Chapter Twenty-Eight
JAKE
T he church service was lovely, with Christmas carols and the story of Jesus’ birth, and ended with everyone singing “Silent Night” by candlelight. I had to pay extra attention to the girls during that part so they wouldn’t drip wax on themselves or each other. I failed horribly, and before the end of the song, I had to blow out their candles and leave early because Ava was crying that her hand got burned, Nora was complaining that wax from Ava’s candle dripped on her dress, and Piper was whiny because I didn’t let her have a candle of her own.
On our way home, I drove around the streets of town to look at Christmas lights, which seemed to entertain the girls and take their minds off the candle drama. My mind wandered back to what I’d overheard earlier between Natalia and her friends. She said she was falling in love with me. I couldn’t describe how good it felt to hear that. And despite all the concerns I had, I couldn’t deny I felt the same about her.
I picked up a pizza for dinner, took out the fancy tableware, and set the dining room table.
“Can we keep our pretty dresses on?” Ava asked.
I almost said no, but it was Christmas Eve. Why not?
“Okay, but go wash your hands.”
They cheered as they ran off to the bathroom, and I grinned as I filled four champagne glasses with sparkling apple cider. I wanted to make this Christmas extra special for them.
I washed my hands in the kitchen sink and noticed a light on in the guest house. Her friends’ cars were gone when we arrived home, and I had wondered if Natalia had gone with them, but I was happy to see her through her windows as she walked into the living room and sat down with a book.
While the girls ate their pizza and chattered, my mind was still on the beautiful girl in my guest house. The girl I could no longer deny having feelings for. I’d pushed her away and hurt her, and I wished there was a way to let her know how sorry I was.
“I’m so fancy.” Ava picked up her champagne glass and took a sip of her sparkling cider, which made her giggle. “The fizz tickles my nose.”
Piper giggled at her sister, which caused her to spill some of hers on her dress. “Oh, noooo.”
“It’s okay, Pipes. We can clean it.”
She gripped her glass again and took a slower sip this time.
“Do we have cookies for Santa, Daddy?” Ava asked .
“I think so.” I stood and went to the counter. The cookie jar was empty. No more of the delicious cookies Natalia and the girls had made. So I opened the cupboard and found a package of Oreos.
“Those aren’t Christmas cookies?” Ava whined.
“Santa likes Oreos,” I said. “Especially with milk.”
“You’re just saying that because we don’t have any other cookies,” Nora said.
Smart girl.
“How come we get gifts on Jesus’s birthday?” Ava asked.
I was astonished by the questions that came out of my girls’ mouths sometimes.
“Well, the most important reason is that God gave us the best gift ever when he gave us his son, Jesus, so we give gifts to each other and those in need to remember God’s gift to us.”
“And the wise men gave Jesus gifts,” Nora added.
“That’s right. The wise men brought gifts to Jesus too. Christmas is the season of giving and sharing and love.”
“I love Christmas,” Ava beamed. “I wish everyone gave each other gifts all year long.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice?” I leaned over and kissed the top of her head.
“Tally’s birthday is on Christmas,” Nora said.
“It is?” I was taken aback at first, but then I remembered reading that on her resumé.
“She told us so. She never even had a birthday party growing up. She got all her birthday presents and Christmas presents on the same day.”
“That’s not fair.” Ava stuck out her bottom lip.
“You’re right.” A sudden idea burst into my brain. “ And I think we need to do something about that, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Ava replied.
“We should buy her a ton of presents for all the birthday parties she missed,” Nora said.
“We don’t have the time or money to do all that, but …” I held up a finger. “Give me two seconds.”
I went into the playroom and grabbed some colored paper, crayons, and washable markers, and returned to the dining room table.
“Let’s make Tally some birthday cards.”
The girls cheered, pushed their empty pizza plates aside, and got to work.
“What do you say we have a little surprise party for Tally tonight?” I suggested.
“A party?” Nora asked.
“Yay!” Ava started clapping, and Piper joined in.
“Can her friends come over?” Nora asked.
“Just us and Tally this time.”
“I like her friends. They’re nice and pretty.”
“Yes, they are.”
“I like them too,” Ava said. “I want red hair.”
I chuckled. “Your hair is perfect as it is.”
I watched them pick out different colored paper and start drawing and coloring.
“How do you spell Tally?” Ava asked.
“T-A-L-L-Y,” Nora told her before I had a chance.
“My spelling bee winner,” I said proudly.
“Second place,” she reminded me.
“You’re always first place to me.”
She smiled and went back to her creation, and I searched the cupboards for a cake mix, which we didn’t have. I had no idea how to make a cake from scratch. And there was no way I was giving her Oreos for her birthday. So, when the card-making had finished, we piled into the car and took a quick trip to the grocery store to get a cake. The girls also picked out some balloons, ribbons, streamers, birthday plates, and napkins.
Back home, they set the kitchen table and went around the room, taping streamers to everything in sight while I blew up the balloons. I tied them off with ribbons and hung them from the backs of the chairs, the cupboard handles, and the ceiling lights.
The girls were wide-eyed and giggly.
“Boons!” Piper cried as she held her little fingers up to grab at them.
