33. Diesel
33
DIESEL
T hey decided to take a cab down to the fair. This way, they could both have a few drinks and not have to worry about who would be driving home.
Feeling a tad nervous, Diesel snuck in a few shots of tequila before he left his room for their… date? Yes, he was one of those guys who kept booze hidden in his bedroom. He liked a drink every now and then. There was nothing wrong with drinking alone, in your bedroom, late at night. It was one of his vices, and fuck anyone who tried to judge him for being who he was.
These days, booze was the only thing he kept hidden away in his bedroom. Following his last drug-induced bender, Matteo had the cleaning staff do a deep clean of his bedroom, clearing out all the drugs, pills, and paraphernalia they happened to find hidden in every little crevice.
And boy, were they thorough. Who knew the sweet little cleaning ladies were so good at finding expertly hidden stashes? But in the end, they found every last reserve he had hidden around his fucking room.
Booze, on the one hand, was the one vice Diesel was allowed to keep. So long as he didn’t let it lead him back to drugs. Matteo was closely monitoring that.
“So what do you want to do first?” Zero asked, purchasing two tickets from the lady at the booth.
The woman was dressed in a brightly colored outfit, complete with glittered eyelashes and techno-colored hair that stuck out at all angles. It was kind of like staring at a rainbow-haired porcupine.
The fair itself had been constructed on some cleared farmland about forty-five minutes away from where they were staying. There were rides, games, and food booths scattered throughout. Bulbs had been strung overhead to provide guests with a bit of light to help guide them around the fair.
For midweek, it wasn’t too crowded. Diesel guessed the place would be packed come the weekend.
“Umm, how about we go check out a few of those games first?”
“Sweet! I’m awesome at anything that involves shooting.”
“Good with a gun, are you?” Diesel asked, walking toward a booth where a little girl was shooting water at a clown’s face. The hat on the clown slowly moved upward, steadily approaching the word “winner.”
Zero gave him a smirk. “A while back, I used to run with a crew whose one requirement was that you knew how to use a gun… just in case.”
Diesel glanced up at Zero. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know, but the question was eating at him. “You ever killed a man?”
Shaking his head, Zero passed two pounds over to the gaming attendant. “No, I got out before I was ever asked to do something like that. I did put a man in the hospital once though.”
Diesel sat down in front of the water gun and waited for Zero to take the seat right next to him.
“Did he deserve it?”
“No. No man ever deserves to be beaten the way that that man was.” There appeared to be so much remorse in Zero’s voice. He wondered what the whole story was.
Turning back to face his evil smiling clown, Diesel gripped the trigger and waited for the buzzer to go off, beginning their game.
“You’d be surprised,” Diesel whispered under his breath, thinking about his mother and stepfather and how much he wanted them to pay for what they had done to him.
The buzzer sounded, and water began shooting out of the guns that they held, drowning the evil clowns where they stood taunting them.
Diesel glanced at Zero from the corner of his eye. He tried not to laugh at the look of concentration plastered on the man’s face. With his tongue peeking out slightly from the side of his mouth, Zero’s biceps flexed as he squeezed the trigger with all his might.
There was something innocent and sweet about the boyish look of excitement hidden under that veil of concentration. Zero really wanted to win this. It was cute.
Diesel lessened his grip on the trigger, causing the water pressure of his gun to reduce just enough to allow Zero to take the lead. He smiled to himself. He wanted to see that look of excitement when the retired CK model realized his goal and won the game.
Above them, a bell dinged, and lights began flashing over the top of Zero’s creepy-ass clown face. And people claim that Bruno was creepy? He would rather face a thousand Brunos in a dark room than one creepy-ass wet clown face on its own.
Zero jumped from his seat victoriously, arms raised above his head.
“I won! I won!”
Yes, you won… Diesel forced the smile he felt to remain hidden beneath the surface.
“What do you want? Choose anything. Anything you like!” he heard Zero cheer.
Talk about an excited golden retriever. It appeared that the man had a competitive streak buried deep down… right next to his generous nature.
“What?” Diesel asked, turning to face the happy, gleaming man. He didn’t think that the one-night stand would actually be giving him his hard-earned prize.
Could he really refer to Zero as a one-night stand any longer? They had fucked and exchanged orgasms—on multiple occasions, no less. That had to be breaking some kind of one-night-stand sex rule or something.
Had they now crossed over into “fuck buddy” territory?
“What prize do you want? Anything. Pick.”
Diesel glanced at the man standing behind the counter gesturing toward the row of stuffed animals.
“But… you won. The prize is yours.” He wasn’t sure what the proper etiquette was. Should he take the man’s offered prize? Was Zero just being polite? Would the dude get offended if he said no?
He kind of wanted the prize now that it was being offered. It was a sign of Zero’s triumph but also a symbol of Zero’s affection toward him.
