Chapter 20 - Samir
Itouched my lips and remembered his.
I closed my eyes and savored the memory of his taste. It had been so unexpected, I didn’t even remember reacting or bracing myself for it. I simply blinked and his mouth was on mine.
The moment played over and over in my head the whole night, and it was still there when I woke up the following morning; an ethereal shadow over my entire body. A shiver ran down my spine, making the hairs on the back of my neck and along my arms stand on end.
I ran my hand over my semi-hard cock, and a moan escaped me as I got harder on contact.
The feel of his wet and eager tongue in my mouth came back to the forefront of my mind, and I gasped, as if I’d suddenly ran out of air.
My stomach clenched as my cock throbbed, and I bit my lip, pushed down my pajamas, and wrapped my hand around my dick.
Another audible moan ruptured from my throat, and I closed my eyes, focusing on Cole, on the way he held my body as he kissed deeply into me, and the way he looked into my eyes when he pulled away.
I tugged at my cock, and the memory intensified, taking a different shape and form to reality as Cole pushed me against the wall and bit my lower lip, his breath caressing my skin as we stared at each other.
Then, suddenly, we were kissing again, and our tongues were dancing, battling for domination.
Our cocks ground together, creating a tormenting heat that could only be cooled down by breathing into each other, by moaning, by kissing.
The more intense the memory got, the harder I stroked myself. The harder I stroked myself, the rougher Cole kissed me. Reality and fantasy fed into memory, creating a tortuous loop that left me gasping for air and desperate for release.
I squeezed my eyes shut and fucked my hand harder, like I’d never done before, and imagined Cole going down on me, pushing my pants down my ankles and wrapping his perfect, pink lips around my cock.
Desire shot out of me, load after load that stained my pajama top, my sheets, my pillow, heck, even my beard. But even though I wanted to clean it up right away, I was fused into bed, wiped as if I’d worked a double shift, and trying to catch my breath as if I’d ran a marathon.
Yet even as I lay there, staring at my ceiling and trying to remember how my lungs worked, Cole was there every time I closed my eyes, watching me, smiling at me, cleaning me up and savoring my body.
It was no wonder it took me twice as long as usual to get out of bed and took all my efforts not to jerk myself off again in the shower.
When I walked downstairs, Zainab was already there, sweeping the floor. As soon as she saw me, she put the broom down and looped her hand through my arm.
“Don’t you look dashing this morning!” she said.
I grimaced and looked at her. Did she know what I’d been doing upstairs?
I mean, we had been together for almost fifteen years.
I was sure she’d caught me on more than one occasion, but for the most part, she’d been oblivious to my “self-loving” time as I’d been to hers.
What I didn’t know was whether the years we’d been together had taught her what my post-orgasm face looked like.
“I… I do?” I asked.
She smirked.
“You sure do. What happened last night?”
I almost let out a sigh of relief, but I covered it up with a chuckle.
“What the hell do you think happened last night?”
“You tell me.” She grimaced. “You’re the one who went on a date.”
I rolled my eyes and sat down behind the counter.
“It was hardly a date. I got a call about a rescue.”
“Oh,” she said, her excited expression dropping into disappointment. “You did?”
“Didn’t you get my message to check the cupboard?” I raised an eyebrow.
Zainab glanced at her phone on the charger under the counter and shrugged.
“It’s been playing up since last night.”
“So you haven’t checked on them this morning?”
Her eyes went wide, and she rushed to the back. I followed her too, and we checked on the kittens. They were absolutely fine, but we did top up their water and food and left them in peace until it was time for their visit with Duke.
“So, you didn’t go on a date last night?”
I rocked my head from side to side and pressed my lips together.
“Well, we kinda did. He came with me to the rescue and then helped me here.”
Zainab cooed, and I huffed in fake frustration.
“And here I thought you’d finally done the deed.”
“Why would you think that?” I asked and raised an eyebrow.
She put her hands on her hips and glared at me.
“Really? Your face is glowing? What else should I assume.”
