7. Ty
Chapter 7
Ty
A s Ty tromped up the wooden steps, carrying his boot box, he knew he hadn’t felt so bad for a guy since he could remember, and felt sorry for Hudson in the worst way.
When the confrontation in the ranch’s store had happened, well, almost happened, Hudson had gone white and broken out in a sweat. Bits of his dark hair still stuck to his temples, and the back of his neck gleamed as they entered the tent and put their boot boxes and hat boxes on their respective cots.
Ty wanted nothing more than to put on his new cowboy boots as soon as humanly possible and wear them around, but it was simply too muddy and might spoil the brand-new leather. Over time, as he polished and cared for the boots, they would get broken in to withstand a great deal. For now, he would wear his heavy-duty work boots and wait until the time was right for the cowboy boots.
Waiting by the opening of the tent, Ty watched Hudson sink down to his cot as though he were utterly exhausted.
“We need to go to lunch,” said Ty.
Hudson shook his head, then buried his face in his hands, his elbows on his knees, letting out a huge, shuddering sigh.
“Hudson?” His concern rose at the sight of such a strong man, brought so low.
“That wasn’t me,” Hudson said, his voice muffled. “That didn’t use to be me.”
Ty knew what he meant. Prison changed a man, pure and simple. He himself didn’t know how he’d get back to his old self. Didn’t even know if he could.
Gabe had talked about group counseling sessions, but those wouldn’t be any better than the waste of time the sessions in Nebraska Correctional had been. He didn’t plan on going, but he’d probably have to.
In the meantime, there was Hudson, looking like he wanted to punch through a wall or collapse into a puddle. Only there weren’t any walls. Just green canvas and a whole lot of trees and sky.
“Hudson?” asked Ty, moving into the tent.
“Go away.”
Last night, Hudson had rescued Ty from himself. Sure, he’d meant to come back from his walk in the rain, but some dreamy part of his mind had taken over and led him on and on, as though his body had imagined he was walking into a fairyland where everything was soft and nothing hurt.
He’d gotten stuck there, unable to figure out the difference between what was real and what was not, getting soaked and chilled to the bone all the while.
Now, looking back on it objectively, he remembered Hudson telling him that he wasn’t to go walking in the rain alone. Did that mean Hudson would be walking with him? Maybe. Or perhaps it meant that Hudson would be sitting up waiting for him, soft fluffy towel in his hands to dry Ty off, the way he had done last night.
It had been the nicest thing to happen to him in over two years, so Ty owed Hudson some help. More than that, Ty wanted to help him, which would make him feel powerful and good. There had been so many changes in the last few days, it was overwhelming.
“Hudson?” Ty took a step closer.
“What did I just say?” growled Hudson without taking his hands from his face, making him sound very much like a lion threatening from the darkness of its lair.
“Didn’t hear you,” said Ty, in a matter-of-fact way. He went and sat down next to Hudson, nice and close, on the cot. He was so close his thigh was pressing against Hudson’s thigh, and he could feel the rapid in and out of Hudson’s ragged breathing.
Hudson’s arm tightened, like he meant to let go of himself and shove Ty away. So Ty looped his arm through Hudson’s and hung on. Hudson twitched and pulled back, but Ty didn’t let go.
“Hudson,” he whispered, leaning his head on Hudson’s shoulder. He could smell Hudson’s sweat and sense the invisible jumping of the muscles in his arm, and felt sorry for Hudson. Sorry for them both.
He hadn’t been close to another human being like this in years. Hudson’s carrying him in from the rain didn’t count, as he’d been half out of his mind at the time.
“Hudson, it’s okay,” said Ty, low, doing his best to be comforting. “You couldn’t help it. She scared you. You didn’t hit her.”
“Almost did,” said Hudson. “Too close. It was too close.”
“It was, but you pulled back in time. Okay?”
Hudson didn’t move, either to answer or to shove Ty away. Ty leaned in closer, circling both of his arms around Hudson’s elbow, enjoying the dense, strong feel of him. The way his breath was slowing. And still Hudson didn’t pull away, even when he seemed calmer.
