Chapter 32
chapter
thirty-two
MAREN
After my chat with Caroline, I feel like I’ve downed ten espressos and just as many energy drinks.
I practically fly onto Nate’s porch.
But I don’t expect the person who answers the door.
That’s how I metaphorically fall flat on my face with a splat.
I used to think that if I ever met the woman Nate married that I’d give her the cold shoulder like I was still an angry teen. When they got married, I was nineteen with a chip the size of Georgia on my shoulder.
After I opened the coffee truck, I thought if she ever came to town and wandered up to Cream and Sugar, I’d spit in her coffee. I’d risk my solid reputation for petty revenge, even though she didn’t do anything wrong.
She was simply a girl, who met a guy, and they had a baby.
She didn’t how spectacularly that broke me.
But since reconnecting with Nate—plus, hearing the details of their relationship and the circumstances surrounding their marriage—I don’t feel much animosity anymore.
In fact, I almost feel… sympathy.
I can’t imagine what it was like to be a nineteen-year-old college student who’s just found out she’s pregnant. It’s hard not to think of her differently when looking at her through this lens.
But with Sabrina standing right in front of me now, I’m totally blank. Speechless. Frozen in place on Nate’s porch with a box of cookies. They feel like they weigh a hundred pounds as I blink at Sabrina, and she blinks back.
For so long, I’ve known her only by name. It used to be easy to pretend she’s not even a real person. Just a shadowy figure somewhere in the ether.
What do I say to her? Do I run?
Why would I run?
My instincts tumble all over the place and give me an instant headache.
Thankfully, Sabrina breaks the silence.
“Maren.” She says my name simply. It’s warm and kind, even. I’m not sure what I expected. Maybe part of me thought she might want to spit in my drink too.
She must have hated me at some point in the past, right? Nate tattooed pieces of me on his body, so I think it’s safe to say I came up at some point in the last ten years.
Does she hate me like I hated her?
“Hi,” I offer, but it comes out as more of a question.
“It’s nice to meet you in person. I’m Sabrina.” I detect zero distaste, and I’m definitely listening for it.
“I know. Your pictures are everywhere inside,” I blurt. “I mean—”
Her good-natured laugh gives me pause. “That’s my fault. Before I moved, I begged Nate to put up pictures of me so that Teagan wouldn’t forget me. It was silly, but then it became a little joke.”
“Funny.” Again, it sounds like a question. What is wrong with me? Did I forget how to have a conversation?
I’m a civilized person, damn it. And so is she.
She’s a couple inches taller, which is a bit unnerving. But the strands of her hair fall in wispy waves over one shoulder, catching in the large, crocheted threads of her sweater—it happens to me all the time.
It’s normal, just like her.
I need to relax.
Nate appears behind her, baseball hat turned backward on his head and a black tee hugging his biceps. Any thoughts of relaxing disappear. I tense all over.
I’m standing far too close to Nate and the reason I refused to be with him in the first place. No matter how much I’ve overcome in the last few weeks, or how little he and Sabrina actually felt for each other, this is still fucking weird.
“Maren.” He sidesteps Sabrina and joins me on the porch, where he slips a hand around my waist and brushes his lips across my temple.
It’s gentle and comforting, but it does nothing to alleviate the stiffness seizing my muscles.
With a nervous laugh, I ease out of his embrace and peek at Sabrina.
Nate’s laugh is not nearly as fake as mine. “She knows about us, Lightning.”
“Honey, I knew before he did,” she says, her tone surprisingly playful.
“Oh, I, um…”
What do I say to that?
I didn’t know Nate had told anyone about us.
The only person I shared with was Caroline, and I’m waiting on Addie to return my phone calls—something that’s never happened before.
If she doesn’t answer on the first ring, she normally calls back within minutes, unless she’s at work.
I’d send a search party out for her, but Scarlett’s her neighbor; she’s confirmed Addie’s safety in the meantime.
If Addie hears the news about Nate and me from someone around town, she might never speak to me again.
But Nate told his ex. His ex who’s also the mother of his child.
I lick my dry lips as my gaze snags on the glittering ring on Sabrina’s finger.
She’s married to someone else, and Nate is with me.
In the end, he’s chosen me.
