Chapter Eight #2
Evie hesitated. “As long as you’re sure I won’t bother you.”
“I’m sure.” Hayden pretended to study the rows of tag numbers before him. But it was Evie he studied from the corner of his eye. Her tentative stance. Her delicate curves. The way the breeze teased the ends of her blond hair, tempting him to touch.
The memory of their wedding day kiss returned. He’d only meant to briefly buss her lips with his. Instead, he’d been drawn into the sweet taste of Evie’s mouth, the flowery scent of her, the soft feel of her in his arms.
I’m attracted to Evie.
The fact that he wanted to kiss his wife again wasn’t something he intended to reveal to Evie. Their marital relationship was supposed to be platonic.
I want to kiss her anyway.
To kiss. To touch. To say to the world, “She’s mine.”
Evie took a seat in the rocking chair next to him. “Why are those boxes stacked on the porch?” She gestured to the side of the house tainted by Hayden’s memories.
Hayden didn’t look that way. “Those are documents that need shredding.”
“I can take them into town tomorrow. They offer shredding at the print shop in town. I need to stop there to fax our marriage certificate to Judge McKee.”
“No.” The word was flung out reflexively. “The boxes stay.”
Evie shifted in her rocker, making it creak. And then, she said in a small voice, “Okay.”
“I didn’t mean to bark,” Hayden said, ashamed of himself.
“But the message was received.” Evie opened her textbook. “I’m butting out.”
Hayden’s mouth worked, but his brain and his tongue weren’t in sync. One told him to let it go. The other told him to put his reaction in context. He reached over and laid his palm on her shoulder. “My grandfather and I argued over there.”
Evie stared at him with guarded blue eyes. “Must have been some fight.”
“It was.” Hayden withdrew his hand and rubbed it over the cheek that had been struck. “It lingers.” Like a jagged scar.
His wife cleared her throat. “I heard your grandfather’s cause of death was an undiagnosed brain tumor.”
“That’s right.” It had grown so large that it cut off the blood supply to Grandpa’s brain.
“Did you know that a tumor like that can go undetected for ten or fifteen years?” Evie took Hayden’s hand in hers. “It could have affected his behavior. Changed his temperament, his very character. Made him uncharacteristically volatile and even violent.”
Hayden sat back so fast, his head bounced against the wooden rocker rail.
“Doc might not have noticed the signs at a checkup if your grandfather didn’t complain of headaches and your grandmother didn’t report the difference in his behavior.” Her words wound through his chest in a gentle way. “If you’ve been carrying blame for that argument—”
“Don’t say it,” Hayden cut her off, filled with a hard sense of righteousness.
He stared out toward the horizon and the rapidly setting sun, wishing he wasn’t back here.
“Grandpa may have acted uncharacteristically, but I pushed his buttons until he suffered a heart attack. That was two months before our…my…non-wedding. And it was my fault.”
Evie pulled her hand away from his.
Immediately, he missed her touch.
“Hayden,” Evie said, as softly as a caress. “One thing I’ve learned in the medical profession is that the only person responsible for a heart attack is the person who has the heart attack.” And with that, she got to her feet. “Don’t carry blame you don’t deserve.”
How he wanted to believe her.
Before Hayden could think of what to say to make her stay, Katie burst onto the porch, banging into the screen door. “Look what Gran found under the back porch!” She held a small orange kitten in her arms. “Can I keep her, Mama?”
“I don’t know…” Evie glanced toward Hayden as if seeking permission.
Which annoyed him because he wasn’t her boss. They were supposed to be partners in this relationship. But, given their young audience, now wasn’t the time to hash that out. “We’ve always had barn cats.”
“I don’t want Poppy to sleep in the barn.” Katie sounded adamant. She nuzzled the kitten with her cheek. “She’s going to sleep with me.”
Hayden chuckled. “You have a lot to learn about ranch animals.”
“Such as?” Evie’s brow furrowed, her expression on its way to becoming a frown.
Which he didn’t like. Not one bit. He much preferred Evie’s smile.
But to get it back was going to take some convincing.
