Chapter Five
I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.
—Oscar Wilde
If Mallory could bottle up the smell of a Christmas tree farm, she would. And maybe she’d sell it and not have to worry about affording Nan’s healthcare or selling off the theater.
“Hey, you,” Hollis said as he approached the gate to Popadine’s Tree Farm.
Mallory felt her insides light up like the festive bulbs around the business’s welcome sign. “Do I look tree-farm-ready?” She laughed lightly, angling her body from side to side. Proper attire was jeans, boots, and flannel, preferably in a bright red or green check print.
Hollis dutifully ran his gaze from her face to her boots. “You’re the poster child for a tree farm customer.”
Mallory glanced around as she walked beside Hollis. She’d worked a nursing shift early this morning at six until early afternoon. Then she’d gone home, taken a quick shower, and changed. “I hope all the good trees haven’t been taken.”
“Good ones?” Hollis slid her a look. “Don’t let the trees hear you say that. You might hurt their feelings.”
“Oh.” She lowered her voice. “I’m sorry.”
He started chuckling. “I’m joking.”
“Oh.” She laughed nervously. “Well, I’ve heard some say that the trees respond to us.”
“They do,” Hollis confirmed. “I convinced Pop when I first started helping out here on the farm. We began playing cheerful holiday music, and I swear the trees were brighter and more vibrant.”
“That’s fascinating.”
“Yeah?”
“Mm-hm. I like to play calm, soothing music for my pediatric patients on my floor at the hospital. Music is a powerful tool.”
“When I’m able to take more foster dogs, I’m going to use music to regulate their nervous systems.”
“Wow. I love that,” Mallory said, genuinely interested as they approached rows and rows of trees. She bounced softly on the balls of her feet. Her excitement turned to a fluttery, dancing feeling in her chest. “There’s something about a tree farm that still makes me feel like a little girl.”
“That’s a nice change. All I’ve seen of Mallory Blue lately is the grown-up version with too much responsibility on her shoulders. I like this side of you. Childlike Mallory is nice.” He stepped closer and nudged her gently with his shoulder. “It’s good to see you smiling and laughing.”
They were walking casually down the lines of trees, looking from side to side and inspecting each one as they chatted.
“In general, being at a hospital with sick or injured patients doesn’t lend itself to smiling and laughing.
Neither does watching my grandmother struggle with dementia.
” The childlike feeling slowly faded as her day-to-day worries returned to the forefront of her mind.
So much for trying not to think about all the things on her plate and having one carefree hour.
Her chest suddenly felt tight. “I don’t want to be the person in the room who is all work and no play.
I want to be the laughing, smiling Mallory of old. I do.”
“Hey.” He laid a hand on her shoulder. “I’m not criticizing you. I’m looking out for you.”
“Do I strike you as a woman who needs looking after?” She felt her hackles rising, which was more about herself than Hollis, and she knew it. She prided herself on being self-sufficient, and over the last month, she was hanging on by a thread. Could he see that?
Her gaze dropped to his hand on her shoulder, and he immediately drew it back. “You remind me of your grandmother. No one could ever accuse her of being anything less than self-sufficient. But she allowed me to have an ego boost every now and then by letting me offer up a helping hand.”
“Nan is good that way. She did that for me too.” Mallory hated talking about Nan in the past tense. Nan was still alive, for goodness’ sake. She wasn’t as present as she once was though, and it stung like the cold on Mallory’s cheeks right now.
Taking another step forward, Mallory’s gaze caught on one of the trees. “That’s the one!” she said, practically jumping up and down.
Hollis turned to observe the tree that had caught her eye. “Really?”
Mallory could tell by his tone that he didn’t agree. “You don’t think it’s amazing?”
His expression told her he didn’t. “If you’re just tired, I can carry you through this farm. I don’t mind.” His tone was teasing.
“No, I’m serious. Look at this tree.” She flung one arm forward, gesturing at the beautiful blue fir. “It’s perfect.” It was almost as if the tree had an aura around it, making it glow without a single string of lights. “This is the tree. I love it.”
Hollis gave his head a subtle shake. “I’ve been working this farm with Pop for the past decade. It never ceases to amaze me what folks end up picking. A tree says a lot about a person’s personality.”
Mallory narrowed her eyes. “Okay. What does this tree say about me?”
Hollis studied her. “You’re simple, yet classy. You don’t need the biggest tree or the one with the deepest or brightest color. Imperfection is actually what you find endearing…”
Mallory felt exposed as she listened.
