Chapter 3
The woman who came out of his bedroom wasn’t the same one who had gone in. Kurt knew that with one look. There was a brittleness about her now that made him sick to his stomach to see. To know he had caused it. How was he supposed to make this right? “Greer…I…should tell you…I…”
Hell, how did he find the words to tell her he’d let her down? In the biggest way imaginable? He’d never had a condom break before that he remembered. He was pretty damned close to panicking here. He never would have hurt her this way. Never.
She held up a hand. The look on her face had him falling silent.
“I don’t want another word between us. As far as I’m concerned, you are the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my entire life.
And you ceased to exist the moment you couldn’t climb off me fast enough after you got what you wanted.
Take me home. And then…stay away from me, forever.
You made me feel sick. I’ll never forgive you for that, you jerk. Ever.”
He just nodded. He’d heard the tears in her voice. He’d made her cry. The last thing he had ever wanted to do was make her cry. Not her. “I—”
Greer should never cry. She had a beautiful laugh. When she laughed, the world just felt brighter. For everyone around her. Especially him. She’d captivated him from the moment they had met. Even when he knew how dangerous that was.
As she grabbed her bag and her denim jacket and headed to the door it occurred to him—he would never get to hear Greer laugh just for him again.
She would never look at him like he was the greatest man in the world ever again.
Would never look at him with that somewhat bold, somewhat shy look that melted his damned insides every single time. Never again.
He’d never get to just cuddle her on his couch while they watched TV after a long, hard day ever again. He’d never get to hold her, and just know that he wasn’t alone—not ever again. This woman had made him feel like he mattered—for the first time in a long, long time. If ever.
Wild grief had him cursing as he grabbed his car keys.
He turned in time to see her flinch again. She had always done that the few times he’d cursed in her presence. He had never bothered to ask her why; he had just stopped cursing around her. Now he wished he had asked.
Wished he had spent tonight talking, instead of…
What the hell had he done tonight?
He could have...should have…just held her. Made sure she was okay, and that he hadn’t hurt her. They could have slept curled up around each other in his bed, all night long. He could have loved her awake in the morning, then held her all over again.
Then…he could have slowly broken things off after a little while. So that he didn’t hurt her. That was his biggest regret, his stupidest mistake.
He didn’t have to hurt her the way he had. If he had just kept his damned mouth shut, not said the first thing to come flying out in his bedroom, he could have done this better.
But…there was no future for them together. He’d always known that. She was a Hiller. And the Hillers had taken all the family he had away from him.
He was going to fix that. As soon as he had the proof he needed. Gene Hiller would pay for what he had done. Kurt had been planning that for a long time.
Kurt just hadn’t intended for the man’s baby sister to be a part of that price. Kurt had far more honor than that.
He never would have hurt her to get back at her brother.
He drove her home.
He tried to get her to talk to him. To let him apologize to her. To tell her the truth—that she was far too good for a man like him. That…she would find a better man than him some day.
That…she would forget him and what he had done to her. She agreed with that.
Then she just stopped talking to him at all.
Someday, she would find a man worthy of loving her. Who would teach her what good lovemaking was all about. Who would appreciate her for the gift she was, and treat like the the queen she deserved to be.
It was not going to be him.
Kurt watched her as she unlocked the door to her apartment and hurried inside before he pulled out. He wanted to stay there. He couldn’t deny that.
He wanted that woman so damned much his bones ached. He would want her forever. And…he had ruined everything tonight. He would never be able to fix it.
She was a Hiller—and there was no future between them because of that.
Still, she was better off without him. He wasn’t good enough to be the man she needed. Not in this life, anyway. There really wasn’t anything he could do to change that.
It was probably best if he just let her go forever. He was the last kind of man she would ever need.