Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
JUDE
The next day was horrid, beginning with the ringtone that indicated my mother was calling.
I accepted that I had to speak to her. On a Monday morning, and a workday, I wasn’t sure that my dad would be there to balance her outcry.
Nevertheless, I bolstered myself with thoughts of Ethan and the life that I envisioned eventually.
“Hello, Mom,” I said, keeping my voice strong.
“Hello? Is that all you have to say?” As usual, her tone was cutting.
“I’m assuming my secretary emailed my letter to you,” I said, working at keeping my voice steady. “Is that why you’re not at work?”
She screeched so loud, I had to pull the phone away from my ear. Thankfully, she hadn’t initiated a video chat. “The last thing on my mind is work. Where are you? Your father and I are going to take you back where you belong. And then you’ll beg forgiveness from Father Matthew and the bishop.”
My ire rose. “What does Father Matthew have to do with anything? I sent him a notice of my resignation as a sign of respect.”
“Respect is getting on your knees—”
“Mom,” I shouted, shutting her up. Then I used all my will power to temper my voice. “Mom, I’m not going back. I’m through.”
“You are not,” she hissed.
Ignoring her remark, I continued, “The bishop was going to deny my laicization and that is unacceptable to me. I have other plans for my life.”
“Your plans were with the Church,” she said, agitated by my refusal to give in. “I’m warning you, tell me where you are.”
“Or what? Mom,” I asked, my voice rising again to meet hers against my will.
“I’m thirty-four. Not the na?ve nineteen-year-old who didn’t have a backbone.
” Calming again, I stated flatly, “Somehow, I grew one,” as I envisioned Ethan holding my hand, kissing me…
giving me strength. “I’m long gone, Mom.
And I’m going to keep traveling until I find a place where I want to settle.
When I do, then I’ll tell you where I am. But not before.”
“I’ll find you. I’ll have you tracked if I have to,” she warned. “You’re not going to make a fool out of me.”
Just then, I realized I’d have to buy a new phone and block my family’s numbers. And anyone else who might come after me, like Father Matthew. He’d do it out of spite, just like my mother. Her ire based on her pride—for how bad I made her look. It was and always would be about her.
I was suddenly and thoroughly fatigued. “I have to go, Mom. Tell Dad that I’m fine and I’ll be in touch again soon. I’m changing my phone number as of this morning.”
“Don’t you dare,’ she screamed.
“Bye, Mom,” I said and disconnected the call.
I immediately powered down my phone, since I couldn’t disturb Ethan at work. But in case he sent a text, I didn’t want him to worry so I dressed hurriedly and left my room. The Apple Store would be open by the time I drove to the mall.
Less than an hour later, I stopped at a coffee shop in Los Alamitos, north of Long Beach and six miles inland. I wanted to get some air and figured although I was sitting outdoors on the patio, that I’d be safe from someone seeing me. I took a sip of my latte and then sent a text to Ethan.
Me: Hi, this is Jude. I had to change my number. Explain later
I thought he’d be busy and not answer me as immediately as he did.
Ethan: I was worried. I took lunch early so I’d be able to check in with you. Thank fuck you messaged me
Me: Sorry, I’m good. Or I will be when I see you
Me: I will see you after work, right?
Ethan: Yes. Where?
Me: Please, baby, here for one more night
Ethan: Not playing fair, Babbo, calling me your baby. I’m a sucker
Ethan: I’ll be there at six thirty.
Me: Mexican for dinner?
Ethan: Fish tacos with the works. TY
Me: *heart emoji*
As I pressed Send on my last message, a shadow towered over me. “Father Jude,” Father Matthew barked.
I steeled myself before looking up, cursing my bad luck. What on earth was he doing in Los Alamitos? “What do you want? Or has my mother called you already”
He dragged a chair out and sat down. “She has.”
“And you spoke to her against instructions from Bishop Sanchez. He won’t be happy that you are consistently disobeying him.”
“You’re wrong,” the priest said smugly. “He wanted me to aid him in finding you.
“And you have,” I said, my tone bordering on crudeness. “I’ll ask again. What do you want?”
Father Matthew sneered. “What do you think, Jude?”
With my elbows on the table, I leaned forward, my tone resolute.
“According to canon law, the bishop will send out letters to me and my family to alert them of my unauthorized leave of absence. The letters are also meant to remind me of my vows and for me to contact my superiors, which I have in my letters.” I took a deep breath and lowered my voice menacingly.
