Chapter 30 Samir #2
“Don’t do that on my account. I just… I needed to apologize,” he said and wiped his eyes.
“And I just realized I haven’t yet. I’m so sorry, Samir.
I didn’t mean to do that to you. I hated how I treated you, and you should know that’s not me.
I’ve never been like that. Which is why it was so scary that I acted like that.
I couldn’t control myself or my emotions. ”
I put my fingers to his lips and shushed him. First with my mouth, then with my tongue.
“Are you coming up?” I asked after a moment.
He licked his lip.
“If you want me.”
I smiled and pinched his cheek.
“Of course I do. But what about you? Ella? Don’t you need to go back?”
Cole’s chest rose and fell, and he stared at my lips before he said, “We’ve already had our dinner, and Ella’s gone to bed so…”
“We’ve got the night?”
He nodded.
I let out a deep breath, and my heart started racing again as I offered him my hand and pulled him upstairs.
By the time we’d climbed through the disused second floor shop space and climbed the second flight of stairs to my apartment, the girls were nowhere to be seen.
I didn’t know how they’d pulled their disappearing act, but I was grateful for it because it meant Cole and I were alone, here, in the middle of Mayberry Holm, with no secrets, no walls, and no fear.
Well, maybe a little bit of fear but weren’t the best things a little scary anyway?
“Hungry?” I asked, pointing at the table full of food too spicy for the cats to touch.
Except for Mr. Naughtington who kept licking the spicy leftover stew, the weirdo.
“Not for food, no,” Cole said so matter-of-factly I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Glad we’re on the same page again,” I said and took him by the hand, guiding us through my home and into my bedroom.
“Nice house,” he said, and I hummed.
“Shut up,” I said once we got to my bed, and I sat down, unzipping his coat.
“Shutting up.” Cole swallowed and took off his coat, closed the bedroom door, and walked back to me.
He nestled between my legs and pulled my head back to kiss me. He put his hands on either side of my face and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs, studying my features, my eyes, my lips.
I grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it over his head, and as I got busy with his jeans’ button, he took my sweater off.
A few moments later, we were both naked and hard. He pushed me down in my bed and made his way down to my cock.
He wrapped two fingers around my length, and I gasped when he put me into his mouth. I went back to that night in Boston, to everything we’d shared.
It had been a beautiful night until it wasn’t. But I kept thinking how scared he’d felt, how emotional and raw, and all I wanted to do was wrap him in my arms and never let go. Keep him there, safe, forever after.
He sucked me off, faster and harder, swallowed me whole as if he had something to prove, and I guess maybe he had. But I didn’t care.
I didn’t care if this didn’t work. I didn’t care if he got scared again. I’d keep him here, in my life, and I’d take care of him and watch over him until it stopped being scary.
“I’ll battle all your fears for you, one by one,” I told him.
Cole stopped and looked up at me. He blinked, and in an instant, he looked on the verge of tears again.
“Oh, baby. Don’t… It’s okay.” I pulled him back up to me, back into my lips and kissed him over and over again until the tears dried out and his cock throbbed against mine.
I turned us around so I could be on top and then got to work.
I licked his neck, his clavicle, I flicked my tongue over his nipples.
They went from soft and puffy to hard under my watch, under my control.
I bit one of them gently and looked at his response; felt it under me.
I bit harder. Cole moaned, and I felt it all the way to my core.
I played with his nipples a while longer before I put us both out of our misery and got down to the entrée.
He was throbbing for me. Precum slicked his crown, and I took a taste with the tip of my tongue. I watched as goosebumps covered his thighs and legs.
“Are you okay?” I asked him, and he nodded before I closed my lips around his glans and sucked.
His precum made him taste slightly salty but also sweet, and I wanted more. Needed more. I sucked and sucked, desperate to savor more of him.
“Oh, Samir,” he let out in a soft, painful tone that only made me take more of him in my mouth.
I stroked him with both my fingers and my lips, licked him, and sucked him any way I could. I might not have done it before but judging by the way Cole looked at me and held onto my bedsheets, it must have felt as good as I imagined it.