“You’re a good guy, Hudson,” said Ty, pressing his mouth against Hudson’s sleeved shoulder, as if he meant to kiss him there. “You know how I know? Not only didn’t you hit Maddy, but you’re beating yourself up about it. A bad guy wouldn’t be doing that. And not only that , you rescued me from myself last night. You carried me in your arms like I was a bride.”
He laughed at that, bits of the memory coming back to him. And was pleased to hear Hudson make a low sound that might have been a grunt of acknowledgement, or it might have been a low chuckle.
“You’re nobody’s bride,” said Hudson.
“I could be,” said Ty stoutly. “I have no shame. You can carry me like that anytime. In the meanwhile—” He pressed his temple to Hudson’s shoulder and thought he felt Hudson moving beneath his hands. “In the meanwhile, you need to give yourself a break. Just like I do.”
Maybe Ty had finally convinced Hudson to go easy on himself, or maybe Hudson was through giving himself hell, but he sat up, scrubbing at one eye with the heel of a strong palm. He looked at Ty, exhausted circles beneath his eyes.
“Why the hell did you go out in the rain like that with no clothes on?” asked Hudson, his voice soft.
“To wash it all away,” said Ty. “The itch beneath my skin, the last of the dust from the chain gang. All of it. When things get really hard, a walk in the rain seems to wash it all away.” Ty smiled, and wanted desperately to move even closer to Hudson, though he seemed to be pulling back. “So you see, we’re both going through it.”
“Yeah.”
“We’re not in jail anymore and this seems like a nice place, so let’s count on each other,” said Ty. He tried to make himself let go of Hudson’s arm but couldn’t. And Hudson didn’t seem to mind. “If you need to rage at someone, rage at me. Talk it out. Not to the boss man or some stupid counselor, but to me. I was there, Hudson. I know exactly what went on.”
Hudson nodded, rubbing his hands together as if he meant to jump up and start doing whatever it was that Gabe wanted him to.
“I know you do,” said Hudson, turning to look at Ty fully. Some color had come back into his face, and Ty gave himself a gold star for putting it there.
“Let’s go to lunch,” said Ty, as he had a feeling that Hudson needed a break from Ty’s intense cheerfulness. He didn’t feel all that cheerful, but for the first time in a long time, he knew things could be different. “I hear the food here is very good,” he added, meaning it as a joke because he already knew the food was amazing.
They walked through the woods to the crowded mess tent, sticking together in the buffet line and, when they sat down, Ty sat between Hudson and everyone else. The food was as good as it had been that morning, and the night before at dinner, but Hudson didn’t seem to be enjoying it much.
“Eat the chicken parm, at least,” Ty said, pointing at Hudson’s plate with his fork. “You need the protein.”
When Hudson looked at him, Ty could see it in his eyes. The anger at being told what to do one second and, in the next, a softness battling to get out.
“Just a couple of bites, okay?” asked Ty as gently as he could. Some guys needed toughness. Hudson most certainly did not. “They’re putting us to work, finally, so you need to be ready.”
Hudson looked away and, with a quick nod, began to eat, slowly and steadily, until he’d finished everything on his plate. Ty couldn’t talk Hudson into even the smallest slice of apple pie, but Hudson stayed with Ty while he ate his. Which Ty found touching and sweet.
They gathered in a clearing near Half Moon Lake, standing in a circle as Gabe explained the task.
“We’ve had a bunch of branches break off in the recent storms,” he said. “Plus, there are trees that need felling. We’ll cut what we can for cordwood and take it up to the ranch. Whatever’s too small will go in the chipper. Okay?” He pointed at each one of them in turn and assigned them their roles. “Blaze, you’re on the chipper. Ty, Wayne’s going to show you how to work a chainsaw. And Hudson, I’d like you splitting wood.”
Ty knew that Hudson was still worked up about what had almost happened to Maddy because he took one look at the pile of logs needing to be split, grabbed the axe from Gabe, and went at it like he was smashing the heads of his enemies. He worked up a sweat in no time, unbuttoning his shirt, then asked if there were more logs.
