Chapter 3
Paige
BLOWING THE HAIR out of her face, Paige crouched down to pull the last load of laundry from the dryer, dumping the socks and T-shirts out into a waiting basket. One day off a week, and it was always spent doing fucking laundry.
Adulthood was so overrated.
Once the dryer was empty, she pulled out the lint screen, scraping the collected fuzz into the trash before sliding the filter back into place and closing the door.
Hauling the most dreaded load into the living room of the home she built five years ago, Paige dropped to the sofa and went to work folding a million socks.
This was not where she expected her life to be ten years ago. This wasn’t where she expected her life to be five years ago. This wasn’t even where she expected her life to be last week.
She was supposed to be making plans and finally looking forward to the future.
Instead, she was sitting in her beautiful house, wearing sweats, a ratty T-shirt, and mismatched socks, watching the Dakota Johnson version of Persuasion for the millionth time. Alone.
The movie hit home in a number of ways. She totally understood what it was like to pine for someone for years.
How hard it was to see them every day knowing they weren’t yours.
The misery of realizing you might have missed your shot because you were too stupid—or too afraid—to reach out and grab what you wanted and tell everyone else to go fuck themselves.
Sighing—again—she dropped the last pair of bleachy smelling white socks onto the stack and carried them upstairs into the bedroom that had never seen a man.
And at this point, probably never would.
After depositing the pile into its designated drawer in her fancy walk-in closet, she wandered back through the pristine room, looking over the furniture and decorations she’d painstakingly picked out.
At one point, this place brought her joy.
Reminded her of all she’d accomplished and how hard she’d worked to bring the failing bar her dad started back from the brink.
But now it just made her sad.
Because she’d give it all up in a heartbeat to have someone by her side.
No. Not someone .
Le—
Her phone started to ring from where she’d left it on the coffee table.
This time, instead of sighing, Paige groaned as she hustled down the stairs.
No one ever called her for happy reasons.
There was likely some issue with the bar and she’d have to get dressed and go in and spend what was left of her day off dealing with yet another shit show.
Grabbing her cell, she swiped across the screen without looking at the display since she was confident she knew who it was. “What now?”
Right when she noticed the telltale drone of conversation wasn’t in the background, a familiar voice carried through the line.
“I feel like I should call you later.” Leland’s tone carried a smile, but also had a hint of something else.
Tension maybe? Could it be stress?
“No.” Paige said it louder than she intended, worried he’d hang up. “It’s fine.” She rubbed her forehead, trying to ease the headache coming on. “What’s up?”
She didn’t want to be mad at him. Didn’t want to be disappointed Leland didn’t remember the promise—the pact—they’d made.
While he had remembered her birthday, that seemed to be all he remembered. Even after she made a wish and blew out the candle he’d lit on her cupcake, Leland still hadn’t brought up their agreement.
Flopping down onto her sofa, she let her head rest back against the cushions and closed her eyes, waiting for him to explain why he was calling since it wasn’t to ask her to marry him and have his babies. Babies she wanted so much she could almost hear them babbling and blowing bubbles in her ear.
Except…
Paige sat up straight, pressing the phone closer, confirming that the sound wasn’t actually her imagination. “Is that a baby?”
“Yeah.” Leland got louder as the babbling started to change, shifting to something closer to a cry. “I’m babysitting Rosemary and Will tonight.”
Of course he was. If her ovaries weren’t so depressed they’d probably be exploding right now. “That’s nice.”
“It’s really not.” Leland grunted, the sound loud in her ear. His voice was strained and aimed away from the phone as he said, “Rosemary, stop poking me there.”
“It was a accident.” Rosemary’s little voice didn’t sound the least bit sorry.
“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full.” Paige smiled in spite of her shitty mood. It’s not that she wanted Leland to be tortured by the two small people he loved more than anything.
But it’s not that she didn’t want him to be tortured by them either.
“That’s why I’m calling.” He paused as his nephew’s cry picked up to a wail. “Are you busy?”
She snorted. “Are you asking me to come help you babysit?”
“I am.” Leland didn’t even attempt to deny it. “But I’m willing to use bribery if that will help.”
“Oh yeah?” She stood from the sofa, knowing she’d go over regardless. “What are you going to bribe me with?” She tried to sound teasing, but for some reason—probably lack of sex and an abundance of disappointment—a hint of suggestion laced its way into the question.
“I guess that depends on what you want.”
Paige stopped at the foot of the stairs. Because Leland saw her hint of suggestion, and raised it to full-on insinuation.
No. She must be reading into things. Again.
“I’ll think about it.” Brushing off the way his deep voice had carried through the line and funneled straight to her nipples, she hiked back to the second floor. “Give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll be over.”
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.” Leland disconnected the line just as the baby he must have had in his arms started screaming right into the phone.
Dropping her cell onto the bed, Paige went into the closet, lips pursed as she grabbed a pair of joggers and a hoodie. If she was going to deal with Pokey Pokerson and Captain Cries a Lot, she was going to do it comfortably.