I bit my tongue and didn’t move lest I give away what I’d actually been doing in the privacy of my own home, and Zay sighed.
“So nothing happened.”
“Well,” I drawled. “I didn’t say nothing happened.”
Zainab’s eyes lit up, and she shrieked like a schoolgirl.
“Tell me everything!” She grabbed both my hands and sat me back down behind the counter.
And so, I did.
“Gosh. You guys are moving sooo slow! Alina and I had already slept together by the second date,” Zainab said.
I glared at her.
“Thanks for reminding me of your cheating ways,” I told her, but the truth was, I didn’t care about that.
By the time she’d met Alina, Zainab and I were basically roommates with a fancy paper that said otherwise.
“Oh, do shut up, dear, and take the kittens to the vet,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“Yes, dear,” I answered.
I left shortly after. Once Duke gave them the okay, and their flea and worming treatment, I made my way back to the store.
Before I got to work, I sent a message to Cole to make sure our date was still good to go for tonight and got all wrapped up serving customers and wrapping books for the eager beavers who were already buying Christmas presents.
It was only after the lunch rush when I got a few minutes to myself to eat and catch my breath that I checked my phone and the reply waiting for me.
Cole: I’d love to go out but my sitter just bailed. Rain check?
Did I linger on the word second word? Yes, yes, I did. Did my heart flutter reading the message over and over again? Yes, it did. And for a change, I wasn’t ashamed of it.
After last night, I couldn’t have gotten a bigger confirmation that Cole liked me too and wasn’t just going through the motions for the benefit of the auction.
After last night, I was ready to go all-in into this adventure and figure out what awaited me in the end.
Maybe it was heartbreak, but maybe, just maybe, it was something more.
Something I’d been craving my entire life.
A connection. A real-life connection. A relationship. A companionship.
But I had to take this one step at a time. Especially with a kid caught up in the middle of all this.
Samir: Or I could come over and cook us dinner? I don’t mind either way.
His reply came as I returned to work.
Cole: Sure. That’d be nice.
I smiled and replied with a confirmation before I tucked my phone away, though the rest of the day, I couldn’t put away the promise of tonight’s dinner.
By the time I clocked out, I had a shopping list and a plan and got to it right away.
“Have a great time, Mr. Ali,” Elliot wished me from behind the counter.
Zainab, on the other hand, smirked.
“Hope you get lucky.”
I thanked Elliot and ignored Zay and left the bookstore in a rush to get to the grocery store before it closed.
An hour later, I was standing on Cole’s front door with two full bags of groceries and my smartest casual clothes I owned.
“Hey.” Cole opened the door, Ella by his side, holding his hand.
“Hey back,” I said and crouched down to greet the little one too.
“Sami!” she exclaimed and threw her hands around my neck, hooking onto me for dear life, and I couldn’t help but hoist her up when I stood back up.
“I guess I’ll take these.” Cole chuckled and picked up the grocery bags.
He closed the door and guided me through the house. For some reason, the main bedrooms were on the first floor, and the living room and kitchen were on the second.
“My parents wanted to have a view in their sitting room,” Cole explained on the peculiar setup.
As soon as we landed on the second floor, I stopped and took in the view.
“I can’t say I blame them,” I said.
Beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows was a clear uninterrupted view of the night sky and the moon that offered some ambient light in the otherwise dark living room.
After a moment, I put Ella down on the kitchen island and turned to Cole.
“Thank you for offering to cook,” he said.
“Thank you for having me,” I said back, and he smiled.
He looked so sweet, so breathtaking in his home environment. For some reason, it wasn’t what I expected it to be like. I didn’t know if I thought he’d have a bachelor pad or something similarly chaotic, but it was a pleasant surprise, nonetheless.
“So what are we eating?” Cole asked, and I started taking out the groceries and prepping my surface areas.
“How about lamb Surbiyaan? It’s saffron rice with lamb and caramelized onions.”
