Chapter 15
Long ago, Vanessa had learned how to handle pain and where to take her deepest questions. When she was a little girl, she
watched her parents bring out the Bible often. And she’d seen from their example that the best way to stay close to God was
to read it on her own time as well.
As a kid she used to think reading the Bible was a to-do item, something a person was supposed to do to keep in the Lord’s
good graces. But that wasn’t how Vanessa saw reading the Bible now. Before she and Alan married, Vanessa had come to think
of the Bible as God’s love letter. Personally written for her. The first chapter of John declared that “in the beginning was
the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
And so it was.
After that, when she sat down and opened the covers of this book, she no longer thought of it as a task or a textbook. Reading
the verses in the Bible meant having a meeting with God. He was truly alive and active in the pages of Scripture.
That morning, the day of the military dance, with Sadie still asleep down the hall, Vanessa found her Bible and settled in on the sofa.
She turned to Philippians chapter 4 and read the verses she had recited to Sadie the night before.
The section held more than Vanessa had quoted, more than she remembered.
And now she wanted to spend time here.
She started at the fourth verse. “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” Vanessa closed her eyes. He was near. He absolutely was.
Once more she found her spot and kept reading. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests
to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
The words washed over her and filled her very being with peace. She had read somewhere that it was impossible to be thankful
and anxious at the same time. And sure enough, here was that very idea written in the Bible so long ago. God’s promise to
those who were worried or troubled. Rejoice . . . be thankful . . . take every problem to the Lord. And the peace of God that
knew no bounds would guard her heart and mind in Jesus.
It was a promise.
She drew a deep breath. Before she could read further, she heard Sadie coming down the hallway. When she stepped into view,
Vanessa smiled at her. “Hi.”
Sadie held up her little children’s Bible. “I found this on my bed.”
“Yes.” Vanessa smiled. “I was looking through the box from under the TV.” She nodded to the container, still in the corner.
“I found it in there.”
Sadie came closer and took the spot next to Vanessa. For a moment she stared at the little book. “I sure loved this.”
“You did.” Vanessa studied her daughter.
“Back then I couldn’t wait to be a teacher.” Sadie set the book down on the arm of the sofa. “But now . . . I love the idea
of taking pictures. Finding beauty in everything around me. People . . . pets . . . places. All of it.”
Vanessa could see Sadie’s joy. “I need to get you a toy camera for Christmas.” They both laughed. “Your old Bible. It was
just a night to remember. That’s all.”
“I’m so glad Hudson’s okay.” Sadie pressed her shoulder into the sofa and faced Vanessa. “He texted me.”
Sadie put her hand on Vanessa’s Bible. “You know what I miss?”
“What do you miss?”
“Waking up and seeing you reading your Bible. Early in the morning.” Sadie flipped through the pages and then looked back
at Vanessa. “I love that.”
“The words get me through life. They always have.”
For a minute neither of them said anything. But Sadie clearly had something on her mind. She met Vanessa’s eyes. “Can we talk
about the other day, when I cut you off? We haven’t had a lot of time, but . . . tell me what you were thinking that night.
Would you, please?”
There would never be a better time than now to tell Sadie the story. Every detail. “It goes back a bit.”
“Okay.” Sadie looked ready to listen. She settled into the sofa cushion once more.
“It started this past summer after I dropped you off for orientation. I stopped at Millers’ Antiques in Marietta.”
“I remember that. You looked for your ring.”
“Right. But I ended up finding something else. Someone.” Vanessa gave a slight shrug. “I met the owner’s son. Ben Miller.
He lost his wife to an illness eight years ago, and . . . well, we had a lot in common and we started a friendship.”
“Since July?” Sadie sat up straighter. She didn’t sound angry, just surprised.
“Yes.” Vanessa wasn’t keeping anything from Sadie now. Not anymore. “We would talk and text. Once in a while we’d FaceTime.
And when I came to visit you, I’d stop and have lunch with Ben on the way home. Or we’d look at other antique stores in Marietta.”
Sadie couldn’t have looked more surprised if Vanessa had said they were moving to Mars. “And you never told me?”
“You were busy, honey. Getting used to college, writing papers. Memorizing textbooks.” Vanessa sighed. “It seemed like something
I should tell you in person. And then I was never sure if he and I were just a passing fancy. Nothing more than friends. I
didn’t want to upset you.”
