Chapter 6
6
I was in one of the large superstores which sold everything from ladies’ clothes to soft furnishings and even small pieces of furniture, and I was enjoying meandering around.
‘Oh, are you a toucher too?’ A lady smiled and I realised that I’d been wandering around fondling fabrics between my fingers.
I laughed. ‘My husband always used to tell me off for that,’ I explained, and bizarrely my eyes filled up with tears as once again it hit me how much my life had changed. I wasn’t sure if it was relief or sadness that Michael wasn’t in control, telling me what I could and couldn’t do or buy, or ridicule me for my little quirks that made me me.
‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Is he…?’
‘A twat?’ I laughed. ‘Yes, he is.’
The other lady joined in with my laughter. ‘Most of them are. I suppose that’s better than dead. Although…’
We smiled at each other, realising that we clearly had something in common.
‘Ex,’ I amended. ‘Not husband.’ The little stab to my heart I felt every time I said this little word seemed to be getting less powerful as time passed. Maybe time is a healer after all. Perhaps Sandpiper Shore was working its magic on me already and making me stronger.
‘You do realise that ex-husbands are exes for a reason, don’t you?’
‘Excellent point,’ I said, and with our kind little chat over, we both went off in different directions.
I chose a pair of lovely ready-made Orla Kiely curtains with matching bed linen and then went to eye up the four contrasting cushions. Michael hated cushions on a bed. In an act of defiance, I grabbed them and as I handed over my payment card to the lady on the till, I grinned to myself. The knowledge of knowing that I could decorate and furnish my new home exactly the way I wanted to felt rather liberating, although with the moving costs and even more wedding costs eating into the money that Mum had given me, I’d have to start to watch my spending soon, although I thought my new home deserved a treat today.
As I put the shopping in the boot of the car, I glanced over the road and noticed a little bistro. If I went in there and had something to eat now, and a drink, I wouldn’t need to worry about food when I got home. Whilst treating myself to a meal out felt like an extravagance I couldn’t afford, I remembered that Mum said I deserved to spoil myself now that I didn’t have anyone to spoil me. Not that Michael had spoilt me in any way in recent years. Yes, I would definitely go and have food.
The bistro was heaving. It was lovely to see that it was clearly thriving. There was just one table left which the waitress led me over to. How lucky I felt to get that last spot.
While drinking a cup of tea and waiting for the food, I grabbed my Kindle from my bag. I never went anywhere without it. An avid reader since being a child, I always made sure I had something to read at all times, especially since I’d been on my own. I felt a bit of a ‘Billy No Mates’ when eating out but no one ever thought any wrong of anyone who was reading.
When I heard the bell over the door go, I noticed that the lady who I’d been joking with in the store had also come in. The waitress looked around for a table, shook her head and then looked at her watch as if she was telling her that there would be a wait. It seemed a shame for her to be sent away again when there was space at my table.
I took a deep breath, embraced the moment and the knowledge that I needed to make new friends and raised my arm to catch her eye before beckoning her over.
‘As long as you don’t mind sharing, you can come and sit with me,’ I said.
‘Are you sure? I’d hate to intrude.’
‘Oh, God. Not at all. I’ve read this page about ten times already. I just can’t seem to connect with the main character, to be honest.’
‘Hate it when that happens and honestly, it’s so kind of you. Thank you very much.’
As she took a seat opposite me at the table, and placed her handbag over the back of her chair, I realised how nice it was to have company for a change.
‘You’re most welcome. I’m Jo, by the way.’
‘Michelle. Nice to meet you. Are you local?’
‘No, I’m…’ I stopped myself, realising that this wasn’t the case any more.
‘Yes, actually. Yes, I am.’
‘Are you sure about that?’ Michelle had a lovely tinkly laugh and she seemed to have a happy smiling expression on her face all the time.
‘I’ve just moved to a village close by. Sandpiper Shore it’s called. I’d almost forgotten the name then!’
‘You’ve just moved? That’s exciting. I want to hear all about it.’
Once Michelle had placed her order, and we’d told the waitress to hold back with my food and bring the two plates together, I told her briefly about how I’d ended up moving to my new home by the sea.
‘God, you’re so brave. I really admire you, Jo. Doing something like that, at… well, I hope you don’t mind me saying because you’re clearly younger than me, but at our age I was going to say.’
I was a little bit flabbergasted. I didn’t feel like I’d done much in my life that had been admired before. What a nice lady she was. I could feel my spirit lift even further. It’s amazing how a compliment can boost someone’s self-esteem.
‘Gosh, I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t insult you then?’
‘Not at all. The fact that you said you admired me way overshadowed the age reference.’
She smiled. ‘It’s courageous and it’s awesome. Honestly, I wish I was brave enough to do something like that. So come on then.’ She giggled. ‘How old are you?’
‘I’m fifty-two.’
‘Snap!’
‘August 18th.’
‘September 10th.’
‘Ah, not much in it at all then. We’re almost twins.’ I grinned at her, realising just how far from the truth that was. She was so lovely. Beautifully made up, blonde bob swinging from side to side, signifying a blooming good hairdresser, confident, attractive; while if I managed to swipe a slick of lip gloss on before leaving the house I considered it a good day.
