Chapter Twenty-Seven
TALLY
J essa and I carefully climbed the stairs to the cupola of Jake’s house. The spiral staircase made it even more magical to me. Ellie and Penny were looking to the north, pointing out buildings they could see in the distance. Orchard Lane was on one of the high points in town, so there was a stellar view of Abbottsville from up there.
“This is so cool.” Ellie glanced over her shoulder at us. “Remember when we used to imagine living here and playing in this very spot?”
“Yeah.” I still wasn’t over what happened earlier, but I appreciated them coming over to make things right.
“Let’s sit.” Ellie took a seat on the floor, and the rest of us followed and sat in a circle—Ellie, Jessa, Penny, and me, in that order. “Talk to us, Tally.”
“I thought the four of us were spending the day together like we talked about. And then the guys were there with you. ”
“I’m so sorry, Tal,” Ellie said.
“I guess we didn’t think it would be a big deal to bring the guys to lunch,” Penny said. “It was inconsiderate of us, and we’re so sorry.”
Usually, I would’ve waved them off and said I was fine, but I wasn’t doing that this time.
“I was really looking forward to the four of us being together, like old times. I thought that’s what today would be. And I needed you guys. So much has been going on lately, so many things I could’ve used advice on, and you haven’t been there for me.”
“I asked if you wanted to FaceTime and talk when you sent us the 911, and you said you were okay. You told me not to worry about it,” Ellie said.
“I was mad. Only Jessa replied that night. And you were both too busy the next day. I felt like whenever you guys have had stuff happening in your lives, we’re all there for you in a second, but when it was finally my turn, I was all alone.”
“Oh, Tally. I’m so sorry.” Ellie reached over and squeezed my hand. “You’re not alone.”
“I’m sorry, Tal,” Penny said.
“It’s hard with both of you moving on. Things have changed so fast, and I hate that sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy you’ve both found someone to spend your life with, but I guess it’s not realistic to think you can be there for us like you used to when you have a partner in life now.”
“We can still be there for each other.” Penny took my other hand. “Lucas understands the bond that we have.”
“So does Cooper,” Ellie said.
“We’ve barely had lunch together lately,” I said. “We used to make that a priority, no matter what. ”
“The friendship we have, it’s forever,” Penny said. “Don’t ever doubt that. Ellie and I may be moving into a different stage of our lives, but that doesn’t mean we won’t make time for this. We’ll try harder.”
“Absolutely,” Ellie agreed.
“But you have to be open and honest with us, Tal,” Penny said. “I know that’s hard for you, but we can’t read your mind.”
“Yeah, when you send a 911 and then tell us you’re okay and not to worry about it, that’s confusing,” Ellie said. “I didn’t know if I should FaceTime you anyway or just let it go. I’m really sorry I didn’t.”
I knew they were right. “I guess I said that because I was trying to avoid any kind of conflict. And I didn’t know how to tell you how hurt I was that you were too busy to help me.”
“I’m so sorry.” Penny pulled me into her side. “I should’ve called you right away that morning instead of putting you off. Planning a wedding is so much work, and it’s taken all of my attention lately.”
“I know.” I leaned my head sideways against hers. “And I’m sorry for not communicating better.”
It felt good to be there with them and clear the air between us.
“We love you, Tally.” Ellie wiped a tear away. “We never want you to feel alone.”
Tears stung my eyes. “I love you guys too. I needed to hear all of this, so thank you.”
Ellie got up on her knees. “Group hug!”
We did the same and wrapped our arms around each other.
“We may not be the Solo Sisters anymore, but we’ll always be sisters,” Ellie said .
Jessa grunted as we let go and sat down again. I knew it was because of Ellie’s comment about our group nickname.
“Something to say, Jessa?” Penny eyed her.
“I’m with Tally. I don’t like all this change.”
“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” I asked.
She shrugged.
“What’s going on tomorrow?” Ellie asked.
“Dad’s new girlfriend is coming to Christmas,” Jessa answered.
Ellie’s mouth fell open. “Have you met her before?”
“Nope.”
“Maybe this time he’s got a good one.”
“She must be special if he’s having her spend the holiday with your family,” I said.
“I’m not holding my breath for that. His relationships usually don’t last. He has horrible taste in women.”
“Maybe he never met the right one until now.” Ellie’s hopeless romantic shined through.
“Or maybe she’ll turn out to be some kind of crazy like all the others,” Jessa replied.
“Always the optimist,” Penny said with a chuckle.
“I think my family is doomed when it comes to love.”
Ellie gasped. “Why would you say such a thing?”
“I mean, look at our track record. Dad’s long line of loony girlfriends, Cody the jerk, Wyatt and Erica.”
“Wait, what happened with Wyatt and Erica?” Ellie asked.
“They split up. She wants a divorce.”
“What?” Ellie looked devastated. “They seemed so happy.”
“Like I said … doomed.”
“It’ s the jinx!” Penny cried, referring back to our former marriage pact that she thought had jinxed us all.
“Oh, not this again,” Ellie said.
We all laughed, which lightened the serious vibe we’d had going on.
“Relationships are hard,” I said.
