Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
ETHAN
Waking up to Jude was everything I’d never imagined before.
He was still asleep, his even breathing and warm breath on my neck as he laid tucked into my side causing me to choke back my emotions.
As much as I preferred lying next to him, I had to shower and get ready for work.
My attempt at slipping away without jostling him too much wasn’t effective because even in his semi-wakefulness, his reaction was to pull me back in again, a move that made me swallow another lump in my throat.
“What time is it?” he asked, as he stroked down my back? “You’re so nice and warm.”
“Five forty-five.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Go back to sleep. I have a big day ahead of me so I need to get going.”
Jude pushed up on his elbows, and I hid my amusement as he tried to come awake. “Do you usually have breakfast?”
“Cereal,” I said. “But I also have to make my lunch. No coffee. I get that at work.”
He rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms, revealing his flawless pale skin. “Okay, would you eat toast and scrambled eggs instead?”
“Definitely,” I said. “But don’t feel that you have to.”
“I don’t. Now go,” he urged and planted an openmouthed kiss on my back.
Twenty minutes later, he was sitting with me at the breakfast counter drinking coffee while I ate the food he’d prepared. “This is another first for me. Thank you, Babbo.”
Jude eyes me curiously. “Which part?”
“Since I’ve never had anyone in my bed all night, no one has ever made me breakfast. The closest I’ve come is when I meet Gabby at picnic tables overlooking the beach and she brings homemade bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches.”
She sounds like her mother,” Jude said. “Wanting to keep the people she loves well fed. On that note, I made you a couple of sandwiches for lunch.”
“Grazie.” I studied Jude as he sipped his coffee, his hair mussed from sleep and the early dawn light illuminating the golden flecks in his eyes. “Would you be open to meeting them?”
Jude’s head popped up to meet my gaze. “I-I’m not sure. What would they think of me… being a priest… and with you?”
“Mamma will hug you until you can’t breathe and tell you how thrilled she is that you make her figlio happy. And then she’d drag you into the kitchen to visit while she cooked.”
Jude kind of stared and then tipped his head back and laughed, which had the space behind my rib cage carving out more room for him.
I studied him. “She wouldn’t pry. She’s not that kind of woman at all. And if and when you ever need advice, she’s a great listener. Unbiased, with a generous heart.”
“Meeting them means a lot to you,” Jude said, a statement more than a question.
“Yes, it does. Think about it.” I pushed to my feet, went to the refrigerator, and plucked out my lunch bag. “Right now, we have to leave if I’m going to drop you back at the hotel.”
“Do you mind if I hang out here? The view of the ocean is amazing, and I’d really enjoy taking a long walk later.”
“Of course,” I said, pleased that he wanted to stay in my space.
“Go through my drawers and pull out whatever you want to wear. I have plenty of athletic shorts and tank tops. Also, just a heads-up, I can’t reply to calls or texts when I’m working in the service bay.
If there’s an emergency, call the service department and ask for Frank.
He knows who you are. I’ll check in when I take lunch. Usually about eleven thirty.”
Jude slid off the stool and walked over to me. “Now you’re sounding like a papa bear.”
“With you I am. But honestly, I’d rather be told what to do,” I said and winked as I collected my things and left Jude with heat in his eyes.
I walked down the hallway to the elevator, imagining Jude discarding his coffee in the sink and going into the bedroom to jack off. The sheets smelled of sex and us when I woke up, a good start to my day.
At work, I stopped by Frank’s office before I settled in at my bay. Seeing that he was alone, I rapped on the window. When he gestured for me to come in, I entered and closed the door behind me.
“You look like you’ve got something on your mind,” Frank said, turning away from his computer screen to give me his full attention.
“Just a quick question, really. I wanted to run it by you first before I said anything to Mamma.”
“So, this is personal, not business,” he confirmed.
“Yeah, sorry, I’ll catch you at lunchtime,” I said, turning for the door.
“Ethan, come back and sit down. You’re not disturbing anything that can’t wait. Neither would you have come in here unless it was important.”
I gladly pivoted back to the armchair opposite Frank. I didn’t want to waste his time so spat out, “I met someone. A guy.”
Frank’s mouth split into a broad smile, making his dimples pop like quotation marks when he said, “That’s wonderful, Ethan. Give me details.”