‘Gosh, sorry, obviously you are much more glamorous than me. Look at the state of me today, my hair looks wild and I’m about to stuff my face with fish and chips when you’ve just ordered a Caesar salad.’
‘Ah, Jo. As women, we never like ourselves, do we? I’m always trying to eat healthily to keep this trim figure because I have to really bloody work hard at it. Everyone thinks it’s easy and that I’m naturally like this, but not a chance. Every day at 6a.m. I spend half an hour on a running machine before traipsing into the office in London, getting in before my male colleagues rock up. And with a full face of make-up to ensure they take me seriously! As the only female director on our leadership board, I feel like I have to work twice as hard as them to be seen as equal. It’s bloody exhausting and I’m sick and tired of it. God, I’d do anything to be able to do what you’ve done. Wow! Why have I just told you my life story?’
We both laughed.
‘I love learning about other people,’ I said. ‘So I take it you don’t live around these parts then? What brings you to this part of the world?’
There was a huge sigh and I thought I could spot sadness behind those beautiful blue eyes.
‘I had an appointment down this way with a client last night, so I thought I’d give myself a day off and make a long weekend of it. Breathe in some beautiful sea air. Walk along the beach. Recharge my batteries. You know how it is.’
‘I do. After running around after my husband and our two girls for years, I thought it was just me who felt like that, but a recent trip to my doctor made me feel like I’m not on my own at all. Two months ago I started on HRT patches and I feel like a different woman.’
‘Maybe I need to go and do the same. I could do with feeling like a different woman. I’m not sure I like the one I feel like right now.’
We both stared out the window, lost in our separate thoughts, before turning back to face each other. When our eyes met, we both started laughing again. I loved how much this woman made me smile. Although she seemed sad, she had a really nice energy and I had a good feeling about her.
‘So what are you doing while you’re here?’
‘Christ knows. I don’t know anything about this area at all. Got any recommendations?’
‘Ha. You’re asking the wrong person. I literally moved in today . I know nothing.’
‘So you moved to a place that you’ve never been to before?’
‘Not quite.’ I explained our history with Sandpiper Shore and how I’d now ended up living there.
‘You’re honestly my hero, Jo.’
I could feel myself blushing. This woman had been kinder to me in the last half an hour than my husband had been to me for the last few years.
‘I don’t feel very heroic,’ I replied. ‘Tomorrow would have been my silver wedding anniversary. Instead of us being on a holiday in the Maldives, my husband will be in our Spanish villa with his fiancée, who is also my ex-best friend and I’ll be spending it a sad single divorcee alone in my ramshackle cottage with a big bottle of wine, probably drinking it from the bottle because I’m too tired to be arsed to get a glass. A cottage which appears to be not quite the glorious cottage by the sea that I remember from years ago but a crumbling old wreck. That will probably be confirmed by the builder who’s coming round tomorrow to take a look.’
A tear plopped onto my plate.
‘Gosh, sorry. I’m not sure where that came from.’
‘Don’t apologise. You think you’re a bad case. If it makes you feel any better, I’m a sad single spinster. When I finally retire from work, I’ll adopt lots of cats and push them around in a pram and the local kids will all laugh at me. At least you had a husband and a family that loves you.’ Michelle laughed. ‘We’re a right pair, aren’t we?’
Her eyes were sparkling and as she grinned I could tell that an idea was ruminating. She drummed her fingers on her chin and chewed the inside of her cheek before she spoke again.
‘How’s this for an idea? How do you feel about going out for dinner with me tomorrow night, Jo? We could find somewhere fancy and dress up and go and drink wine. From, like, proper glasses.’
The old Jo wouldn’t have dreamt of going out with a stranger. She was stuck in her ways, constantly being told that she was no fun, sensible and frumpy. But the new Jo was spontaneous, ready for adventure and planning to say yes to anything that was offered to her. What’s the worst that could happen? I thought. We might not get on, and there might be some awkward silences, but I didn’t think so. I had a really good feeling about this lady and despite only meeting her less than an hour ago, I felt like I’d known her for years. I’d opened up to her so much in that short time. We’d shared more than I’d shared with anyone for a very long time. What did I have to lose?
‘Why the hell not!’
‘Ah, it was the glasses part that sold it to you, wasn’t it?’
‘It’s a lovely idea, Michelle. I’d bloody love to. I accept your kind and fabulous invitation.’
‘OK, leave it to me. I’ll find us somewhere and let you know. Here, pass me your phone.’
I did as she requested and she tapped her number in then pressed the call button.
‘Perfect, we have each other’s numbers now. I’ll text you tomorrow and let you know what time.’
As I headed towards my car, I could feel myself smiling and something in my heart lifted a little. Michelle had said that, while she always found it difficult to make good friends and couldn’t say why, she felt that she’d just clicked with me. I felt exactly the same and grinned as I slammed the car door. Maybe making friends later in my life wasn’t going to be too hard after all.