“First off, that kitten probably has fleas. And fleas can bite you. Second, kittens have a habit of playing at night when you want to sleep. Trust me, Katie. Out here, cats are better as outdoor beasties.”
“That sounds like a ranch rule.” Evie’s brow cleared. “I think we should listen to Hayden, bug.”
“Poppy isn’t a beastie.” Katie brought the kitten beneath her chin. “Hay-Hay, you’re no longer my favorite cowboy.”
“Ouch.” Hayden laid a hand over his heart. “I’m hurt.” But he was also grateful for the interruption. He shouldn’t be sharing his past with Evie. She dangled absolution as if he deserved it. He wasn’t sure he did.
“I found more kittens!” Gran called. “I’m giving them a bath in the mudroom.”
“And then, Poppy can sleep with me.” Katie scurried back inside. The screen door banged closed after her.
“I think Katie’s good for your grandmother,” Evie said quietly, still standing in front of the rocker she’d vacated.
“Katie is something.” Hayden tried to look mournful for this next bit. “But I’m disappointed. I thought Katie would always worship me as her favorite cowboy.”
“Kids are fickle.” Evie gave him a commiserating smile. “By the way, it’s dangerous to let a child pick up a fur baby unless you’re prepared to adopt it.”
“Another parenting rule?” How many rules could there be?
“Rules aren’t just for platonic marriages.” That brought out the glowing smile he was extremely fond of.
“I like rules.” Hayden liked her. More than he should have given their marriage bargain.
And despite needing to straighten out the paperwork needed to sell livestock and pay off his grandfather’s tax debt, he much preferred talking to Evie.
Hayden angled in his rocker to better study her.
“Is it weird to admit that after my brothers and Gran, you were one of the things I missed most about leaving Bentwood Creek?”
“I guess.” Evie’s gaze slid away from his.
“Evie…” Hayden willed her to look at him again.
She did. Tentatively. Those big blue eyes couldn’t quite meet his. And her smile wavered. “You missed me?”
“I don’t know why. Back then, you were always making waves.” But she made the kind of ripples that had made him smile, like challenging the Spring Festival board with making the event more kid friendly. But now when he smiled at Evie, it was a different kind of trouble she brought to mind.
Their gazes locked…held…
This. This is something to hold on to.
Katie’s laughter drifted out to them, so light and carefree. But no matter how lighthearted the sound, it was strong enough to break the connection between them.
They both looked away.
“And now, Katie’s trouble,” Evie murmured, smile dimming the way Hayden imagined his was. “I bet I’m sleeping with a kitten tonight.”
“Naw. Gran will convince her those kittens need to sleep in the mudroom.” He hoped, anyway, for Evie’s sake.
“I don’t know. Katie can be very persuasive.” Evie turned toward the door.
“Stay. Please.” Impulsively, Hayden held up the stock inventory pages. “My eyes are going buggy. I could use your help.”
Evie hesitated, glancing at him over her shoulder.
Hayden upped the ante. “I’ll quiz you for your test when we’re done going through this list.”
“All right.” Evie sat back down, resting the textbook in her lap.
“I’ll read the cattle tags on my list, and you see if you can match them on this one.” He handed her the master sheet, then got up to turn on the porch lights since the sun was low on the horizon. He carefully avoided any thoughts about dreams or wishes.
They made quick work of the task, matching a lot of the numbers.
“I’m so relieved.” Hayden leaned back in the wooden rocker.
“I definitely have enough cattle documented to send to auction.” The auction yard had agreed to sell one hundred head, but only if he had up-to-date paperwork.
All he had to do was cull the documented cattle on the five separate ranches and transport them to the auction yard one twenty cattle trailer load at a time.
Hayden briefly explained about his grandfather’s delinquent tax bill.
“But that’s enough ranch paperwork for one day. Let me quiz you.”
*
The sun was about to set, turning the horizon a deep purple fringed with orange.
Irrationally, Eve didn’t want this day to end.
Oh, she’d had some alarming moments earlier in the day with Katie and Irene disappearing, an episode she’d told Hayden about at dinner, apologizing profusely.
