Chapter 31
chapter
thirty-one
MAREN
With a break in the final rush of customers for the day, I finally check my phone.
My smile is instant.
NATE
I wanted to kiss you.
I send him a blushing emoji, and I continue smiling as I grab the small broom to sweep up rogue coffee grounds. It’s almost closing time, and the quicker I get through my tasks, the faster I can get home and hopefully stop by my hot neighbor’s house.
“So, it’s safe to say that Naren is alive and well?”
I shoot upright as Scarlett hooks an elbow onto my counter and hoists her other hand onto her hip, cockier than any other early-twenty-something I know.
How long has she been standing there? Is it possible that her gossip-centric antenna caught me flirting with Nate through text?
“My sources say he was just here buying coffee, and you two, plus his daughter, were looking cozier than sliced bread.”
“That’s not a saying,” I shoot back and abandon my attempts to sweep. Instead, I wash my hands and grab the drink I was preparing before she walked up. She’s a few minutes later than usual.
Scarlett throws a hand up in surrender, but with her smirk firmly intact, she doesn’t appear too apologetic. “Annabelle’s words—not mine.”
“Don’t you have too many friends to be hanging around Annabelle? She’s three times your age.”
“She has all the good tea around here!”
“There’s no tea, Scarlett.” I tsk. “And there will be no coffee, either, if you keep this Naren business up.”
Her frown is genuine and regretful this time. “I’ll take a—”
“I know, babe.” I add a couple of ice cubes into her soy cinnamon dolce latte and scoot it toward her.
“Bless you.” She takes a long sip and sighs. “Gotta love small towns and how well we know one another.”
I accept her cash and snort. “If that were true, you’d know I prefer Mathan.”
I’ve never seen a jaw drop so far, unless it was on a cartoon. The subsequent squeal nearly bursts my eardrum—another inhumane feature of hers.
“I knew it! I knew Annabelle wasn’t full of shit this time. Not like when she said Sapphire Creek was opening a wine bar. Or that Lisa was having an affair with a ninety-year-old billionaire.”
“How about I put you in the hot seat for once? What juicy drama are you living?”
“I’m an open book, girlie.” She shrugs and sips more of her coffee. “Not much drama to report at the moment, but with my time off, I actually met a guy this week.”
“Oh?”
“At a coffee shop in Savannah. He sat at the table next to me and like, couldn’t stop staring. I finally asked him what his problem was, and he stumbled over his words so damn hard. It was adorable.” She draws out the last word and finally takes a breath. “So we’ve been chatting ever since.”
“Aren’t people your age supposed to meet each other online?”
“I know, right? I found a freaking unicorn.” She flips her hair, a black hair tie snug around her wrist. Her outfit consists of black on black from head to toe. Soon, she’ll start her shift at the Tap, and it’s customary for her to stop by for a coffee.
Which I know because, as she said before, small towns and all.
“Plus, his name is Foster, which is just more brownie points for him. It’s the kind of name that’s giving…
celebrity status, you know?” She snaps her finger.
“Oh! And I’m about to launch my own podcast, where I talk all about food.
I’m thinking of calling it Cooked, but that’s between you and me.
Foster’s a major tech nerd and is helping me with logistics. ”
“That’s a lot to absorb.”
“You should put me in the hot seat more often.”
“Guess I should.” I smile. “I’m happy for you, Scarlett. I hope this Foster deserves you, and I’m looking forward to this podcast. You’ll be great at it.”
“I’ll keep you posted—on everything.” She tosses me a wave and practically skips to her car.
I’m still grinning as a familiar car pulls into the spot Scarlett vacates. The last few weeks, I’ve sat by as my friends have gone on about their love lives, while I lamented the death of my own potential for romance.
But I don’t feel the same dread anymore. I feel only excitement, because tomorrow night, I have a date with Nate. The guy who’s held my heart for most of my life.
A man who knows how to treat me—and my body—so fucking right.
It’s crazy how quickly things can take a turn for the better.
“Anything you want to tell me?” Caroline’s melodic voice drifts over me, her question more like a love song, smooth and warm.
My old friend looks at me with twinkling eyes, like this thing with Nate is written across my forehead.
