21. Parker Cain
21
PARKER CAIN
A gentle hand touched my forehead, pushing my sweaty hair aside. The room was blissfully dark and cool, and I wanted to drift off to sleep again, but there was something hazy, a thought nagging my mind. I needed to get up, but I couldn’t remember why.
Joy!
“Shit!” I gasped, lurching upright fast enough to make my head spin. “Where’s Joy?”
“She’s fine. Everything is fine. Just lie down.”
The soothing voice was reassuring, but it was not the voice I’d expected to hear. It was my mother’s.
“Mom?” I gasped, only this time my voice cracked like I was going through puberty for a second time.
Unfortunately, now that my body was really awake, it decided that it had found some more fluids and food it wanted to expel at lightning speed. I cursed under my breath and threw off the covers. My mom jumped up from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed and shoved a small trash can into my hands as I bolted for the bathroom. Thank God, I was familiar enough with Declan’s room to maneuver it in the pitch black .
“Did you make it?” Mom called from the doorway, the slightest note of amusement lilting through his voice.
“Yeah,” I moaned. The addition of the trash can had been helpful since I’d had it coming from both ends.
This episode of Parker Loses His Guts was much shorter, and I could crawl into Declan’s bed a few minutes later. While I was in the bathroom, she’d flipped on a bedside lamp and straightened out the blankets. As I climbed into bed, she made sure the bathroom was tidy and placed a fresh bag in the bin before returning it to the side of the bed.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as she handed me a glass of water with a straw.
“Tiny sips. Tiny sips. Just enough to wet your mouth,” she admonished while helping to hold the glass steady. She took the water away all too soon, not letting me take enough to actually turn my stomach inside out. “What do you think I’m doing here? You and Joy have the plague and Declan needed our help.”
“Yeah, but how…Joy!”
I forgot again!
As I was lurching upright a second time, my mom pressed a hand to my shoulder and eased me to the mattress.
“Declan and your father are watching the baby while I check on you. She’s doing fine. Her fever has come down, and the poo is more solid, which is better than you right now.”
That was true.
“But Dad’s here, too? How?” Nothing was making sense. How could they be here? What day was it? The last thing I remembered was passing out on Declan’s bed, but I’d meant to close my eyes for only a minute.
“Declan called me the moment he realized you were sick, too. He needed help, and he thought that I would have some good advice. Of course, when he offered to fly me out on a private jet, your father had to tag along because he couldn’t stand the idea of me going on a private jet without him. ”
“He flew you out on a private jet?” I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to clear my foggy thoughts. “When did you arrive? How long have I been asleep?”
“Almost seven hours. Your father and I have been here about an hour. Did you know private jets can get you here much faster than those commercial ones?”
My head was spinning, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of the virus or the insanity that my mom was spouting. Nothing was making sense. Declan had called my mother and actually flown my parents to Cincinnati from Phoenix just to take care of their sick son and granddaughter. I didn’t know what to say. How to feel. It was all too overwhelming.
“And we are going to have a long talk, Mister. How could you not tell us about the fire or the boyfriend?” my mom added in a low, hard tone.
Shit . I was in trouble.
“No, be nice to me.” I grabbed her cool hand and pressed it to my sweaty forehead. “You can’t be angry. I’m sick.”
“Out of four kids, you were always the biggest handful.” There was a wealth of love and warmth in her voice, allowing me to sink into the bed and edge closer to sleep.
A soft knock on the door had me opening my eyes. Declan eased his way into the room. His gaze immediately sought me out, but darted to my mother a second later. “Chef Donovan has prepared a light late dinner if you are hungry. Mr. Cain has already gone down to the breakfast nook. Joy has fallen back to sleep after taking her medicine.”
My mom threw me a very pointed look as if to say, “A private chef, huh?” and then turned to face Declan. “Thank you, Declan. That sounds wonderful.” She kissed my forehead, completely fearless of catching this demonic virus. “Get some sleep. I’ll check on you in the morning.”
Yeah, I could imagine the long talk that was headed my way the moment I started feeling the slightest bit better.
As Mom walked past Declan, she lightly patted his arm and smiled up at him. Declan nodded, his usual stiff and reticent self, before walking over to sit on the edge of the bed.
“How are you feeling?” he inquired.
“Like all my insides have been flipped inside out. As much as I love Chef Donovan’s cooking, I don’t want to eat. Sorry I’ve stolen your bed and made it all germy.”
“It’s okay. I’m taking your bed so I can be closer to Joy, but I’ll leave the door to your bedroom and this one open. Shout if you need me. Your parents are sleeping in the guest bedroom on the first floor.”
My eyes fell shut, and I blindly groped for his hand until I finally caught it for a weak squeeze. “I can’t believe you called my mom.”
“When you became sick, I panicked. Even with your instructions, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to care for you and Joy properly. What if Joy needed to go to the hospital? It wouldn’t be fair to Franks and Donovan to ask them to care for you in my absence. From your descriptions of your family, you seemed close to your mother, so I thought I could call her for advice. It was her idea to fly out.”
