Chapter 19
19
Just as I’d handed Seamus a bacon and egg sandwich on thick fresh crusty bread that had not long come out of the breadmaker, my phone rang.
‘Hi, Jo, it’s Emma here. So sorry to bother you so early, but I’m passing through the village this afternoon and I wondered if you might be in. Probably around 4p.m. No time like the present, hey?’
‘That would be perfect. Thanks, Emma. See you later.’
Seamus stood grinning at me.
‘What?’
‘You make me smile, Jo Jenkins.’
‘Because…?’
His smile disappeared and he became way more serious. He sighed and ran his thumb across his bottom lip.
I gulped, his eyes locked onto mine. My heart missed a beat. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen a man who wasn’t on my TV screen ever do something that could make me feel this way. I was not normally what you would call a swooner.
I looked away first, feeling my cheeks starting to get a little on the warm side.
‘You’ve hardly been here a week and you’re building up a little community of your own. There’s your new friend Michelle who you’ve been to the pub with, Kate next door, who told me she’d met you, Mary at the shop, who asked me how you were getting on when I popped in last night and Dad also seems to be a fan of yours, wanting to know how you’re settling in. Now you are chatty with someone else and arranging to meet up later. You’re such a people person. I wish I could be more like you. Dad tells me I’m a grumpy so and so and prefer my own company. Said it’s no wonder I’m on my own. Also, how do you get warm bread like this first thing in the morning? You’re amazing.’
Cooking was my thing and I knew I was good at it, so I very happily took that compliment. It also hadn’t gone unnoticed that he’d said he was single. It was nice to know that a bit of flirty banter wasn’t out of order, even though I had enough on my plate at the moment without thinking about the possibility of a relationship. I was far from ready from that.
‘Well, my breadmaker has a timer setting so I can put the ingredients in the night before and voila. At the push of a button, the next morning, you get fresh warm bread. Also,’ I added, ‘what your dad says is rubbish. You’re lovely to be around.’
‘Well, that’s very kind of you. Maybe you’re opening my eyes and making me realise that people aren’t so bad after all.’
We stood staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity until Theo barked, breaking the moment. Seamus put his hand into his pocket and threw a biscuit onto his makeshift bed by the window. He was lying in that patch of sun again and was properly making himself at home each time he came round.
‘So which bank did you rob, Jo Jenkins?’
‘No banks. I just sold my worldly possessions.’
I explained that I’d managed to sell my jewellery to Emma and he raised an eyebrow.
‘Does that not upset you?’
‘I thought long and hard about it before I did it, if that’s what you’re worried about. As money, it’s far more valuable to me. They’re just things and things that maybe once upon a time meant something to me, but now sit in a safe and never get worn. It’s better that I have some additional cash for the house. Once I have the money from selling the car too, then at least it means that I can get things moving in here.’
‘Well, it’s certainly a good way to get your hands on some cash. But I’d be gutted if I had to sell a Range Rover. It’s a gorgeous car.’
‘It’s way too big for me and I never wanted it in the first place. It’s a nightmare to park and I’d much rather have something not as flashy. It was more of a status symbol for my ex-husband. Also, I do wonder, with all of these presents he bought me, whether they were given because he was feeling guilty about something. I just can’t seem to get that out of my head.’
‘Surely that’s not the case.’
‘Who knows? Anyway, my mind is made up. It’s going today. So we have some money to spend on this place. Just not sure where to start first.’
‘Well, it’s Saturday tomorrow and I’m not working. How about when I come round in the morning after taking this one out,’ he ruffled Theo’s ears, clearly very fond of him, ‘we put a firm plan together. We can do some measuring up and working out costs. We could even pop into town to have a look round at some materials if we need to.’
‘Don’t you have anything better to do on a Saturday?’
He laughed. ‘Actually, no.’
‘You saddo!’
‘Oh, that’s harsh.’ He held his hand to his heart. ‘I’m wounded.’ He laughed.
‘I’m only saying it because I’m the same. I don’t have any plans either.’
‘Shall we be saddos together then? What do you think? Also, I’m being totally selfish here, you know.’
‘Because…’
‘Because I love spending someone else’s money.’
I swatted him with the tea towel I was holding and he laughed.
