Chapter 17 #2
“Cade, I don’t know what I’m doing. I used to be a clinical trials coordinator for a pharmaceutical company.
I worked a predictable job, knew when and how to show up, and slept seven to nine hours at night.
Then, one day, my twin sister died. A newborn landed in my lap.
A newborn whom I loved more fiercely than logic can explain.
I couldn’t work and care for Lily, and my parents don’t want to acknowledge Lily because they had cut Naomi off.
So . . . I buried my sister alone, quit my job, dealt with the Millers on my own, gave up my lease, pleaded for help from Marsha, learned that Grandpa’s place was up for grabs, and . . .”
She released her hair, spread her hands in front of her, as if to say, here we are. I couldn’t take the image of her standing alone, at her sister’s graveside, with Lily in her arms. My throat tightened to the point of pain.
Lost, she continued.
“If Lily’s paternal grandparents find out I’m living in a dilapidated ranch house with animals in the walls . . .”
Her voice curled into a low sob, and her body curled with it. The reddened tip of her nose, mussed hair, and watery eyes formed a little ball on the bathroom floor. A primal protectiveness surged from the crown of my head to the tip of my boots.
Aw, hell no.
Not on my watch.
I reached out and set a hand on her bent knee. The smallest poof of dust arose when I touched her. She dragged her eyes to mine. I’d never seen a vulnerability so crystal clear.
“Lily belongs with you, Noelle. There’s no doubt about that. I’ve seen the two of you together. She knows your voice, she loves you, and you take care of her as if you carried her for nine months. Let’s take the idea of giving Lily over to the Millers off the table entirely.”
A tear tracked down her cheeks. She nodded, clearly eager for the affirmation.
“Second, you’re not alone. Your parents may have . . . done whatever they did . . . but they don’t matter. You’re here at Iron Creek Ranch, and you have a home with us. You’re not going anywhere, got it?”
Her wobbling whisper almost broke. “Why do you care, Cade? You don’t owe us anything.”
So many replies arose with that question, but I couldn’t give them to her.
Not yet. When she was at her most vulnerable, I couldn’t tell her that she affected me unlike any human ever had.
That I was hopelessly lost in her spells of loyal, fierce, and compassionate acts.
That intelligence shone from her jewel-like eyes, and her beauty bound me up in more ways than one.
She deserved to know, but not at this moment.
“Because Lily is the cutest damn baby I’ve ever seen.” Her eyes widened with a flash of amusement when I cussed in front of her, despite all attempts to hold the Cowboy Code. “And this is your home, too. Your grandpa would have taken you in in half a second.”
And you’re perfect, I silently added. I can’t get you out of my head. The thought of you anywhere beyond where I can see you is unacceptable.
Noelle seemed to think that over. Her breathing had calmed, chest collapsing in easy breaths instead of struggling pants. She looked past me to where Lily still cooed in her bouncer.
Then she met my gaze.
“Thank you.”
Her quiet words gripped a fist around my heart, but when she leaned forward, wrapped her arms around my neck, and breathed a tear-filled, “I don’t know what we’d do without you, Cade,” the fist around my heart yanked free.
I sat there with a gaping hole in my chest, my heartstrings flailing outside of my body and firmly in her grasp. I tightened my arms around her, feeling a sigh of finally move through my body.
“You’re safe, Noelle,” I whispered against her neck, one hand pressed to the back of her head. “You and Lily will always belong here. We’re going to figure this out together, squirrels and all.”
Lily and Noelle went to bed later that night.
I seethed.
Livid, but unable to bash my hammer into the bathroom flooring and finish the demolition process Noelle had advanced today, I forced myself to the barn. I shoveled stalls, snow, whatever I could find. I worked until the froth eased out of me and exhaustion remained in its wake.
Abandoned by her family.
Chased by an untrusting woman with nothing else to hold onto.
I was not having it.
Not anymore.
A drawling voice stopped me dead as I replaced the pitchfork along the sidewall.
“Something wrong, hoss?”
Cody stood just inside the doorway, snow clumped along his boots.
He tilted his head with a knowing eyebrow raise.
I turned away and muttered, “Leave me alone,” as I headed down the aisle, checking each horse.
Fresh hay filled the stalls. Water heaters kept the troughs open, and the barn settled without my hurricane ripping through it.
Cody chased after me.
“Didja get in a fight with Noelle?”