A small grin formed. “But you volunteered the private jet.”
“It was only fair since she was offering to go to the trouble of traveling across the country. Are you angry with me?”
I huffed a weary laugh. “Nope. Not at all. My mom knows exactly what kind of a whiny baby I can be. She can handle me. You take care of the little princess.”
“I will, but you should know that the little princess has likely destroyed my sense of smell for the rest of my life.”
A laugh broke free, but it turned into a groan. “Don’t make me laugh,” I groaned. “My stomach hurts, and I’m constantly afraid of shitting myself. Go away. Let me sleep.”
Declan brushed a kiss to my fingers before releasing my hand. He rose and turned off the lamp. I was asleep in a second.
Five. Days.
The plague swept the entire house, taking out everyone except for my mother.
The woman had to be part cockroach or something. Or had the immunity of Superman because it was so rare for her to get sick. But I guess that came from raising four hell spawn.
Joy got through the worst of it within twenty-four hours, but Franks went down next, followed by Donovan. I was mostly on my feet after forty-eight hours, though I was still hesitant to touch food. Unfortunately, as soon as I started moving, the virus took out both Declan and my dad.
It was a pleasant Sunday afternoon when everyone in the house was finally holding down food and water, as well as moving around. Declan, bless his sweet heart, called in an emergency cleaning crew to bleach the fuck out of every surface to kill any germs that were stupid enough to linger in the house.
As a result, Franks and Chef Donovan were sent away for three days to relax and recuperate at a spa somewhere in New England. My mom had initially suggested a trip to the zoo while the house was cleaned, but I had a feeling she was underestimating the size of the hills at the Cincinnati Zoo and opted for a lazy picnic lunch at Eden Park near the fountain. I figured if people had energy to spare, we could always take a turn through Krohn Conservatory—both pretty and a manageable walk for people recovering from a grueling illness.
Naturally, Mom had been waiting for such a quiet moment to spring on me. She’d bided her time for five long days, giving me and the rest of the house a chance to get better. But she had questions and would not be denied. Declan offered to take Joy for a walk in her stroller by the fountain, and I knew just what he was doing—giving my mom a chance to strike .
“Sooooo…” she drawled, making me cringe.
“Don’t be evil,” I muttered.
“Your mother is not evil. She’s concerned,” my father chimed in from the folding camping chair he was currently lounging in. My mother was in a matching chair beside him while I stretched out on a thick quilt, slowly picking at some fruit salad left from our lunch.
“Do you want to start with the fire you didn’t tell us about or the boyfriend you didn’t tell us about?” Mom prodded.
I took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “The fire sucked. I lost everything.” My head snapped up, and I narrowed my eyes at my parents. “You’ve still got that art I left at your house after college, right?”
“Of course! We haven’t touched it. It’s all wrapped up exactly how you left it,” Mom reassured me.
A second wave of relief unwound the tension that had suddenly gathered in my chest. I relaxed on the blanket and popped a dark red grape into my mouth. I stared out at the green park and the low-walled gazing pool with the single jet fountain that sprayed a geyser into the air. The wind caught the water, turning it into a white feather as the drops fell back to the pool. Summer was dragging its feet out the door. It was the middle of September, but it felt like June. The temperatures were still lingering in the eighties most days, and the trees had only tiny spots of autumn colors. People dotted the flat lawn, stretched out on towels and blankets as they sunbathed, read books, and listened to music, content to do nothing for a few hours before rushing off to the next thing.
A smile toyed with my lips to see blond and stern Declan pushing the ridiculously expensive black stroller around the fountain. Seriously, I made the mistake of looking up the price on that piece of hardware and it was the same as some small European cars. Of course, it matched him so well as he walked in his polo shirt and khaki slacks, seeming as if he just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Not to mention the little girl he was pushing was also decked out in baby Chanel or something else insanely expensive, but there was no point in arguing with that stubborn man.
“Anyway, Joy and I were out when the fire started. We returned from a visit with Molly’s parents to discover the disaster, and Declan happened to call. He offered to help.”
“And Declan called because…” Mom broke in.
“Because he is a friend.”
“Just a friend ?”
It was like the woman knew me or something. It wasn’t as if I were a total slut. I was like any healthy young man. I loved sex. What’s more, I loved great sex, and the sex didn’t get any better than with Declan Foster.
“Never mind,” Mom muttered.
I lifted my head to gaze at her. “What?”
“Good Lord, Park. That look on your face. I might be straight and old, but I still know what horny looks like.”
“Okay, yes. We were sleeping together and then became friends. Whatever. The point is, I was in a bad spot and Declan offered Joy and me a place to stay while I tried to figure out what the hell to do next. Since we’ve been living together, we’ve started officially dating.”
There was a long silence that followed, and I had to glance up at my parents. Dad was an easygoing guy. When it came to managing the kids, he wisely chose the course of following Mom’s lead. Unfortunately, my mother was staring at me with an anxious expression.
“What?” I finally demanded. “You like Declan. Don’t say you don’t. I know you do.”
