Chapter 22
Vico
How tiny she is. So delicate and fragile. And how she smells! I absorb the scent, unable to get enough of it. She lets out a squeak.
I hold her gently, supporting her little head so she doesn't hurt herself during her little cries. "You're quite active, little lady," I say.
"That must run in the family," Hanna says.
My gaze lands on her face. A mixture of longing and unease is evident in her expression. And suddenly, I realize what I'm doing here.
In my arms lies a baby. And I haven't just admired her, but I've genuinely cherished our connection. She's an Olivetta, just like me. We are family.
Panic surges within me. Why am I thinking this way? Where are these feelings coming from?
As my chest tightens rapidly, Pietro enters the room, whistling a melody. "Well, have the little ones behaved themselves?"
I quickly rise from my seat and place his daughter back in his hands. "They were exemplary," I manage to say with effort. "But now, I must… go away."
Urgently so. My gaze flicks to Hanna, who stares at me with incomprehension. I can just make out how her expression hardens before I turn away and rush out of the room. Of course, she judges me for valuing my freedom over family. But I have no choice. I race through the corridor, push open the door to the outside, and take a deep breath.
Unchanged, I feel as if a giant snake has me in its grip. What is wrong with me? First, I can't tear myself away from Hanna, and now I lose myself in the sight of a baby.
I'm losing my mind.
Yes, that must be it.
I'm going crazy.
It's time to pull the emergency brake. So I fish my phone out of my pocket and message my coach that I urgently need confirmation from the talent scout for sponsorship. I need something to hold on to. Too often in the past few days, I've forgotten what matters most in my life. I was distracted, but a professional career as a cliff diver remains my greatest dream.
Next, I dial Adriano's number. "Feel like grabbing a beer?" I ask him directly when he answers.
His response is a warm laugh. "Have you looked at the time?"
Right. It's only nine o'clock. "Then how about breakfast at Caffè delle Arti?"
"Sure thing. I'll just start work later today," he says with an amused tone.
He's putting his job on the back burner. Even though we haven't seen each other in years, he's still the same old Adriano. "I'm looking forward to it."
We say our goodbyes, and I start walking. It's about a fifteen-minute walk to the café, and when I arrive, Adriano is already waiting for me. A pair of sunglasses casually rests in his short hair, and the first three buttons of his white shirt are undone.
"It feels so good to see you again," I say, giving him a brief hug as a greeting.
We sit at the bistro table outside the café and order espressos and cornetti. Even before the cups are placed on the brightly painted table, Adriano leans over to me. "So tell me, how's the wild life of freedom?"
That's the perfect topic. "There's a competition in Bari in mid-April. My coach thinks I have a chance." Well, after not returning to training as planned, he was a bit less enthusiastic. But there are still six weeks until then. Hanna has been here for almost two weeks; surely, she'll have everything sorted out soon. And once she leaves, I'll be free again.
Hopefully.
"You're positively brimming with enthusiasm," Adriano says in a sarcastic tone.
I quickly turn up the corners of my mouth. "No, it's great. It's just that being stuck here is a problem." And not just because I can't train.
His expression turns serious. "You have to be the rock in the storm here," he says sympathetically.
I wave it off. "That's not a problem."
He looks at me searchingly. But before he can say anything, our breakfast is served.
I take a sip of coffee and search desperately for another topic of conversation. "And what about you? When will I hear one of your songs on the radio?"
Laughing amusedly, he tears off a piece of his cornetto. "Oh, that. That's ancient history."
"You're not playing anymore?" I place the coffee cup down incredulously. This can't be serious. "Music was your big dream. What happened?"
"Life happened." With a happy expression, he pops the sweet pastry into his mouth. Then he raises his index finger and rummages in his wallet with the other hand. He opens it and places it on the table in front of me. "This is Paola," he says, tapping on the photo of the woman with the bright smile, held in his arms.
I can't help but smile amusedly. "You have a picture of you and your sweetheart in your wallet? I simply can't believe it."
Undeterred, he opens the next compartment of his wallet. The snapshot of a little boy catches my eye. "And this is Tommaso."
No! "You have a family?" slips out of me in shock, even before I can gather my thoughts clearly. Adriano, the wild one. Invincible rock star and fighter for freedom, has turned into a dutiful family man? Resistance builds within me. "Why?"
He shrugs nonchalantly. "People change."
Nonsense. He's been lulled into this. And now he's stuck with two people he loves too much. One day, he'll pay the price. The pain will consume him.
"Don't look at me like that, Vico." He shakes his head, putting away his wallet and crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I'm happy."
Yes. Now. But one day, it'll be over. That's a fact. No one can defy death! "I… I'm just surprised, that's all," I manage to say.
For a moment that lasts far too long, he fixes his gaze on me. "What happened to your mother was terrible. I understand that you…"
"Everything's fine," I hurriedly interrupt. "That's not what this is about."
He doesn't release me from his gaze. "Oh, no? Then what is it about?"
"About you, of course. You wanted to fill the biggest concert halls in Europe. You dreamed of signing autographs, composing songs late into the night, and living an extraordinary life." And now, he's sitting across from me. The decent family man. He's probably taken on some boring job and dutifully mows the lawn every weekend.
The accusatory tone of my words bounces off him as if he's wearing a protective suit. "No stage in the world could ever give me the feeling I have when I see my son laugh."
In my mind, the image of my niece I held in my arms less than an hour ago appears. Her tiny nose. Her round eyes. And again, there's that feeling I had during that moment, mixing with the memory of when my arms refused to let go of Hanna, even though my mind protested.
Dammit.
The meeting with Adriano was supposed to distract me. It was supposed to remind me that a life of freedom is the best life one can have. It was supposed to make these feelings vanish from me.
Now, he leans over the table to me and pats my hand. "Those who love can lose. But those who resist love have already lost."
I haven't lost anything. I have everything I ever wanted. Even my breakthrough as an athlete is closer than ever before. That's the only thing missing for my happiness.
Struggling to compose myself, I pull my hand back from under his. "Thanks, but I'll stick with cliff diving." As the words leave my mouth, I taste the bitterness they leave on my tongue.