Chapter 40
Penelope
By the time I arrived at the Central Park Conservancy Gala, it was in full swing. I walked through the towering gables, each
adorned with twinkling lights, and made my way to the main ballroom overlooking the pond.
The park surrounding the Loeb Boathouse was lit with string lights hung along the wooden beams inside and along branches in
trees surrounding the pond outside.
The crisp fall air wisped around the bursting autumnal oranges and reds that checkered the trees.
I was a bit late and told Xander I’d meet him here since I got caught up with some work at the firm, but when I did arrive,
I saw Sloan standing beside Marcus and her brother and Selena. The four stood there, a few steps off from the entrance, silently
watching. Although the appropriate word was probably staring .
“Who is that?” I asked Sloan, her vision fixated on the woman in the poorly fitted black dress.
Across the room, in a corner on her own, she tucked her light brown hair behind her ear. Her eyes wide and body tense, she
shifted her weight between her feet, the fabric of her dress bunched and rippled awkwardly.
I couldn’t help but feel a little bad for whoever she was.
“Is she back?” Sloan murmured, lost in thought, and I knew she didn’t hear me. She glanced around the room, no doubt looking for CeCe for any additional information.
My first thought was that the mystery woman was a patron of the conservancy. When I watched as her eyes stopped on Xander
I had a feeling about who she was. Then, when I saw genuine surprise sweep along his face when he saw her, I knew.
It was Reina. The ghost of Xander’s past, here, in the present.
The question I found myself needing answered was right in front of me.
“Oh,” Sloan stammered as she looked at me then to Marcus and Henry, who both gave her the same unsure look. “She’s...”
“Xander’s ex,” Marcus cut in plainly. I looked at Marcus but from my periphery I could see the two walking toward each other.
“From a very long time ago.”
I nodded and I couldn’t stop my attention from moving back to them.
“I’m sure whatever she has to say won’t take long. Come on, let’s get him,” Sloan decided; the high-society coating melted
off her. I didn’t know who she was trying to protect: me or Xander, probably both, but she looked ready for battle.
“No.” I took a gentle hold of her wrist. I tried to smile through the deep ache in my chest. “There’s no harm in talking.
We’re all civilized adults in polite society.”
“It’s nothing,” Sloan assured me, but the confidence in her tone didn’t hide the uneasiness that painted her face. “It was
forever ago.”
“Exactly,” I agreed. “An ex is hardly a reason to make a scene.”
With that, the four took my hint and made themselves scarce. I tried not to watch as the two made conversation. I hated how
quickly the sight pulled me from the high I was riding in anticipation of seeing him.
“I got a strange call one New Year’s morning a couple years ago, asking how to care for a houseplant in dire straits.” Madison’s voice broke my stare. I looked away from Xander and Reina to a comforting smile from Madison. “It didn’t click until much later. But I always thought it was her.”
A sharp pain wedged itself between my ribs.
“They have history, that’s all,” I insisted. “It’s nothing.”
“Oh, I know.” Madison’s voice picked up into a cheerful pitch. She gently swirled her glass, the wine made graceful laps around
the crystal goblet. “I’ve heard his nickname for you.”
“Pardon?”
“Poppy.” She smiled demurely. “Those poppies are from you, aren’t they?”
“Yes,” I answered. My brow wrinkled together.
“The greenhouse was an engineering feat. He had it built for the flowers.”
“Greenhouse?”
“That balcony, it functions as a high-altitude greenhouse. Withstands hurricane-force winds. It’s new,” Madison explained.
“That’s why I was there a couple times last spring. I know the society gossips said we were still dating, but he needed some
help with getting engineers and filling out the space with other plants. I had a few suggestions for him.”
The realization blossomed slowly like a flower in the springtime sun.
“You’d think those poppies sprouted diamonds the way he worried about them,” Madison added.
“His mother loved to garden,” I muttered blankly, feeling every knotted muscle in my body relax.
“Did she?” Madison shrugged, her tone even, almost bored. “He never really talked about her with me.”
“I suppose I should let them finish their conversation,” I said, despite wanting nothing more than to pull him away from this party.
“Interrupt or don’t. It doesn’t matter. He’s charming for everyone,” she pointed out as she began to walk away. “But from
what I can tell, he’s completely serious for only one person.”
“Madison,” I called quickly. She stopped and turned back to me. “Thank you.”
For a time, I wondered how it was that none of his exes harbored any animosity toward him. It felt unnatural. But the more
I got to know and understand him, it was obvious.
Xander never did anything that might make him lose someone. So even relatively meaningless relationships were treated with
care because when you were scared to lose people, you didn’t discard them—his charm was a survival tactic.
“Don’t mention it, Mrs. Sutton.” She gave me a knowing smile, and floated along the party, mingling with her guests.
His exes had all come and gone with civility because they were something of placeholders in his life. It was easy to remain
friendly when nobody’s heart was broken. Relationships without true depth meant you couldn’t possibly drown.
But I wasn’t a placeholder.
A rush of warmth seeped through me because, in that moment, the truth that I was too nervous to let myself believe was right
there in front of me.
I was the person he was holding a place for.