“Yeah, and I won the game for you. So pick. Choose. What stuffed animal do you want?”
He won the game for him ?
Butterflies took flight within Diesel’s belly. No one had ever won anything for him before.
Turning back to the row of animals, he quickly skimmed over the selection.
“Umm, how about… the lion with the top hat?”
The man retrieved the prize, then passed it over to Diesel, who took it and stared into the plush animal’s eyes. He tried not to tear up. He wasn’t used to this kind of kindness from someone he barely knew.
“Great choice,” Zero sang, slinging his arm over Diesel’s shoulder and leading him toward a row of small boats floating in a makeshift canal of water.
“Hope you’re not afraid of water,” Zero hummed, holding Diesel’s arm and helping him into one of the boats.
“Something tells me that if this boat capsizes, I’ll be able to walk back to shore.” He rolled his eyes and gave Zero a sarcastic grin.
As Diesel waited for Zero to step into the boat, he wondered how this carnival crew created a canal with water and erected this ride in so little time. The fair was only here for two weeks before it moved on to the next city.
The boat began moving, quickly disappearing into a tunnel of darkness. A gentle, cool breeze brushed against Diesel’s face. They must be pumping air into the tunnel, perhaps to keep the machinery cool in the summer heat.
Their boat shifted in the dark, turning an unseen corner. A gasp escaped Diesel’s lips as messages of love and hope glowed back at them against the dark backdrop. The tunnel was dimly lit, illuminated by white and pink string lights hanging from the ceiling and walls.
Great, they were in a love tunnel. How roman ? —
Diesel’s heart stopped in his chest when Zero’s hand slid over his and gripped it. The gesture was so sudden and gentle that it caught Diesel completely by surprise.
This really was a date.
Diesel swallowed hard.
“Umm, is this alright?” Zero asked, with a hint of insecurity slipping from his lips.
Diesel’s eyes lowered to where their hands were connected and rested gently on the surface of his lap. It was sweet how shy and vulnerable Zero was being. He had to admit, he liked feeling special for once. Like someone didn’t think that they were worthy enough to be holding his hand.
How could anyone not love that feeling?
Before he was able to chicken out, he covered both their hands with his other free hand.
“Yes, of course it is,” Diesel responded.
His natural reaction was to respond with one of his witty, sarcastic comments, but now was not the time to be his usual jackass self. The man was showing his cards. Letting him peek behind the curtain and see what was really behind those guarded brown eyes.
Taking Diesel’s hand was clearly something that Zero struggled with. And Diesel totally understood the feeling. It was hard to open up and let people in. Showing feelings left one vulnerable to either ridicule or being taken advantage of. Diesel knew those feelings all too well.
After the debacle with his family, he promised himself that he would never let anyone have power over him again. Even with Matteo, it took a long time to learn to trust and let the man in. It wasn’t easy. Matteo worked his ass off to earn his trust and prove to him that he wasn’t a threat. That he loved him and only wanted the best for him.
Was he really ready to let another person into his heart? Could he trust the man sitting next to him? He really wanted to. So far, Zero had shown nothing but admirable qualities in spite of all the bullshit Diesel had thrown at him.
Smiling, Zero began drawing circles on Diesel’s hand with his thumb, a habit that Diesel was starting to really enjoy.
“So tell me about little Zero?” Diesel asked, leaning his body up against Zero’s shoulder.
“My dick?” Zero choked. His voice raised loud enough to capture the attention of the couple in the boat a few feet in front of them.
Chuckling, Diesel shook his head. “No, you idiot. I meant little Zero, as in child Zero. What was it like growing up in the Zero household? Did you get along with your folks? Did you set fire to the family car?”
Zero’s grip around Diesel’s hand tightened. Perhaps this wasn’t the best conversation topic .
“There’s not much to tell. My father was a conman who used to rip people off for a living. He used to take me on jobs with him cus who would ever suspect that a man with a child would try and rip them off? And my mother? She left my dad and me when I was eleven. She went out to the video store, then never came back.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. How do you know that your mother ran off?”
“She emptied all the cash my parents had been saving in a coffee can under the sink and took her toothbrush and makeup from the bathroom. People don’t take that shit when they’re planning on coming back home.”
Feeling his pain, Diesel squeezed his hand a little harder, hoping to force all of his strength into the man sitting next to him. He didn’t like seeing Zero down and wished that he could somehow absorb all of his pain and misery into himself.
Not caring what people thought, Diesel leaned his head against Zero’s shoulder. He couldn’t help but grin when he felt tender lips press against his head.
Zero was a good man.
They had both been through some pretty rough times in their lives, but sitting here, floating through this dark, peaceful tunnel of love, Diesel couldn’t think of a single hateful thing.