Everything is fine. Why can’t I stop acting like I’m nine again with my limbs tangled in the monkey bars?
“Hi,” Nate whispers in my hair and pulls me back into his side, where I finally relax a fraction. “What a surprise—a beautiful one.”
They’re acting normal, and so can I.
Which, as it turns out, isn’t hard to do. Not when Nate is next to me with his arm wrapped around my waist.
My lips curl into a soft smile, and I hold up the box of goodies. “I come bearing gifts.”
“Cookies?” Teagan appears in the doorway and darts straight for the box in my hands.
That’s when Nate drags his arm away. We did agree to wait before we tell Teagan, which made total sense. It can be a tricky situation when parents bring new partners into the picture, and I respect Nate for wanting to handle it appropriately.
It’s one of a million ways he’s such a good father—and another reason I’m so crazy about him.
“Molasses dream—yes!” Teagan is seemingly too preoccupied with the cookies to notice any affection between us, anyway. Then she points over her shoulder. “Miss Maren, look! Mommy came for Thanksgiving. She’s going to come to the bake-off.”
“I couldn’t miss it.” Sabrina smiles.
“Why don’t you take those inside? We can have them after I show you how to throw a football.
” Nate nods toward the house. After she thanks me for the cookies, Teagan rushes back inside.
Then Nate turns to me and says, “She’s been flipping through my yearbooks and going on about my football pictures.
Wants to know how to play all of a sudden. ”
I snap my fingers. “She and Evie love the park by my truck. You should join them sometime. There’s a lot of space to throw a ball.”
“We’ll come by this weekend. The weather is supposed to be nice.” Nate grins down at me, and I could melt like heat to plastic right where I stand.
Those dimples really are magical.
“She’d love it,” Sabrina chimes in.
I’d momentarily disappeared into the bubble I share with Nate and Teagan, and I almost forgot there was anyone else here.
Mere moments ago, I couldn’t gather my wits about me in front of this woman, but then Nate appeared and left little room for my flustered nerves.
“Ready!” Teagan bounces between us and down the steps. She only stops along the way to give me a quick, one-armed squeeze.
A football is clutched under her other arm. She probably saw pictures of her father holding the ball like that. It’s cute, really. How she wants to learn more about him. I’m sure it’s heartwarming for Nate too, to share pieces of himself from Sapphire Creek.
As they toss the ball back and forth, I’m left with Sabrina on the porch, but I’m not as uncomfortable as I was when she opened the door. It’s clear that I belong here too.
“Nate is so good with her.” I beam.
“He is.” Sabrina smiles. “Of course, he’ll have you believe the opposite. He’s always been his own worst enemy—and biggest critic.”
“He was like that in high school too.”
“Not surprised.” She shakes her head. “He would constantly beat himself up if he put Teagan’s diaper on backwards or couldn’t rock her to sleep very easily. He could never do her hair the way she liked, and her ponytail would constantly fall out of the scrunchy.”
It’s just like Nate to get worked up over such trivial things. He lives by the old saying “anything worth doing is worth doing right.” To him, nothing is trivial.
“But he won’t tell you about getting up every night to sit with me while I nursed Teagan as a baby.
Nate was always there, refilling my water and rubbing my back.
He was really there for me, and he’s always been there for our daughter.
That’s what makes him a special father—what makes Teagan happy. ”
My throat constricts, and a fuzzy current zaps my chest, jump-starting my heart. It beats faster and faster with a familiar feeling.
It’s a feeling I’m too afraid to assign a name to at the moment.
Sabrina turns to me, meeting my eye, and it’s slightly unsettling being the sole focus of such intensity. She’s intimidating, especially considering all the impressive things I know about her. A bigger part of me, though, is also glad Teagan has such a strong role model.
She has two loving, present parents who would do anything for her.
“We never should’ve gotten married in the first place. We loved each other, but we were never in love.” Sabrina’s gaze on me continues to be unyielding, and sweat trickles down the back of my neck. “He never looked at me the way he looks at you.”
The fuzzy warmth spreading throughout my body careens to a stop, and I freeze.
“I don’t know how much he’s told you about us. Nate is a respectful Southern gentleman to a fault, so I’m sure he left out the messy details. Let me fill you in.”