“Jake seems really nice, Tally,” Ellie said. “And the girls are so adorable.”
“I know.”
Penny reached over and squeezed my hand. “Tell us what’s going on.”
I filled them in on everything that had happened since the night of the singles group Christmas party.
“Wow! We missed a lot.” Penny’s eyes were wide.
“I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there and going on a couple dates,” Ellie said. “You’re like a whole new Tally.”
I huffed. “Not even close. I’m the same shy, awkward girl I ever was. I’m just a shy, awkward girl who’s kissed a couple guys.”
“I’ve never understood what the big deal is about kissing,” Jessa said. “It’s not even fun.”
The rest of us exchanged looks.
“That’s because you kissed the wrong person,” Ellie said. “When it’s the right person, you’ll know, and you’ll want to kiss them all the time.”
I lowered my head into my hands, and Penny patted my back.
“I want to kiss Jake all the time.” I wanted to cry. “He says it’s too big of a risk to take, that he can’t take a chance of it not working out and having someone else ripped from his daughters’ lives again. ”
“It sounds like he’s thought a lot about this and is being very mindful of what he’s doing and saying. I’m sure he doesn’t want to hurt you or his girls,” Penny said.
“I get that, and I admire it, but at the same time, I want him not to be the responsible dad for once.”
“Tally, this is so unlike you,” Ellie said. “I would’ve thought you’d want that in a man.”
“I do. But then I think about that kiss, and I just want him to forget about the risks and come and get me.”
Penny and Ellie laughed. Not surprisingly, Jessa shook her head.
“I feel stuck right now, and I need you guys to tell me what to do.”
“Talk to us,” Ellie said.
“As much as I love the job and these girls, I’m not sure I can stay on here.”
“Is it that hard?”
“It is. My mom said I needed to stay because my job is to take care of the girls and they need me.”
“That’s true.”
“But being around Jake is difficult. I can’t just forget how I feel about him.”
“Maybe you should,” Jessa said. “You said it yourself. This is a job. Sometimes, we have to set aside personal feelings when we don’t want to.”
“I know. But I’m not like you, Jessa. It’s not that easy for me.”
She scowled. “And it’s easy for me because, what, I’m so cold and heartless?”
“I’m saying you’re stronger than I am when it comes to feelings. You don’t let things get to you. ”
“Just because I don’t cry all the time like you three doesn’t mean I don’t get my feelings hurt. But I learned early to suck it up and move on. If I didn’t, I might not have survived.”
I hadn’t meant to insult Jessa in any way. I would never call her cold and heartless, but I wondered if that was how she saw herself to use those words. I’d seen the loving side of Jessa plenty of times. But she’d had a rough childhood without her mom, and she had her own ways of dealing with that.
“I wish I could do that, but my heart has always been sensitive, and I feel like it’s worse now. I’m falling in love with Jake, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Ellie and Penny wrapped me up in a hug, and Jessa laid her hand on the top of my head.
“Hey up there,” Jake’s voice called from downstairs. “We’re leaving now, but you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”
“We’ll come down in a minute,” I replied.
“Let’s go to your place and talk some more,” Penny suggested.
I grinned. “That would be great.”
We stood and headed down the stairs one at a time. I let them all go before me.
Jake held his hand out to each of the girls to help them off the bottom of the steep steps.
When I neared the bottom, my eyes met his, and I reached for his hand, only to miss a step and tumble straight into his strong arms. He held me close and set me on solid ground, his arms staying around me longer than necessary.
“Are you okay?” His voice was quiet, just for me .
I stood tall and collected myself. “Thanks for being so kind to my friends.”
“No problem. I hope you worked everything out with them.”
“I did. We’re never mad at each other for very long.”
“Never let the sun go down on your anger, right?”
I followed him down the hallway, along behind my friends. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw all three of his girls sitting on the couch in the living room, looking adorable in festive Christmas dresses with cute curls and braids. They got up when Jake and I walked into the room.
“You girls look so beautiful,” I told them.
“Are you coming with us?” Ava asked.
“Not this time. I have plans with my friends.”
“They can come too,” Nora said.
“We can’t, but thank you for asking.” I gave each of them a hug. “Happy Christmas Eve.”
“Happy Christmas Eve,” Nora and Ava repeated back.
“Happy Chwismus Eve,” Piper said.
“Christ-mas Eve, Piper,” Nora corrected her, slowly saying each syllable.
Piper said the words exactly the way she had before, and Nora rolled her eyes.
Jake tapped the tip of Nora’s nose, gaining him a smile. “Come on, girls.”
He picked Piper up on his hip, Ava grabbed his free hand, and Nora held onto the side of his coat as they walked toward the back of the house on their way to the garage.
“You ladies have fun,” he said over his shoulder.
“You too,” I said, and my friends all thanked him .
As soon as he was out of earshot, Penny shook her head. “Whoo! I see your dilemma. There’s something about a man taking care of his kids that is extra hot.”
I smacked her arm. “You’re an engaged woman.”
“I can be madly in love with my fiancé and still appreciate an attractive man.” She patted me on the arm in return. “I feel for ya, girl.”