Chapter 24 #5
“Logistics are on your side for this week. Since you’ll be staying at Frank’s house, you have a reprieve. I won’t be going easy on you, Jude, and you’re going to need a lot of aftercare. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Daddy. I deserve whatever you do to me. When will it be?”
I lifted his chin to me. “That depends on whether you come home again.”
I heard Jude gulp back tears, evidenced by the sudden watery glaze in his eyes, and I kissed him. “No more tears tonight, baby. Let’s enjoy being away from everything and everyone. Si?”
“Si,” Jude croaked out on a last sob.
“Do you need time alone or can I shower with you?”
“The latter, Daddy.”
Not requiring time alone was a significant step in the right direction for us and my heart fluttered with optimism.
After we showered and dressed, I scanned our options.
I’d only been to Oceanside twice and I’d eaten at a cheap taco joint once and a burger place on my second visit.
Since tonight was special and we only had jeans and polo shirts, I selected a restaurant on the water that appeared very casual from the photos, had a mouthwatering menu, and most of all lent to the theme of the evening—Dominic’s Italian restaurant.
“Where are we going?” Jude asked.
“It’s a surprise that’s connected to my news so you have to wait and find out.”
He looked in the mirror and fingered his blond locks. I noticed his gaze fell to the hickey that was visible. “Does it bother you that people will know what we’ve been up to?”
He grinned, then took my hand. “I hope they do. Come on, Daddy. I’m hungry.”
The blow job I gave him in the shower had lightened the mood between us despite the distance between us that wasn’t there a week ago.
I refrained from calling Gabby to ask about Isabella, knowing they were in the hospital if anything went awry.
Jude didn’t need me bringing her up tonight when I was trying to seduce him into being my boyfriend again.
“I’m hungry, too,” I said. “And going early before the crowd make it easier to have a conversation.”
Since parking for Dominic’s was on the street, we took Jude’s car but I drove so he could relax.
His second orgasm in the shower was the most erotic thing I’d seen, with his head thrown back, his eyes dilated, and water sluicing over his glistening body.
No pun intended but he was what wet dreams were made of.
I’d come as well and with all the cum we shot, we had to soap up and rinse off.
But sex with Jude was well worth it. Even after almost a year, we were still discovering new things about our bodies and how to wring every drop of pleasure from our encounters.
We arrived in ten minutes and after finding a spot in front, he looked questioningly from the restaurant to me. “Dominic’s is part of the surprise?”
“Patience, tesoro,” I said and winked at him before getting out of the car and walking around to open his door. He’d taken some time to accustom himself to me doing personal services as such but I thought he kind of liked it now.
Inside the restaurant, the hostess asked if we wanted outside overlooking the harbor or inside. “Jude? I asked.
“Outside, please.”
“Perfect,” the hostess said. “It’s beautiful this time of day and so quiet. The decibels start to climb in two hours.”
“Would we be able to sit at the railing?”
“At this time of day, yes,” she said and led us to the far end where we had a panoramic view of the marina, lighthouse, and farther in the distance, the expansive Pacific Ocean.
“Perfect,” I said. “Thank you.”
She looked us over for a second and then asked with a twinkle, “Valentine’s Day dinner?”
My head snapped to look at Jude but all he did was shrug. “Now that you reminded us, we’ll celebrate the holiday.”
“At least you both forgot, so no damage done,” she said chuckling. Then she asked, “Would either of you like a drink from the bar?”
Turning to Jude, I said, “I’m going to order wine. If you want, I’ll get a bottle.”
“I won’t drink that much,” he said. “A glass is fine for me.”
“Two glasses of your best pinot grigio and water, please,” I said, appreciative the woman was gracious.
One thing I enjoyed about Southern California was I never felt under a microscope for being gay.
With San Francisco to the north and San Diego at the southern end, the state was bracketed by a spectrum of people under the Pride umbrella.
“I’ll have the bartender select a nice vintage.” She’d been holding two menus and placed them on the table. “Take your time reviewing our options.”
“This is really nice, Ethan. Although, I’m not sure about us celebrating… you know, this holiday.”
I sat back in my chair, curious about his comment. He had said he loved me hundreds of times. “Why not?”