“You already know, don’t you?” My lips twitch.
“Wouldn’t mind the details from you.” She tosses me a wicked smirk.
Shaking my head, I whip her up a Fall in a Cup—her favorite—and nod toward the lone picnic bench under the big oak tree. Its leaves remain green unlike other trees around town, and it always stays this way until the leaves fall at the beginning of spring.
It’s a constant. It provides comfort and shade on a sunny day like today.
Once we’re settled across from each other, I wiggle in my seat under Caroline’s curious, amused stare.
On the other hand, she sips from her cup with ease, her nails painted nude and subtle, unlike the rest of her.
She has always been one of those people who stands out in a crowd, with her long, shiny blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes.
The pink of her cheeks is natural, requiring little help from any blush we find in stores. Her leather leggings and cropped sweater are made for the streets of New York, but the outfit somehow works for this small town too. Being back in her hometown suits her.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she threads her fingers together under her chin, and her smile spreads from cheek to cheek. “Tell me everything.”
Flashes of Nate between my legs launches a parade of tingles through my stomach.
The way he gripped my thighs.
How eager his tongue was.
And when he growled—God, the sound was positively sinful.
I squirm in my seat again. “Let’s just say… Nate and I reconnected.”
“Let’s say more.”
“I’m crazy about him, okay?” I hold my hands up to stop her from another round of dancing like she did with Addie in my kitchen last week. “It’s Addie’s fault too. The traitor gave him a bottle of wine that he and I popped open, and then—”
“And then you popped your clothes right off too, huh?” Caroline claps and bounces in her seat, enjoying this almost as much as I am.
I’m not one to feel comfortable in the spotlight, but talking with my friend about Nate changes things. It feels good to celebrate the turn of events with her.
“It was stupid of me to pretend I felt nothing for him. I guess I just thought…” I chew on the inside of my cheek as I slowly roll off the high I’ve been riding. “It’s going to sound ridiculous.”
“Oh, please. I once had a real, actual conversation with Austin about how many flannel shirts is too many. Now that was ridiculous. Nothing you say will compete, I promise.”
I laugh, but it’s soft. On a sharp inhale, I glance around the playground, which fills up with more kids now that school has let out. Some chase each other around the perimeter, and others climb on the spider web-looking contraption, the intricate red bars staggered as they meet in the middle.
It’s the perfect distraction as I gather my thoughts. I often pause like this to contemplate. Addie frequently laments this is a flaw of mine. It’s unlike her own rambling of a hundred words per minute.
But it’s part of what makes our friendship work—she fills the silence while I think. Caroline falls somewhere in the middle, and together, we’re the perfect trio.
With a sigh, I finally confess what’s been weighing on me for a while. “It’s just that before Nate came back to town, I started to think I might be cursed or something. That maybe I didn’t deserve love.”
Caroline frowns. “Why would you think that?” She squeezes my hand, much like my sister does. I like it. Caroline has always felt like a sister to me too.
“I’m a lot like my mom, don’t you think?”
She furrows her brows.
“I work a lot, like she did. I live in the same house. I put ice cubes in my soup to cool it off, and I fell in love with baking like she did. I mean, we even look similar too. I once saw a picture of her when she was a teenager, and I couldn’t tell the difference between her and myself.
” I release a nervous laugh. “And the cherry on top is that she was terrible at love. She fell face-first for three guys who ran the second things got hard.”
Caroline’s frown deepens.
“My father disappeared, and so did Dixie’s.” I scoff. “They both ran like cowards. And you know the worst part? My mom actually defended them.” I scoff again, the sound more harsh than before.
“What do you mean?”
“When I’d express any anger or resentment toward my father or Dixie’s, she’d pat my hand and tell me that they didn’t deserve my frustrations.
That they weren’t even bad men. She went so far as to tell me that some people just weren’t built to handle certain challenges in life.
” I shake my head. “Then she went and fell for another guy, who bolted when he found out she was sick. I think he left tire marks in our yard—he couldn’t get away fast enough. ”
“What an asshole.”
