16. Juno
16
Juno
Alex gently squeezed Lena's shoulder. "It's fine, Lena-bug." Then he swallowed nervously. "Juno, this is Lena. Lena, this is my friend Juno. She owns the coffee shop across the street."
"The one with the chocolate milkshakes?"
"The very same," Alex said, his eyes never leaving Juno's face. "Lena's mom had an emergency, so Lena's hanging out with me tonight."
Juno's mind raced. Alex had a daughter. A daughter he'd never mentioned. Not to anyone, as far as Juno knew, and she'd never seen Alex with Lena, or even the woman who'd just driven off in her fancy sports car—Melissa, was it?—in all the years she'd been back in town. But this child certainly knew him. His favorite milkshake at Juno's? And Melissa clearly had no reservations about leaving Lena with him.
Juno shook her head, trying to realign the pieces of a suddenly complicated puzzle in a way that made sense. Alex had a daughter who looked to be about eight years old, which meant she'd been born right around the time Juno returned to Autumn Lake.
Turning to Lena, she said, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss Lena." Her tone was overly bright, and she could hear herself talking too loud, but she couldn't seem to tone it down. "I hope your daddy here is planning on bringing you with him to my place tonight,' she found herself saying, pointing up to her apartment windows. She emphasized the word daddy —if he wasn't going to say the word, she would. "I invited him to dinner, and there's plenty of room at my table for three."
Alex looked a bit shell-shocked. "Uh.. yeah. But are you sure?"
"Of course," Juno said, forcing a smile. She checked her watch. Almost seven, and she hadn't prepared anything. "Listen, it's later than I'd planned. Why don't you two head over to the coffee shop while I get ready. You order anything you want and bring it up with you at seven. Anything you want. I'll call in and let Trevor know. He'll take good care of you." She needed a moment alone to process this revelation.
"Sounds like a plan," Alex said, relief evident in his voice. "We'll be up in a few minutes."
Twenty minutes later, Juno opened her door to find Alex and Lena, arms laden with a large takeout box from the coffee shop. She'd texted Trevor to let them know they were coming.
"Trevor gave us dessert, too," Alex said, as they stepped inside.
"I got a brownie," Lena announced, her eyes taking in the apartment. "I like your yellow walls."
"Thank you," Juno said, finding her manners despite the turmoil inside. "Make yourselves at home. I'll get some plates and drinks."
In the kitchen, she took a deep breath, hands braced against the counter.
A daughter.
She'd spent the last twenty minutes trying to sort it all out, but in the end, there was only one scenario that made any sense.
A summer fling that had resulted in a child.
A child who had been on this earth for almost a decade, if Juno was right about her age.
A beautiful, innocent child who deserved better than a father who kept her existence secret.
When she returned to the living room with plates and silverware, Lena was examining the framed photos on Juno's bookshelf.
"Is this your mom?" she asked, pointing to a snapshot of Juno's mother on her wedding day. It was the only picture of her that she had.
"It is," Juno said, setting the plates on the coffee table.
"She's pretty, like you." Lena smiled. "My mommy's pretty too. She used to be a model before she had me."
Juno's eyes flicked to Alex, who was arranging the takeout containers on the table. "Your dad never told me about your mother." The moment the words were out, Juno wished she could take them back. She didn't mind being direct, but using Lena to take passive-aggressive jabs at Alex was beneath her.
Alex winced slightly, but Lena didn't seem to notice. "That's because nobody knows I'm his daughter except Mommy and me." She said it matter-of-factly, as if revealing a mildly interesting bit of trivia rather than a bombshell. "It's our secret, but I think it's a dumb thing to be a secret, don't you, Miss Juno?"
"Lena," Alex began, his tone cautious.
"What?" the girl continued, returning to the coffee table. "Mommy says it's complicated, and I know what complicated means. It means it's hard to understand. But I don't think it's hard to understand. You're my dad. What's so complicated about that?"
Out of the mouths of babes. Juno felt a surge of respect for the child's directness, but it was clear that Alex was trying to hold his head above water right now. Oh, they'd be hashing this one out, that was for sure, but noting the pallor of his face, she took pity on him.