Which made it hard for Ty to focus on what Wayne was trying to teach him, though he did his best. It was a pleasant way to spend an afternoon, sometimes using the chainsaw, other times picking up small branches to take to the chipper for Blaze to deal with. Ty was warm, and his muscles were getting a workout, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.
When they took a break for a drink of water—and snacks of apples and cheese and crackers—Ty went up to where Hudson was sitting on a log, looking grimly at the packet of cheese and crackers in his hand.
“You okay?” Ty asked. He sat down next to Hudson, expecting Hudson would shove him away. But Hudson didn’t. “Is this about Maddy? Or something else?”
To his surprise, Hudson didn’t pretend he didn’t know. “Nice woman like that does not deserve to be scared that way,” he said with a stiff shake of his head, like he was trying to erase the memory. “My apology wasn’t enough, even if she did understand.”
“Someone else here did that to her and you’d end them, right?” asked Ty.
Hudson nodded yes.
“What if we got her some flowers or something?”
“That’s what abusive boyfriends do,” said Hudson, his mouth a thin line. He shifted, then snarled, “Honey, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“But it won’t,” said Ty. “You’re not that guy.”
“Everything all right?” asked Gabe.
Ty looked up. Everyone else was getting back to work. They were the only two still sitting. Lollygagging. If there’d been any chain gang guards, they would already have felt the blows of billy clubs. Rather than what they were getting, which was Gabe’s concerned expression and his steady, low voice asking if they were okay.
Ty decided to risk it on Hudson’s behalf.
“He still feels bad about what happened with Maddy,” he said, and winced when Hudson gave him a taste of his elbow. “We were thinking of maybe sending her flowers.”
“Oh,” said Gabe, and to Ty’s amazement, he appeared to be actually thinking it over.
“But not in an abusive boyfriend kind of way,” added Ty.
“I think that’s a nice idea,” said Gabe. “You boys can take the truck and head on into Farthing. There’s a small bodega that has bouquets and nosegays, that kind of stuff. Here.” He reached into his wallet and pulled out a five and a twenty. “Take this. Key fob is in the truck. Do you remember the way to town?”
Ty was shocked at the easy going nature of the offer. As to how Hudson kept his hand so steady when he took the money, Ty could only imagine he had nerves of steel. As to the questions behind his eyes, the slight confusion, Tyson knew exactly how he felt.
“It’s about trust, Hudson,” said Gabe, as though Hudson had spoken those questions out loud. “That’s what the valley is all about. You did your time. You’re here, now, to learn how to remember how the rest of the world works outside the penal system.” He paused a moment, looking around the clearing at the men working hard. “You want to make amends to Maddy? This is a good idea. Sure, we could order those flowers online and have them delivered, but they won’t arrive till tomorrow. This way, you deliver them in person. Okay?”
“Okay,” said Hudson, seeming stiff with resistance at the whole idea.
“Can I go?” asked Ty, giving into impulse. He almost rose on his toes at the idea of it—a drive into town . Nothing special, maybe, but not to him.
“Sure,” said Gabe easily, much to Ty’s surprise. “You guys be back before dinner, all right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Yes, sir.”
In a bubble of excitement, at least on Ty’s part, as Hudson was being absolutely stone-faced about it all, they washed up and changed shirts and looked at each other as they slowly walked to the truck.
“You got the money?” Ty asked as he climbed into the passenger seat of the nearest silver F150.
“Yeah, I got the money,” said Hudson.
He started the engine and backed up with a flourish, sending gravel spinning, the engine growling. Then he came to a stop at the bottom of the hill.
“You nervous?” asked Ty.
He watched Hudson’s shoulders flex. Watched his face shift, as if he wasn’t sure how he was feeling. Saw the damp tendrils of dark hair along Hudson’s temples from his recent wash. Saw the way his blue shirt moved across his shoulders as he gripped the steering wheel and twisted his fingers around it in short, jerky motions.
“You’re going to be fine,” Ty said. He leaned close so he could see Hudson’s eyes beneath half-lowered lids. “Women love flowers. Maddy’s already forgiven you. Let’s do this.”
Hudson’s face softened, and he looked at Ty for a full minute, as if gathering his resources. Then he smiled.
“Let’s do this.”