Jude’s eyes widened, puzzled by my question.
I continued before he could find reasons to disagree.
“Tesoro, the day is about love. There is no rule that states a person has to be in a committed relationship. Regardless, I’m under the impression that you love me.
Or do you say it because at some point in our living together, you felt you had to reciprocate my feelings? ”
I died a thousand deaths inwardly when he didn’t answer my question immediately; that a declaration didn’t just flow from him like it did for me. I wanted to strangle him at this point. “So, that’s why you ran. And I was stupid enough to come after you.”
“No,” he exclaimed, a little too loudly and just as the waitress came with our drinks.
She placed a glass in front of Jude and then me. “The bartender asked if you wouldn’t mind trying it.”
“Of course,” I said to be polite, considering I didn’t even want to be in the restaurant any longer.
I tipped the glass and raised it to my nose.
I swirled the wine, then took another sip.
“Mm,” I hummed. “Dry, crisp with fruit. It’s been a while since I did a wine tasting but I guess I haven’t lost my touch.
It’s from the north. Give him my appreciation for the excellent choice. ”
“I will. Have you decided on a meal yet?”
“Sorry, give us some time,” I asked, gesturing to Jude and myself.
She was a smart woman and said, “Sure thing, just give me a nod when you’re ready.”
I took a longer drink of wine. “Jude, I’m trying so hard not lose it, but you’ve fucking tested me the last couple of days. Tell me why you couldn’t say you love me? You did in the hotel room.”
If the napkins were paper, Jude would’ve shredded his already.
As it was, he was playing a game of tug-of-war with the cotton napkin.
When he didn’t answer me, I tried another tact.
Scanning our area, I saw that we were still alone.
I got up and crouching next to Jude I gripped his nape, my thumb near his Adam’s apple.
In a very low, dominant tone, I asked, “What is your safeword?”
“Red, Daddy.”
“Until you call red, I am still your Dom. When I ask you a question, you will give me an honest answer. No fucking bullshit.” I put pressure on his neck.
“If you don’t, I will call red. I’ll get up from this table, take an Uber back to my truck, and go home.
And that will be the end. I am fucking tired of you jacking me around. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Daddy,” he said, his bottom lip trembling, but I was through giving a fuck.
I had a baby to consider, and I would not bring someone into her life that didn’t intend to stick around. My final grip bordered on him gasping so I released him. I went back to my chair and waited a few beats to cool down. I hadn’t been this angry since Napa.
Before I said anything, he said, “May I ask you a question first?”
I gave a curt nod. “Go ahead.”
“You once said that I was your first longtime boyfriend. And you’ve never had a partner or spouse.
What made you think you loved Thorne?” He quickly put up his hand.
“My reason for asking is that, ever since I ran away, I knew that I’d made a huge mistake.
I was just too much of a coward to go back.
I felt like both an asshole and an idiot.
I kept thinking if I loved you as much as I always told you, why would I take off and ruin what was supposed to have been a joyous moment?
That’s what suddenly made me question myself.
So, I’ll ask again, why did you think you loved Thorne? ”
“That’s simple,” I said. “He said he loved me. In the beginning, he gave me gifts, always praised me. Told me that I’d be his forever boy.
But I was wrong, because love isn’t only words.
It’s like what I said about apologies. The words alone have no depth.
His actions disproved his words, and I realized early on that I’d been kidding myself. ”
“What about with me?” Jude asked softly, the napkin just scrunched in his hands now, on his lap.
“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. “I saw you and something inside me was so taken by your beauty. Somehow, you were an angel come alive. In the days after, I kept wondering why after over twenty years I’d go inside a church.
And the pull to see you in the confessional the following day was a desire I had no equal to in my life.
Even though we never even touched, I knew that you were meant to be mine. ”
“Was it easy then to say you loved me?”
I took a sip of wine as did Jude, which gave me a moment to think back. “Honestly, the words came out without much premeditation. They felt natural. And it made me think of when I’d heard people say that something just felt right.”
“So unlike with Thorne, the words came from a place of feelings and emotions. Because I clearly never gave you gifts.” He took a second to figure something out, the way his face was screwed up.
“And you never considered that your love for me isn’t real?
You have no previous history to use as a comparison. ”