“That means there’s hope for a guy like me,” he said, his words coming out jokingly.
“Hope for what?”
He looked away and didn’t answer the question. “Anyway, doesn’t matter what I think. All that matters is that you like this tree.” Bending, he reached into his pocket, grabbed a tag, and used a zip tie to attach it to the tree’s base. “There we go. I’ll wrap it up and deliver it to Memory Oaks.”
“Now?” Mallory had thought he would need to take his time to pack it up and deliver it.
“No time like the present, right?” He nodded his head in the direction of the parking area. “Want to come along?”
Mallory usually braced herself to see Nan these days.
There was a process for getting into the right headspace for greeting her grandmother, who might, or might not, remember her.
“Um…” She looked up at Hollis, into his hopeful brown eyes.
He was a hard man to say no to. “Sure. I think I should be there when the tree arrives, just in case Nan gets upset. She’s not a fan of change these days. ”
“These days?” Hollis led her toward their vehicles. “Nan has always followed a calendar. Some things never change.” He glanced over. “There’s comfort to be found in that.”
She hugged her arms around herself as a cold breeze blew through.
“You go ahead and get in your car. I need to grab the utility vehicle to get the tree and drive it back up. Then I’ll wrap it, toss it on the truck’s bed, and we can head over to Memory Oaks.”
“Since I have my car, I think I’ll just go ahead of you and visit with Nan first. You can let me know when you get there.”
“Sure. Good plan.” He gave her a wink, which was something he’d do for anyone. She’d seen him wink at others. Just like Pop did. Hollis had adopted the gesture from the man he looked up to, which Mallory found adorable.
Heading to her car, she got in out of the cold and turned on the heater, soaking it in for a moment. Then she set off for Memory Oaks. A few miles later, the familiar building loomed ahead, its brick adorned with festive wreaths.
Francis, the ever-present receptionist, offered a small wave as Mallory walked inside the building. “Mallory! I wasn’t expecting you today.”
Mallory shrugged. “I’ve had early shifts at the hospital lately. I’m not a fan of waking before the crack of dawn, but it’s nice getting out early enough to spend my afternoons doing fun things. Like going to Pop’s Tree Farm and picking out a tree for Nan’s room.”
Francis’s cheerful expression faltered a touch. Mallory knew that Hollis had had to pull some big strings to get permission for the tree to begin with.
“My grandmother loves a Christmas tree, and I have some special ornaments I want to hang up for her. I’m hoping maybe they’ll refresh her memories. Hollis is packing the tree up now and then bringing it over.”
Francis was grimacing now. Mallory hoped that Francis wasn’t about to go back on her agreement to allow this to happen. “Oh. Well, there’s a small issue. I’m afraid today might not be the best time to put up the tree.”
“Why is that?” Mallory asked, concern mounting.
Francis held out her hands. “Don’t worry too much. Nan is safe and comfortable. She’s just having a bit of a rough day. All this talk of next week’s holiday dance is throwing her for a whirl.”
“The dance. Right.” Mallory remembered Hollis asking her about it last night. He’d acted strange. He hadn’t asked her to attend with him, but he’d been nervous all the same. She could see it in his eyes.
“You can certainly try to put up the tree in your grandmother’s room today though,” Francis offered.
Mallory knew better than most that the “bad days” for Nan were difficult to turn around.
She hesitated as she weighed what was the right thing to do.
She was so eager to get Nan’s Memory Tree started, hoping it would help Nan remember something.
“Well, I have some time to visit with my grandma before Hollis gets here. I’ll see if I can get her in the Christmas spirit. ”
“That sounds like a good plan,” Francis said. “You visit with Nan and see if you can’t work your magic.”
Magic? That was laughable. Mallory wasn’t one of Nan’s favorite people these days, which weighed heavily on her. In the past, Mallory could go to Nan whenever she needed, even if it was in the middle of the night. Nan’s door and heart were always open.
Making her way to Nan’s room, Mallory paused outside her door and took a deep breath to compose herself before knocking gently and stepping in. “Nan? It’s Mallory. Can I… visit with you?”
The room was dimly lit with only a small bedside lamp casting a soft glow. Nan was lying in bed with a thin blanket pulled over her. She turned her head to look at Mallory, her eyes cloudy with confusion.
“Mallory?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly.
“Hi, Nan. It’s me. I came to visit.”