish I understood where you got this idea that you only got once chance at love.”
Shaking my head, I glance around the empty room.
“I’ve been thinking about that the past few weeks and I guess I never really struggled or failed at things in my life until that moment.
Like, school was easy for me, and I stayed out of trouble unlike my brothers.
” My mother rolls her eyes at that comment.
“And I guess I just wanted a love like you had with Dad. I wanted to make you two proud of me. I loved Sasha, Mom, but the more I process everything, the more I realize I was young and na?ve, and she was responsible for her choices. That relationship was a stepping stone for me to figure out how to be a better partner. I just wish I could have helped her more.”