‘No, seriously, I live in a modern pad that needs literally nothing doing to it. God knows why, but it seemed like a good idea when I bought it. So to be tinkering and messing around in an old beauty like this is really ticking all those joy boxes for me. I’ll honestly be as happy as a pig in shit. Or should I say peg in shit.’
I laughed, remembering Dame Tessa and for some unknown reason a little shiver ran up my spine. I brushed it off and it disappeared as quickly as it appeared.
Laughing with Seamus made me feel lighter. I felt like I’d laughed more since I’d lived here than I’d laughed in years. Maybe I’d forgotten how to have fun. Even to be funny. When I was at school, my friends used to say that I was the funniest person they knew. I knew that I was quick-witted and razor-sharp when I was in my teens, but being married seemed to suppress my personality without me realising how much I’d changed. Michael wanted and needed a wife who was demure and well-behaved. Not someone who laughed so much she cried and blew snot bubbles from her nose. That was always my party piece, unlike my childhood best friend Beth, whose pièce de résistance was to do a fanny fart on request.
‘Do you really not have anything you’d rather be doing?’
‘It will be my pleasure. Unless you don’t want my help.’
‘Actually, I was thinking that maybe we could help each other out.’
Seamus chewed the inside of his cheek. Something I’d noticed him do on several occasions while he was pondering.
‘How so?’
‘You said the other day that you struggle to fit everything into your days and feel guilty after getting back from work that you don’t want to take Theo out for a walk when you are shattered. Maybe I could help you out and walk him from time to time or you could drop him round here, in exchange for some other favours in return.’
‘And what favours might they be, Jo Jenkins?’ He tipped his head to one side and those big brown eyes connected with mine again. It was like he could see right through to my soul. God! Sometimes I looked at him and didn’t think I’d ever seen a man quite so handsome. As heat began to rise in my body, I had to look away before I embarrassed myself. I could feel a flush coming on and I didn’t think this one was down to my age.
‘Jobs that I might need doing around the place, I meant.’ I turned away so he couldn’t see me blush.
‘Are you trying to take advantage of me?’
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and so busied myself brushing away imaginary crumbs from the dresser.
‘Ha. This fat, frumpy middle-aged woman wouldn’t even attempt to do something like that these days.’
‘It’s a shame you can’t see what I can see, Jo Jenkins. When I look at you, it’s far from that. And that’s not something I say lightly. Dad always says I’m the person who never gives a compliment.’
This time I did swing round to look at him and got lost in those eyes exactly like I knew I would. I gulped.
‘Well, in that case, thank you. It’s been a long time since I’ve been paid one. I’ll accept it gratefully. After nearly twenty-five years of marriage, I think my ex-husband forgot what a compliment was.’ I wondered when I’d stop thinking about Michael all the time and bringing him up in conversation. He’d been such a huge part of my life and I seemed to still talk about him such a lot.
‘He’s a fool.’
Seamus’s eyes locked onto mine again. I felt like I needed to be very careful with this man. I was feeling things that I didn’t think I should be. I needed to spend some time discovering myself and what I wanted and needed, not throwing myself at the first good-looking man who happened to be in my life.
This time, he was the first to look away.
‘Right, come on, Theo. Time to go. You do realise that you don’t live here, don’t you, pal?’
The mood had changed in a split second and I wondered whether I’d imagined what he’d said.
Theo reluctantly stood, stretching before he strolled over to Seamus, leaning into him bum first. I opened the door to see them out and could see Kate from next door tending to some flowers in the front grounds.
‘Morning, Seamus. Morning, Jo. What a lovely morning.’ She grinned widely.
Great, now she was thinking that I was a complete strumpet and that he’d been here all night.
‘Morning, Kate.’ Seamus raised a hand to wave at her before turning back round to me and leaning across to kiss my cheek. A stray hair had fallen from my scraped-up hair and he reached out and gently tucked it behind my ear. ‘See you soon, Jo Jenkins.’ When he reached the bottom of the path, he turned round, winked and shouted loudly, ‘Thanks for everything .’
I headed straight back inside, not sure where my head was. I wasn’t ready for a chat with Kate right now. I needed to gather my thoughts because at that very moment, my mind was in complete turmoil, and all I could think about was how I would be feeling if he really had spent the night.