Chapter 15 Cole
“Good morning, sunshine,” Enzo sang as soon as I walked into the kitchen.
I was desperate for a cup of coffee, and he passed me a cup with a big, bright smile full of questions.
“Good morning,” I huffed and took a sip before bending down to kiss Ella’s forehead. “Good morning, sweetheart.”
“Mo’ning, Daddy,” she replied, and my heart melted.
I put a couple of slices of bread in the toaster before I sat down at the kitchen island to nurse my coffee.
“So… how was your date last night? I didn’t hear you come in.”
He wiggled his eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes because I knew exactly what he was suggesting.
“Then you should clean your ears because I got home at ten.”
Enzo sucked in his cheeks and hugged his coffee closer before he said, “That’s still plenty of time for things to happen.”
I huffed.
“We had dinner. That’s it.” I groaned and closed my eyes, remembering the disappointment in Samir’s eyes when I stepped back before he could kiss me.
I didn’t know how I knew that he was thinking about it, but I just did. Even though I was out of practice with this whole dating thing.
“Seriously? That’s freaking boring. Come on, dude. Where is fun Cole?”
I sighed.
That was quite the question, wasn’t it? Where was the fun me? The obvious answer was that I’d buried him along with Sandra, but that would bring the mood down significantly, and I didn’t need to do that. Not in front of Ella.
“What did you expect?” I asked. “That we’d be playing ‘where’s the sausage’ from the word go?”
“Sauseege,” Ella cheered from her high chair, and Enzo chuckled.
“I don’t know, dude. I thought maybe you’d throw yourself back into the game instead of being sad.”
“Who told you I was sad? We had a great date,” I said.
Enzo nodded. “Sure. Sure.”
I shook my head and focused on my coffee, then the toaster that threw my slices of bread out, which I slathered in blueberry jam.
Had I been a terrible date? Had Samir expected something more to happen? Did it matter? Would I even be ready to do something even if Samir was?
The truth was I didn’t know why I’d stepped away last night. What I was afraid of. But I was afraid of something.
Enzo gave Ella a spoonful of oatmeal and then looked at the living room and sighed.
“What?” I asked.
“We still haven’t put a tree up,” he said. “Do you think you can go get one today?”
I glanced at the direction he was looking and grimaced.
“Why can’t you do it?”
“I have to go to work soon, and I’m working all day thanks to a certain owner deciding to step back.”
I glared at my friend.
“Are you serious? You guys forced me to step away.”
Enzo smirked, but I kept glaring.
“I know. I’m just messing with you. Anyway, tree? Today?”
I looked at my daughter, and she looked back at me with a smile full of oats.
“Tree shopping with my daughter? Yeah. Sounds fun,” I said.
I wiped her mouth and gave her another spoonful of the stuff when I noticed Enzo was staring.
“What?”
“Why don’t you invite Samir to come with you?” he said.
I opened my mouth to protest but the prospect of spending more time with him had a certain appeal to it. Besides, it’d be good to see how he was with kids for longer than two minutes.
When I looked up at Enzo, he was still waiting for an answer, but amusement was evident on his face.
“Why would I invite him?” I said.
I didn’t need Enzo to know I wasn’t that opposed to these twelve dates thing with Samir. Enzo was already insufferable. I didn’t need him to be completely annoying by telling him I enjoyed Samir’s company.
“Why not? It’s your chance to get another date down, anyway.”
I pretended to ponder it over for a minute before I relented and sent a message to Samir.
His response was immediate.
Samir: I’d love to join you.
I swallowed a frog that formed in my throat instantly and tried to bite down the smile that threatened to break through my lips. But I didn’t let it show. Not just for Enzo but for myself too. I didn’t need to get too attached to the idea of Samir.
Even if the thought of seeing him again caused somersaults in my stomach.
He stood outside the bookstore when I pulled up, dressed in a straight, long gray coat that made him look so formal and sexy, and his huge smile only made him more attractive.
He got into the passenger seat, and the first thing he did after putting his seatbelt on was turn to the back and wave at Ella.
“Hello, gorgeous girl. Are you excited to go Christmas tree shopping?”
I checked on Ella in the rearview, and she nodded all shy and cute. Gosh, I loved my daughter.
“Thanks for tagging along,” I said.
“Thanks for asking me to tag along,” he replied.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d mind.” I pursed my lips and glanced at him.
“Why would I mind?”
I shrugged.
“Because… picking a Christmas tree. You don’t even celebrate it, do you?”
He laughed.
“I don’t but that doesn’t mean I don’t like being wrapped up in the holiday spirit. This town is so pretty at Christmas.”
I breathed a sigh of relief and focused on the drive that looked like a holiday card right out of Hallmark.
“It is,” I said.
The Christmas music from the radio became a quiet lullaby in the car on our way to Hummingbird County and Peregrine’s tree farm.
It was such a weird vibe. We were strangers sitting in a car on our way to do something so intimate and yet it felt…
cozy. Almost family-like. But I quickly shook that notion out of my head.