Fuck, this part was tricky. How should I broach Jude’s situation? His leg started bouncing and he stilled it. “There are complications, Frank.”
“Knowing you, they can’t be as bad as you think,” Frank encouraged.
I breathed in, huffed it out, then said, “Jude… that’s his name. He left the priesthood against the bishop’s will. It’s not illegal or anything and the Church can’t come after him physically but…” I looked directly at Frank. “I care a lot about him. And he feels the same about me.”
Frank hummed to himself and combed his fingers through his wavy gray hair. “Are you telling me to get my approval, son?”
I immediately cast my gaze down, not having expected the question.
But now that it was out there, Frank was right.
It was the reason I’d chosen to talk to him first privately, without Mamma.
He’d switched to addressing me as his son to remind me of my status as family, and I loved him for it.
“To be honest, I hadn’t thought about it until you asked me.
But yes, Frank, as the head of the family your approval would mean a lot to me. ”
Frank leaned forward. “Then you have it. Now tell me more about your man.”
I filled Frank in with some of Jude’s history regarding how long he’d been with the Church. Then I explained about his situation with his parents, Father Matthew, and the bishop. “Frank, I want you to know that we didn’t even hold hands until he physically separated himself from the Church.”
“Son, I don’t need to know details. What you do romantically is not my business, but you never mentioned how you met. You said it’s been a couple of months so not holding hands would’ve required a lot of willpower.”
Frank wouldn’t be able to see on my dark skin, but I blushed hot at telling him. “Our first meeting and for several weeks afterward… well, we met in the confessional at his church.”
It’s lucky that Frank hadn’t been drinking anything when he choked on his own saliva. “Excuse me, do you mean an actual confessional where people confess their sins?”
I cocked my head at him. “Do you want the detailed version?”
“Hell, yeah,” Frank said.
“It all began when I started parking in front of the rectory…” I continued on until the present.
I sat forward, my arms flat on his desk, and admitted in a very low voice.
“I haven’t been with anyone in seven years Frank.
The thought of being with another man scared the fuck out of me; that I’d get triggered.
But our visits in the confessional where we couldn’t touch provided a safe place for us since he never cheated on his vows.
Even now, we’re taking it slow. Bizarre, right?
And yet, being with him feels so right.”
When Frank suddenly pushed to his feet, I jumped up.
He came around the desk, using the flat surface to steady himself since he didn’t have his cane, and he hauled me into a bear hug that made my eyes water with relief.
“I’m so happy for you, son. And Mamma will be equally overjoyed.
” With his hands on my shoulders, he pushed me away to meet my gaze.
“This is what we’ve both wanted for you. To see you with someone.”
“Just to make sure… you’re okay with the whole priest thing?” I asked tentatively, needing the extra verbal consent.
“Ethan, if he was as unhappy as you say and he’d tried for eight years in order not to disappoint his parents, first of all, it’s a damn pity that they’re not supporting him.
He wanted to find what he was meant to do in life and that takes courage.
And if part of his plan is making you happy, then Mamma and me will fill in, just like we did for you. ”
“I love you, Frank,” I blurted out and embraced him this time.
“I know you do. So, you’ll come to Sunday dinner and we’ll make sure that Gabby and Belle are there. And we’ll call Teddy while you’re at the house so he can meet Jude, too.” Frank patted me on my back as he walked me to his office door. “When are you going to call Mamma?”
“Tonight,” I confirmed.
Frank studied me for a second, then said, “You look happy, Ethan.”
“I’m not getting ahead of myself,” I said cautiously, “but I am happy.”
The day flew by even though I had to shorten my call to Jude at lunchtime. I had a tricky service job, and I didn’t want to work overtime. In the past, I wouldn’t have cared but knowing that Jude was waiting for me made all the difference.
“Hey,” I said when I walked into my apartment.
Jude was standing on the patio. When he turned around, he took my breath away.
With the sun haloing his blond locks and his brown eyes looking more like liquid caramel than dark earth, it made me think back to the first time I laid eyes on him.
He was an angel in that moment. And more of one now that I’d come to know him.
“Hi,” he said, almost shyly.
I put my keys and lunch carrier on the kitchen counter and walked toward him, slowly appreciating his toned arms under one of my T-shirts. “You look like you got some sun.”