“Neither you, nor the bishop… nor the Church on whole has the authority to physically retrieve me. If and when I decide to see or talk to Bishop Sanchez, that conversation will not include you and will take place on my terms and on my timeline. Am I making myself clear, Father Matthew?” His name came out in a hiss.
The priest’s reddened face made his full-cheeked countenance appear even rounder, like an apple. He undoubtedly didn’t presume I had it in me because he sputtered as he attempted a retort. “This is not the end, Father Jude.”
“Oh, Father Matthew, as far as I’m concerned, it is. Also, when you speak to my mother, feel free to tell her where you saw me. By the time, she can buy a plane ticket, I’ll be long gone.” I stood up and trashing my full coffee cup in a nearby bin, walked out.
“Come back now, Jude,” he yelled, flustered.
I didn’t even turn around. As soon as I was out of sight, I dashed to my car, hopped in, and took off as fast as I could.
I wouldn’t dare go in the direction of my hotel.
Instead, I drove farther inland to the town of Cypress, using side roads where I could lose someone in case he was following me.
He drove a silver Ford Escape with the letters OFM as part of his license plate, which made it easy to identify his vehicle.
I wish I had my laptop with me because I would’ve sent an email to the bishop asking for an appointment.
What Father Matthew made me realize was that I wanted an end to this.
And meeting the bishop face-to-face might give him the incentive he needed to laicize me.
I thought about where I could get access to a computer and slapped my forehead when I remembered the library.
Typing library near me into my GPS, the Cypress Library on Orange Ave came up, which was only five minutes away. When I entered the library, I had a better idea.
I approached the information desk, monitored by a middle-aged woman with a welcoming smile. “Hello, can I help you?”
“I hope so,” I said as I pulled my business card from my wallet, which had my photo.
I handed it to her. “As you can see, I’m Father Jude, the pastor at St. Michael the Archangel Church in Long Beach.
I lost my phone and have to contact my secretary.
Is there a phone here that I can use? It’s rather important. ”
“Of course, Father. Come this way.” She led me into a copier room with three copy and fax machines. Putting her hand down on a landline phone, she said, “You can access an outside line by pressing nine.”
“Thank you so much,” I said.
I dialed Inés.
“Father Jude?” She was clearly upset, going by her anxious tone. “Oh my God, where are you? Everyone is going crazy.”
“Inés,” I said evenly. “I need you to calm down so you can help me. Can you do that?”
“Yes, Father. But just tell me, are you okay?”
“Yes, I am and I’m really sorry I didn’t speak to you before I left. But it was a sudden decision.”
“Are you coming back?”
“No, Inés, but I can’t explain now. I promise, I will.”
She regained her composure and asked, “I’m good now, Father. What can I do?”
“I need you to be the go-between for me and Bishop Sanchez. I’ve changed my phone number and don’t want to give it out to anyone. I’m currently calling from a library. Above all do not share information with Father Matthew. Got it?”
“Definitely, Father. He’s been horrible to me since you left. Won’t stop asking if I’ve
heard from you.”
“Well, destiny wasn’t with me today,” I huffed out an exasperated sigh. “I was having coffee in Los Alamitos, he happened by and, of course, spotted me.”
Her concern came through in her question. “Are you in one piece?”
“Mostly,” I said. “Since he’s not my superior any longer I was able to speak my mind.
But right now, I have a more important problem.
I need you to call the bishop and set up an appointment for me to meet with him.
Preferably for tomorrow. Make it clear to him that I’m leaving California and would like to apologize in person before I go. ”
“Father, you want me to call immediately, right?”
“Yes, Inés. I’m going to get on one of the computers here. Email me his answer. He must know already that I changed my number so he can’t reach me directly. I’ll wait here for an hour. If I don’t hear back by then, update me whether you have an answer from him or not. Any questions?”
“No, I got it, Father. I’ll get on it now. And Father?”
“What is it, Inés?”
“I could tell you were miserable,” she said. “I’m one hundred percent behind what you did.”
My heart went soft for her. “Inés, that means a lot to me. Thank you for your help.”
She disconnected the call. I went back to the desk and thanked the woman, then made my way over to the computer station where half a dozen computers were all empty. Probably due to the time of day. With such beautiful weather, mothers and kids were most likely at the beach.
I sat down and paid my dues for an hour’s worth of WIFI time. I logged into my email account for the church when my phone pinged with a text.
Ethan: I’m on a break. Any trouble today?
Me: A lot but I think my Dom personality came out
Ethan: I’m glad you stayed strong