“Bal-loons,” Nora corrected her.
“Buh-woons,” she said in her adorable little voice.
“Tally will love our decorations,” Ava said.
“I hope so.” I couldn’t help but smile.
I had the girls stand beside the table, and I turned the lights off, which made them all scream and laugh.
“I’m going to get Tally, and when we come inside, I’ll turn on the lights, and I want you to yell ‘Surprise!’ Got it?”
“We’ve got it, Daddy,” Nora said.
“Okay. I’ll be right back.” I could hear their giggles as I walked outside and headed to the guest house.
Natalia saw me through the window and came to the door before I had a chance to knock.
“Hi.” She looked happier than earlier, with a soft blush to her cheeks.
“Hi. Are you busy?”
“Not really.”
“Could you come to the house with me for a minute? I need your help with something. ”
“Sure.” She set her book down, and we walked to the house together.
I opened the door, and the moment she stepped inside, I flipped on the lights, and Nora yelled, “Surprise!” Then two more little voices said “Surprise!” from under the table, and they came crawling out toward us.
I laughed, but Natalia wasn’t laughing. One hand was over her heart, and her mouth had fallen open as she took in the room with wide eyes.
“Happy birthday,” I said.
Her eyes turned to meet mine. “You threw me a birthday party?”
“We did.”
Before I knew it, she had wrapped her arms around me, burying her face in my chest. I hugged her close, and it felt so good.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome.” I gave her a tight squeeze before letting go.
“Look at your balloons,” Ava said as she bounced up and down. “And Daddy got you a cake.”
“I see that. It’s so beautiful. All of it.” She stepped closer to the table to check out the cake and picked up one of the cards. “You made me cards?”
“This one’s mine.” Nora pointed to hers with a picture of a cake and balloons on the front.
“It’s beautiful, Nora. Thank you.”
“Read what I wrote inside.”
Natalia picked up the card and read aloud. “Happy birthday, Tally. You’re the best nanny ever because you talk to me and you’re nice and pretty and you got me dance lessons. Love, your friend, Nora. ”
She walked around the table and bent down to hug Nora, who smiled brightly as she hugged her back.
“I love it.”
“Read mine! Read mine!” Ava cried.
She had drawn a picture of a girl on the front and written Tally’s name at the top.
“Is this me?” Natalia asked as she crouched down beside her.
Ava nodded proudly.
“It looks just like me.” Natalia smiled at Ava, then winked up at me, and I thought my heart might burst with happiness at this sweet moment.
Piper’s card was scribbles and a circle with lines across it.
“It’s Joe,” she announced as she held her stuffed kangaroo up in the air.
“It’s the best picture of Joe I’ve ever seen.”
Piper wrapped her little arms around Natalia’s neck, and she hugged her back then stood up.
I lit the candles on the cake, and we sang “Happy Birthday.” The candlelight glinted off the tears in her eyes.
“This is so sweet of you.”
“Make a wish! Make a wish!” the girls declared gleefully.
Natalia’s gaze traveled from girl to girl and landed on me, and my heart skipped a beat. She closed her eyes and blew out all the candles, and we clapped and cheered for her.
“What did you wish?” Nora asked.
“If I tell, it won’t come true.” Natalia gave her a wink.
“Oh, yeah. ”
I cut the cake, and we sat down together and had a piece. I hoped it was the best little birthday party she could’ve ever wanted.
“Alright, girls,” I announced. “It’s time to get ready for bed.”
They grumbled and groaned.
“If you don’t go to sleep, Santa won’t come.”
“Santa!” the three of them practically screamed it.
“Go get changed and brush your teeth, and I’ll come up in a few minutes to tuck you in.”
They raced away, and Natalia and I laughed.
She got up and began clearing the plates, and I immediately stood and snatched them from her.
“Hey, it’s your birthday party. You are not cleaning up.”
“I can’t believe you did this for me.”
The pull between us was so strong, and I stepped closer and took her hands in mine. “Happy birthday.”
Our eyes met, and I’d never wanted to kiss her more. I leaned toward her, and her lips parted as her eyelids slid closed.
“Daddy!”
We jumped apart as Ava came barreling into the room.
“Don’t forget the cookies for Santa.”
“I won’t. I’ll put them out.”
“And carrots for the reindeers?” she asked.
“And carrots for the reindeer.”
“Don’t forget.”
“I won’t.”
She turned and marched toward the stairs, and I caught Natalia watching me as I emptied a bag of Oreos onto a small plate .
“Santa likes Oreos.” I rubbed my stomach.
She chuckled as she went to the cupboard, grabbed a glass, and filled it with milk while I grabbed a few baby carrots.
I walked into the living room and set the small plate of cookies and carrots and the glass of milk on the side table near the Christmas tree.
I felt Natalia’s presence behind me and turned to face her. The room was aglow from the lights on the tree, and she looked stunning standing beside it. If ever there was a perfect moment to kiss a woman, this was it.
The girls’ voices carried down the stairs.
“I should go get them to bed.”
“Yeah.”
We stared at each other for a few more beats.
“Then I have to stay up until they’re asleep to put the presents out,” I said quietly.
