6. Hudson
Chapter 6
Hudson
O n Tuesday morning after a good, hot shower, though not as long as Hudson had promised, and breakfast, as Gabe led them to one of the silver trucks in the parking lot, Hudson took one look at Ty’s face and said, “I’ll sit in the back.”
He wasn’t responsible for Ty. No. Ty was a fully grown man, but his expression when he glanced at the back seat of the truck made Hudson feel like he needed to step in. So he did.
As Gabe drove the truck up the switchbacks along the hillside, the scent of rain-damp pine trees was thick in the air. Above the flickers of sunshine and shadow, the sky blazed a cerulean blue.
Hudson still didn’t understand the need to be given a pair of cowboy boots and a hat that he would probably never wear once he left the valley. Ty seemed pretty chipper about it, though, sitting up straight in the truck’s passenger seat, just about smiling, seeming no worse for wear from his jaunt in the rain the night before.
From time to time, Ty would look in the passenger-side rearview mirror and catch Hudon’s gaze. Hudson didn’t mind that as much as he might have only days before, when avoiding a connection with another human being was a priority. Was, in fact, an unwise choice as far as his personal safety was concerned.
“That’s John Henton’s cabin,” said Gabe as they topped the hill and came out into a vast, open grassy space. The cabin in question looked newly built but was in the style of an old pioneer cabin. “He’s the guy the tavern in town is named after. That’s where we’ll be going to celebrate after your first two weeks in the valley. And that’s when you’ll be given your refurb phones with six months’ worth of data on them.”
Hudson nodded absently to show he was listening, but what did it matter? Phone or no phone, he’d hardly be able to get a job, let alone start looking for a gently used rig so he could start his own trucking business. Not with a class four felony on his record. Not with zero money in his pockets. That rig had been the plan, before all the shit had come down.
He shook his head free of old, bad memories and watched the landscape go by, damp grasses, a low, gray sky, a wind that pushed at the windows.
After following the dirt road down the other side of the hill, they arrived at a gravel parking lot, abutted by two buildings, both of wood with long porches in the front. Between the two buildings were three flagpoles, one with the Wyoming state flag, the next flying the American flag, and the third one was a flag he didn’t recognize, with red letters against a white background, and three pine trees curving around the words.
“This is us,” said Gabe, parking the truck. “That’s Maddy’s office and welcome center on the left, and the store is the one on the right.”
The outside of the store looked rustic, and once the three of them had mounted the steps to go inside, Hudson figured out it was on purpose.
It was a guest ranch, Gabe had said, with high-paying customers looking for an authentic western experience. The inside of the store was probably meant to look like an old-timey general store, except the racks of clothes were all modern, and the glass-topped cases held modern candy and scarves and bolero ties with large chunks of real turquoise. Along one wall were racks of cowboy hats and boxes of cowboy boots, with boots pulled out to display them.
“You can have any pair of boots you like,” said Gabe, waving his hand over the selection, like a masculine version of Vanna White. Was Wheel of Fortune even on anymore? Hudson had no idea. “And hats, too. We want you to be well equipped.”
Still dubious, Hudson walked across the pinewood floor and looked at the row of cowboy boots. Beside him, Ty was rising on his toes, reaching out to touch this boot and then that one.
“I don’t even know what I’m looking at,” Hudson said to Ty.
The smile he got from Ty was blinding and seemed to cut through his mood. He didn’t want to step outside his walls of protectiveness, but the smile left him feeling helpless to resist being at least a little involved in the process.
“Ariats are a good brand,” said Ty. “And Tecovas, too, though those are more expensive. Did they really mean it when they said we could have any that we wanted?”
Hudson shrugged, pretending he wasn’t overwhelmed yet again by the program’s generosity.
“Luccheses are nice,” added Ty. “But I think they’re more for show than actual work.”
Hudson grunted under his breath and followed Ty down the row of boxes, each stack with a boot on top. What did it matter which boot he picked out?
“Here,” said Ty, handing Hudson a tall brown boot with minimal tooling, but a very nice luster. “That’s a Tecova. The Cartwright, it says.”
“Okay,” said Hudson, trying to imagine himself wearing such boots, and failing.
“And I’ll take these,” said Ty. “The Prescott.” He said the name with a little hiss, as if very pleased with his selection. The Prescott had a pale-colored upper half, with a darker lower, and an elegant, pointed toe.
“Maddy will get pairs in your sizes,” said Gabe, coming up behind them. “Nice choices,” he said.
“Thanks,” said Ty.
Hudson watched an older woman come up to them. She had her long gray hair gathered into a single braid down her back, and her blue eyes sparkled brightly as she smiled at them.
“Hi, I’m Maddy, and you’re Hudson, right? And you’re Ty? Did you find everything you needed in your boxes?”
“And then some,” said Ty. “Thanks for everything, the Chapstick, especially.”
“You’re more than welcome,” she said, smiling at them both. “If you run out of anything, just let Gabe know, and we’ll get it for you.”
Hudson didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at how grateful Ty was for that Chapstick. After all, he’d been pretty grateful for it, too.
In Nebraska Correctional, any kind of lip balm was a high-end commodity. On the chain gang, the item had been simply unavailable, and prisoners suffered chapped lips from day one.
“While Maddy gets you some boots to try on, how about you pick out some hats?” asked Gabe.
Up to his neck with irritation about how ridiculous all of this was, Hudson kept his mouth shut for Ty’s sake. But before they could even start looking at hats, Maddy came over with two boxes.
“I got your sizes from your files,” she said, handing them each a box. “Why don’t you sit down and try them on, make sure they fit?”
