Chapter 34
34
When we arrived in the foyer, we were immediately greeted by Becky, the wedding planner, who informed us, to my absolute sheer horror, that instead of having the family meal that we thought we were having, there had been a change of plans.
‘Mr Shaffer… err…’
‘Nakker!’
‘I beg your pardon!’ she exclaimed.
‘Shaffernakker. That’s how you say it.’
‘Oh, my apologies. It’s not a name I’ve come across before. Unusual, isn’t it?’
‘Not really. I have a whole family of them and you just say it as it looks when it’s written down.’ He sighed in exasperation. Seamus had explained to me once how he’d been picked on at school for his unusual surname and I knew that he was still quite prickly about it.
I jumped in, keen to change the atmosphere.
‘What’s happening now then?’ I asked.
‘Boys in the bar, girls in the orangery. Can’t have the bride and groom spending the night before the wedding together now, can we? Don’t want bad luck.’
‘Oh, OK. I thought all that tradition had gone out of the window.’ I patted my handbag, safe in the fact that some traditions were still in place, knowing that I could quite happily pass on my little gift to my daughter shortly. But then very quickly my shoulders slumped at the thought of not having Seamus by my side for that little bit of a comfort blanket. And then at the other thought of him being thrown to the lions, in with a group of men he’d never met before. Then the thought of being with all the girls meant that I’d have to be in close proximity to Claudia. A groan escaped my lips involuntarily which seemed to come from the pit of my stomach.
I turned to him. ‘Will you be OK?’
‘Of course I will. Will you?’
My faltering smile showed just how insecure I was feeling. However, as a mother and a wife, I’d often had to do things that I didn’t want to do. So if I’d done it before, I could do it again. I pulled my shoulders back and took a huge breath, trying to fill my lungs with positivity.
‘Only one way to find out.’
He took a step towards me and held both of my shoulders firmly.
‘You have absolutely got this, Jo Jenkins! Just have a little bit of the faith I have in you. You’re amazing and you just need to go and sock it to them. Don’t let anyone get the better of you. You are the bride’s mother. You grew her inside your body. You literally made her. And no one can take that away from you. Go get the fuckers!’
He winked and a smile spread across my face. He was great at a pep talk, I’d give him that. He leant across and kissed me gently on the cheek and I walked away feeling like I could take on the world.
That wavered slightly when I realised that I was the last to arrive and that the only seat left was next to Claudia, who was sitting next to Lucy, with my own mother on Lucy’s other side. But I could do this. This weekend wasn’t about me. It was about my daughter and her wedding and I just had to suck it up.
Claudia patted the seat next to her.
‘I’ve saved you a seat, Jo. Mum and Step-Mum together.’
God! The horror.
‘Evening, everyone,’ I said to the gathered group. ‘This looks like it’s going to be a whole lot of fun.’
I just wished I was feeling on the inside what I was hopefully portraying on the outside. I wasn’t sure where this whoosh of inner strength came from but the next words escaped my mouth before my brain engaged.
‘Thanks, Claudia, be a love and swap seats, please. As mother of the bride I am definitely going to be sitting next to my daughter.’
The room fell totally silent and for a moment, when we locked eyes, I could see her nostrils flaring while she decided what to do. I’d known her long enough to know what all her little signs of stress were. I didn’t want to cause trouble, but what Seamus had said about me being Lucy’s mother was absolutely correct. Lucy was my daughter and I would sit next to her. I’d been in Claudia’s shadow now for long enough and for this weekend, this was my time.
She plastered a smile across her face.
‘God, yes, of course. Sorry, Jo. Don’t know what I was thinking then. Here you go.’
She moved over into the next seat and I had to shuffle past her. I reached across and kissed Lucy’s cheek, and noticed that she was looking at me nervously. I smiled and patted her arm, turning to Claudia.
‘Thank you.’ My voice came out in a whisper, the words almost catching in my throat as I remembered our very great friendship and what fun we’d had over the years. I nearly crumbled but then I recalled the sheer betrayal I felt when I’d discovered the truth about their affair. The confidence I’d had a moment ago diminished to hardly anything and I smoothed down the invisible creases in my dress, gathering myself together.
‘No problem, Jo. Here, let me pour you a glass of Prosecco. I think we could both do with one, don’t you?’ Claudia was smiling at me and she seemed absolutely genuine. Maybe it even was. I had been thinking of myself and how hurt I had been for so long that I hadn’t even given a second thought for how she might be feeling. This might be awkward for her too. I’d hated her for so long from afar that I’d forgotten that she’d actually been my best friend once. Someone that I really liked. Maybe the evening wouldn’t be so bad after all.