“Oh, no. You don’t, um…” I bite my lip as Teagan’s cheers erupt each time she catches the ball. Beyond her, I find Nate stealing glances our way, curiosity blinking in his dark eyes.
“It’s a short story,” Sabrina says, like a promise. As if the length of the story is the reason I’m reluctant to hear this.
I’m intrigued, for sure, but would knowing her side of the story change how I feel? No. There was a time when I’d sell my coffee truck to find out what had happened between them, but now… I don’t have that burning hunger for the details.
Nate’s told me everything I need to know. I know how he feels about me, and it’s more than enough.
“We don’t have to get into that.” I offer a small smile, but she doesn’t budge.
“I think you should know.”
It seems to me that Sabrina might need to get this off her chest for her own benefit instead of mine, so I don’t insist any further.
“We took a lot of the same classes, and we became fast friends.” She lifts a shoulder as if to say, “It’s easy to do when Nate makes you feel like the only person in the room.” It’s a feeling I know—and love.
“It was so stupid—that night. He was still reeling from your breakup. He missed you like crazy, which he told me about a hundred times over a case of beer. And I’d gotten into this huge fight with my brother because I’d been secretly dating his best friend, and he’d found out after we’d broken up—so cliché.
” She rolls her eyes. “Actually, that whole night was a cliché. Two friends wallowing over breakups who decide to sleep together, just once. Just to try something new. But it was all wrong. We were never going to speak of it again, but then…”
“Teagan,” I finish on an exhale. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath to begin with.
“Teagan.” Sabrina dips her head and tucks her hair behind her ear, revealing several gold piercings along the outside of her lobe.
It’s the first sign of hesitation that she’s shown.
“We were young and scared and so many other things. We let my father’s lectures and warnings get the best of us.
” She blows out a shaky breath. “He’s always been so traditional, and I think he got into Nate’s head about doing the right thing. ”
I swallow around the lump in my throat, and my heart squeezes.
“In many ways, marriage eased some of our stress. It just wasn’t right, though.
We were never meant to be, and we both knew it.
We just didn’t admit it right away.” Her eyes turn pleading as they land on me once again.
“We’d gotten ourselves tangled in a mess that we were afraid to get out of.
We didn’t even know how. With Teagan in the mix, it was hard to think clearly.
We’ve always wanted what’s best for her, and it took a while to admit that splitting up our family was, in fact, the best thing. ”
If I’m not mistaken, her tone is filled with… guilt. Does she think she owes me some sort of apology? Is that why she insisted on sharing this?
“But it’s never too late, you know?” She lifts a shoulder.
“What do you mean?”
“Never too late to be happy.”
I hum in response.
Her smile is small, but there’s something mischievous in the curl of her lips, like she knows too much—like she knows more than I do. “He moved here of all places.”
“It’s his home,” I venture.
She looks me square in the eye. “It’s where you are.”
My heart stutters as I avert my gaze back toward the yard, where Nate tosses the football to Teagan, who jumps to catch it, but it slips through her small hands.
“He didn’t have to move. He could’ve stayed in LA, but he didn’t want to.
He could’ve moved anywhere, but he didn’t even consider any place other than Sapphire Creek.
And it’s not just because it’s his hometown.
I think it’s because he’s always waited for his chance with you.
Part of him has always been locked into autopilot until he could be with you, Maren. ”
My heart has barely been holding itself together for the last ten years. Metaphorical duct tape and sheer determination have kept it pumping, albeit hardly alive. The past few weeks have made that perfectly clear.
But with everything that’s happened, my heart is finally free of so many of its walls. What Sabrina is saying is touching. It’s something I never knew I needed from her—from the woman who was once Nate’s wife.
With all of this—plus all that Nate revealed last night—it makes me think I was foolish to believe he ever saw me as convenient. All those silly assumptions fly right out the window.
“I, um…” My swallow is thick with emotion. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Nothing to say.” Sabrina gently pats my arm. “Just let yourself feel, and go from there.”
“I will,” I say—and I mean it.
Chasing feelings was always something my mother was guilty of. It never ended well for her in the romance department, but maybe it doesn’t have to be that way for me. After all, this isn’t my mother’s story.
This is my story—mine and Nate’s—and we can write it however we want.