Hudson did as he was told. He tried on those brown boots and stood up in them. And felt ten feet tall.
But he was distracted by the fact that he was getting more pleasure out of Ty’s pleasure than he was his own. Ty pulled on his boots and stood up to look at himself in the mirror. His shoulders went back, and he pushed his hair out of his eyes and lifted his chin.
From the top of his head, all the way down his backside and thighs, he looked every inch a cowboy. A handsome, slender cowboy.
When he looked at Hudson, his eyes were twinkling, as happy as if his time in prison and on the chain gang had never happened. Leaving Hudson without any idea as to what he was supposed to do with his reaction to that sudden, wild beauty.
“Nice, huh?” asked Ty. “Why don’t you come over and look at yourself in the mirror?”
There was nothing Hudson wanted to do less than look at himself in the mirror. Sure, he’d shaved in front of a mirror, but he’d not looked at himself. He did not want to be reminded of all he’d been through, did not want to discover what his face might reveal.
“Please?” asked Ty, in a way that promised good things, if only Hudson was willing to receive them.
Now he had to, because Gabe and Maddy were probably watching. And Ty had said please in the sweetest voice, cracking part of Hudson open.
When he arrived in front of the long mirror, his attention was caught by the boots, which really did look nice. And did make him look longer, taller.
He looked at Ty in the mirror. Ty’s eyebrows rose as if to ask, Why don’t you look at your own face , though there was no way Ty knew what he was thinking. But it would look odd not to scan his own reflection, so he did, and saw what he knew he’d see.
It was the face of a man who’d suffered a betrayal by his own brother and five years behind bars.
Sure, he’d done the crime. He’d been behind the wheel of the getaway car for the bank robbery. But he’d been the only one to go to jail and the gaunt, half dead look in his eyes showed every bit of his anger. And the bitterness that had gotten him through it all.
He’d hardly known so much of his emotions showed like they were now. Hadn’t known how ugly it made him. How Ty could even stand to look at him, let alone smile at him, he had no idea.
“Let’s try on hats while wearing our boots.” The smile in Ty’s voice was infectious, so Hudson followed him over to the hat rack and began twirling it around to see all the hats.
They went over the different patterns cut into the straw, and the hat bands, which went from simple to fancy.
“This one would look good on you, I think,” said Ty. “And the leather in the hat band matches the brown in your eyes.”
Behind him, Hudson felt someone move, and he whirled, fists clenched, ready to protect himself. Only to find not an assailant, but Maddy.
She had a hat in her hand, much like the one Ty had picked out for him. But she was not smiling. Instead, her face turned white, and she backed up a few steps.
Hudson dropped his fists, sweat breaking out all over him, between his legs, under his arms, down his back. An icy cold sweat because he’d barely pulled back from punching her.
He’d never hit a woman, and wasn’t about to start, but five years behind bars had taught him to be ever at the ready for danger. And now this kindly woman was afraid of him.
“I’m—” He stopped, having no idea how to explain what had happened. What had almost happened.
“He’s horrified,” said Ty, coming closer, just about stepping between them. “It’s something that can happen after you’ve been through what he has. You can’t blame him. But he’s horrified, and he would never hurt anyone.”
Gabe rushed over. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” said Maddy. “I think I startled Hudson, is all.”
Shame rushed through Hudson like a hot river. Prison had changed him so much, affecting people who were in no way to blame.
“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” he said. “I don’t know what came over me. Actually, I do know, but it’s so hard to leave it behind me?—”
“Are you okay?” Gabe asked Maddy.
“Yes,” she said, but her eyes were still a little wide as she looked at Hudson. “I think I came up to him too quickly.”
“As long as you’re okay,” he said to her. Then to Hudson, he said, “Some ex-cons have anger management issues, but I don’t think that’s what happened here.”
Shock ran through him all over again, leaving an icy trail in its wake. He wasn’t going to get punished for almost hurting Maddy.
On the chain gang, had something like this happened, Hudson whirling in attack mode when the chain gang manager’s wife had come by, for example, he’d have found himself in a very shallow grave before he could even blink.
“I really am sorry,” he said as the sweat dried from the back of his neck. “That’s a mighty nice hat, ma’am.”
He meant it, but he’d have to be extra on guard now, to make sure he didn’t scare her ever again.
The morning proceeded in a more orderly fashion after that, with Ty and him making their hat selections, and then changing out of the cowboy boots into their regular work boots because it was too muddy out.
His stomach felt hollow as he followed Gabe and Ty back to the truck. Once again, he sat in the back, the boxes stacked on the bench seat beside him, because Ty needed to sit in the front so he wouldn’t need to barf again.
Hudson had no interest in enjoying the passing scenery, and once back in the valley, they gathered their boot boxes and straw cowboy hats and followed Gabe back to their tent.
“Sometimes it can take a while to adjust to the real world,” Gabe said. “The Saturday group counseling sessions can help with that, but in the meanwhile, give yourself time. And if you need someone to talk to, I’m always available.”
With a smile, Gabe added, “I’ll see you both at lunch. Then, this afternoon, we have the exciting job of clearing branches and fallen trees from that rainstorm last night.”
Hudson watched him go. There was no way in hell he’d share anything about himself at a group counseling session, regardless of how useful Gabe imagined that might be.
When Ty rolled his eyes, Hudson felt the same way. As nice as Gabe seemed, Hudson had learned the hard way not to trust anyone, especially not the man in charge.
“I can’t believe how much time this place devotes to not working,” said Ty. “Breakfast, shopping, no work, and now lunch? Is that the new normal?”
“I guess it is.” But just how long would it take before it actually felt normal? Hudson had no idea.