As soon as we got to the farm, I was deflated. The line was so long. There was no chance we’d get out of here any time soon.
“Busy, huh,” Samir commented, and I sighed.
“I should have expected it. Who knows how long we’ll be here. I hope you haven’t got somewhere to be after this.”
“Don’t worry,” Samir said and reached for my knee, brushing it ever so gently, ever so quickly, and yet it left a scorching mark on the spot that traveled to the rest of my body. “I’m all yours.”
And just like that, I forgot how to breathe, let alone function. Which became apparent when I let out the biggest breath I’d ever exhaled.
“Um…” I stammered. “That’s… that’s good.”
I tried to focus on the view outside my windshield and not the roaring fire that had erupted inside me from his touch, his gaze, his presence.
“There, see. We’re already moving,” Samir pointed out, and I nodded with a dry mouth and a racing heart.
The line did move quickly after that. Then again, I didn’t know what I expected from Peregrine’s. His farm had been a staple on this island since his grandfather’s days. They were a well-oiled machine by now.
We neared the front of the line before we knew it, and as the silence grew in the car, I remembered my discussion with Enzo this morning.
“Am… am I boring?” I asked Samir.
“Huh?” He looked at me with his gorgeous, big, brown eyes, and I forgot how to breathe again.
“Are our dates boring?”
Samir grimaced.
“No. What made you think that?”
I shrugged.
“Something Enzo said,” I mumbled.
“He said our dates are boring? How would he know? He’s not in them.”
I chuckled but turned serious again.
“I know, I just… I haven’t done this in so long. I don’t know if I’m supposed to do more.”
“More… than dinner?” He smirked.
Shit.
“Oh no. That’s not… that wasn’t what I meant.”
Samir laughed and touched my knee again.
I wish he’d stop doing that because it kept derailing my thoughts, and my feelings.
“I know. I was kidding. I may not be a dating pro, but I think we’re doing well. Dinner, getting to know each other, going tree shopping. I think we’re acing this twelve dates of Christmas thing.”
It took me a moment, but I started bobbing my head along eventually getting more and more confident.
“Yeah. You’re right. We’re nailing this.”
Samir smiled, and so did I, but then Ella repeated nailing over and over again and it became… weird.
The farm employee ahead beckoned us closer, and we entered the parking lot where we ditched the car and walked to reception.
Peregrine welcomed us and handed us an ax and let us loose on the farm.
“So!” Samir said, putting the ax over his shoulder, and I had to take a moment to admire how regal he looked. Like a middle-class lumberjack, what with his semi-formal attire, the red scarf, and the ax in his hand. “What size are we looking for?”
“I think seven, eight feet,” I said.
As we walked around trying to find the taller trees, I put Ella down, keeping her hand held tightly in mine as the last thing we needed was a toddler running around when there were axes flying everywhere, but as we walked, I saw her reach for Samir with her other hand.
I bit my lip and waited to see what he’d do, but he grabbed it straight away, and we walked together, all three of us, as if we were a family.
Out of nowhere, thoughts of winters spent cuddled up in front of the fireplace, sipping hot cocoa, tickling Ella’s tummy until she burst out laughing in that cute way that could put a smile on anyone’s face flooded my mind.
Images of waking up at Christmas and showering each other with gifts and kisses.
Of lazy mornings in bed with Ella napping between us as we stared into each other’s eyes.
A flurry of emotions and potential came over me all at once, knocking the wind out of me, and I had to chew on the inside of my cheek to distract me, to remind me that wasn’t a reality. It was probably not even something that could happen.
Or could it?
Was I being silly for dismissing the notion? After all, we were dating. Though was it even serious? Did it mean anything or were we doing it because we had to?
That was stupid.
We didn’t have to do anything.
So did that mean we were actually dating?
I let out a sigh before I gave myself a headache and recalibrated to the task of locating a tree to take home.
“Those look tall enough,” I said and stopped in front of a row of trees that stretched higher than me.
“Yeah,” Samir added, and I narrowed my eyes.
“How tall are you?” I asked.
“Six two,” he replied.
I smiled and pointed at the tree.
“Would you stand next to it?”
Samir obliged me and stood beside it, which was how I realized the trees were a bit taller than what we needed. But we found one that was a few inches taller than him, and he offered to help cut it down.
We stood back, and I watched as Samir took a swing, and I couldn’t help but smile.
I didn’t know what this was between us, not yet anyway, but I wanted to get to know this man better.
He missed with his first try, and then on the second try, there was a sharp popping sound. He turned around to reveal one sleeve had ripped.
“Oh, shoot. I knew it was tight, but not that tight,” he said.
I laughed.
“Do you need me to take over?” I asked.
“No. It’s okay,” he said.
“Okay. Though I am a firefighter. I am a pro with an ax.”
Samir stepped back and grimaced then quickly handed me the ax and grabbed Ella’s hand.
“Don’t let me stop you, Mr. Firefighter.” He grinned, and I responded in kind.
I may not know what we were yet, but what I did know was that I hadn’t smiled so much in years. And that counted for something. Right?