“Do you need some help with that?” she asked. “I can come back over later.”
“Sure.” There was no way I would deny myself more time with her.
A couple hours later, when I was sure the girls were asleep, I texted Natalia to come over. She quietly entered the house and met me at the basement stairs, where I handed her a couple bags of smaller gifts and a few larger boxes .
We did our best to stay as quiet as possible as we moved through the house and arranged the gifts around the tree.
I stole glances at her every once in a while. This was what it would be like if she was mine and we were putting out the presents we’d bought the girls together.
When we finished, I sat on the couch, and she joined me.
“Phew!” she said quietly. “That’s a lot of presents.”
“I know. I went a little overboard this year. I figured a few more wouldn’t hurt since Kate let them down. She didn’t even send any presents ahead. Although, I’m pretty sure Marjorie and George will tell the girls some of the gifts they bought them are from their mom just to make themselves feel better or to save face for their daughter.”
“That makes me so sad for them.”
The room grew quiet for several seconds.
“Your friends are really nice,” I said.
“They are. They’re great. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”
“They liked the house, huh?”
“They did. So do I.”
“Ellie said you used to dream about being up in the cupola like Rapunzel and having a prince come rescue you.”
Her mouth fell open, and she covered her face with her hands. “I can’t believe she told you that.” Her words were muffled.
“It’s endearing.”
She lowered her hands. “Or incredibly embarrassing.”
“Hey, I’ll rescue you from the tower any time. ”
“Oh my gosh.” She let out a little laugh, which warmed my heart.
“I also overheard you talking.”
Her eyes widened a smidge.
“I didn’t mean to, but I heard you tell them … that you’re falling in love with me.”
She lowered her head and covered her face again as if she could hide, and I took hold of one of her hands and gently pried it away. Still, she looked down at her lap.
“Hey, look at me.”
Her eyes slowly lifted to mine.
“Don’t be embarrassed about how you feel about me. I was happy when I heard that.”
“You were?” she asked.
“Yes.” This was it. I was going for it against my better judgment. “Because I feel the same way about you.”
“You do?” Her voice was shaky.
I nodded. “And it scares me. I’ve spent my career analyzing risk, and my brain tells me this is a bad idea. To take this chance and risk all of us getting hurt. But my heart has been drawn to you from the moment I saw you, and I can’t deny my feelings for you anymore.”
“Really?” A slow smile spread across her face.
“But I worry that we’ll try this and something will happen to ruin it. What if I fail again? What if I can’t make you happy?”
“That’s highly unlikely. And it wasn’t your choice to break up your marriage. You tried, but she made the choice. That’s not failure.”
“It feels like failure.” I frowned .
She reached over and took my hand. “Maybe you shouldn’t go into it automatically thinking it will fail, but instead think I could be the best thing that ever happened to you.”
I grinned at her. “The best, huh?”
“The best.” My breath caught at the loving way she was looking at me.
“I’ve tried so hard not to give in to my feelings, but I’m tired of fighting this. I don’t think I can stay away from you any longer.”
“Jake.” Her voice was soft as I slid one arm around her waist and held her cheek with the other.
A tear fell down her cheek, and I brushed it away. And then I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers, and she sighed, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. Her lips were so soft against mine, and I brought her closer and buried my fingers in her hair as our lips moved in perfect sync with each other.
As our kisses deepened, I couldn’t seem to get close enough, and she must have felt the same because she shifted forward, and I reclined against the couch cushion until her body rested against mine. I wanted to lay her down on this couch, but I knew I needed to go slow with her. She had little to no experience, and I didn’t want to push her in any way. But every nerve in my body lit up when she was near. She soon found her way onto my lap, and I knew I needed to tap the brakes. I forced myself to slow our kisses, but that did nothing but heighten every sensation and kick our level of passion up a few notches.
Her fingertips traveled over my side, across my stomach, up my chest, and whispered along the skin of my neck. Kissing her was intoxicating, and my palm skimmed down her side and over the curve of her hip. She shivered under my touch, so I stopped, sat up, and gently unwound her arms from around me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck. “Nothing at all.”
“Then why are you stopping?”
“Because we need to.” I pushed the hair back from her face and gently kissed her cheek, then her nose, then her lips.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No, and that’s exactly why we need to stop. You’re perfect, and I don’t want to move too fast. We need to take this slow.”
“Okay.” She climbed off of my lap and straightened her shirt. Her cheeks were red, and she looked away shyly.
I tilted her chin toward me with my index finger. “Hey. Don’t be shy with me. You can tell me exactly how you’re feeling.”
A shy grin spread across her face. “I’ve never felt like that with anyone before. You bring these feelings out of me that I’ve never known. And I never want them to stop.”
Such a young and innocent perspective. Maybe that was exactly what I needed in my life. Some days, I already felt like I was becoming an old fogey.
“I know how you feel. But let’s ease into this instead of jumping. Starting with giving me some time before I tell the girls. I think it needs to be just us for a little while before we give them the news.”
“In case it doesn’t work out,” she said flatly.
I was surprised at how well she knew the path of my thoughts. I hated to admit it, but that’s exactly what I’d been thinking.