“What?” I reared back, glaring at him over my shoulder. “No! Why would you ask that?”
“Oh, no reason,” he said lightly, tucking one hand in his vest. “But also lots of reasons. It’s two in the morning. Why are you out here at two in the morning doing Wyatt’s job? Now you’ll have to find something for him to do tomorrow.”
“I know what he’s doing tomorrow.”
“Oh?”
“The damn bathroom.”
I pressed my lips together and held another curse word in.
That’s another five dollars for the curse jar.
Ten, including my slip in front of Noelle.
At this rate, the knuckleheads would be able to cash it out and buy whatever concert tickets they wanted.
Wyatt salivated over a new rock band with an upcoming event a few hours away.
Cody’s footfalls paused, started again.
“Okay, so now I think it’s the end of the world.”
I stopped so suddenly he almost slammed into my back. I whipped around, stared at him eye-to-eye.
“If you know I’m not in the house, and you ever see someone drive up here in a car that you don’t know, you get to the house before they can ring the doorbell, you hear me? Just stand on the porch if you have to. I don’t want Noelle to be facing anyone if she’s alone.”
Cody took it in stride, which was always the good thing about Cody. He rarely had questions. He just listened.
“Okay.”
“You stay near Noelle. If I’m not around and you’re concerned about anything, get me here. Got it?”
“Got it.”
His continued agreements soothed me. I’d been wracking my brain for ways to keep Noelle and Lily safe for hours. Plans populated into what-ifs and then scenarios that couldn’t possibly happen. I had to work hard to remind myself of what was real, versus what I created in my mind.
Silence petaled around us, and I didn’t realize it until too much time had passed. I’d been standing in the middle of the barn in a mental quagmire.
So much for being a put-together boss.
“Cade?”
I snapped, “What?” with deepening exasperation. The last thing I wanted to deal with was a string of inquiries. My body was starting to feel the hard labor from the last few hours, and the lateness. I’d regret this with morning chores.
“Is Noelle safe?”
I met his inquiring stare and sighed. “Yes, she’s fine. She has . . . a situation . . . with her family. There’s a remote chance that Lily’s paternal grandparents might show up and try to take the baby from Noelle.”
“That’s why you mentioned the car?”
“Yeah.”
But, as I said it aloud, I felt like an idiot. Would they really storm out here to kidnap a baby? Noelle said she had temporary guardianship, which must mean an attorney and paperwork. She was next-of-kin to her sister . . .
I needed the full picture. All I understood was what she told me from a place of fear. Surely, there were more details. But even that piece of rationality came too late. Heck, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like this.
Or . . . ever . . . feeling like this.
One perceived threat against Noelle and Lily and I’d almost lost my damn mind. I muttered to myself again. I’d have to put twenty dollars in the curse jar by the time I ended this angry tirade.
“Look, hoss,” Cody said diplomatically, “I know custody battles. Mom and I ran from my dad for years so he didn’t beat the shiiii—” He cut short, catching my warning, and finished with, “—iitake mushrooms out of me. If there’s a custody battle, it’s better not to run or hide.”
I frowned.
Both his hands shot in the air.
“Not saying Noelle did anything wrong by coming here! Just saying . . . openness is better. As long as the law is on her side, and you’re okay with it, why not set the playing field?”
Dumbfounded, I asked, “What are you talking about?” and mentally set a reminder to ask him about his father later. Cody had a history—he wouldn’t be living here if he didn’t—but he hadn’t mentioned his old man’s abuse since he arrived and met me for the first time.
Cody smiled.
“Bring the grandparents here, hoss. Let them see Lily, hold her, play with her. Don’t let it be a secret. As long as Noelle hasn’t actually kidnapped her, seeing the baby, the home, and us here with Lily will make her look less cagey, at any rate.”
“It might give them ammunition.”
He shrugged. “Going on the run might, too. There are no guarantees in any of this, but it shows willingness to talk it out. Maybe that’ll matter, depending on the judge.”
Was it the late hour, my weary muscles, or straight confusion . . . but did Cody actually make sense?
“That’s . . . not a bad idea?”
His grin widened. “Every now and then, hoss, I got great ideas.” His mirth dropped. “You know what else is a great idea? Go to bed. You’re keeping me up with all this racket, too, and my super-demanding boss is going to make me wake up stupid early to work on his bathroom.”