Remorse seemed to come over Sadie. “Mom. You’re still my best friend. I’m never too busy for you.” She took Vanessa’s hand.
“I need you.”
Her words were like oxygen to Vanessa. “Thank you.”
“There’s more, right?”
Vanessa was going to tell her, but Sadie looked like she knew something. “Why do you ask?”
“I saw the two of you. Shopping the other day.” Sadie looked guilty for not telling her sooner. “You were holding hands.”
The blow hit hard. Vanessa hung her head for a few seconds, and then she looked at Sadie again. “You were supposed to be at the mall.”
“The girls and I switched plans.” Sadie sighed. “At first I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. And then . . . I remembered.
You tried to talk to me about him, but I shut you down.”
“This is all new.” Vanessa blinked back tears. “I wanted to tell you way before this. I did.”
“It’s okay, Mom. Let’s just start from here.” Sadie wasn’t angry, Vanessa could see that in her daughter’s eyes. She was only
ready to hear the rest of the story.
They moved into the kitchen and made coffee. Then they sat down and Vanessa continued. She told Sadie how she and Ben had
spent the past week looking for antiques for his store and picking up donations for the military dance. “We were together
every day.”
“Wow . . . so . . . you must really like each other.”
“I thought that.” How could she explain this part to Sadie when she didn’t understand it herself? “At first we were just friends,
and I was trying to find a way to tell you that.” She took a sip of her coffee. “We had so much fun, and then . . . well,
it felt like maybe we were falling for each other. If I couldn’t tell you about us being friends, how was I supposed to tell
you that?”
“I didn’t make it any easier.” Sadie winced. “Sorry about that.”
“Now I’m sort of glad I waited.” Vanessa felt the emotion in her voice. “Last night Ben and I had our first date.”
“First date?” Sadie raised her brow, clearly trying to find her enthusiasm. “And . . . ?”
“I thought after that, Ben and I would be more than friends and I’d tell you that this morning. He was supposed to go to the dance with me tonight.”
The confusion on Sadie’s face left Vanessa no choice but to finish the story.
She explained how in the middle of dessert Ben suddenly had to leave. “I think I scared him. Like maybe it was all too real
and too serious.” Vanessa looked at her left hand. “I’m still wearing my wedding ring after all.” She shook her head. “I can’t
think of any other reason.”
Sadie looked genuinely sad for Vanessa. “Mom . . . my decision not to be a teacher doesn’t mean I love Dad any less. You know
that, right?”
“Of course.” Vanessa looked deep into her daughter’s eyes. “He would be so proud of you, honey. No matter what.”
“And he’s proud of you, too.” She paused, taking her time. “Dad’s been gone four years. After the other night, I gave this
whole thing a lot of thought. The truth is, Mom, if you find someone to love, I won’t be upset. When I saw you and Ben the
other day, of course I was confused and shocked. But one thing was very obvious.”
Vanessa brushed a tear off her cheek. Her daughter was being so gracious, so kind.
Sadie smiled. “You were so happy, Mom. And I want you to be happy.” She stood and Vanessa did the same thing. They hugged
for a long while, and then they both sat back down. “Maybe it isn’t Ben. But Dad wouldn’t have wanted you alone. And I don’t
want that either.”
“Forgive me?” Vanessa blinked away fresh tears. “I’m so sorry for not telling you.”
“It’s behind us.” Sadie smiled through tears of her own. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.”
Just then Sadie’s phone buzzed. She shot out of her chair, grabbed it from the kitchen counter, and checked it. “It’s Hudson.”
Sadie’s face lit up. She read the message and shot Vanessa a surprised look. “He thinks it’s snowing outside. He said to step
outside and look.”
“It is supposed to snow tonight.” A happy suspicion came over Vanessa. She played along. “I heard about the snow this morning
from Maria and Leigh.”
With a full heart Vanessa stood and followed Sadie to the front door. A text like that from a soldier could only mean one
thing. Vanessa stayed back a few feet and watched the next few minutes play out.
The days had been colder than Sadie could remember, but she hadn’t heard anything about snow. Not until her mom confirmed
the fact. She opened the door expecting to see flurries, but what she saw instead nearly dropped her to the cold front porch.
Standing there in his army Ranger uniform was Hudson. Right in front of her. “You’re here!” Sadie ran to him and jumped in
his arms. “I can’t believe it!”