Chapter 38 Carter
CARTER
I’d barely restrained myself from texting her continuously so she could relax properly. She’d sent me a few pictures of the vineyard and the hotel, and I was glad she was enjoying herself. She deserved it.
And once she got back, I’d have her all to myself.
At my apartment, I went directly to the bedroom, planning to sleep right away.
But I stopped in the doorway, taking in the room.
Something was off. I glanced around. The apartment was far too orderly.
Val liked to leave her things all around, which didn’t bother me.
The girls did the same. It made the place look lived in.
Had she tidied up before leaving? Or had the cleaning company been in here in the meantime?
But they never moved the clothes, unless they were on the floor, and then they placed everything on the bed. No, this must have been Val’s doing.
I looked inside the dresser. None of her clothes were there.
Had she needed all her things on the trip?
Unlikely. Val had brought enough clothes here for three people.
My pulse sped up when I checked the bathroom.
She’d had what had seemed like a million bottles of all shapes and sizes spread everywhere, and now they were all gone.
I popped open the top button of my shirt, suddenly feeling as if I couldn’t breathe right.
Why had she taken everything? She couldn’t possibly need them all on her trip.
An impossible thought wiggled its way into my mind as fear clawed at my gut. Had she left me?
I gripped the bathroom sink with both hands until my knuckles went white.
That couldn’t be right. We’d spoken every day. Our conversations had been short, and Val had talked longer to the girls than to me, but I hadn’t thought much of it. Should I have?
Since our fight, Val had been a little colder, but honestly, I’d deserved it. I’d planned to pamper her like a princess once she got back from the vineyard and we could be alone, to show her just how important she was to me.
She hadn’t changed her mind, had she? I moved to the living room and poured myself a glass of bourbon. I had told her to take the time and think if she was happy with the fact that I was a package deal, if that was what she wanted.
Had she discovered she wasn’t happy after all? Had she decided she didn’t want the girls and me?
It seemed impossible. I remembered her fury the night I’d suggested it, the indignation in her voice when she told me she loved the girls. But maybe once she’d stepped away from the grind of the daily life and had some time to reflect, things became clearer.
I was still standing at the small bar, with my back to the living room, not wanting to see how empty the apartment was. I didn’t want to register what it could possibly mean, because I couldn’t handle it.
If Val wanted to end things, there were better ways to do it than just packing up her things and leaving.
What was I supposed to tell the girls? Or was she going to do us the courtesy of sitting down with us and explaining everything?
I didn’t know which was worse. Hearing from her mouth that she wanted to bow out, or living with the uncertainty.
The girls loved Val. They counted on her. God damn it, I loved Val.
After giving up on love, I’d found her. And she’d become such an integral part of my life, of me, that I wasn’t even sure who I was without her anymore.
“Carter Sloane strikes again,” Zachary exclaimed the next morning. I wasn’t in the mood to have any sort of conversation with him. I’d been up all night, unable to set my fears straight.
We were on a conference call because I’d announced I was working from home.
“I should have trusted your gut. The Connor case was very good for us.”
Zachary was reading the newest press coverage about the firm. I didn’t bother faking interest. I wanted to get off this call as soon as possible. My head wasn’t in the game today.
“By the way, we received a request for representation from… guess who?” With pride in his voice, he named a Fortune 500 company.
Right now, I didn’t give a damn about that either, which was saying something, since I’d wanted an account like that since we opened the firm.
“That’s good to hear,” I said finally.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“It’s just not a great day.”
I felt a hollow ache in my entire body, as if I was coming down with the flu. Hearing Val’s name had only intensified it. After finishing the conference call, I made to open my laptop, then closed it again. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to work, damn it.
I kept staring at the empty apartment, driving myself crazy trying to find an explanation. I was overwhelmed by a bone-deep desperation I couldn’t shake off. Not knowing was excruciating. Eventually, I broke down and texted Val.
Carter: Got home last night and saw that all your stuff was gone. Laundry day?
I gripped the phone tightly when the words “Val is typing” appeared on the screen.
Val: Not exactly.
A white-hot pain gripped me, as if someone had stuck a burning needle in my chest, pushing it all the way to my back.
Carter: What do you mean?
Val: My things were everywhere… I’d practically moved into your apartment, and we’d never discussed that. And I’ve been poking my nose in the girls’ business a lot… I thought that maybe you didn’t like that I was so intrusive.
I stared at the words. She had thought what?
“Intrusive,” my ass.
I clenched and unclenched my hand before running my fingers through my hair. So I’d been correct in my assumption that she hadn’t just taken all her clothes for no reason. Was this just an excuse to blow me off instead of telling it to me straight?
Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back, breathing in deeply. Was there a possibility that I’d lost her already?
No, it just couldn’t be….
I forced myself to remain as logical as possible even as my entire body was constricting with panic. I’d known Val for months, and I could say with certainty that she wasn’t one to play games. If she had wanted to end things, she wouldn’t have just up and left.
Unless she thought it would be easier not to do it face-to-face.
Jesus, why was I jumping to the worst conclusions?
Maybe because I’d gone through my fair share of disappointments.
But so had Val, hadn’t she? I reviewed the message.
Her text read as if she’d given this a lot of thought.
I knew my Val well enough to piece things together, understand what was going on through her mind.
Carter: We’ll have a serious talk when you come back. I’m picking you up from LAX.
Val: You don’t have to.
Carter: It wasn’t a question.
I’d offered to do that before, but she’d insisted there was no need for me to endure the traffic. I didn’t want to be apart from her a minute longer than I had to.
I counted down the hours until her landing and arrived at the airport early.
When Val finally walked out, I let out a long exhale. She was alone, because her sisters were returning with a later flight.
Fuck, she was beautiful in that bright yellow dress. I couldn’t wait to get her home. I wanted to taste her mouth and her skin. I wanted to sink inside her until she called out my name and understood that she was mine. I’d show her exactly how perfect we were for each other.