“Yes, of course I like Declan. He’s quiet, but he’s very sweet. And he’s trying so hard to take care of you and Joy. No, my worry is what your plans are for your life. How long have you been living with him?”
“A month or so.”
“And the insurance has paid you? ”
“Yes.”
“When are you planning to find your own place and move out?”
My mouth bobbed for a moment, but no sound left me. I didn’t have any words. No argument that I could make. In the past few weeks, I hadn’t given a single thought to looking for a new apartment.
“I’m afraid you’re relying on him too heavily to avoid dealing with your own life.”
I sucked in a ragged breath at her harsh words. Heat from a mix of anger and embarrassment raced across my face and up to the tips of my ears. Was she fucking serious?
“Don’t get all huffy with me, Mister,” she said in her best mom tone, stopping me before I could argue. “You had all these big plans for your life, and they got massively derailed—first with Joy and then with the fire. In the blink of an eye, this very nice, very sexy man stepped in and made all your troubles go away. I understand staying for a little while to get your bearings, but you’ve always been incredibly independent. Are you hiding from all the bad things that have happened to you recently?”
Her words were a slap to the face no matter how delicately she attempted to deliver them. I shoved to my knees, my hands balled into fists at my sides. “When have I ever run from my problems? I’ve always faced everything head on.”
“You have, but during the worst of it, you also had Molly right at your side.”
My mom never pulled her fucking punches. I could feel all my righteous anger draining out of me at the mention of my dead best friend. It had been easy to be bold and brave when I’d had Molly at my side the whole way.
Mom’s expression softened and her eyes grew teary behind her glasses. “Park, honey, I’m not blaming you for needing time. Losing Molly would have been enough to set anyone back. She was like a sister. But to lose your home and your work, too. I get it. I do, honey. Declan has offered you a warm, safe environment in which to heal, and I am grateful to him for that. But have you even tried to leave this little cocoon he’s built for you? Are you even aware that you might be putting your life on hold and hiding out of fear of being hurt again?”
“How would my situation now be different if I’d taken your advice after Molly died and moved to Arizona? Wouldn’t I be living with you and Dad? Supported while I recovered from my life taking this weird turn?”
“But we’re your family. This is what we do for each other,” Dad interjected, but it didn’t help.
“We both know that if you moved home, you wouldn’t stay for more than six months. Probably just three. Then you’d have your own place for you and Joy. With Declan, you have no exit strategy. No plan to get on your own two feet.”
My mouth flew open to argue, but not a single sound trickled from my throat. What the hell could I say? She was right. Declan hired me to paint murals in his house, and I’d jumped on it because it gave me the chance to cling to my old dream while creating a sense of financial security, but where was the plan to get my own home? Where was the plan for how I was going to raise Joy on my own?
And now we were dating. Everything was becoming so tangled. Now even my emotions for Declan were changing, but was I staying with him because it was easy or because I loved him?
Even thinking about moving out of Declan’s house was like a knife stabbing me in the chest. I looked forward to having dinner with him every night. We would alternate who got to feed Joy while the other person ate. And our weekends were magical. Even when we were stuck at home because the weather was bad, just spending a quiet afternoon together was everything I could ever want. I had no desire to lose our time together.
But my mom had a point .
Was I hiding in Declan’s house because I didn’t want to face how hard life could be on my own? That wasn’t fair to Declan or myself.
I turned to face the fountain and dropped onto my ass. It took only a second to locate Declan and Joy as they made the turn toward us. He might not have been smiling, but I could see the upward tilt of his chin and the tiny spring to his steady gait. Declan was happy. So fucking happy. And it was because of Joy and me. Was I supposed to steal the happiness from him now because I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing with my life?
“So,” I started but immediately stopped to drag in a deep breath. “I get what you’re saying, and yes, I need to figure some things out. Dating Declan right now has made things…complicated. I care for him a lot. Might even be…fuck it. I am in love with this man. I love who he is and how he cares for Joy. I don’t want to mess this up, but I need to figure out how to put my life together again.”
“If he loves you as much as you love him, he’ll be right there with you as you figure your life out. That won’t scare him away.”
That was easy for her to say. Declan was one of the best damn things to ever happen to me, and I didn’t want to lose him.
My eyes followed Declan as he walked Joy. He leaned down and tickled her belly and I swore I could see a bare foot kick out above the side of the stroller. Seeing both of them like this eased the pain in my chest, but it didn’t get rid of the doubts my mom had inserted into my brain.
Had I jumped into all of this because it was safe and easy? While I might love Declan, would I be disappointed in myself for not standing on my own two feet?
“I’ll think about what you said,” I mumbled, forcing a smile on my lips as Declan left the sidewalk around the fountain and gazing pool to cut through the grass toward us .
“We just want what’s best for you, sweetheart,” Mom said.
Yeah, but who the hell knew what that was?
I glanced over my shoulder and flashed my mom a weak smile. She hadn’t meant any harm, and I knew her intentions were good. The problem was that I didn’t know what to do next.