Chapter 35 #2
She didn’t know Nate and I were together again.
The last time Dixie and I talked, I’d repeatedly told her not to worry. That I wouldn’t go back down this road.
But I have. I’m wrapped up in Nate, and yet again, it’s blowing up in my face as we speak.
I never shared any of this with my sister, and she had to hear it from the gossip train in town.
Shit.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Nate.” I sigh.
“You didn’t tell me about him because you knew what I’d say, right?”
“That’s not it at all.”
“Have you two talked about any of the issues I brought up to you?”
“As a matter of fact, we have.” I rub my tired eyes. “We’re talking about them, anyway, but what’s the rush, Dixie? It’s not like we’re walking down the aisle tomorrow.”
The sting of her sharp, humorless laugh pricks my skin. “I think you’re making a mistake, and as much as I hope I’m wrong, I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m not.”
I wince against her words and my increasingly cruel headache.
Since we’re on the subject, it might be in my best interest to tell her what happened yesterday, but I can’t stomach the thought of telling her she might’ve been right about him. Not when she’s going to undoubtedly slap me with an “I told you so.”
“Unless…” Her once-over leaves goose bumps along my skin. There’s no doubt that she can see the writing on the wall, or in this case, my red, puffy eyes and unbrushed hair. “Things with Nate have already gone south, and I was totally right. I told you this would happen.”
There it is.
My own humorless laugh escapes before I have the chance to think better of it. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”
“Excuse me?” She rises onto her feet.
“You just love to criticize me,” I blurt.
“If it’s not where I choose to live, it’s how I spend my money.
If it’s not that, it’s who I date. You act like I don’t know how to function if you’re not holding my hand through everything, but spoiler alert—I’m doing just fine without you, Dixie.
Just because you can’t fix your own life, it doesn’t mean you should meddle in mine. ”
She shrinks back an inch, a mix of shock and anger swirling in her brown eyes.
I gape. Did I really just say that to her? My heart sped up with every word I spoke, and I gained momentum by the second, but I didn’t mean to take it so far.
“What, pray tell, is that supposed to mean?” My sister juts her chin up like she’s daring me to answer. Like it would be beneficial for me to take it all back and zip my lips up with a padlock.
But it’s too late to turn back now. “Come on, Dixie. Let’s put it out there already—you settled.”
Her jaw drops, and hurt flashes across her features like a dark cloud slipping across a previously bright sky.
“You settled for a job in HR because it’s reliable, with a cushy salary and benefits. You married Barrett because he’s safe and organized and logical. It’s hardly romantic, but you don’t care about romance or sparks, do you? Not if it means there is even a chance you’d end up like Mama.”
Her nostrils flare much like my own when I’m tamping down an impending explosion of rage.
“That’s it, isn’t it? You were scared to take a chance that you’d be abandoned like she was, so you legally bound yourself to the first boring guy with a solid credit score you met and an equally boring job for a comfortable little life.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.
” She takes a menacing step toward me, but I don’t move.
I might be harsh, but it seems like this is the only way to get through to her.
I’m done letting her push me around. “You don’t know anything about marriage or being an adult.
You’ve never even been serious with a guy, and now you’re acting like you’re eighteen again, dating someone who left you once already like he’s not going to do it again. ”
“At least I’m having fun. Can you say the same? You and Barrett schedule time for sex, for crying out loud. And let’s be honest, you started doing that long before you were trying to get pregnant.”
“It’s not all about fun, and if you could be serious for five minutes, you’d see it takes a lot more than that to make a relationship work.” Her lips tighten so hard they practically disappear. “Hopefully, you’ll come to your senses—before it’s too late.”
She brushes past me and doesn’t glance back. She pulls out of my driveway, and her perfectly serviced car disappears around the corner with a squeal of her tires.
The echo of her ominous warning hits me with a silent side of “bless your heart.” I’ve heard it plenty of times from her, the ladies down at Bready or Knot, and anyone else who has ever asked about my father.
Being on the receiving end of it from my own sister brings the sting to a whole new level. It straight up fucking scorches me.
Irritation gnaws at my skin until I’m on the verge of screaming right here in the middle of my front porch.
Dixie didn’t have the decency to wait for me to invite her inside. We didn’t even share a drink. We stood out here in broad daylight with the chill skittering along our cheeks, but it’s no match to the chill that cut between us.
She and I haven’t fought in years. Not since before Mama was diagnosed.
I’ve never questioned my sister, but this bullshit display of assholery obliterated so many boundaries. She’s protective because she cares, but her total disregard for my feelings and what I want out of my life strikes a nerve.
She’s crossed the line from sisterly guidance to being plain pushy as fuck.
What else could go wrong? Will my car explode tomorrow? Or maybe the sun will disappear, or a random earthquake will open a sinkhole just for me.
At this point, would the latter be such a bad thing?