Chapter 51
51
The Net Loft, St Aidan
South poles and stormy weather
Friday
W hen I was actively staying away from Miles we barely coincided, but since we slept together, we’re drawn to each other like magnets. We walk together on the beach, do our visits to the shops at the same time, and lounge on the sofa with our legs entwined. After months of keeping my hands off, now I can touch, I can’t let go. When I’m with him I want to take him to bed and annihilate him. When I’m without him I ache to see him again.
For someone like me, who’s used to drifting through life, it’s all-engulfing. The sex is the kind of explosive that makes me see stars and immediately want to do it again. The man simply turning up makes my knees give way. I have so much adrenalin coursing around my body, I feel shaky to the point of throwing up. When I’ve always been able to take or leave guys in the past, the alarm bells are deafening, but I can’t think of stopping.
If Scarlett were ringing every day, I’d have to dodge her calls rather than admit any of this, but she’s gone strangely silent.
I told her about Tate’s valuer coming when she rang on Sunday afternoon and the sound she made was a lot like that time when we were kids when an ember landed in a box of fireworks on bonfire night and they all went off together. Then she said, ‘My one-time partner is a prize arsehole. I will deal with this.’ Then she ended the call and that was the last I’ve heard.
By Friday, when I close the shop at half past six and walk back to the cottage with Fudge, as most of St Aidan have seen me with my arm draped around Miles this week, I decide it’s time to tell Scarlett the news before she accidentally hears it from anyone else.
I fire down two cans of full-sugar vanilla cola, find a comfy place on the dunes to sit for a moment and call her.
She picks up fast and launches. ‘Betty, what a surprise. I ran into Tate, and now I’m desperate to have sex with him. I haven’t felt like that for years.’
‘Shit, Scarlett, talk about bad timing!’
‘I went to tackle him about the surveyor. Kiera says it’s a normal expression of emotional transfer, and if I do enough affirmations, it’ll go away.’
I’m struggling to keep up. ‘I thought she was a lawyer?’
‘She is. Apparently divorce work is seventy percent counselling.’ Scarlett laughs. ‘My trouble is, when I should be seeing the decree absolute, all I can visualise is ex-sex.’
I give a cough. ‘Well, my news is… Miles and I are sleeping together.’
Scarlett gives a shout. ‘Tate thought you were– he said he talked to Miles on Zoom, and he couldn’t stop smiling.’ She pauses. ‘Are you smiling too?’
I try to sum up. ‘It’s amazing, but awful. I feel sick when I see him and dizzy when I don’t. And before you ask, I’m not pregnant, because it only happened a few days ago.’
Scarlett’s straight back with her reply. ‘You’re in love.’
‘I’m what? ’
Her voice is soft. ‘That’s what it feels like when you truly fall for someone. It’s unmistakable.’
‘I can’t be. If it’s that, I’ll have to stop it. Immediately.’
Scarlett’s talking quietly. ‘It happens to everyone in the end, sweetie.’ She pauses. ‘Don’t think he’s too fancy and ostentatious for you, because he’s really not. He has money, and the confidence that goes with it, but beyond that he’s very down to earth.’
‘I haven’t thought about that for weeks.’
Scarlett laughs. ‘Of course you haven’t. Love is blind, that’s why they talk about chemistry. For the first few months the dopamine and adrenalin alter your perception and you won’t see any negatives at all. You’ll be completely out of control, and you’ll lose the ability to think critically.’
My whole body freezes. After what happened with Mason, I need to be fully aware at all times. Every atom of my being tells me I’m safe with Miles, but if my brain is fogged by chemicals I can’t rely on any of it. I might be about to replay the worst mistake of my life.
‘I need to stop this now.’
‘You’ve always been strangely reluctant to let go of your childhood. Now might be the time.’ Scarlett sounds frustrated.
I protest. ‘That’s not fair. Lots of people like fairy dresses.’
Her voice rises. ‘You’re twenty-eight, Betty, grown up things are going to happen. You’ve managed to get four retail outlets and a brand that’s put Miles back in the game in two and a half months. However much you protest, you’re already adulting.’
I let out a groan. ‘How do you know about the other shops?’
She gives a sharp intake of breath. ‘Tate may have mentioned. If you can handle big stuff like that, being head-over-heels will be like falling off a log.’
I have more important things to do than sit on the beach arguing with Scarlett. ‘It’s out of the question. I can’t be in love! Thanks for telling me, I’ll deal with it straight away.’
I know what I have to do. I end the call, and two minutes later I’m in the tranquillity zone, stuffing my clothes and laptop into a rucksack.
When I arrive upstairs at the Net Loft I throw my bag on the bed, take Fudge’s lead off, then I go out onto the back terrace and phone Scarlett.
‘Two calls in as many hours!’
I’ve decided what I have to say, and I launch. ‘You need to sort yourself out, Scarlett. Stop messing Tate around. Just decide what you want to do with the cottage and your relationship, and tell him. Then hope to hell you’re lucky enough to get it.’
There’s a gasp, then a gap.
I carry on before I lose my nerve. ‘I won’t be staying at the cottage again until Miles leaves. I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done for me, but this once I can’t do what you want. I have to do what’s good for me .’
I hear her reel, then she gives a cough. ‘Well done with that, it’s great practice for me not always getting my own way.’ She pauses for a second. ‘I heard from Kiera. That valuation was because Miles is offering to buy the cottage.’
I’m caught off guard again. ‘Why would he do that?’
Scarlett sniffs. ‘I was hoping you could tell me that.’
As there’s nothing more to say, we end the call together.