And there were still sleeping arrangements for kittens to be dealt with.
But being with Hayden after he’d quizzed her on medical vocabulary as the sun went down, while birds sang and crickets chirped, was magical.
Like a true marriage.
Eve’s phone pinged with a message. “It’s Violet. She’s asking how we’re doing.”
They were both silent.
The horizon turned a deep purple. The rest of the sky was rapidly fading into black.
“Is your sister happy?” Hayden asked quietly.
“She says she is.” Everything inside Eve felt constricted, as if her torso were wrapped in an active blood pressure cuff.
She didn’t want to talk about the woman he’d loved a decade ago.
At Hayden’s sharp look, Eve added, “No one but Violet and Charlie know if they’re happy or not.
When I was married, I told my family I was happy, even when things were falling apart.
” She was surprised that tears filled her eyes.
“I didn’t want anyone to know the mistake I’d made. ”
“I’m sorry,” Hayden said quietly.
“For what?” Eve blinked back those tears.
“Your ex-husband. He’s a jerk and you deserve better.” Hayden’s words rang with conviction. And then, his expression softened. “Even if I’m not offering you forever, you’re worthy of true love.”
Your love?
Feeling vulnerable, Eve hugged her medical textbook to her chest. “Thank you,” she whispered. “That’s really sweet when you don’t know me anymore.”
He scoffed, smiling. “I know you, Evie. I know the parts that matter anyway. The parts that make you…you.” Hayden reached over and tapped her textbook, very near the spot where her heart was.
“You’re the girl who stopped chasing after a soccer ball and helped a fallen competitor to their feet.
You’re the girl who organized a group of kids without dates to go to prom together.
And you’re the girl who visited her grandparents every weekend at Oak Hill.
You’re a smart, brave, compassionate woman.
” He got to his feet and drew Eve to hers.
His voice lowered, tone deepening to an intimate level.
“Oh, I know you, Evelyn Fisher Atkinson Bennett. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have agreed to marry you. ”
Eve felt those words like a tender caress, felt the magnetic pull of Hayden’s presence.
So near. So kissably near. But no matter the attraction, there were rules to this marriage, the same as there were rules to parenting and ranching.
Rules that made her take a small step back to protect her heart.
“You make me sound like a saint, Hayden. I’m the girl who drunk-texted you in nursing school, remember?
” She hadn’t actually been drunk. She’d texted him on a dare from her roommate.
But that was Eve’s story and she was sticking to it.
“You said you liked my bum.” Hayden grinned mischievously. “No harm in that.”
Not if our marriage was real. Not if you knew how I really felt about you.
The truth pressed at the back of Eve’s throat, wanting out, wanting Hayden to know. I love you.
“Mama! Gran says I need a bath,” Katie cried from somewhere deep inside the farmhouse, pressing pause on Eve’s need to confess her feelings.
“I better go.” But Eve didn’t move. She stood there. Waiting. For what, she wasn’t certain.
“Evie?” Hayden’s brows quirked.
I like the way he says my name.
Softly and with longing.
Eve stared at Hayden, committing every angle of his face to memory—that imperfect nose, his stubborn chin, those firm, kissable lips.
Kisses. That’s what I’m waiting for.
Drawing a deep breath, Eve waited to see if Hayden had kissing on his mind too, breaking all the rules and her best intentions just by standing there.
Hayden tucked a lock of Eve’s hair behind her ear. “Thank you for agreeing to marry me.”
“You’re thanking me?” Eve chuckled. “It was my idea.”
“Yeah, but… I think I got the better end of the deal.” Hayden’s smile was tender. His tone, sincere. But then he took a step back, putting distance between them, increasing it by staring toward the shadowy horizon.
The connection she had with Hayden shattered, leaving her chilled.
Dismissed, Eve stumbled toward the door.
Hayden was sending a message, and she’d received it loud and clear—there wouldn’t be any kisses without an audience.
It was a good reminder that their marriage was built on necessity, not chemistry that might one day become love.