"Let's eat while everything's still warm," she suggested, opening the box and pulling out a grilled cheese sandwich meal for Lena, and two meatball and roasted red pepper sandwiches for her and Alex.
Over dinner, Juno found herself charmed by Lena, despite her lingering anger at Alex. She was bright, articulate, and had her father's easy smile. She talked about her favorite books, her favorite places on the lake, and how she was learning to swim.
"Daddy promised to teach me to fish while I'm here," she said through a bite of sandwich. "He says the best fishing is early in the morning when the lake is still."
"Your dad knows this lake well," Juno agreed. "He's lived here his whole life."
"I wish I could live here too," Lena sighed. "Mommy and me move all the time."
The child's words resonated so personally with Juno, and her heart ached for her. What was wrong with Alex that he would deny Lena the life she so longed for. Even if it was just for the summer, to know she always had a place to come to, a place she could depend on to be there waiting for her. People she could depend on to be there waiting for her.
After dinner, Juno put on a movie for Lena while she and Alex cleared the dishes. In the kitchen, with the sound of the film providing cover, she finally confronted him.
"Why on earth are you keeping that remarkable child a secret, Alex?" she asked, her voice low but intense. "And I don't mean just a secret from me. From everyone. Do your parents know about her?"
Alex carried a stack of plates from the table. "They don't," he admitted. "I actually planned on telling you about her tonight."
"Really?" Did she believe him? Did it matter? "Well, that's all fine and dandy but it doesn't change the fact that she thinks she's supposed to be a secret. Your own daughter, Alex." She shook her head in disbelief. "Are you embarrassed by her?"
"What? No! Of course, I'm not embarrassed of her. She's amazing" He glanced over at Lena who was curled under a fuzzy blanket at one end of the sofa he'd slept on only the night before. The adoration on his face was unmistakable, Juno saw.
"Then why does nobody in town know about her? Why the secrecy?" Juno kept her voice down with effort. "What kind of father doesn't acknowledge his own child?"
Alex's jaw tightened. "Melissa wanted—"
"You're blaming Melissa for your decision to not tell anyone you have a daughter?" Her tone had turned scathing now. She snatched the dishes out of his hands and dunked them into the sink she'd just he'd just filled with hot, soapy water.
"You don't understand, Juno. You don't know what this has been like—"
She cut him off again. "Oh, I know good and well what it feels like to have a father who doesn't give a flying flip about you," she shot back. "I know exactly what it feels like to live a secret life, to feel like an inconvenience. Is that how you see her? Is she an inconvenience for your Peter Pan lifestyle?"
"That's enough." His voice was hard. "You don't get to judge me when you don't know the first thing about my relationship with Lena."
"I know you haven't been a real father to her. Standing on the sidelines while she 'moves around' with her mother? Not even telling your parents and friends you have a child?"
"I only learned about Lena three years ago," Alex hissed, his hands gripping the edge of the sink. "When I got a bill from Melissa insisting that if I wanted to meet my child, I'd need to come up with the thousands in back child support I didn't have. I had to prove to her that I was fit enough to be in Lena's life."
Juno stepped back, momentarily silenced. Was that even legal? Or was he telling her a one-sided story to make her feel sorry for him?
"That's when I quit drinking." The anger seemed to drain from his voice. "I had to save every penny to pay for a child I'd never met."
"Oh, so now it's Lena's fault you had to give up your partying?" The words were out before she could stop them, but, seriously? To pay for a child? "You poor baby."
"Are you being deliberately obtuse?" Alex ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I'm trying to explain—"
"You're trying to justify being a deadbeat dad," Juno cut in.
"Why do you keep cutting me off?" he demanded, crossing his arms. "You ask me a question, and then you don't let me answer."
She jabbed him in the chest, leaving a wet spot on his shirt. "Why are you defending your behavior?"
"Why are you guys fighting?"
They both turned to find Lena standing near the kitchen table, her eyes wide with concern. "Are you fighting about me? Everyone always fights about me."