I went on and on. I wanted him to come undone for me. To make him give me his all. To taste him again.
But Cole had other plans.
He pulled me back up to him and looked at me, deep into my soul with his bright gray eyes, and smiled.
It was as if we were seeing each other for the first time. Seeing each other just as we were, no holds barred. No lies. No secrets. Just us.
“I want you, Samir. It’s scary how much I want you, but I do.”
“I want you too,” I told him, and we kissed again.
“I’m sorry I ran out on you. I… I want you, this, and to find out how far we can go.”
I stared at him and felt my heart skip a beat.
“You’re everything I could have ever dreamed of and more, Cole. I want you too. I want to be with you. I’ve wanted you since the moment I met you.”
Cole smiled.
“I did too. I think… I didn’t realize it then, but I wanted you too.”
He pulled me down to him and kissed me. We ground against each other and groaned into each other’s mouth before Cole pulled away and whispered in my ear.
“God, I hope you’ve got lube.”
I chuckled with a nod. I took it out of my bedside drawer, and Cole wasted no moment. He spread his legs and slipped his slick fingers into his hole, prepping himself for me.
I watched him and held my breath. I watched him, unable to believe he was with me and that someone so beautiful could ever want me, but for some reason, he did.
“Need you. Now,” he begged, and I shook off the intrusive thoughts long enough to slide myself inside him and watch his eyes flicker with pain and pleasure.
He was so tight and so warm despite the coolness of the lube, and it took all my power not to come right there and then.
So I focused on his eyes, and he wrapped his legs around my hips, driving me deeper into him while holding me close.
I got lost in his gaze, in the heat of his body, in the connection between us and how good he made me feel, but the thoughts came back.
“Are you okay?” It was only when he spoke I realized I’d gotten distracted by the intrusive thoughts again.
I sighed.
“I’m just wondering…”
“Wondering what?” he asked and cupped my face with his hands.
“Wondering what… what does a gorgeous man like you see in me?”
Cole took pause and tilted his head to the side.
“Samir? What are you talking about? You’re fucking beautiful. And sexy—”
“I’m not. I’m old and—”
“Oh, shut up. You’re not old. You’re mature.
And I love that. You know who you are and what you want even if you were late to come out.
You’re hot, and that beard drives me insane.
So do your eyes. So does your kindness and your affection.
The way you look after those wounded souls you rescue or how excited you get to help a reader discover a new favorite book.
You’re beautiful, Samir, and I don’t ever want you to think otherwise, okay? ”
He held me in his hands and waited. He waited until I nodded in approval, and then he kissed me, wrapped his legs around me, and bucked his hips.
He reminded me what we were doing and why, and I focused not on my insecurities but him and this thing between us.
So I kissed him and fucked him and hugged him and made love to him. I plunged myself inside him over and over again until we were both out of breath and desperate.
It was then and only then that I let go of him long enough to look into his eyes, deep into his soul, and allow myself the release.
I filled him with my load, biting into his lower lip, and he moaned and trembled under me, shooting his own load between us, holding onto me for dear life and watching me.
I watched him too. I stared at him through the haziness in my vision and the room that wouldn’t stop spinning. I watched and waited for him to change, to turn his back to me, to push me away.
He didn’t.
He simply looked at me and smiled.
I smiled back. And kissed him. And made love to him all night long.
And even though I waited for him to get scared and run again, he didn’t, which meant he’d been telling the truth earlier, if there was ever any doubt.
He really did want me. And I wanted him too. I couldn’t imagine ever not wanting him.
“I’m in love with you, Cole Jackson Williams. I’m so in love with you it’s not even funny anymore.”
Cole traced my lips with his fingers.
“I’m in love with you too, Samir Muse Ali,” he whispered, and I believed him despite the volume of his confession.
Because I could see it in his face, read it in his eyes, and feel it in his touch.
We were in love with each other. It didn’t mean we weren’t going to face difficulties or obstacles. It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to get scared again or that I wasn’t going to doubt why he’d want such an older man. But as long as we loved each other, we could face it all, come what may.