“He was. They all were.” I slide the sleeve of my sweater up and over my shoulder, pulling it more tightly around me as the early afternoon breeze picks up. “And yet, she never showed any anger toward them. Not in front of me or Dixie, anyway.”
“Maybe she didn’t want to upset you. Mothers do that sometimes—they hide their true feelings to spare us.” She says it like she’s speaking from experience.
I mull it over, but one nagging thought keeps rearing its prickly head, poking me until I can’t take it anymore. I’ve never said any of this out loud to anyone.
I wanted to talk with Dixie about it. When we talked last, I wanted to express all this to her, but I couldn’t. She wouldn’t have understood.
Worse, she would’ve tried to commandeer the conversation. She might’ve even dismissed me altogether. But Caroline has always been a good listener and an even better shoulder to lean on, no matter how many years we’ve spent apart.
“You might be right, but…” I sigh. I’ve been sighing a lot lately.
“Maybe it’s because she didn’t know what to say or how to handle any of it herself.
She never tried to give Dixie or me advice on love.
It was the one topic she wouldn’t broach, and I’ve often wondered if it was because she didn’t know what to say.
After everything she went through, maybe she didn’t know anything about love, and what if I’m the same? ”
I free my hair from my scrunchie and run a hand through the loose strands. It was starting to feel too tight, but with my hair loose and the confession out there, I feel lighter.
“Anything I thought I knew about love, I learned from Nate, and after we broke up, I started to wonder if I had it all wrong. I certainly never thought I’d experience it again. I haven’t had any luck with guys ever since.”
“Babe, I don’t think you’re cursed. I just think you haven’t found the right guy—the one who’s worthy of you.”
“Am I worthy of Nate, though?” My eyes widen.
I didn’t mean to say it. I know I’ve been loose-tongued this whole time, but did I go too far? It’s the truth, though.
It’s something that’s been on my mind for a while—anytime I think about how different Sabrina and I are. How Nate married her. Then he divorced her too, because no matter how much better I once thought she was, Nate didn’t even want to stay with her.
He wants me.
But I don’t know why he does. Why has he been stuck on me all these years? What does he see in me that he never found in anyone else?
“Maren Clayton.” My friend smacks the back of my arm. It’s weak in sting but definitely strong in warning. “You are the gold here. The standard. The gooiest pumpkin cookie with the most icing.”
This makes me giggle.
“You are too good for any man,” she continues. “And if Nathan McAllister doesn’t know what he has, it’s his own loss. His fuckup. He should know how lucky he is just to be in the same room as you, as far as I’m concerned.”
“When did I put a soapbox out here?” I tease, and she swats at me again. “As one of my best friends, you’re kind of required to say these things.”
Caroline levels me with a pointed look. “We’ve been friends for over twenty years. Do you think we would’ve lasted had I not realized what I had back then?”
“Maybe it’s because I clung to you like a barnacle on a ship. You were stuck with me.”
“And I’m lucky to have sailed the ocean blue with you.”
“You’re ridiculous.” I roll my eyes.
“I’m serious!” Caroline squeezes my face between her palms until my lips are squished together like a pouting fish.
“You deserve to be loved in the fairy-tale sort of way, and judging by the way he couldn’t stop staring at you at my party last weekend, I’d say Nate isn’t messing around.
Give him a real shot, and I believe it’ll be worth it.
But most of all, you need to prioritize your happiness, whether it’s with Nate or not. You deserve to be happy—we all do.”
The woman makes it difficult to argue, even though a comeback is on the tip of my tongue. Because this is Nate—he’s smart and talented and ultra sexy.
And I’m, well, me. It’s hard to imagine a world where we end up together in the long run.
But Caroline’s got me hyped up with all this talk of being a prize that I barely notice the lingering turmoil in the pit of my stomach.
Plus, there’s the acute awareness I have that I’m tattooed on Nate’s body. This, I don’t tell her. It’s only for me to know.
“You’re right.” I toss my hands up.
She flips her hair over her shoulder and cups her ear. “I’m sorry—what was that?”
“You’re right,” I say more loudly.
“That’s what I thought!” She squeals. “Now, what are you going to do?”
I slide out from the bench and untie the apron around my waist. “I’m going to see a boy about a kiss.”