The wounded look on the little girl's face cut through Juno's anger like a knife. "Oh, sweetie," she said quickly. "We're talking about something we disagree on. I'm sorry if if we worried you."
"It sounded like you were fighting about me," Lena insisted, her lower lip trembling slightly.
Alex moved to his daughter's side, kneeling awkwardly with his booted foot extended. "It's okay, Lena-Bug. You don't need to worry. Juno and I just have some things to work out."
Lena looked unconvinced but nodded. "The movie stopped and I heard you guys."
Juno glanced over at the television and saw that the show had been paused. Lena was obviously a perceptive child. She wondered what other arguments she'd overheard in her short little life.
Alex checked his watch, then turned his wrist so Lena could see the face of the analog timepiece, too. "It's getting late, Lena-Bug. What time does it say?"
Lena studied it for a few seconds, her mouth working as she counted out the minutes. "Eight forty-five," she finally said, a mix of pride and disappointment in her voice. "Does that mean we have to go now?"
Alex nodded. "Your mom wanted you home around nine. It's going to take us about twenty minutes to drive there, so we're going to be a little late, even if we ran out the door right now – and that's not going to happen with this bum leg of mine." He narrowed his eyes at her and squeezed her bicep. "Unless you can carry me…."
That brought a smile to Lena's face. "Daddy, you're being silly. I can't carry you. You're supposed to carry me."
"Right, right," he said, nodding sagely. "I forgot which way that worked. Anyway, even if we sprouted wings and could fly down the stairs right now, we still wouldn't make it all the way around the lake in fifteen minutes. So we better get going. It's time."
"Do we have to?" Lena looked between them. "I like it here. I wish I could stay in Autumn Lake forever." She sighed, the sound too world-weary for someone so young. "Mom said we have to move again so we can live with her boyfriend."
The echo of Juno's own childhood in those words made her heart ache. The constant moving, never having roots, always at the mercy of an adult's whims. Lena was obviously much more privileged than Juno had been at her age, but the longing in her voice, the obvious craving for a place to call home, struck such a nerve inside her.
"Charlie?" Alex asked, his tone neutral. Juno watched his expression, but saw no signs of jealousy, only concern for Lena.
"No," sighed Lena. "It's Daniel now. She really likes him and he has a big house on an island, and there's a pool there," she added, sounding very much like she was repeating something she'd been told.
"I haven't met Daniel," Alex said. "Is he nice to you?"
Lena shrugged one shoulder. "I don't know."
Alex stood, his expression grim. Apparently, this was all news to him, too. "Why don't you get your things together, okay? Your backpack is on the floor by the couch. I'll be there to help you in just a second."
When the girl drifted reluctantly away from them, he turned to Juno. "I'm sorry about how this all went down. I really did intend to talk to you about Lena over dinner, Juno. I'm in over my head, and I could use… some advice. Support. Help," he added a little louder. "Can I come back? Will you still be awake around ten-thirty?"
Juno hesitated, still reeling from everything she'd learned. Part of her wanted to say no, to process all this alone. But Lena was watching them from the doorway, and Juno couldn't bring herself to reject Alex in front of his daughter.
"Okay," she agreed finally. "I'll be here."
After they left, Juno sank onto her sofa, emotionally drained. There was clearly more to this story than she'd assumed, but was she ready to hear it? Could she set aside her personal feelings, which were decidedly opinionated, to be a friend to Alex in his time of need?
"Yes," she said aloud. "You can do this. You're strong. You're capable. People depend on you, Juniper Bernice Thomas, because you're dependable. Be his friend first. That's how it should be anyway."
The self-talk helped, and while she put her little apartment to right for the night, she brewed herself a cup of cinnamon tea, then settled into the corner where Lena had been, and switched the station to something more suitable for someone her age.
When ten-thirty turned to eleven, then eleven-thirty, and there was still no word from Alex, Juno turned off the television, threw off the cozy blanket, and marched into her bathroom to ready herself for bed.
"You're such a fool," she said to her reflection in the mirror above the bathroom sink. "When will you ever learn?"