Chapter 30
Vico
"Florian," terror is written all over Hanna's face.
She looks at me, and the phone keeps ringing incessantly. I don't know whether I should be relieved or not about this interruption because I was just about to answer Hanna's question.
What is love?
It's when you can't imagine spending the rest of your life without the other person. That's what I would have said. Yet it felt like I was giving her my heart even before speaking those words. I've protected it for so long, built walls around it, and done everything to ensure it's never breached. But now there's her, with her boundless passion for colors, shapes, and music, and the way she finds beauty even in the most run-down buildings.
With her finger hovering over the phone display, Hanna looks at me as if waiting for my approval. But I can't give it to her. At the same time, I can't ask her not to take the call.
The sparkle in her eyes disappears. "I have to answer it."
Yes, she probably has to.
I watch as she brings the phone to her ear and greets Florian. She listens for a moment, then smiles gently.
Nothing has ever felt so wrong as standing here, watching Hanna exchange affection with her partner. And there couldn't be a clearer sign that Pietro was off track. Moreover, after Hanna's story, I now know how strong the bond between the two of them is. Much stronger than I thought. And too strong for me to come between them.
Hanna alternates between listening attentively and speaking in a serious tone. She nods constantly, sometimes raising her hand reassuringly as if trying to calm Florian down.
I have no idea what they are talking about.
"Okay," she says now, followed by a few words that carry such a loving undertone that I can't bear it any longer. I turn away, take out my own phone from my pocket, and check my emails.
A message from my trainer Matteo catches my attention. You won't believe this , it reads.
Of course, I immediately open the message.
The talent scout has reached out. He wants to work with me. And he's even offering me a sponsorship!
I stare at my phone in disbelief, then read the message again. And again. It takes me a while to realize what this means.
My dream of a career as a cliff diver can actually come true!
I can finally do what I love the most. In a professional environment and with the help of a team from the sponsor that I can use. Physiotherapists, fitness trainers, and mental coaches would all help me take my sport to the next level. And on top of that, I'll be receiving a salary, so I no longer have to take customer assignments and can focus solely on my career.
I feel a wide grin forming on my face. It's as if the sun shines even brighter now, and the marble of the sculptures gleams even whiter.
"Yes!" I do a little jump for joy.
Automatically, I look at Hanna. I want to share my excitement with her, but she's still on the phone.
"Mm-hmm," she says now, her gaze flickering to me. She signals that she'll be done soon.
I observe her, and with every passing minute, my enthusiasm about the sponsorship fades. Because I realize that going back to the cliffs of the world also means never seeing Hanna again.
Do I want that?
As I contemplate, she turns her head to the side, and I can only see her phone. Still, I hear what she says. And this time, I understand it. "I love you too."
She loves him. I'm about to throw up. Just a moment ago, she lulled me into believing she didn't know what love was. And now, two seconds later, she's whispering love vows to her Florian?
Swallowing hard, I turn to the ceramic workshop's display window, pretending to be interested in the pieces. But they can't distract me.
"Sorry," Hanna says in Italian behind me. Her hand touches my arm.
With my heart pounding, I turn around. "No problem."
Of course, she doesn't buy into my facade. I can clearly see that in her eyes as she studies me intently. "He was surprised that mainly Camilla was handling the contract negotiation … ah, it doesn't matter," she says then with a troubled expression. For a moment, it seems as if this topic is causing her stomachache.
I don't understand this woman. Sometimes we are so close that I feel letting her go would be the biggest mistake of my life. A moment later, she behaves so strangely that I don't know if I'm just imagining all of this.
"Where were we?" she asks now, forcing a smile.
I shrug irritably. "We wanted to see more art studios," I reply, because I can't possibly bring up the question about the essence of love from before.
Suddenly, her smile fades, replaced by a resigned expression. "Right, that's what we wanted." With those words, she turns around and heads toward the nearest alley.
Once again, I look at the message on my phone. The decision is clear; I have to accept the offer. Not everyone gets such a chance. If I don't seize it now, it won't come again.
Still, I hesitate to reply. It's madness, as there is no reason for it. Just a moment ago, I learned that Hanna will never leave Florian. Whatever spark I felt between us was only in my own heart. And there's still my father's irreparably broken heart, which stands as a monument over my life. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn't end up like him.
Everything goes against holding on to this fascinating woman with sea-green eyes, and there's nothing in favor of it. Nothing, except my seemingly untameable feelings.