“Mmm, sounds nice.” Cole licked his lips. “Doesn’t it, Ella?”
Ella looked back at us, doe-eyed, and I laughed.
“Don’t worry, Ella. After tonight, it will be your favorite meal.” I patted her head and got to work.
Ella watched me for a while, but then Cole distracted her with the Christmas tree that still stood naked in the corner of the living room.
While the rice boiled, I helped them out and continued to go back and forth until the food was ready and the tree resembled a piece of art; one of those abstract ones that featured splattered paint on a canvas and gave it a peculiar name like A Day in the Mountains.
“What do you think, Ella? Do you want to put the star on the top?” Cole asked and passed her a wiry, gold star-shaped ornament.
Ella clapped her hands with enthusiasm, and I couldn’t help but smile.
At least she was happy. Wasn’t that the point of these Christmas traditions, or any traditions really?
Weren’t they supposed to be activities to do or gatherings to have with family and friends?
An opportunity to come together amidst days of routine, work, and detachment?
“Yay!” Ella exclaimed, and Cole lifted her up, stretching as far as he could so Ella could put the star on the top, but she still couldn’t reach.
“Here, I’m taller. I can help,” I said.
Cole passed her over, but not before he grimaced and said, “Rub it in, won’t you?” Then he smirked and I laughed.
Ella focused on the task and wedged the star in one of the top branches and threw her hands in the air in victory. It was a little crooked and would probably need adjusting later, but we all celebrated anyway.
Cole hugged me and kissed his daughter’s cheek, which caused her to giggle uncontrollably for some reason. Not that I was complaining. The sound was magical. Healing. Entertaining. The kind of sound that could wipe out anything dark and bad and replace it with goodness and happiness.
Then again, wasn’t all children’s laughter this magical?
“You know what’s left now, don’t you?” Cole asked, and both Ella and I turned to him.
“The Christmas lights of course!” he shouted, making Ella shriek.
I passed her back to him, and I walked over to the outlet, grabbed the plug, and did a countdown. Ella joined in, and on one, I plugged the lights in, illuminating the house in red, yellow, green, and blue.
Christmas might not be my thing but damn it if it wasn’t so easy to be swept away in the holiday spirit, especially when it was so gorgeous.
And Cole was. Gorgeous under the Christmas lighting. Absolutely, positively breathtaking. This whole scene and the whole evening was.
Which probably explained why I couldn’t take my eyes off him as I rejoined them and marveled at our work of art.
He didn’t stop staring at me either. And as we stood so close side by side, I found his hand and brushed it with mine, holding my breath until he interlocked his fingers with me and squeezed.
My heart thumped in my chest. It thumped so loudly I thought for sure they could both hear it, but if they could, they didn’t let on.
“Right, kiddo. Let’s eat. You need to go to bed,” Cole said, and Ella groaned.
He put her down and told her she could stay up an extra minute if she ate all her food, and the poor girl got so excited she ran to the bathroom to wash her hands.
“Pretty sure that’s child abuse,” I told Cole.
Cole laughed.
“What? She doesn’t know a minute isn’t that long. She can hold a grudge when she gets older. It’s already way past her bedtime.”
He started to move past me, and I caught a whiff of cinnamon and spice that made my mouth water. I grabbed his hand. I pulled him close to me. Was it him? Had he used some sort of festive cologne or deodorant or something? And why couldn’t I resist it?
He stopped and looked at me and kept looking at me as I brought my mouth to his, locking our lips together.
He didn’t move. He didn’t blink. He didn’t say a thing.
He stood there as if taken by surprise and let me kiss him for a second or two.
And even though it was chaste, even though it only lasted but a mere moment, it filled me with joy, need, and desire.
An intoxicating combination that made my heart beat so fast it threatened to burst out of my chest.
When I let go, I came to the realization that my life would never be the same again. It had taken me a hot minute, but I could finally see it and accept it.
Because Cole wasn’t just a fling, or a date, or an obligation. He was so much more, whether he knew it or not.