Jumping into the shower, she quickly scrubbed down, washing away the sweat she’d worked up cleaning the bathrooms and scrubbing the kitchen floor. Less than five minutes later, she was slathering moisturizer on her face and pulling her hair up into a messy knot at the top of her head.
Grabbing her favorite sneakers and the cell she’d tossed onto the bed, Paige hurried down the stairs. After switching off the television, she grabbed her bag and her keys and ducked out into the two-car garage where her brand-new sedan was waiting.
One more purchase that was supposed to fix everything. And one more purchase that failed. Happiness wasn’t nearly as easy to buy as she’d been hoping, which was very annoying.
Starting the engine, she backed out, making sure the garage door closed before aiming for Beverly’s house. Two minutes into the drive, her cell started ringing through the speakers. Connecting the call on her dash, she answered, “Hello.”
“I was just checking to see if maybe you could stop for some food on your way.” Leland sounded even more frazzled than he had earlier. “Bev left food, but?—”
Will was still screaming in the background and Rosemary was yelling even louder as she tried to be heard. The noise made it just about impossible to understand the rest of what Leland was saying, so she cut him off. “I’ll take care of it. You keep everyone alive until I get there.”
Leland was a great uncle and loved those kids more than life. He was also cool, calm, and collected by nature. For him to be so overwhelmed, things must have been getting pretty spicy at Bev’s house.
Good. Maybe dealing with a couple stinkers would cool the gnawing need to have a few of her own. Make it a little easier to handle the disappointment of discovering her best friend obviously didn’t hold the same memories close she did.
At least she hadn’t done anything stupid, like bring it up. Losing Leland—even if he would never be all she’d hoped—would be devastating. Worse than giving up on her dream of becoming a wife.
A mom.
Blowing out a breath so hard it made her lips vibrate, Paige focused on finding food.
The options were pretty limited unless she wanted to drive super out-of-the-way—which Leland probably wouldn’t appreciate—so she picked the one that seemed the most kid friendly, ordering chicken nuggets, French fries, and a few hamburgers.
Pulling away from the window, she sucked down a crispy mouthful of heavily carbonated Diet Coke, feeding her bloodstream as much caffeine as possible.
From the sound of it, she was going to need it to survive this night.
And for more than one reason—the main one being figuring out how to be around Leland knowing this was all it would ever be.
By the time she pulled into Beverly’s driveway, there were a handful of fries missing and she was halfway through her drink. Keeping their dinner balanced in one arm, she hustled up to the door, giving it a tap with the toe of her shoe as she pulled down another mouthful of soda.
The second Leland opened the door, the quiet of the night was pierced by his nephew’s wail.
Leland let out a loud exhale, his shoulders dropping a little. “Thank God.” He stepped back, never slowing the bounce of his body as he attempted to soothe Will. “Nothing I do is making him happy.”
Paige swallowed down the pang of sadness seeing Leland holding a baby stabbed through her insides. All these years she’d been holding on to hope, and now that it was gone, everything seemed to bother her.
The way his sandy hair was a little messy most of the time. The dimple in his cheek that peeked out when he was either really happy or really irritated. The width of his rough palm as he patted it against his nephew’s tiny back.
It all pretty much sucked.
But, like she’d been doing her whole life, she sucked it up, giving her best friend the most genuine smile she could manage as she stepped past him into the house she’d visited countless times over the years. “I have a few ideas, but I’m not making any promises. He might scream just as loud at me.”
She made her way down the hall toward the kitchen, giving Rosemary an exaggerated wink as she passed.
“I bought myself a bunch of chicken nuggets. Hopefully nobody tries to steal any.” She plopped the paper bags onto the table, setting her Diet Coke beside it before turning to Leland.
Holding out both hands, she wiggled her fingers. “Let me have Mr. Grumpy Pants.”
She didn’t have to ask twice. Leland immediately unloaded the baby, handing him off like the kid was on fire.
Paige tucked the baby against her shoulder as she turned for the living room, picking up the bouncing where Leland left off.
Instead of patting his back, she started smacking his butt, putting a bit more pressure behind it than his uncle did.
“You guys eat. I’m going to see if I can get him a little less angry. ”
She went to the couch and settled Will on the cushions, laying him on his back before sitting down beside him.
“The Internet said this would work, so let’s see if it’s right, buddy.
” Taking one little foot in each hand, she worked his chubby legs like a bicycle, moving each one up and down before doing both of them at the same time then tucking his knees as high on his chest as she could get them.
After half a second in the final position, Will let out the loudest, longest fart she’d ever heard in her life.
It went on so long, she started to laugh.
Then stopped when the smell hit her.
“I don’t think that was a fart.” Leland’s voice was unexpectedly close.
She turned to find him watching her, an oddly intense expression on his face.
Paige swallowed hard, unsure how to interpret the look he was giving her. “I didn’t agree to change diapers.”
Leland lifted both hands, shaking his head. “You’re the one in possession of the little monster. And I’ve heard possession is nine-tenths of the law, so that dirty diaper belongs to you, ma’am.”
“Ugh.” Paige rolled her eyes. “I hate you so much.”
“No, you don’t.” Leland gave her a wicked grin. ‘You love me.”
He wasn’t wrong.
That was the problem.